Disclaimers: Alas and alack, Gundam Wing's characters do not belong to me.
Warnings: yaoi hints, crass language, pointlessness
Author's Ramblings: Since leaving home, I have made a point of contacting M.E. almost daily, so she gets to hear about all the weird and wacky things going on in my life. I blame this ficlet entirely on her, as she was the one who requested it. This is based on the one and only time my dorm mates and I played Truth or Dare Jenga (yes, there really is such a game). I say it was the only time because if Ernest is smart, he'll have hid that game where no one can find it, or, better yet, burned it.
Boredom, Blocks, and Bedlam By Rapunzel
They say that you learn something new everyday. However, if you asked most people what they learned in a particular day, they would probably shrug and have difficulty pinpointing one specific thing.
Chang Wufei was not most people, and if you asked him what he had learned that day, he'd have told you in a second. Today's lesson: Never, ever let Duo Maxwell get bored.
"Come on, Trowa! Just pick a block and go with it already!"
Trowa ignored the longhaired pilot and continued cautiously poking blocks in the stack to see which ones gave most easily. He finally settled on a blue one in the center and pulled it out.
"What does it say?" Duo asked eagerly.
Trowa read the words printed on the block aloud. "What was the most embarrassing thing you've ever had to buy?"
"Well?" Duo prompted after a moment of silence during which the Heavyarms pilot looked thoughtful.
"I don't know," Trowa said.
"That's not an answer!"
Wufei sent a sidewise glance at the longhaired pilot sitting to his right. Duo was unusually hyper, despite the fact that Wufei had monitored him and was sure he had not been near chocolate, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, or any other recreational pharmaceuticals. It was probably just too much pent up energy, he decided.
"Well, there was one time when Catherine made me go underwear shopping with her," Trowa said, startling Wufei out of his reverie. "That should count." And he put his block on top of the tower, signifying the end of his turn.
"Yeah, I guess," Duo agreed. "Wufei, your turn!"
Wufei sighed. Just how had he gotten himself into this mess again?
~*~*~
It had all started innocuously enough. All five of them had been required to hit a base with particularly high security. Thus, they had all converged at the safe house nearest the base, a tiny cabin with two bedrooms and a rather lumpy couch that Wufei had ended up sleeping on, since he knew better than to share a room with Quatre and Trowa, and Duo had hinted that his and Heero's bedroom might not be the most suitable of places to rest either. The cabin was not only small, it was also secluded. The nearest town was a good half an hour away.
For the first few days after the mission, Duo had been content to lay low with the others and simply rest. The fact that the cabin contained neither a television nor books hadn't begun to bother him until the fourth day. Boredom struck, and struck with a vengeance.
"Hey, guys," Dou said as he walked out of his bedroom on the morning of the fifth day. "What say we do something?"
"Like what?" Wufei asked rather disinterestedly. He would have done better to keep his mouth shut.
"Let's play a game," Duo suggested.
Quatre brightened. "Risk!" he said enthusiastically. "Let's play Risk!"
"No!" Duo objected. "You just want to play Risk because you always win."
"That's not true," Quatre protested. "I've lost."
"Once," Duo said. "And that was only because we picked our territories randomly, and yours were so spread out there was no way you could have won."
Trowa set down his coffee cup and gave Duo a mildly inquiring look. "If not Risk, what did you have in mind?"
Duo grinned. "You'll see. It's going to be great! Just what we need to liven things up."
And with that, he turned around and went back into his room, where they could hear him rummaging around, looking for something.
"Liven things up?" Wufei repeated dubiously. "Why do I think that this can lead to nothing good?"
~*~*~
As it turned out, what Duo had had in mind was Truth or Dare Jenga. It was like normal Jenga, except that the red and blue blocks had truths or dares written on them. The tan ones were blank, and anyone who pulled out one of those had to be subjected to whatever the person sitting to the right of him thought up. Wufei had tried to avoid them, since Duo was sitting to his right, but for some reason they seemed to be the only ones that came out easily. So far he had gotten off fairly lightly, getting only truths, but now it was his turn in the barrel again.
