Misa's guide for stalkers

Hello, this is MisaMisa, the well-known teen-idol, giving you advices regarding your love life! MisaMisa wants you to know these:

1. The first and the most important rule is that you must never care about what others say- no matter whom you like, even if he's a mass-murderer, you have to follow your heart and not your mind.

2. In the beginning, you have to find out everything about your sweetheart! For this, you have to stalk him! Yes, you heard that right! However, you must be smart, so he won't notice- a little disguise will do.

3. Then, all you have to do is to search him on the Internet, look up for his address and pay him a visit. But before this, you must assure he wants to meet you- a few video-tapes sent to a TV will be more than enough to intrigue him and make him think about you until the meeting.

4. Dress nice and go to his house. In front of his parents/lover/whatever pretend you are one of his classmates/workmates and then prove your identity to him. Give him all he wants and… BANG-BANG! You're his girlfriend!

5. If he wants to cheat on you, do not hesitate to protest- you mustn't let go of him no matter what. Put him promise you dates and that he will call; this way you make sure he will not forget about you.

Tip! For better results, have a shinigami threatening to kill him (it never fails!).

6. Meet him earlier than promised- this will make him kiss you!

7. If he is in trouble (and you're also dragged), DO NOT betray him!

8. If he ends up handcuffed to somebody, think positive: variation will do him good; when he'll escape, he would be grateful having you than that person. However, keep an eye on him, and never let him go on the rooftop when it's raining- you can never be too cautious.

9. Make yourself useful and after a time he will move in with you!

10. Ensure people around you hint you two should get married.

11. If nothing horrible happens, you will have a nice family.

BONUS! If you think he is cheating on you, humiliate the bitch and make her look stupid- maybe he'll get so mad that he will kill her!