A\N: ...What the unholy freak is wrong with my brain? *sighs* Okay, basic idea-trigger warnings for rape\PTSD, but for everyone else, this is what happens when I rewatch TT. This. And I blame the plot bunnies. :p
RAVEN
It's time.
I know. I've always known. When I grew up, on Azarath, they taught me. Slowly, gently. I was only a child, after all. But it was never a secret, what would happen.
Trigon will try to come through me, and I will be the sacrifice to keep him sealed.
I look around. This team...I gave them today. It was sort of a parting gift, my way of saying goodbye. Cyborg's carrying me now, and I wonder, what will they do to me? Hold me hostage, torture Trigon's daughter so he doesn't-
-moonlight, half naked, runes burning my skin, I can sense his lust from here, shut up, Slade, shut UP-
I shut my eyes, trying to wipe away the memory. These waking nightmares are part of how I experience pain. It's not as fun as it could be.
I wonder what they'll do to me. I see Robin leading the charge. Robin. He's like a brother to me. He knows what he has to do. I won't resist. I'll open my arms to the knife, the poker, the thumbtacks, whatever they use. This is Earth. Torture is a pastime for them. Maybe that's a good thing-Trigon would never have believed Azarath would hurt his daughter.
-"Hello, Birthday Girl. Are you ready for your...present?"-
Stop. Please.
Robin's face is grim. Suddenly my mind, my bitchy mind, realizes how alike he and Slade are, and maybe-I stop the thought, before I trigger another nightmare, but I know already I would even open my legs if Robin wanted me to.
I love my friends.
A memory creeps in, slowly. Mother Mae-Eye. A pink dress. "Just because you're evil on the inside doesn't mean you can't be pretty on the outside!" She...she would save me, wouldn't she? She would take me to her home and...bake me into a pie. But still. Only evil will reach for me.
Unbidden, a fantasy appears. I lie in a pool of my own blood, sobbing helplessly while Robin, stone-faced, continues cutting open my body, when a pair of red arms break through, lifting me up, as safe as Cyborgs' arms are now.
Yes.
Trigon's warm body holding me. Waking to find myself healed, and my...my father setting me on a throne beside him. A princess. My heart tears open, like wind in a forest. Wantwantwantwant.
Trigon leaning down to speak to me, a smile on his face. Learning to love killing, for him. I...I could learn. If he loved me. If he was kind and healed me when I was sick and-
-Slade's power diving into my body, he wants more, wants to do something else-
-"It's your destiny."-
-No, shut up, I can't block it out, shut UP Slade shut UP SHUT UP SHUTUP-
Disgust overwhelms me.
Weak. I am pathetic. Weak and useless. Wasn't I trained for this? Azarath knew what it was doing. I must follow the plan. I have had a good life, here with the Titans. It was too short, but I do not regret ending it.
My resolve turns to steel.
I will not summon Trigon. I will only let him feel my pain. And I will even wield the knife myself, spread my own legs even if Robin wants it, because I love my friends, I love the world, and I am not evil.
I will fight to my last breath. So I open my mouth to ask. Is it time?
My mouth betrays me.
*TT*TT*TT*
ROBIN
"Wh...where are you taking me?"
She sounds so small. So scared. God, Raven's like a sister to me, especially with our bond. I can almost hear her thoughts. They're so sick and warped.
Slade did this to her. She's been waking up screaming every time she falls asleep. I can be there, hold her until she cries herself out, but I can't punish Slade, and I want to. Oh, god, I want to. I remember when she fell into my arms...
She was half naked. I barely noticed the runes, because the words, "Ready for your...present?" were running through my head. It took Dad three hours to talk me out of finding Slade that night and castrating the bastard myself.
She pretends she's shaken it off, but I know better.
I've screwed up too. I kept talking about wanting to destroy the gem. I'm an idiot! I was threatening Raven, but I could never, ever hurt her, and I...I'm not sure if she knows that. She's told me Azarath's plans for her.
I put Azarath on my list of 'people I want to punch in the face'.
I failed. Raven's like the sister I always wanted, but I failed her. I couldn't protect her from Slade, or from today. I should've known what was going on! She can't cook, she hates 'fun' things...but she loves us. She wanted a day with us. I think she wanted a whole life with us, compressed into one day.
I want to take her from Cyborg's arms and hold her and never let go, but I'd probably trip and just give myself a black eye.
Instead I smile. Don't worry, sis. I have a plan.
Nobody will ever hurt you again.