I'll Give Him That- one-shot

by wizardsunlimited

Some reflection on Sam's part when John and Dean are on a hunt. What he went through when they left him alone to take care of himself while they were out hunting. AU High School. Rating for mention of self-harm and suicide. I've decided to end this as a one-shot.

They never did care about me. Nobody cared enough to ask. I was invisible, and I was fine with that. Dad and Dean were always on a hunt and I was left alone because it was not the right time for me to join in yet. Yeah right. I am a bother and a burden. That's why they don't let me hunt. Join the family business. How many times do I have to tell them that I can manage both, hunting and school. I've been managing our lives and my grades from as far back as I can remember. What difference would hunting make?

My goal was to get through life without questions being asked. Each day was a monotonous routine for me now. As soon as Dean and dad would leave, I sank into a state, where I couldn't be bothered. Each day they were gone was the same. Wake up, get ready, go to the school of the week and come back to the crappy motel that was our temporary home. In class, I tried to blend into the furniture. That way, no extra attention would be directed at me. I would not go through what I went through back in middle school. The noise of students, the shouting, the taunting and a sharp pain in my head as I was slammed into the lockers repeatedly until I lost conscious. Each day was like a visit from hell.