Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter or any characters relating to him. No
profit is being made off this.
Hogwarts Secret Service
or
Why Luna would be good at Blackmail
"Obladi, Oblada, Life goes on." She said to herself as she walked down the hall, it was the begining of her third year at Hogwarts, and her class mates didn't cease to baffle her, as yet any way. Weird, they had the NERVE to call HER weird, when it was they who thought it fun to hide OTHER peoples belongings, and to drool over silly muggle movie stars whom they would never in they're entire life meet, and still they called HER weird.
She shook her head at the thought of this, most people, her classmates that is, found it enough to go through life behind a blindfold, the blindfold of the so called NORMAL, never seeing the world for anything more, never questioning the infinite possibilities, I mean look at them, they did magic, things impossible to muggles, and yet, when placed in front of something remotely different, take a Crumpled Horn Snorkak for example, they dismissed it as weird and unheard of, as silly dreams. Ha!! that's exactly what muggles think of our kind , she thought, children's tales, silly dreams, couldn't they stop to think, that if muggles thought THEM silly dreams and yet they existed, couldn't there be the slightest possibility that what THEY dismissed as silly dreams could ALSO exist????
AH!! what was the use of it, they never listened to her anyway, they would just keep laughing, so it was better to stay out of they're way, you know out of sight out of mind, but she couldn't be out of sight ever, she was to unique, or so her father told her. Well whatever it was she was content on being herself, she thought she was just fine and dandy and not weird in the slightest! Sure, being called a freak, and a weirdo, where not her top favorite things, and yes, having a father who loved to investigate the so called paranormal lead for an interesting life, and add to that the loss of her mother at such a young age, still she was optimistic, she could of course have it much worse, she could have ended up being a spoiled rotten MALFOY with that horrid albino hair, not ever knowing what it was like to do things for herself, or she could have been like Hermione, muggle born (well that wasn't so bad) with her frizzy head always stuck in a book, so much so that she could never realize what she had in front of her, gosh she just made her want to kick her sometimes, I mean to live in a book all the time, and never realizing the marvels biscuit boy that drooled over her, ha-ha biscuit boy, he WAS delicious , she had for a few weeks during her 2nd year pondered about perusing the love of a cretin Ronald Weasly, whom to her was so much more drool worthy than those muggle stars, not only that he was also brave, and some where deep down sort of intelligent, but he had one flaw, Hermione, she soon realized that he was crazy for her, but alas poor Hermione was to busy READING about love lives to take any notice of her own, oh how she wanted to kick her and make her see reason, but then again Ron wasn't helping much either, trying to hide his affections, as if it where Hermione's job to figure it out, of course he didn't succeed much in hiding them, everyone and there granny knew he fancied her, well except her, how could people be so clueless!!!
Take Ron's sister Ginny, well Ginny was, or is , one of her best friends, if not the only one, but she seems to have adopted some of Ron's cluelessnes , she goes through life crying over Harry Potter and the fact that he basically has no more interest in her than that of being good friends, while she has a whole line of boys fawning, stalking, and drooling over her, not to mention a certain slimy Slitheryn, but that was her opinion, and yet she has the audacity to say that no one in this world likes her!!!! PLEASE WOMAN!!! Grow a brain, get some glasses, and buy a clue!!!! She felt like telling her, of course she wouldn't, cause she was not a meddler, she was merely an observer. Maybe all that time she spent around her father's investigators and reporters had left a mark on her, because she had the ability to know almost everything that was going on around her, while everyone else remained clueless.
To any other teenage girl this sort of power would have made her want to gossip, or use the information for personal gain, but no not her, not Luna Lenora LoveGood, no sir, she thought that peoples personal business should stay that way, personal, but that didn't stop her from finding out about it!!! Take Filch for an example, he loved his cat, but did any one know why???? He he she did, and lets just say it was not a pretty picture and it was also illegal in most of the country, ha-ha talk about bestiality!!!! And McGonagall, ohhh if she was ever interested in going into black mail she would be the richest witch in the world! lets just say that a cetin Miss. Minerva, was holding certain late night rendezvous with a certain headmaster, ooohh talk about scary, they where OLD you would think they would have it out of they're system by now!!!!
Gosh she could go on for days recalling all the interesting tales that happened within Hogwarts, that no one ever knew about, people where soooo blind!!!!
Just the other day, she had caught Malfoy in an empty class room, with non other than Pansy Parkinson, well sure it was common knowledge throughout the school that she loved him, and that he loved no one but himself, but well lets just say that that day was interesting, who would have thought that Malfoy indeed had feelings!!! The conversation had gone like this:
"Pansy for the HUNDREDTH time leave me the hell alone, just bugger off will you!!!!"
"But Drakey, I love you, I've told you that!!! Please Please tell me why won't you even consider me??? I mean I'm not ugly, and I'm not a muggle..."
"God woman, have you no self respect!!!! When will you learn that a way to a man' heart is not by groveling or begging, you look like a slut throwing yourself at me."