Taking the die from Trowa, Wufei reluctantly tossed it on the floor, waiting to see which type of block it would tell him to pull, hoping against hope that he would get a reverse and it would be Trowa's turn again. No such luck; the die told him to pick out either a center block or a red one.
Very cautiously, he began to mimic Trowa, poking first one block, then another, looking to see which one gave under his touch. He finally settled on a red edge piece, pulling it out and reading what it said. " 'Imitate a popular singer'? But I don't know any popular singers!"
"I can help you out!" Duo volunteered enthusiastically.
"No, that's alright," Wufei said quickly. "I'll manage." And manage he did, by holding his nose so as to sound like one of the popular female singers he sometimes heard over the speakers in supermarkets. Duo laughed, and then picked up the die, ready to take his turn.
One of the reasons Duo had picked this game, Wufei was sure, was because he was so good at it. He could pull out almost any block at random, and the tower wouldn't so much as wobble. In this case, he ended up with red one which he read gleefully. " 'Sit on the lap of the person to your left until your next turn.' Well, sorry Wu-man."
"What!" Wufei squawked indignantly. "To the left? Why can't it be to the right?" He shot a meaningful look at Heero, who was seated on Duo's right.
"Sorry, Wu-man," Duo repeated. "I'm just reading what the block says. Here, you can see for yourself."
"No, that's alright," Wufei muttered, and Duo put his block on top of the stack.
"Tough luck," Heero said with a smirk. "He has a very bony butt."
"Hey!" Duo sounded indignant. "There is nothing wrong with my butt, as you yourself have noted on occasion!"
Wufei choked, but didn't say anything. Instead, he silently began the prayer he had been reciting since his first turn. /Let one of them knock the tower over and end the game before it comes back to me./
Then Duo shifted, trying to get more comfortable, and Wufei yelped. "Maxwell, you do have a bony butt!"
Duo glared at him, but refrained from comment. As Heero picked up the die, Wufei's prayer changed slightly. /Let him get a reverse so Maxwell can take his next turn and get off of me./
Of course, Heero didn't role a reverse. Wufei stifled a disappointed noise; his legs were already starting to go numb.
Heero pulled out a tan block and set it on top of the stack, leaving Quatre to ask him, "Truth or dare?" As always, Heero picked truth, and poor Quatre was left to come up with something to ask him. He was rapidly running out of truths, and Heero's life so far seemed to have been pretty boring. Except, possibly, for his sex life, which Quatre pointedly did not ask about, as if afraid to find out more than he wanted to know. Wufei thought it was a wise decision on his part.
Wufei's prayers went unanswered, and Quatre and Trowa got through their turns without knocking the tower over. Then it was his turn again. As he picked up the die, Quatre smiled sweetly at him and said, "Wouldn't it be terrible if you rolled a reverse and Duo had to stay on you lap for another round?"
Wufei, who could no longer feel his legs due to the uncomfortable angle at which they were bent beneath Duo's weight, glared at Quatre, and flung the die at him for daring to suggest such a thing. It bounced off Quatre's forehead and landed on the floor, clearly saying reverse.
Wufei was wondering if anyone had ever been driven to madness by a game, when Trowa solved things for him. "Roll again," he said, handing Wufei the die. "That one doesn't count because you threw it at Quatre." The look in his eyes said that Wufei had darned well better not try that again if he valued his life.
Dutifully, Wufei rolled and Duo shifted aside so that he could pull out his block. He ended up with a tan one, and looked at Duo with a sense of dread.
"Okay, Wu-man, truth or dare?"
Wufei, who had not liked the direction the last few truths from Duo had been heading, said, "Dare."
He regretted his choice the moment he saw Duo's eyes light up. "Dare, huh?" Duo sat thoughtfully for a few moments. "What to do, what to do," he muttered under his breath.
Wufei was feeling decidedly uncomfortable.
Finally, Duo sat up. "I know!" he said. "Wait here!" And he dashed from the room, returning moments later with what Wufei recognized as a recording device.
"Alright, Wufei, you have to skip around the perimeter of the room yelling vagina at the top of your lungs," Duo announced gleefully.
"What?!"
"Well, you always act like such a prude," Duo explained. "This is just to loosen you up, so to speak."
