Disclaimer: I don't own THE FACULTY. I don't own Elijah Wood (even though I
wish I did ;) I'm not making any money of this so please don't sue me!
BEHIND THE CAMERA
Here I sit. Eating my lunch. All alone. Atop of the bleachers. My trusty camera slung about my neck. Thats all I need. My camera. My camera is enough to shield me from the world, yet let me take part all the same. As an observer. No one cares that I am alone. No one really notices. My parents don't know either. They see my pretty pictures on my wall and assume that means everything is alright. That as long as I can capture beauty, my life must be beautiful. How much more wrong can they be. It is the opposite of that. My life lacks beauty so, that I must snatch it up, on pieces of film in order to have it in my life at all. You shouldn't have to "snatch" beauty now should you? You shouldn't have to "capture" it. You shouldn't have to "steal a moment" of beauty. No. It's supposed to come for free. It's supposed to be plentiful. It should amerce you. Suffocate you. I breath freely. Ahhh. I can see from over the bleachers a mass of rolling plain. The sun glinting off the grass as if it were made entirely from emeralds. This is beauty isn't it? I should take a picture shouldn't I? Another pretty picture to hang on my wall and mask my own self-torment. At least my parents would be happy. I don't want anyone around me to be sucked into my discontent. I know most people in high-school have enough problems already: Who am I gonna' take to prom? I hope I make first string! I can't believe I got a 'D' on my math test! Yes. So many insignificant little problems. All around me. Nearly suffocating me as beauty is supposed to. Damn I loathe them. It's bad enough I must struggle for no apparent reason with my existence, but also they do their best to torment me day-in-day- out. Sure, I'd rather be thrown groin first into a pole a hundred times rather than suffer with my incurable, ongoing angst. But that does nothing to help my situation! How could it? I doubt a sore ego helped anyone. The names don't hurt anymore though. I became numb to insults a long time ago. I'm numb to almost everything now. Asides from the constant groin-to-pole ramming. That still kills. I wonder if I'll ever be able to have children after I get out of high-school. Like that opportunity will ever arise. Unless, all this angst is just temporary teenage depression. It doesn't feel that way, but it most likely is. I'm not one to ignore facts. Raging hormones and such are most likely the cause of my pit of despair. Well. I may as well get cozy in my little funk until the time comes when I'm thrown a rope. Until then, I'll just keep taking pictures to remind me of what beauty should be, and keep holding everything in so as not to suck anyone else into the pit with me. mabye I should invest in a jock strap. that way I'll be less bruised next time. huh.. funny thoughts these are. I better head back to class now. The bell must have rung by now. O, I really should take a picture of the plain, it really is quite beautiful. Snap. Wow. At least I can detect beauty when I see it. hmm... I know one thing by now. I'd be an AMAZING judge for the "Miss Universe" pageant.
~Jaimy Warner~
BEHIND THE CAMERA
Here I sit. Eating my lunch. All alone. Atop of the bleachers. My trusty camera slung about my neck. Thats all I need. My camera. My camera is enough to shield me from the world, yet let me take part all the same. As an observer. No one cares that I am alone. No one really notices. My parents don't know either. They see my pretty pictures on my wall and assume that means everything is alright. That as long as I can capture beauty, my life must be beautiful. How much more wrong can they be. It is the opposite of that. My life lacks beauty so, that I must snatch it up, on pieces of film in order to have it in my life at all. You shouldn't have to "snatch" beauty now should you? You shouldn't have to "capture" it. You shouldn't have to "steal a moment" of beauty. No. It's supposed to come for free. It's supposed to be plentiful. It should amerce you. Suffocate you. I breath freely. Ahhh. I can see from over the bleachers a mass of rolling plain. The sun glinting off the grass as if it were made entirely from emeralds. This is beauty isn't it? I should take a picture shouldn't I? Another pretty picture to hang on my wall and mask my own self-torment. At least my parents would be happy. I don't want anyone around me to be sucked into my discontent. I know most people in high-school have enough problems already: Who am I gonna' take to prom? I hope I make first string! I can't believe I got a 'D' on my math test! Yes. So many insignificant little problems. All around me. Nearly suffocating me as beauty is supposed to. Damn I loathe them. It's bad enough I must struggle for no apparent reason with my existence, but also they do their best to torment me day-in-day- out. Sure, I'd rather be thrown groin first into a pole a hundred times rather than suffer with my incurable, ongoing angst. But that does nothing to help my situation! How could it? I doubt a sore ego helped anyone. The names don't hurt anymore though. I became numb to insults a long time ago. I'm numb to almost everything now. Asides from the constant groin-to-pole ramming. That still kills. I wonder if I'll ever be able to have children after I get out of high-school. Like that opportunity will ever arise. Unless, all this angst is just temporary teenage depression. It doesn't feel that way, but it most likely is. I'm not one to ignore facts. Raging hormones and such are most likely the cause of my pit of despair. Well. I may as well get cozy in my little funk until the time comes when I'm thrown a rope. Until then, I'll just keep taking pictures to remind me of what beauty should be, and keep holding everything in so as not to suck anyone else into the pit with me. mabye I should invest in a jock strap. that way I'll be less bruised next time. huh.. funny thoughts these are. I better head back to class now. The bell must have rung by now. O, I really should take a picture of the plain, it really is quite beautiful. Snap. Wow. At least I can detect beauty when I see it. hmm... I know one thing by now. I'd be an AMAZING judge for the "Miss Universe" pageant.
~Jaimy Warner~