Come to me. It is your fate. It's the destiny of your blood.
These words had echoed in my mind for months. Almost like a meditation. Almost enough to make a man go mad. But then again, maybe I was.
The voice understood me in a way no one else did. He understood my rage, my conflict. He understood that I was the grandson of Anakin Skywalker and the son of Han Solo. Calm was not in my nature. Luke didn't understand that and never would. He kept telling me The Force was peace, connection, and fluidity. For me, The Force was passion and fire. It was a boiling geyser, not a tranquil lake. I would never be the heir apparent Luke wanted for his New Jedi Order. I was not what I should be.
Each day the voice grew stronger, and each day it became harder to hide the conflict. And each day, Luke watched me closer. It became unbearable, but I lacked the conviction to do anything about it.
Night after night, the Supreme Leader came to me in my dreams. He was encouraging where Luke was critical. He didn't chide when my feelings ran strong; he fueled them. He showed me what it was to have power, and I thrived. I embraced it until it was impossible to hide it from Luke who became more and more suspicious. Then, finally, he acted.
The hum of his lightsaber woke me out of my sleep. I turned my head to see his face illuminated in the vibrant green. The face wasn't that of my uncle. It was the face of a Jedi Master who was resolved, and it terrified me.
You know what you have to do, Young Solo. It's time to fulfill your destiny. He will kill you. He fears you. Do it, now.
This was it. There was no other option. The gate opened and my rage at him flowed freely. He had betrayed me. My own uncle, my teacher. I'd never felt so powerful. The walls around us reacted to my strength and started to crumble. As the ceiling fell over him, Luke's face changed. For a brief moment, I saw the face of the man who'd float me around the room and sneak me treats right underneath my mother's nose. Then, right as he disappeared under the rubble, it changed again. He looked at me like a traitor. I betrayed you, Uncle? No. You betrayed me. You failed me. You could never just let me be. You had to try and turn me golden.
You must destroy it all. That's the only way you can be free, my apprentice.
The Supreme Leader's voice was so strong that I didn't even try to block it out any more. I didn't question it; I just acted. The others joined, and the Temple burned. I burned, and I reveled in it.
Come to me.
We did as we were instructed.
Later, the Supreme Leader called me to him. I'd seen holos of him before, but none prepared me for the real life… creature. The putty-like skin, the misaligned face, the scars and gouges. Looking at him was painful, but I found neither could I look away. It's conceivable he may have been human once, but now it was nearly impossible to say. Then he spoke. That voice was the same as from my dreams and I was comforted.
"Young Solo," he began, but I cut him off boldly.
"Not Solo, Master. I don't own that name anymore. It belongs to an absent man. An insect. I don't wish for it to be any part of me."
A wry smile spread across his grisly face. "You wish a new name then, my apprentice?"
"Yes, Master," I acknowledged, "One of your choosing. You have given me this new life, so it seems only right you name me."
His mouth spread in an even larger gash across his face. That sight would make weaker men faint with fear and disgust.
"Very well," he agreed. "I shall think on it. Now is the time to begin your true training. I will open your mind to powers you've only dreamt of. And I know your dreams, my apprentice. Oh yes, I know them…"
"What of the others, Master?" I pressed.
"The others?"
"The others that came with me from the Temple. They are ready to serve, Master."
"And serve they shall. But you, Grandson of Vader, are special. You have been destined to walk after him and fulfill his purpose in the darkness. The others will have their uses, but they are inconsequential. Walk with me."
He led me across the observation deck. Down below were hundreds of troopers in their blinding armor standing against the gleaming black deck. All in perfect order.
"What do you think, my young apprentice?"
"It's all very… monochromatic, Master."
He smiled at me again.
"You'll adjust to it in time. I believe you'll even find that it becomes comforting. They fade into the background as nothing. Your mind becomes free to focus on more important things. Now come."
He led me over to a viewing port on the far side of the deck.
"What do you see?"
"An asteroid field."
"Look further. Feel further."
I reached out through The Force, and it almost brought me to my knees. The raw pain, suffering, and terror washed through me like a supernova.
"What happened here, Master?" I gasped out as I tried to shut out the screams that echoed through The Force.
His face stayed impassive as he stared out of the port.
"Power happened here. This is the Alderaan system."
I could not mask my reaction. I could mask very little from the Supreme Leader.
"Ah, good, you know it."
"Yes, this is where... " I trailed off not being able to continue. I'd heard the story before, but that's all it had seemed, a story. Now, hearing all of those cries of the doomed, it was too real.
"Block them out, my apprentice. They are nothing. They were a means to an end and not worthy of your notice. The power they were sacrificed for is your grandfather's legacy. He was too weak to hold onto it and fulfill his potential, but you are different. With me to guide you, you will be strong where he was weak. You will be unconquerable. The worlds will bow to you."
