Author: Cate
Summary: A one-shot Rexis fic, set seven years in the future. Sometimes, even people who shouldn't deserve a second chance can get one.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters and am in no way affiliated with ABC or General Mobspitzzzzzz.
Author's Note: Please review. It gives me a happy.
Seven years' bad luck. That was the price for breaking a mirror, wasn't it? Ric Lansing had never been superstitious. He walked under ladders, crossed paths with black cats, and breathed freely around graveyards. All that changed when she left. He knew he'd pushed his luck too far. He'd broken his mirror, and he would have to pay dearly.
That mirror, of course, was Alexis Davis. The woman he'd loved; the wife he'd betrayed. He'd promised to help her fight for her daughter and then he'd turned on them both, unexpectedly and unforgiveably. His obsession with gaining his brother's approval had blinded him to the people who were truly most important in his life, and as a result he had lost everything.
Alexis had fled with Kristina once it became apparent that Ric was firmly on his brother's side, that no amount of reason was going to keep her daughter safe. He didn't blame her; he had forced her hand. How could he have prioritized his criminal half-brother over a little girl's safety? It cost him his wife and step-daughter, and his own child as well. And the prize he had sought above all else, his twisted brother's love, had eluded him all the while. Now Sonny was dead, and good riddance. Ric didn't miss him. He was too busy missing Alexis, and Kristina, and the child he had deprived himself of the opportunity to know. All he had of his daughter was the hospital picture which had served as a birth announcement, imprinted with the words "Stefanie Davis Lansing, October 18 2005, 6 lbs 8 oz" below the seraphic face of his newborn child. He had received the picture in the mail on what he soon learned was his baby's first birthday.
He knew his daughter was no longer a baby, hadn't been in the six years since he'd first gotten the photo, but he still carried it in his wallet, along with a snapshot of himself with Kristina and Alexis, taken in happier times. Both pictures were worn and faded from use, the second moreso because he'd had it longer. He'd take them both out whenever he had a spare moment, just to look with wonder at the family he'd thrown away. He never expected to see them again. He could have looked for them; Alexis had remained in touch with several of her friends in Port Charles, he could have easily gone to them and pleaded his case, but he never did. He felt he didn't deserve a second chance, and he wouldn't make things harder on Alexis by asking for one. There was no contact between husband and wife for seven long, torturous years.
He'd dreamed of seeing his wife and children many times over the years, but he'd never once thought it could really happen. Certainly not this way; a beautiful, curly-haired girl running up to him in an airport terminal. "Daddy!" she exclaimed, and then, "Daddy? Don't you recognize me?"
Of course he did. He'd know her anywhere, the angel, looking so grown up at ten years old, and so much like her mother. He almost reached out to touch her, thinking he was dreaming, but then he heard a voice and knew at once he wasn't.
"Kristina," Alexis called softly, an ethereal quality to her voice, as if she wasn't conciously aware of what she was saying. "I asked you to stay with me and your sister."
"But, Mommy," the little girl pouted, "Look. Daddy's here."
"That's right, sweetheart, I am," kneeling down to wrap his arms around her. The child beamed up at him before eagerly enfolding herself in his embrace. "I've missed you so much," he whispered into her mass of brown curls. "All of you." He released her, somewhat reluctantly, to glance over at his wife... And at the little girl hovering timidly by her side.
"Stef, come here," Kristina beckoned, taking her little sister by the hand.
"It's alright, sweetheart, go ahead," Alexis encouraged after having quickly composed herself, hesitantly making eye contact with Ric to assure him that it was indeed okay. "This is your daddy, honey," she explained, as she gradually stepped forward behind her small daughter. Once they'd reached Ric and Kristina, she too kneeled down to be on the children's level, with the unintended result of being only inches from her estranged husband's face. "Ric," she continued with the introduction, "This is Stefanie... Our daughter."
There was, of course, much that Ric wanted to say to his wife. He longed to tell her how he'd ached for her, for their children; how he'd always held out hope that she still loved him, impossible as he knew that would be after all he'd done, because God knows he'd never stopped loving her; and finally, he wanted to make her understand how sorry he was for the choices he made, and furthermore, how much it killed him to know that "sorry" would never come remotely close to being enough. He managed to put all that aside, however, at least for the moment, to focus on the children. He knew from painful experience that there was nothing more important.
"Hi, Stefanie," he choked out, his voice quavering with emotion as he looked into the face of his firstborn for the first time. She resembled him, he was pleased to note, with her dark, silky-straight hair and cautious smile. Her soulful brown eyes and turned-up nose, on the other hand, were all Alexis, and the combination was more stunning than he ever could have imagined.
"Hi," the seven-year-old replied, tilting her head as she gazed at him. Shyly, she reached up one hand to smooth down a stray, graying lock of his hair. "You look like your picture," she informed him.
Ric grinned. "Yeah? Well, you don't look very much like your picture anymore." He pulled out his wallet, and out fell the two worn and faded photographs. "See?" he showed her, as Alexis and Kristina looked on, too. "That one's you, and there's your Mommy and your big sister."
Alexis took in the deteriorating state of the pictures silently, not moving until she felt Ric's eyes upon her. She looked up; he held her gaze for a moment, then she wavered. "Why don't we take this someplace else?" she suggested, getting up. "We've all got a lot of catching up to do, and an airport terminal might not be the most comfortable place to do it - unless you've got a plane to catch."
"No," he replied emphatically, only half lying. Ten minutes ago he had a plane to catch, but now? No way in hell was he going anywhere that Alexis wasn't. "I've got all the time in the world," he assured her. "Where are we headed?"