"But I thought you liked it?"
"Maybe the first time it was fun, but if you would stop and listen to me instead of going on and on and on, you would have noticed that my heart....."
"YOU have a heart??? Ha! Give me a break!!"
"Listen woman, yes I have a heart, I may be cold but I'm not dead you know, and my heart belongs to some one else, so go and stalk some other loser, I'm sure half the male population is looking for a good fuck, that is if you haven't fucked them already."
"Why you big pompous jerk!!! How dare you talk to me like that!!!!?"
"You know the saying, act as you wish to be treated, and since your acting like a whore maybe I should treat you like one."
"You bastard! Why did I ever possibly think I could love you!!! Your heart, taken, Ha!! not like there is much to your heart, or to you for that matter, and I bet I know who took what little heart you have, It was that Weasly girl wasn't it!!! Hahahaha, imagine the look on the Slytherins faces when they find out the all powerful Malfoy has feelings for a WEASLY, hahaha it will be the end of you!"
God this was better than pay per view!!!
"Look here Pansy..." he put his hand around her neck and backed her against the wall "Who I can or cannot love is no ones business but mine, and so what if I love a Weasley, at least she's not a slut who goes prancing around jumping into blokes beds when theyre not looking, and you know she is soooo much more prettier than you, but listen to me and listen well, one word about this to any one and it will be your head!!!! You know I can arrange a special torture for you and not be blamed so you better watch who your messing with."
He stomped out of the room nearly colliding with her started to walk, no sense in sticking around, show was over. Who in they're wildest dreams could have ever thought that Malfoy of all people would be in love with Ginny!!!! God this was so incredible, but she would not tell what good was it to her; it was enough for her that she knew, maybe some day she would write a book, The Dangerous and Troubled Youth of Hogwarts, based on true stories. No doubt it would sell well!!
And so she spent her days being laughed at for daring to not hide her true self, while everyone else wandered around living double lives, it was interesting to watch them to be honest, she was like the only spectator in a theater watching a very twisted play unfold, with so many interesting characters, but most interesting to her was Harry Potter, the boy who lived, he had all this fame and yet he took no note of it, but then again who would want to have the fame if you had to take all the pressure and terror that went along with it, she felt bad for him, she wished she could comfort him, but that was not her job, no her job was to distance herself from every one as much as possible, maybe that way they would never succeed in hurting her.
And so she went on down the hall wondering what sort of secret she would stumble on today, Luna LoveGood, Hogwarts very own Secret Service
Hogwarts Secret Service
or
Why Luna would be good at Blackmail
"Obladi, Oblada, Life goes on." She said to herself as she walked down the hall, it was the begining of her third year at Hogwarts, and her class mates didn't cease to baffle her, as yet any way. Weird, they had the NERVE to call HER weird, when it was they who thought it fun to hide OTHER peoples belongings, and to drool over silly muggle movie stars whom they would never in they're entire life meet, and still they called HER weird.
She shook her head at the thought of this, most people, her classmates that is, found it enough to go through life behind a blindfold, the blindfold of the so called NORMAL, never seeing the world for anything more, never questioning the infinite possibilities, I mean look at them, they did magic, things impossible to muggles, and yet, when placed in front of something remotely different, take a Crumpled Horn Snorkak for example, they dismissed it as weird and unheard of, as silly dreams. Ha!! that's exactly what muggles think of our kind , she thought, children's tales, silly dreams, couldn't they stop to think, that if muggles thought THEM silly dreams and yet they existed, couldn't there be the slightest possibility that what THEY dismissed as silly dreams could ALSO exist????
AH!! what was the use of it, they never listened to her anyway, they would just keep laughing, so it was better to stay out of they're way, you know out of sight out of mind, but she couldn't be out of sight ever, she was to unique, or so her father told her. Well whatever it was she was content on being herself, she thought she was just fine and dandy and not weird in the slightest! Sure, being called a freak, and a weirdo, where not her top favorite things, and yes, having a father who loved to investigate the so called paranormal lead for an interesting life, and add to that the loss of her mother at such a young age, still she was optimistic, she could of course have it much worse, she could have ended up being a spoiled rotten MALFOY with that horrid albino hair, not ever knowing what it was like to do things for herself, or she could have been like Hermione, muggle born (well that wasn't so bad) with her frizzy head always stuck in a book, so much so that she could never realize what she had in front of her, gosh she just made her want to kick her sometimes, I mean to live in a book all the time, and never realizing the marvels biscuit boy that drooled over her, ha-ha biscuit boy, he WAS delicious , she had for a few weeks during her 2nd year pondered about perusing the love of a cretin Ronald Weasly, whom to her was so much more drool worthy than those muggle stars, not only that he was also brave, and some where deep down sort of intelligent, but he had one flaw, Hermione, she soon realized that he was crazy for her, but alas poor Hermione was to busy READING about love lives to take any notice of her own, oh how she wanted to kick her and make her see reason, but then again Ron wasn't helping much either, trying to hide his affections, as if it where Hermione's job to figure it out, of course he didn't succeed much in hiding them, everyone and there granny knew he fancied her, well except her, how could people be so clueless!!!
