Chuunin Exams: Neji's a What?!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Kishimoto Masashi does.
A/N This is an edited version, gotta fix the mistakes! ;]
'Dude looks like a lady' – Thoughts
"Neji's NOT gay!" – Talking
I'ma kill ya – Jutsu
~Numa Numa Dance~ – Actions
(~.~)
It was a beautiful sunny day, wispy clouds passing by, the birds chirping, the trees swaying in the light breeze, Naruto and his clones as busty blondes against a Hyuuga (with a stick up his ass)…
…~Blink Blink~…
WAIT WHAT?! Are my eyes deceiving me...? N-oo… he didn't!...
…~Stare~…
Let's start over from the beginning shall we?
(~.~)
"Well now…" Exclaimed the Third Hokage, a man of about 70 years of age (dunno could be higher…can't tell with these old guys…) wearing a red and white robe with a pyramid-shaped hat with the kanji 'Hi' for the land of fire, also decked in white and red. "Let's begin."
This man was Sarutobi Hiruzen, the head of the Sarutobi clan. As he stood in the Kage box, he addressed the crowd in the stadium, "Thanks everyone for coming to the Kohonagakure Chuunin Selection Exam. We will now start the main tournament matches between the eight participants who made it through the preliminaries. Please stay and watch until the end!"
Down on the field stood seven participants for the chuunin exams and the proctor of said exam. The proctor was a bandana wearing and senbon chewing chuunin named Shiranui Genma. The seven contestants were Aburame Shino bug user of Konoha, Nara Shikamaru lazy shadow user of Konoha, Uzumaki Naruto, orange wearing Konoha gennin, Hyuuga Neji fate obsessed gennin of Konoha, Sabaku no Gaara Ichibi Jinchuuriki of Suna, Sabaku no Kankuro puppeteer of Suna, and Sabaku no Temari wind user of Suna.
Before the matches could start the proctor pulled out the fighting list, "Look at this, here are the changes for the fights." The list had the fights as:
1st fight: Uzumaki Naruto vs. Hyuuga Neji
2nd fight: Sabaku no Gaara vs. Uchiha Sasuke
3rd fight: Sabaku no Kankuro vs. Aburame Shino
4th fight: Sabaku no Temari vs. Nara Shikamaru
After looking at the list a question appeared in Naruto's mind. 'Where's Sasuke?' thought the orange-clad gennin and again voicing his question out loud to the Proctor, which he replied "If he isn't here yet he loses by default."
'That ain't good…' thought Naruto, "Well more fights for me!" he grinned while looking at Neji with glacier eyes. 'I wonder what he'd do against my Original Jutsu…? Hmm…Maybe…?' Grinning he thought up a whole new plan to not only humiliate the fate obsessed bitch but to knock him out in two moves!
"Kukukukuku," laughed Naruto smiling eerily like Orochimaru at Neji, scaring the crap out of the other participants. 'Naruto just became even more troublesome,' thought Shikamaru, 'Neji's going to be pranked no doubt. At least it's not me.' ~Sigh~
(~.~)
In the Kage box
'Somebody just stole my persona!' Fumed a snake pedo pretending to be the Kazekage.
(~.~)
"The rules are the same as the preliminaries. You can do anything, if one of you dies, declares forfeit or I declare the winner, the match is over. Now, I want Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Neji on the field and the rest of the participants to go to the waiting room." Declared the proctor.
The rest of the participants left to the waiting room while Neji and Naruto went into their spots on the field for adding space between them for their fight.
(~.~)
In the stands
Hyuuga Hinata and Inuzuka Kiba sat in the stands near the rest of the Konoha 12 consisting of Haruno Sakura, Yamanaka Ino, Akimichi Chouji, & Higurashi Tenten (don't know her real last name) and two chuunin's who were the chuunin examiners and would give their decision who'd become chuunin material named Kamizuki Izumo & Hagane Kotetsu.
"Don't think he'll win against the Hyuuga rookie of the year will he Izumo?" Commented Kotetsu.
"Nah…the only way he'll win is if he does something really out there, like question his orientation." Replied Izumo.
"Right, there is no man that has hair that silky and long & is straight!"
In hearing range Tenten yelled, "Neji is not GAY!"
"We'll see about that…we'll see…" Synchronized the chuunin.
