When the villain is the fairest of them all Chapter 1: Foreword, a school for good and evil fanfic

When the villain is the fairest of them all, it takes a little more than being Prince Charming

Includes 'How to turn the external internal without changing her appearance!' Written by August Sader. Distributed by Efefdotnet.

Professor Sader's writing everybody's fairytale, it seems.

Series of Oneshots regarding the love lives of Nevers and Evers.

"REAL" Author, Stardust. Snowflakes. Ashes

TITLE PAGE

Of the

Unofficial

When The Villain is The Fairest of Them All

Includes Manual of Maniacal Mages: What Nevermore doesn't have, the Dos and Don'ts of Maintaining a Perfect Relationship with your girl fiend,

Why Men Love Witches, Always hit on the henchman, Dating Enchantresses to Royalties: Women are women! and Act Like a Princess, Think Like a Witch

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COMPILED and WRITTEN by

AUGUST SADER

Professor at the School for Good and Evil

Teaches History of Villainy and Heroism

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EDITED by

Stardust. Snowflakes. Ashes

Graduate of The School Of Evil, Master's Decree of Excellence: Henchmen

Whereabouts are unknown: Adept at Faking Death

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Based on the book by

SOMAN CHAINANI

Graduate of Harvard University and of Columbia University's MFA Film Program

Won awards

Great guy

Tennis player

,.,.,

Printed in table, hot in the summer.

First Edition.

The text of this book is composed in Your Mother's Girdle with the display set in A Skeever's Hide. Composition by August Sader. Book design by SSA.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

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FOREWORD, The

…Welcome, O Single One!

…Meeting your match

…Your tale begins

WOOING, The

…Serenade

…Walk in the Woods

…Flowers

…Shampoo

…Cooking

…Pets

…Sports

…Opening a door for her

…Spells

…Why leeks are better than sweets

IMPRESSING HER

…Magic

…Charms: In both senses

…Chocolates

(CHAPTER TBA)

EXTRA CHAPTER:

Villains only

In the event that you fail to woo your witch,

And ONLY in said situation,

Read this

WHO SAYS WE NEVER GET THE GIRLS?

…Back-up Plan

…Bad enough for her

…Good girls go bad

…Just the girl

…Heels over head

…Even bad wolves can be good

…Girl all the bad guys want

…I love her half to death…

…but she's killing me.

(More-to-come)

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FOREWORD

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TBA will be updated. Enjoy! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Prof Sader doesn't, either. Everything belongs to Soman Chainani. This fanfiction was by no means written to affront, as it is for humour purposes.

If you notice that most of the chapters are villain-specific, well, it's just probably because I'm too biased LOL HORT IS THE KING - Fave character! XD It wouldn't be a surprise if he and Sophie'll show up again in the next few chapters, as well as Teddy and Aggie: They're my OTPs! So they'll pretty much be recurrent here. Anyway, the contents of this fanfiction are limited to what little I know of the book: I only read the first, and I'm waiting for all the malls (BELIEVE ME, I TRIED EVERYWHERE) to restock A World Without Princes, and, frankly, if I can't get my hands on it before school starts, I might just lose it. JK, JK.

You're also wondering why it's all hetero?

Because I don't sense a spark between any characters of the same gender (perhaps excluding our two protagonists, Sophie and Agatha) and that I don't want to spoil my 'Straight Characters are Straight' Rule. Also, I'm quite not fond of shipping characters of the same biological sex. It's just who I am.

What else, what else.

Ooooh, right, is it okay if I post this on Wattpad, too? I dunno if it's even legal or anything, but if the punishment means having to give up this fanfic, I wouldn't take the risk.

So how did I come up with this idea in the first place?

I was scouring all of the city's malls for bookstores, scouting for A World of Princes (I mention this book too much for it to be normal, hehe) when I found something else. There, sitting on the top of the bookshelf, leaning suggestively to one side, was a book. Not just any book; its cover shone in the fluorescent light, and as I basked on its beauty and marvelled on its surreal sheen, I read the title. Always Hit on the Wingman: And 9 other something something. So I was like, "Oh, cool, I should consider being a wingman. Why hadn't I thought of that before? The matchmaker's always hotter than the wooer in the movies!" And I thought, "Whoa, this'd be totally wicked if the scenes I constructed in my head happened in SGE. Wait..." And BOOM! Here I am!

The experience with the School for Good and Evil was different, really: It was more intense. Like-

I may have bored you already. Know what, skip this and get on with it.

UPDATE:

Like *!#$!#&*!#($! Hell. Sweet Layton on a stick. I !#$&!*$(#$

I'M FREAKING THE FLYING FLICK OUT THE COVER IS A MASTERPIECE OKAY NO MERE MORTAL SHALL TOUCH SUCH MAJESTRY IT'S MYSTICALLY THERE OH GOD IT'S PERFECT AND FLAWLESS

SO I—AHEM. So, after weeks of combing every varied lock of fluffy bouncy straight curly dead greasy hair—hell I even scrubbed the baldest most naked part of the head so roughly that I nearly scraped off the nonexistent metaphorical city's scalp—of my town—and a few nearby cities to boot—after everything, waiting by the window sill at six in the morning staring out beyond the balcony wondering what if whatever I was feeling was the only real thing in the world, and that the hole in my heart was the only thing that ever did exist and what I want it to be filled was decidedly as unreal as my incompleteness was true, I found it.

AND IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL THAT I DO NOT REGRET ANYTHING. MY GOOD DEEDS HELPED ME MAKE IT, EVERY DEBAUCHERY LED TO THIS, EVERY MISTAKE RESULTED TO MY READING AND BUYING THE BOOK OF ALL BOOKS, THE BEGINNING OF THE END, THE START OF A WAR—

AND IT'S SO WORTH IT. IT'S SO SO SO SO WORTH IT.

I have to collect myself before I become a living sin. I finished the book as fast as a donkey took Jesus to the holy land. GODSPEED, folks, GODSPEED. I read it in one day because, frankly, it's a book you can't just put down, it's unputdownable—it's not a word? It needs to be—SOMAN CHAINANI IS A REAL GENIUS AND ANYBODY WHO SAYS OTHERWISE WOULD HAVE ME TO DEAL WITH. I might be exaggerating, but he unlocks the mind of children and young adults, a feat attained by few adults, adults! ADULTS GUYS. They who forgot the joys and simplicity of youth. I don't know if he understands his readers, but I do know I understand the messages he divulges in his books by his characters. His simple strings of words; rebels to the extreme of literature couture, tyrants of the tradition—his words speak for themselves, his words are BOLD! If he didn't know how to write, then he wouldn't have chosen words that could reach out to your consciousness and touch your soul, opening a part of you so new, or so old, neglected by other outward obligations. He used choice words that practically ARE meant to be read AND understood! He doesn't just beat around the bush, he knows what he's doing, he knows what he's talking about! If he's not a writer, I don't know who is.

It started off as—I don't know if he's teasing us that long to drag the revelations to the near end, but if that's the style that helps him think up hilarious situations, I hope he doesn't stop—quite slow, then quick-paced, until you're all—

"DID I MISS SOMETHING?"

While there were definite "wtf" moments, I also had my share of "I KNEW IT!" moments. (I analyze things too much for it not to concern my parents but lol. I guessed some of the plot, but I blame my excitement for the book and greed for the story to actually read reviews of it and get some ideas.)

MINOR SPOILER: I have this weird headcanon that Sophie and Aric would end up together. Swear. I have a lot more feels about Tedragatha after the second book too omfg