"Maxwell, this will in no way 'loosen me up.' Why do I have to do this?"
"Because you took the dare," Duo said. "It would go against your honor to back down now."
That was a cheap shot. Wufei sat for a moment, thinking about the irony of having to preserve his honor by doing something so undignified. Finally, he stood up with a grudging, "Fine."
"Great," Duo said. "Now skip."
And skip he did, all around the blessedly small room, yelling "Vagina!" at regular intervals. Duo recorded the entire episode, looking virtuous as he claimed that it was "for posterity." Finally, the ordeal was over, and Wufei sat down, red in the face and feeling murderous. He decided right then that the game was going to end, and soon, dammit.
Once the recording was finished, Duo ignored him, picking up the die and rolling with abandon. As he reached over to pull a block out, Wufei nudged him slightly with his knee, hoping to bump his hand and knock the tower down.
Duo sent a glare in his direction. "Cut it out, Wufei," he said.
Heero caught Wufei's eye over Duo's back and mouthed, "You're going about it the wrong way." Then, leaning over, Heero positioned himself next to Duo. As Duo was pulling out his block, Heero whispered something in the other pilot's ear. Wufei couldn't hear what he said, and considered that it was probably better for him that he couldn't. Duo's hand jerked, and the tower of blocks came crashing down.
Duo looked in shock from the fallen tower to Heero, and back again. Finding his voice, he said, "That was cheating."
Heero whispered something else.
Duo looked thoughtful. "Well, when you put it like that."
Heero smirked, then rose to his feet, drawing Duo up after him. They vanished into the bedroom and the door closed behind them.
Wufei let out a sigh of relief. "Well, that's over. Now where did he leave that recording?"
But the recording device was clutched tightly in Quatre's hands. "I'm with Duo on this one," he said. "For posterity."
"Winner," Wufei growled. "Give. Me. That. Now."
In the living room of the cabin, a chase ensued as Wufei frantically attempted to get the recording from Quatre. Trowa quietly set about clearing away the blocks.
"It's a pity, really," he said quietly to no one in particular. "I was enjoying myself."
Owari
Warnings: yaoi hints, crass language, pointlessness
Author's Ramblings: Since leaving home, I have made a point of contacting M.E. almost daily, so she gets to hear about all the weird and wacky things going on in my life. I blame this ficlet entirely on her, as she was the one who requested it. This is based on the one and only time my dorm mates and I played Truth or Dare Jenga (yes, there really is such a game). I say it was the only time because if Ernest is smart, he'll have hid that game where no one can find it, or, better yet, burned it.
Boredom, Blocks, and Bedlam By Rapunzel
They say that you learn something new everyday. However, if you asked most people what they learned in a particular day, they would probably shrug and have difficulty pinpointing one specific thing.
Chang Wufei was not most people, and if you asked him what he had learned that day, he'd have told you in a second. Today's lesson: Never, ever let Duo Maxwell get bored.
"Come on, Trowa! Just pick a block and go with it already!"
Trowa ignored the longhaired pilot and continued cautiously poking blocks in the stack to see which ones gave most easily. He finally settled on a blue one in the center and pulled it out.
"What does it say?" Duo asked eagerly.
Trowa read the words printed on the block aloud. "What was the most embarrassing thing you've ever had to buy?"
"Well?" Duo prompted after a moment of silence during which the Heavyarms pilot looked thoughtful.
"I don't know," Trowa said.
"That's not an answer!"
Wufei sent a sidewise glance at the longhaired pilot sitting to his right. Duo was unusually hyper, despite the fact that Wufei had monitored him and was sure he had not been near chocolate, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, or any other recreational pharmaceuticals. It was probably just too much pent up energy, he decided.
"Well, there was one time when Catherine made me go underwear shopping with her," Trowa said, startling Wufei out of his reverie. "That should count." And he put his block on top of the tower, signifying the end of his turn.
"Yeah, I guess," Duo agreed. "Wufei, your turn!"
Wufei sighed. Just how had he gotten himself into this mess again?