"The Lady Jane," she told him, referring to the former MetroCourt, a hotel owned by her best friend, Jax, who'd wasted no time in renaming it after his mother once his adulterous wife had left town. Ric had inferred from the Alaskan-postmarked envelope containing Stefanie's baby picture all those years ago that it was Jax's family that Alexis was staying with, or at least she had been at the time. Ric knew he had no right to be jealous, and he tried hard to be grateful that someone was taking care of his family when he'd been too much of a jackass to do it himself, but he'd been unable to stop himself from keeping a closer eye on the other man's movements after Jax and Courtney's marriage broke up, fearful of exactly how close his relationship with Ric's wife had been in the past, and how close it might grow in the future. He forced himself to put aside those irrational feelings, however, and agreed to meet Alexis at the hotel.
He offered to get their things from Baggage Claim for them, and she graciously accepted, giving them both time to collect themselves. He was sure that their encounter was as much a surprise to her as it was to him - the expression on her face when Kristina first ran up to him had made that perfectly clear - but what he couldn't figure out was, had she meant to see him eventually? He held on to a glimmer of hope that said she had. After all, he reasoned, she was staying in Port Charles. She had to have known they'd run into each other at some point. Hadn't she?
Kristina certainly hadn't seemed surprised to see him. And Stefanie... Sweet, shy little Stefanie had said herself that she'd seen his picture. Alexis must have been the one to show it to her. Who else would? He didn't dare hope that this meant Alexis still loved him. But perhaps she didn't hate him, either...
He drove to the hotel on autopilot, unable to think of anything outside his family. Just seeing them made him feel... Well, not quite whole again, but close. Certainly better than the shell of man he'd been without them. He made up his mind as he pulled into the hotel parking lot: He would not, no, could not live another day without even trying to be near them. He'd spend the rest of this life and whatever comes next atoning for his sins, but it would be damn well worth it. He loved Alexis more than anything in this world, and it was far past time that she knew it.
She met him in the lobby, standing alone, looking as perfect and pulled-together as ever, though her eyes were downcast and melancholy. Still, he thought her beautiful, and told her so, reaching out to run his fingers through her soft, dark hair. She stiffened, and he dropped his hand, feeling ashamed. Of course she wouldn't want him to touch her. He'd lost that privelidge seven years ago, and for all he knew, he'd never get it back.
"The girls are at the park with Jax," she said quietly. "They wanted to wait here for you, but I wanted us to talk first. What happened at the airport... That wasn't how I wanted it to happen, I'm sorry."
Ric was speechless for a moment. One mystery was solved: she had intended to see him again. But now she was apologizing to him? He shook his head. "Please don't ever say you're sorry to me, Alexis. We both know there's nothing you could possibly do that could top what I did to you and our children. I am sorry for that, and I'd say it every day if I thought it was enough."
She nodded wearily. "Let's just go upstairs, okay?" Not wanting to make her any more uncomfortable, Ric boarded the elevator with her wordlessly, keeping a respectful distance. He waited for her to be the one to break the silence, and once they reached her hotel suite, she did with a simple, "Sit."
He complied, arranging himself on the small couch in the center of the room, leaving a large, overstuffed chair for her. To his surprise, she sat down next to him on the couch instead, although as far apart as possible.
"You know," she began thoughtfully, "I never thought I'd be this calm when I saw you again. I always imagined I'd be screaming, fighting, cursing your name. Don't misunderstand me; I'm still angry, but I don't hate you, and I think I wanted to."
"Why?" he asked, without being entirely sure that he wanted to hear the answer.
She smiled weakly. "Isn't it obvious? Hating you would mean I didn't love you anymore, and if I didn't love you, I wouldn't have to miss you so damn much, or think about you all the time..."
"I think about you all the time, too," he interrupted in a gentle murmur.
"...Or keep asking myself if I was right to leave you, or if you would have changed when our child was born, or if you'd changed since, or..." She gave up, sighing in exasperation.
"So," he said, "You still love me?" She nodded, and he smiled despite himself. "That's good. Because I love you. I know I lost sight of it in the past, but I promise you, I never will again. You were right, you know. You were right to leave me, and you were right that I've changed. I don't deserve you, Alexis, but I want to try to. Please give me that chance."
As he spoke, his hands found their way to her again, and though he tried to act as though nothing happened, he noticed with disappointment how she shrank away from his touch. When he finished speaking, she shook her head, turning her body to face him. "I want to," she told him, "You can't possibly know how much. I want to be able to trust you again, Ric, but I need you to help me do that."
"I'll do anything," he assured her, and they both knew that he meant it.
"I -" she faltered, but recovered quickly - "I need for us to take things slowly. I want the girls to get to know you, but I need to know that they're safe."
"Sonny's been dead for years," he reminded her, but she held up a hand to silence him.
"I know," she said, "But that's not the kind of 'safe' I'm talking about. I don't want to let them get close to you only for you to find something else you think is more important again. I don't want them to get hurt." Then, in a small voice, she added, "I don't want to get hurt again, either."
He nodded. "I understand. You have every right to feel the way you do, and I'll leave this entirely in your control, but there's something I need you to know first. I have spent every waking moment of the last seven years in agony - and mind you, I haven't slept much. I lost the three most important, most amazing people in the universe, and it was nobody's damn fault but my own. I'll move heaven, hell, and earth to win you back, Alexis, and if you don't believe me, just wait."
"I will," she replied with a small smile, "And I want you to."
Ric looked confused. "Want me to what? Move heaven, hell, and earth?"
"No," she corrected, almost laughing at the thought. "Win me back."
"Oh," he said stupidly as they both rose to their feet. Grinning, he promised, "I will."
Discussion closed for now, they both headed for the door, feeling drained but also relieved. Unconciously, Ric's hand made its way to Alexis' face again, hungry for the feel of warm, soft skin it had so long been deprived of. This time, she didn't flinch, and he took note of that. It wasn't everything, he knew, but it was a good start.