'There's no way Neji is gay! He'll be my boyfriend I know it!' Angrily thought Tenten.
Around the chuunin examiners was Kiba who thought differently, 'Hehehe…I thought I wouldn't lose against him, you don't underestimate an unpredictable ninja, especially one with pranking skills.'
(~.~)
Back on the field
The two chuunin hopefuls were on the field, one glaring and one with a smile that seemed to split his face in half. "You have something to say?" Asked the pupiless boy.
"Yeah, I will beat you in two moves for Hinata!" Declared Naruto.
(~.~)
In the stands
"Nar-ruto-ku-un," stuttered the shy Hyuuga.
(~.~)
Back on the field
"You can try," haughtily mocked Neji activating his Byakuugan.
"The first fight, BEGIN!" Yelled the proctor before jumping away from the battle.
"Alright! Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Shouted Naruto as he summoned 30 solid clones of himself. 'Gotta to save energy for later.'
(~.~)
In the stands with Izumo and Kotetsu
"Heh, what an interesting guy…what's he gonna do?" smirked Kotetsu.
"That's a jonin level jutsu…" Izumo stared in awe.
(~.~)
On the field Naruto gets ready to bring Neji down without a fight
"Foolish. This won't do anything to me." Feeling superior, Neji thought he'd win even with that many clones around him, 'He won't even be able to fight me…heh, dobe.'
Grinning evilly Naruto called out, "Harem no Jutsu!" The 30 kage bunshin clones Naruto summoned transformed into 16 year old, DD cup, twin-tailed blonde haired, blue-eyed hot babes in the nude with only clouds covering their privates. "Oooohhhh, Neji-kuuuuuunnnn!" Purred the girls, making most men in the stands either pass out or hold their hands to their noses trying to keep the blood from flowing out too much & the women to gape or glare at the blonde.
(~.~)
In the kage box
'Oh Naruto, what have you done?' Thought the Hokage, slightly embarrassed with a heavy blush on his face and his hat pulled down to cover it. While the Kazekage (~cough~disguised gay pedo~cough~) only remained stoic wistfully thinking 'If only it was Sasuke-kun!'
(~.~)
Back on the field
All the Naruto's transformed back into their original form staring at Neji, "Why didn't that work on you?"
"Hn. You think that disgusting technique would work on me? Think again." Replied Neji.
"It works on all perverts! Why didn't it work on you?!" Shouted Naruto. "Wait, you're not…you're not gay are you?"
"O-of course I'm not!" Neji stuttered a bit ("Of course he's not!" Shouted a twin-bun haired brunette from the crowd).
"Let's try this again and see if you can defeat it! Harem no Justu – Otoko!" Declared Naruto as he and his 30 clones transformed themselves into a 16 year old version of himself only with a toned-chiseled chest of an Adonis, spiky blonde hair to his shoulders, deep blue eyes you can swim in, long toned legs and arms with a cloud covering what defines him as a man. "How about this N-e-j-i!" The Adonis' spelled seductively.
Neji all about died with the amount of blood spurting out of his nose as he flew backwards and crashed into the stadium wall. The women in the stands were imitating the men from earlier with their nosebleed but one special purple-haired girl just had her first orgasm seeing her crush with the look befitting a God (not that he wasn't like that to her already).
"Well…" Commented Naruto as he dispersed his clones and returned to wearing his orange jumpsuit, "Ya gonna call the fight since he's knocked out cold?"
"W-winner Uzumaki Naruto!" Yelled Genma, not believing his eyes.
Grinning in satisfaction Naruto left the stadium floor with the stadium full of noise for his victory, albeit an interesting victory, but a victory nonetheless. The medics carted Neji off the field muttering, "Just how many people will have to get blood transfusions today?"
The first match was over with Naruto not only knocking out his opponent but many of the participants and the crowd as well with one girl babbling "He can't be gay, he just can't be!" (Gonna need to get her medicated for that) and the chuunin examiners saying "Ha! Knew he was gay!"
(~.~)
A/N Just thought of this in the spur of the moment. So please review & any comments are welcome 'cause I'll want to fix any mistakes and critique.
Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu – Multi Shadow Clone Technique
Harem no Jutsu – Harem Technique
Harem no Justu – Otoko – Harem Male Technique (my own version)