A/N: This is my first attempt at fan fiction, and my first creative writing in over twenty years. A special Thank You to those who encouraged me to publish, and in particular to the one who read this in advance and was generous in her time and praise. I only hope I do fair service to this wonderful couple.

I have no ownership of these characters. This is for entertainment purposes only.

The Second Thought Realization

Leonard and Penny sat together on the couch, a comfortable silence between the two as they watched the movie together. A month ago, they had been on their way to Las Vegas, planning a speedy wedding and celebrating together afterwards over a long weekend. Then came Leonard's admission – an alcohol-infused indiscretion aboard the North Sea ship two years prior – no more than a kiss but enough to place doubt in both hearts. They nearly made it to the chapel before the heart-to-heart discussion turned them around. Time had since passed, and trust returned. Now, they were taking a break from planning the formal ceremony with friends and family. The one they both wanted from the beginning.

Down the hall in a bedroom a stark contrast loomed against the peace of the living room. It had been a month to the day that Amy had told Sheldon she needed time to step back and reconsider their relationship. It rained all that June 25th, and Sheldon felt the storm echoing his anguish. He had never before understood tales of such a sensation – after all, Sheldon had nearly never lost against anyone in matters of the mind. This night, Sheldon grasped the depth of this loss in his heart.

Shortly after the night Amy said "Goodbye," Sheldon moved the small, dark blue box from his desk in the living room to the drawer in the bedside table in his room. The Gollum statue continued to stand guard over its contents from the table above. Sheldon nodded in respect to the statue, opened the drawer, and removed the box. He gently opened the box, and stared at its contents. The diamond solitaire flashed brilliantly up at him…

Sheldon asked his Meemaw for the ring this past Christmas, after Amy gave him the box of Christmas cookies. The ones his Meemaw used to make. The ones Amy made after she called Meemaw to ask for the recipe. Meemaw had promised her ring to Sheldon many years ago, to give to the woman with whom he wanted to share his life. In giving Amy her cookie recipe, Sheldon felt Meemaw silently gave Sheldon her blessing on his choice. Sheldon could never have made the leap forward without it…

Brought back to the present by a bolt of lightning outside his window, Sheldon felt the pain strike him anew. Sheldon's eidetic memory once again returned him to a month ago, on the couch…

Kissing Amy felt so very good, the positive energy allowed Sheldon's mind to run without limits. After breaking the kiss, Sheldon's voice unwittingly summoned the last thing that went through his mind: should he commit to watching The Flash television series?
Amy asked, incredulously, "That's what you're thinking about?"
"I'm thinking about a lot of things," he replied, with a smile.
"Am I in any of them?" she asked, pain and sorrow etched on her face…

Amy felt she was a second thought to him, Sheldon finally realized. How could she possibly feel otherwise? How could he even be thinking about a television show with her in his arms? Sheldon cringed as he reflected on other events where he realized only too late what damage he had done.

Why couldn't he have told Amy the real commitment issue he was wrestling with? The one he was wanting to make to her that very night? Lightning flashed again, and Sheldon doubled over as his breath left him. Once more, his mind returned to the past…

A dear mentor and wise council in flowing Jedi robes extolled from beyond, "Appreciate them, Sheldon…"

Something inside Sheldon finally gave way. Sheldon's back straightened and he drew himself up to full height. He could no longer hide, either in his room or from what he needed to do. If Amy didn't know how he really felt, then he would tell her. He had to try to rectify this situation.

Carefully placing the ring back in the box, and the box back in the drawer, Sheldon inwardly thanked Gollum for his continued protection of the ring. Amy would learn about this Precious later, when the time was right. Sheldon gathered his jacket and bus pants, and flew out the door of his room. Leonard's head jerked up as he heard determined steps coming down the hallway.

"Where are you headed?" Leonard asked.

"I can't do this anymore. I've got to talk to her," Sheldon answered, as he reached the front door and started to open it.

"Wait. You can't just go over there. Amy's asked you for time, and you promised to give her that," Penny advised.

Sheldon opened the door a few inches, paused, and turned to look at his friends. "I need to go to her, Penny. It was a month ago today, and I've already waited too long. I tried to respect her wishes, but I just can't leave it at this. Amy doesn't believe I think about her, except as a second thought. She thinks that, to me, everything else matters before her.

But that's not the truth. Amy needs to know that she's been first for a long time: not only in my thoughts, but in my heart and in my soul. Being without Amy has made me realize that I need to make her understand how much I need her… how much I want her… how much I love her. Our anniversary night, I was going to... well, that's not important now. Right now, it doesn't matter if she takes me back or slams the door in my face. Amy is worth the risk. I have to tell her."

Leonard had decided. "Hang on, I'll get my coat and keys. You can text me when you're done and I'll come back to get you."

Sheldon nodded his agreement. "Be quick."

Sheldon turned back around and threw open the door the rest of the way. A low gasp escaped him, and he stepped slightly backward: Amy stood in front of him, arm part-way raised in preparation to knock on the door. Amy was paler than usual, looking like she hadn't eaten or slept properly in days; rainwater mixed with the tears running down her face in a torrent. In spite of all, she was the most beautiful thing Sheldon had seen in the last month.

And those deep emerald eyes, the same ones that had been so dimmed the last time he saw them, now both shone with the light he had grown to love and burned with a fire Sheldon had never seen before. Sheldon's heart sang at the renewed promise they showed him. His Amy – not the seemingly hollow shell that spoke to him on Skype a month ago, but the brilliant mind and the undefeatable soul – she was back!

It took every ounce of strength Sheldon had not to pull her into his arms and never let her go. But he was determined: this had to be Amy's choice.

Amy slowly lowered her arm, and managed a small smile through her tears. She stepped forward warily, cautious of a negative reaction from Sheldon. Seeing instead only love and hope in his face, Amy reached her arms around him and pulled him in. Sheldon breathed for the first time in what seemed forever when he leaned down to rest his chin on her head, wrapping her in tight, feeling her heart beat in time with his own.

Only his Vulcan ears… or maybe it was his human heart… heard her muffled whisper.

"Sheldon, I think we need to talk."