Take Ron's sister Ginny, well Ginny was, or is , one of her best friends, if not the only one, but she seems to have adopted some of Ron's cluelessnes , she goes through life crying over Harry Potter and the fact that he basically has no more interest in her than that of being good friends, while she has a whole line of boys fawning, stalking, and drooling over her, not to mention a certain slimy Slitheryn, but that was her opinion, and yet she has the audacity to say that no one in this world likes her!!!! PLEASE WOMAN!!! Grow a brain, get some glasses, and buy a clue!!!! She felt like telling her, of course she wouldn't, cause she was not a meddler, she was merely an observer. Maybe all that time she spent around her father's investigators and reporters had left a mark on her, because she had the ability to know almost everything that was going on around her, while everyone else remained clueless.
To any other teenage girl this sort of power would have made her want to gossip, or use the information for personal gain, but no not her, not Luna Lenora LoveGood, no sir, she thought that peoples personal business should stay that way, personal, but that didn't stop her from finding out about it!!! Take Filch for an example, he loved his cat, but did any one know why???? He he she did, and lets just say it was not a pretty picture and it was also illegal in most of the country, ha-ha talk about bestiality!!!! And McGonagall, ohhh if she was ever interested in going into black mail she would be the richest witch in the world! lets just say that a cetin Miss. Minerva, was holding certain late night rendezvous with a certain headmaster, ooohh talk about scary, they where OLD you would think they would have it out of they're system by now!!!!
Gosh she could go on for days recalling all the interesting tales that happened within Hogwarts, that no one ever knew about, people where soooo blind!!!!
Just the other day, she had caught Malfoy in an empty class room, with non other than Pansy Parkinson, well sure it was common knowledge throughout the school that she loved him, and that he loved no one but himself, but well lets just say that that day was interesting, who would have thought that Malfoy indeed had feelings!!! The conversation had gone like this:
"Pansy for the HUNDREDTH time leave me the hell alone, just bugger off will you!!!!"
"But Drakey, I love you, I've told you that!!! Please Please tell me why won't you even consider me??? I mean I'm not ugly, and I'm not a muggle..."
"God woman, have you no self respect!!!! When will you learn that a way to a man' heart is not by groveling or begging, you look like a slut throwing yourself at me."
"But I thought you liked it?"
"Maybe the first time it was fun, but if you would stop and listen to me instead of going on and on and on, you would have noticed that my heart....."
"YOU have a heart??? Ha! Give me a break!!"
"Listen woman, yes I have a heart, I may be cold but I'm not dead you know, and my heart belongs to some one else, so go and stalk some other loser, I'm sure half the male population is looking for a good fuck, that is if you haven't fucked them already."
"Why you big pompous jerk!!! How dare you talk to me like that!!!!?"
"You know the saying, act as you wish to be treated, and since your acting like a whore maybe I should treat you like one."
"You bastard! Why did I ever possibly think I could love you!!! Your heart, taken, Ha!! not like there is much to your heart, or to you for that matter, and I bet I know who took what little heart you have, It was that Weasly girl wasn't it!!! Hahahaha, imagine the look on the Slytherins faces when they find out the all powerful Malfoy has feelings for a WEASLY, hahaha it will be the end of you!"
God this was better than pay per view!!!
"Look here Pansy..." he put his hand around her neck and backed her against the wall "Who I can or cannot love is no ones business but mine, and so what if I love a Weasley, at least she's not a slut who goes prancing around jumping into blokes beds when theyre not looking, and you know she is soooo much more prettier than you, but listen to me and listen well, one word about this to any one and it will be your head!!!! You know I can arrange a special torture for you and not be blamed so you better watch who your messing with."
He stomped out of the room nearly colliding with her started to walk, no sense in sticking around, show was over. Who in they're wildest dreams could have ever thought that Malfoy of all people would be in love with Ginny!!!! God this was so incredible, but she would not tell what good was it to her; it was enough for her that she knew, maybe some day she would write a book, The Dangerous and Troubled Youth of Hogwarts, based on true stories. No doubt it would sell well!!
And so she spent her days being laughed at for daring to not hide her true self, while everyone else wandered around living double lives, it was interesting to watch them to be honest, she was like the only spectator in a theater watching a very twisted play unfold, with so many interesting characters, but most interesting to her was Harry Potter, the boy who lived, he had all this fame and yet he took no note of it, but then again who would want to have the fame if you had to take all the pressure and terror that went along with it, she felt bad for him, she wished she could comfort him, but that was not her job, no her job was to distance herself from every one as much as possible, maybe that way they would never succeed in hurting her.
And so she went on down the hall wondering what sort of secret she would stumble on today, Luna LoveGood, Hogwarts very own Secret Service