~*~*~
It had all started innocuously enough. All five of them had been required to hit a base with particularly high security. Thus, they had all converged at the safe house nearest the base, a tiny cabin with two bedrooms and a rather lumpy couch that Wufei had ended up sleeping on, since he knew better than to share a room with Quatre and Trowa, and Duo had hinted that his and Heero's bedroom might not be the most suitable of places to rest either. The cabin was not only small, it was also secluded. The nearest town was a good half an hour away.
For the first few days after the mission, Duo had been content to lay low with the others and simply rest. The fact that the cabin contained neither a television nor books hadn't begun to bother him until the fourth day. Boredom struck, and struck with a vengeance.
"Hey, guys," Dou said as he walked out of his bedroom on the morning of the fifth day. "What say we do something?"
"Like what?" Wufei asked rather disinterestedly. He would have done better to keep his mouth shut.
"Let's play a game," Duo suggested.
Quatre brightened. "Risk!" he said enthusiastically. "Let's play Risk!"
"No!" Duo objected. "You just want to play Risk because you always win."
"That's not true," Quatre protested. "I've lost."
"Once," Duo said. "And that was only because we picked our territories randomly, and yours were so spread out there was no way you could have won."
Trowa set down his coffee cup and gave Duo a mildly inquiring look. "If not Risk, what did you have in mind?"
Duo grinned. "You'll see. It's going to be great! Just what we need to liven things up."
And with that, he turned around and went back into his room, where they could hear him rummaging around, looking for something.
"Liven things up?" Wufei repeated dubiously. "Why do I think that this can lead to nothing good?"
~*~*~
As it turned out, what Duo had had in mind was Truth or Dare Jenga. It was like normal Jenga, except that the red and blue blocks had truths or dares written on them. The tan ones were blank, and anyone who pulled out one of those had to be subjected to whatever the person sitting to the right of him thought up. Wufei had tried to avoid them, since Duo was sitting to his right, but for some reason they seemed to be the only ones that came out easily. So far he had gotten off fairly lightly, getting only truths, but now it was his turn in the barrel again.
Taking the die from Trowa, Wufei reluctantly tossed it on the floor, waiting to see which type of block it would tell him to pull, hoping against hope that he would get a reverse and it would be Trowa's turn again. No such luck; the die told him to pick out either a center block or a red one.
Very cautiously, he began to mimic Trowa, poking first one block, then another, looking to see which one gave under his touch. He finally settled on a red edge piece, pulling it out and reading what it said. " 'Imitate a popular singer'? But I don't know any popular singers!"
"I can help you out!" Duo volunteered enthusiastically.
"No, that's alright," Wufei said quickly. "I'll manage." And manage he did, by holding his nose so as to sound like one of the popular female singers he sometimes heard over the speakers in supermarkets. Duo laughed, and then picked up the die, ready to take his turn.
One of the reasons Duo had picked this game, Wufei was sure, was because he was so good at it. He could pull out almost any block at random, and the tower wouldn't so much as wobble. In this case, he ended up with red one which he read gleefully. " 'Sit on the lap of the person to your left until your next turn.' Well, sorry Wu-man."
"What!" Wufei squawked indignantly. "To the left? Why can't it be to the right?" He shot a meaningful look at Heero, who was seated on Duo's right.
"Sorry, Wu-man," Duo repeated. "I'm just reading what the block says. Here, you can see for yourself."
"No, that's alright," Wufei muttered, and Duo put his block on top of the stack.
"Tough luck," Heero said with a smirk. "He has a very bony butt."
"Hey!" Duo sounded indignant. "There is nothing wrong with my butt, as you yourself have noted on occasion!"
Wufei choked, but didn't say anything. Instead, he silently began the prayer he had been reciting since his first turn. /Let one of them knock the tower over and end the game before it comes back to me./
Then Duo shifted, trying to get more comfortable, and Wufei yelped. "Maxwell, you do have a bony butt!"
Duo glared at him, but refrained from comment. As Heero picked up the die, Wufei's prayer changed slightly. /Let him get a reverse so Maxwell can take his next turn and get off of me./
Of course, Heero didn't role a reverse. Wufei stifled a disappointed noise; his legs were already starting to go numb.
