Meet my Inquisitor Lucian Lavellan. Uptight, short-tempered Knight Enchanter. Hilariously insecure. Knocking boots with the Tevinter - who else?
"So, ah, Cole," the Inquisitor proposed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head, "you can read minds, right?"
Cole didn't know what he meant. Read minds? Pry into private thoughts? Cause suffering for knowing dear secrets? That wasn't something he wanted to do at all. "No, no you have it wrong. I can only see suffering, can only know pain, can only hear the thoughts of those who need help."
Lavellan was beginning to have second thoughts. Perhaps it hadn't been worth his time traipsing all the way up to the top of the tavern... "Well..." he considered, "what if someone was having bad thoughts about me? Behind my back, no less. Wouldn't that cause suffering and pain to me?"
Cole could see his point there. Sometimes the greatest pain was not knowing that those you believed were close to you didn't love you at all. "Yes... yes it would."
"So, the only compassionate thing to do would be for us to go around Skyhold, and for you to find out what all the others think about me. And you must tell me, of course."
"That makes sense," Cole concluded gradually.
"It would really help both me and the Inquisition a great deal."
Cole didn't completely understand why the Inquisitor wanted to know what all the others thought about him, but he didn't doubt it was important business for the Inquisition. And the Inquisitor had always been kind to him before, he always helped people. Cole wanted to help him.
"I'll do it," Cole agreed.
The Inquisitor grinned and looped his arm around Cole's, dragging him happily along down the stairs. "Fantastic! We have so much work to do! You're such a great help to the Inquisition, Cole."
Naturally, Lavellan really just wanted to get some dirt on the other companions and find out whether any gossip was circulating about him. Maker knew he'd done enough recently upstairs in his tower with a certain Tevinter mage. He was surprised a Desire demon hadn't manifested up there yet.
But Cole didn't have to know any of that. All Cole had to do was look into their minds and tell Lavellan what he saw. There was no need for this innocent boy's thoughts to be rotted by such idle gossip.
Unless something really juicy came up.
Vivienne was lounging around on her balcony, looking out over all the castle. She couldn't see Cole and Lavellan, hiding in the dark doorway corridor. Commander Helaine was looking at them suspiciously, but she never said more than two lines anyway.
Lavellan was staring intently at the enchantress. He was putting a great deal of thought wondering what her opinion of him was.
"I mean, defeating Corpyheus will be easy. You'll just cast mark of death and I'll spam spirit blade fifty billion times," the Inquisitor said to himself. "But what Vivienne is thinking now... That's the greatest mystery. Go on, Cole. Does she think I'm too overconfident, maybe? Or is she unhappy that I've changed the throne to Chasind recently..."
He turned on his heels around to Cole behind him. The spirit boy was more than a little intimidated. Perhaps this wasn't the best idea the Inquisitor had ever had. But he decided to follow through on his orders, nonetheless. Cole reached out to Vivienne, seeking for her pain, any grief she had about the inquisitor, any aches that needed to be soothed...
"She's disgusted with you," Cole said at last. "Her mind is bubbling with nausea. Something you've done has offended her greatly, and a rift has opened in her heart."
The Inquisitor clenched his fists together. He'd known that not everyone would be so understanding when the rumours about him and Dorian started to spread. Some people thought those kinds of acts to be wrong. He'd never pegged Vivienne, however, to be so narrow minded.
"Thank you, Cole. Wait here, I'm going to have a word with her..."
Thus the Inquisitor stormed over to the enchantress. He would have used Fade Step to seem more intimidating, but Josephine had already told him off too many times for using spells indoors.
"Et, tu, Vivienne," said the Inquisitor.
"What, darling?" replied the bewildered circle mage.
"Don't give me your 'darlings'!" Lavellan exclaimed angrily. "I know the truth. You don't like the idea of me and Dorian ploughing each other every day in the Skyhold tower! You sicken me..."
Vivienne's eyes grew wide for a few seconds. The Inquisitor felt very proud of himself. The Exalted March for Gay Rights in Orlais had begun.
But then Vivienne covered her mouth with one graceful hand, and started giggling.
"This is no laughing matter, I assure you, Lady Vivienne," the Inquisitor growled. "Pull yourself together."
Vivienne did not stop laughing. "Oh, my dear, you do amuse me so, sometimes. You think I care in the slightest about who you're taking to bed...? There are far more important matters you should be worrying about."
Lavellan's brow furrowed. "What is your problem with me, then? I know I've offended you, and I can think of nothing else I've done recently..."
"Oh Maker, you are truly blind," Vivienne tittered. "You've committed so many unforgivable crimes against fashion lately, darling. Ever since we reached Skyhold, I've felt on the verge of vomiting. First there are those damned matching hats you forged for everyone that are all bright blue."
"But I only had one schematic!"
"Secondly, you made my new set of armour entirely out of plaidweave. Plaidweave, my dear, belongs somewhere blighted and far away. Perhaps in the Deep Roads. Although I imagine the Darkspawn wouldn't even want to wear it."
"But I liked the-"
"And THIRDLY, there are those dire pajamas you wear around Skyhold all the time. I cringe every time I see you on the throne. They're five sizes too small and cling to your body so horribly. The Lord Inquisitor shouldn't have man boobs. You ought to change them at once, for all our sakes."
The Inquisitor stared glumly at the ground. It wasn't his fault there were no alternative casualwear mods yet. But he did feel a little guilty about the plaidweave...
"I'll forge you a new robe, Vivienne. Thank you for your honesty."
Vivienne smiled gently. "Any time, my dear."
He dashed off back to Cole. There was still plenty of dirt to be dug up about all the others.
More soon!