The picture he painted was captivating. As he spoke, the unrest he'd planted in me bloomed into a raging hunger. I craved that power even more than a starving man craves food. Instead of trying to shut them out, I let the screams in. Now, instead of weakening me, I drew strength from them. To hold that kind of power in my hand was… intoxicating.
"You want it. I can feel it in you."
"Yes," I admitted freely.
"Good," he replied, "Good." After a pause, he said slowly. "Ren. Kylo Ren. That is your name now. It is a strong name. One that the galaxy will fear."
"Kylo Ren," I repeated softly testing out the new moniker. It felt foreign on my tongue, but I could taste the power in it. Yes, that was who I would become. "Kylo Ren," I repeated once more with more certainty as I gazed out onto the broken shards of my mother's childhood.
As I fell, a struggle began to take place. Through my training, my biggest adversary came from an unexpected source. My lightsaber. More specifically, the crystal. The kyber and I had always been in harmony, effortless. As my darkness grew, it fought. Almost as if it were fighting for its life. I suppose it was. According to the Jedi texts, kybers were living, almost sentient. I couldn't say I disagreed. Then I remembered a section I had read one day in secret. A section of the texts that Luke had always seemed to gloss over when we spoke. Jedi tuned to the crystal, but it could work to the contrary. A force sensitive could force the crystal to his own desires.
I began my work.
It was long and strenuous. The kyber's will was not easily broken. With the Supreme Leader's permission I cloistered myself away. This was a marathon fight. Hours turned into days. I needed no food, water, sleep… nothing of basic human necessity. I lived in The Force. Then finally, blessedly, it died. I felt its life slip away into mindless obedience. Slowly, a crimson drop appeared in the very center. It spread like an infection, but it was beautiful. It sparkled and pulsed. In my hand, it glowed and pulsed in time with my own heartbeat.
Though it was my slave, it did have one demand of me. A new throne. The old saber housing wasn't worthy of my power. I started to think. To create. The Supreme Leader had created a new order for me. He had created me Master of the Knights of Ren. We would not be like the Jedi Knights. We would be like the Crusader Knights of the ancient legends. Those legendary warriors who fought without mercy. Who fought for their religion with a single minded ferocity. Who fought for power over those less than they.
My new creation flamed to life before me after a time, and it was glorious. A true weapon fit to the darkness.
"I have a gift for you."
The Supreme Leader motioned, and the Praetorian Guard presented a covered tray. The Supreme Leader would raise you high if you were in his favor, but gifts, well, I don't think I'd ever seen this happen.
"What have I done to deserve this, Master? I am humbled," I replied bowing low.
"You'll find that it's not really mine to give at all. It is actually yours to begin with; I've only retrieved it for you. A family heirloom you might say."
I'll admit, my curiosity was raging. I slowly raised the cover from the tray. There sitting on a scarlet velvet lining was the Mask of Vader. It was twisted, beaten, dull, and burned, but there it was. Unmistakable. The face of the legend.
"You are pleased, Kylo Ren?"
"Yes, Master," I replied still in awe, "But how did you come by it?"
"Ah, yes, I thought you may be curious. Discarded, buried in the forests of Endor. But, with the right persuasion, it wasn't difficult to acquire."
"Thank you, Master," I breathed as I picked it up. This was my inheritance. The legacy of Darth Vader.
I began to commune with the mask. Speaking to my grandfather. I could almost hear him reply. I have to admit that I was jealous. Luke had said that Anakin Skywalker had found his way into The Force and had appeared to him as a phantom along Jedi Masters. But then again, was that really true? How much of what Luke said could really be trusted? He wanted too many things to remain hidden. Too much restriction and secrecy. And who's to know what really happened between them on the Death Star? Luke's was the only word to go by. The only survivor. History is written by the survivors, not necessarily the truth.
It didn't make sense. Why would Darth Vader rise up against the Emperor? Luke said he had left the darkness. But why?
He told this romantic story of Vader finding the light and saving the galaxy and his son. His redemption. I think something else happened. Vader wanted control for himself. He wanted to build his own empire with his son. To create a dynasty. There was no light left in Vader. After so long in the darkness, how could there be?
Darth Vader had needed the mask to survive, yes, but it held another more important purpose. It separated him from what he once was. People knew the face of Anakin Skywalker. He had to leave that behind to achieve his potential. I must do the same.
People know the face of Ben Solo. Being the son of the Rebellion's heroes was a noose that had been around my neck since birth. Ben Solo must die to the galaxy. The rebels must know their future would end with Leia Organa and Han Solo. Their only son must die. There would be no "redemption".
Just as with my lightsaber, I set to work. I was inspired by the mask and became frenzied in my creating. After many fails, I finally had it. It was perfect. It was the face of Kylo Ren. I slid it over my head for the first time, and as it settled down around my shoulders, Ben Solo took his last breath.