Breathe Charlotte, god damn it, in and out, in and out, slow breaths, oh what's the use, and I'm going to puke.
I desperately claw at my memory of the breathing exercises my Aunt Cheryl taught me before I boarded this hellhole flight to Seattle. I am scared to death of planes, so why oh why did I agree to this stupid move?! Idiot girl.
"If you feel sick or faint, try listening to music, take your mind of the height and the motion" that was the best my Dad could come up with whilst trying to calm my flight nerves. He twisted awkwardly in his seat next to me, obviously unsure whether to comfort me or ignore my obvious meltdown. I reached for my lime green IPod, tuning into my favourite playlist, Hear Me by Imagine Dragons blasted into my ears and I slowly began to calm myself.
"Wake up baby girl, come on princess, we are here" My dad's gruff voice whispered into my ear as my tickled my cheek; he always woke me up like this, tickling my lips or my cheek. I stood up stretching, wondering what delights awaited me on the other side of arrivals. Arrivals took an hour to get through, with security and baggage. Another reason I hate flying, the long ass waits. My dad and I made our way to the car rental desk and rented some sort of truck, so I no idea what car I was launching myself into apart from the fact it's fairly large. We pulled out of the airport and began our 3 hour car journey to my delightful little hometown of La Push. Yay! Please note the sarcasm as I say this. I have hated La Push since the day I left 7 years ago, just before my 11th birthday. My parents were constantly fighting, I and my sister Kim would hide in our rooms playing games or listening to music to drown out the screaming and curse words being thrown around below us. I had a good childhood, until I was around 10, that's when it all started, the heavy drinking by my dad, the sneaking out by my Mom, the pitiful looks from neighbours.
Kim and I were given a choice of where we wanted to live, obviously Kim chose our Mom but I was a total Daddys girl and couldn't live in La Push without him so I went to live in California with my Dad. But now I was on my way back, to our "happy" little family home with Kim my twin sister and my mom and her new husband, I say new but they've been married 5 years now, Scott.
About a week after school finished in Cali, my Dad had called a "family meeting" to inform me that he had been given a promotion and would be leaving to head up his companies new office in London for a year, meaning I would have to spend my summer break and Senior year in the ever lovely La Push Washington.
I hated this place, I could remember the day I left as clear as anything.
Flashback
"NO DONT GO! Why are you leaving Lottie, you can't leave me all alone, your my best friend" Kim was crying to me as I threw my favourite pink handbag into the back of the cab.
Dad was loading our suitcases, while mum sobbed her heart out into the arms of Sue Clearwater, her best friend.
"I can't stay here without daddy Kimmyboo, mommy told him to leave so I'm leaving to, she's being mean, she doesn't love us anymore" I squeezed my sister in the tightest hug I could master , handing her a picture of the two of us hugging at Christmas in our matching snowman jumpers, and a handmade card I had made her, telling her how much I would miss her.
I was only about 10 but I had made up my mind that my mom was evil because she met a new man and I didn't like her anymore, so I chose my dad to live with. Mom tried to kick up a fight about it but she eventually realised if I stayed because I was forced I would be a little cow.
A few nights before I had heard my Mom telling Dad he had to leave, she didn't love him anymore. She had broken my perfect family apart and I hated her for it. I hated Scott for it to, I had seen them hugging and kissing when daddy wasn't home.
Dad picked Kimmy up and swung her round and around, telling her how he would miss his beautiful kimbear, then he took my hand and led me toward the waiting car. This is where the drama began. Dad strapped me in the back seat next to him, squeezing my hand tightly as we began to drive away. I stared out the back window and saw Kimmy running after us, tears streaming down her perfectly round face as she screamed for me to come back.
End of flashback
"Lottie, Lottie, Lottie, LOTTIE!" I was being shook, why was I being shook. Eurgh.
"errrrrrrrrr go away, 5 more minutes pleaaaaaaasseee" I peeked out of one eye and clicked my Iphone on, 3.30am, you have got to be kidding me.
Dad continued to shake me, and I continued to ignore his persistent annoyances. Soon I felt myself being lifted out of the truck and placed on something soft, I couldn't be bothered to open my eyes so I let myself fall back into my sleep, of the memories of how my family fell apart all those years ago.