Heero pulled out a tan block and set it on top of the stack, leaving Quatre to ask him, "Truth or dare?" As always, Heero picked truth, and poor Quatre was left to come up with something to ask him. He was rapidly running out of truths, and Heero's life so far seemed to have been pretty boring. Except, possibly, for his sex life, which Quatre pointedly did not ask about, as if afraid to find out more than he wanted to know. Wufei thought it was a wise decision on his part.
Wufei's prayers went unanswered, and Quatre and Trowa got through their turns without knocking the tower over. Then it was his turn again. As he picked up the die, Quatre smiled sweetly at him and said, "Wouldn't it be terrible if you rolled a reverse and Duo had to stay on you lap for another round?"
Wufei, who could no longer feel his legs due to the uncomfortable angle at which they were bent beneath Duo's weight, glared at Quatre, and flung the die at him for daring to suggest such a thing. It bounced off Quatre's forehead and landed on the floor, clearly saying reverse.
Wufei was wondering if anyone had ever been driven to madness by a game, when Trowa solved things for him. "Roll again," he said, handing Wufei the die. "That one doesn't count because you threw it at Quatre." The look in his eyes said that Wufei had darned well better not try that again if he valued his life.
Dutifully, Wufei rolled and Duo shifted aside so that he could pull out his block. He ended up with a tan one, and looked at Duo with a sense of dread.
"Okay, Wu-man, truth or dare?"
Wufei, who had not liked the direction the last few truths from Duo had been heading, said, "Dare."
He regretted his choice the moment he saw Duo's eyes light up. "Dare, huh?" Duo sat thoughtfully for a few moments. "What to do, what to do," he muttered under his breath.
Wufei was feeling decidedly uncomfortable.
Finally, Duo sat up. "I know!" he said. "Wait here!" And he dashed from the room, returning moments later with what Wufei recognized as a recording device.
"Alright, Wufei, you have to skip around the perimeter of the room yelling vagina at the top of your lungs," Duo announced gleefully.
"What?!"
"Well, you always act like such a prude," Duo explained. "This is just to loosen you up, so to speak."
"Maxwell, this will in no way 'loosen me up.' Why do I have to do this?"
"Because you took the dare," Duo said. "It would go against your honor to back down now."
That was a cheap shot. Wufei sat for a moment, thinking about the irony of having to preserve his honor by doing something so undignified. Finally, he stood up with a grudging, "Fine."
"Great," Duo said. "Now skip."
And skip he did, all around the blessedly small room, yelling "Vagina!" at regular intervals. Duo recorded the entire episode, looking virtuous as he claimed that it was "for posterity." Finally, the ordeal was over, and Wufei sat down, red in the face and feeling murderous. He decided right then that the game was going to end, and soon, dammit.
Once the recording was finished, Duo ignored him, picking up the die and rolling with abandon. As he reached over to pull a block out, Wufei nudged him slightly with his knee, hoping to bump his hand and knock the tower down.
Duo sent a glare in his direction. "Cut it out, Wufei," he said.
Heero caught Wufei's eye over Duo's back and mouthed, "You're going about it the wrong way." Then, leaning over, Heero positioned himself next to Duo. As Duo was pulling out his block, Heero whispered something in the other pilot's ear. Wufei couldn't hear what he said, and considered that it was probably better for him that he couldn't. Duo's hand jerked, and the tower of blocks came crashing down.
Duo looked in shock from the fallen tower to Heero, and back again. Finding his voice, he said, "That was cheating."
Heero whispered something else.
Duo looked thoughtful. "Well, when you put it like that."
Heero smirked, then rose to his feet, drawing Duo up after him. They vanished into the bedroom and the door closed behind them.
Wufei let out a sigh of relief. "Well, that's over. Now where did he leave that recording?"
But the recording device was clutched tightly in Quatre's hands. "I'm with Duo on this one," he said. "For posterity."
"Winner," Wufei growled. "Give. Me. That. Now."
In the living room of the cabin, a chase ensued as Wufei frantically attempted to get the recording from Quatre. Trowa quietly set about clearing away the blocks.
"It's a pity, really," he said quietly to no one in particular. "I was enjoying myself."
Owari