So here's a fanfic for you guys, to wait until HTTYD 2 comes out... I may update it quite regurlarly since it's a translation (I originally write in French ^^), the chapters are already written.

It takes place in HTTYD 1, and it starts during the dragon training final. I know this chapter may surprise some of you, but wait for the next ones before you judge my fic. Oh and there will be several Hiccstrid scenes, not in that chapter, but already in the next one.

A big thank you to cashewkitty, my beta reader, who took the time to correct my rough English.

Reviews are welcome :)

I. Loneliness

Trapped. I was trapped between that Monstrous Nightmare's claws. He looked at me ferociously, ready to strike. I curled up, hoping it would be fast. I should have never wanted to change things. Vikings were too stubborn to understand, and dragons remained wild animals. I was about to pay the price of it.

Then I heard it. That kind of whistling, typical of the filtering of gas in the jaw of a Night Fury. Followed by an explosion.

Toothless.

A thick cloud of dust spread into the arena. I was soon freed from the Monstrous Nightmare's claws, and moved back watching, terrified, the ferocious struggle which had started between him and Toothless. The two dragons were having a violent fight, whose winner would have the honor of deciding of my fate. I was looking at them, helpless, wondering why I had the talent of always putting myself in impossible situations. Toothless got the upper hand and stepped in between the Monstrous Nightmare and me, threatening. At that moment, I started to realize the terrible consequences of my dragon's loyalty. I suddenly became way more worried about him than about me, and ran towards him by the time the Monstrous Nightmare had definitely given up the fight.

"Toothless, go! Get out of here! " I begged while the whole village was coming in the arena brandishing axes, hammers and swords. "Go! GO!" I shouted even louder when I saw my father running towards us, axe in his hand. "No, Dad! Dad, he won't hurt you!" I yelled desperately.

Toothless rushed at him and pinned him to the ground, ready to strike. "Toothless, stop!" I tried to hold him. "No! NO! "

He stopped and looked at me with big eyes for just a couple of seconds, which were enough for the Vikings to react and pin him to the ground. I panicked, realizing I had just given him to enraged Vikings, dragon killers since the mists of time.

"Oh no, no, no! Please don't hurt him!" I cried out, desperate, while hAstrid came and held me. "Please don't hurt him." Toothless, immobilized, stopped struggling, and my father ordered: "Put it with the others." And then, speaking to Gobber: "Lock it up, I'll deal with it later."

"I should have known. I should have seen the signs…"

My father was furious. I absolutely had to explain it to him, try to make him understand… Or I might never see Toothless again. No, that was unthinkable. I couldn't lose him.

"Dad…"

"We had a deal!"

"I know… we did… but that… that was before I… Argh… It's all so messed up…"

"So everything in the ring… a trick?! A lie!"

"I screwed up, I… I should have told you before now, I just… Take this out on me, be mad at me, but please, just don't hurt Toothless."

"The dragon? That's what you're worried about? Not the people you almost killed?!"

"He was just protecting me! He's not dangerous!"

"They've killed hundreds of us!"

"And we've killed thousands of them! They defend themselves, that's all! They…"

"Stoick! "

Gobber was coming, running as fast as his wooden leg would allow.

"Stoick!"

My father turned round, and Gobber whispered something I couldn't hear. What was going on? Everything in my head was getting so confused, and I was more worried for Toothless than ever.

"Dad, what is it?" I asked, but he pushed me out of the way and left, closing the door. As always. He didn't listen to me. He never listened to me. I cursed myself for being so different, for not matching up with his dream of a perfect son. But I couldn't do anything about it. I was born that way, and whether he liked it or not, I would stay that way.

I held my head in my hands. Everything was so complicated, I had to find a way to make him understand what I had discovered, and fast. But how could I be sure that he would listen to me? And above all, that he would understand me? I was afraid of his reaction if I told him I had found the dragon's island. But on the other hand, I couldn't hide it from him.

And Toothless was still in their hands… It was a disaster. The more seconds that passed, the more I wondered how I would get out of this mess. How we would get out of this mess.

I absolutely had to force my father to listen to me. Determined, I moved forward and opened the heavy door. The two men immediately stopped talking, and stared at me with a serious look.

"What? What is happening, then?" I asked, even more worried. "Will you tell me why you're looking at me like that? And I want to see Toothless! Don't hurt him, leave him, he's not dangerous! Let him go, let me…"

"Hiccup! " my father cut me off. "Hiccup."

I froze. That tone… no, no. I felt a wave of panic growing inside me. Why was he talking to me with that tone and that… that look?

"What?" I asked again, nervous.

"The dragon," my father carried on. "Gobber tried to lock him, but he struggled, and…"

Oh my gods. Did he go away? I felt a bit of relief at this idea. He was certainly in a safe place, and I just had to go and find him later.

"He tried to kill Gobber…" my father continued.

So what? Gobber was well; he was standing there, in front of me.

"… who had to defend himself. Hiccup, the dragon is…"

No. I didn't want to hear that.

"Gobber killed him. The Night Fury is dead."

A stab. Right into the heart. Breath taken away. Pain. Intense pain. A cry. A desperate cry.

That's what this news caused me.

No.

No.

It was impossible. Not him, not Toothless! My dragon, my best friend! Dead!

My fault. It was my fault. He just wanted to protect me.

I felt a hole inside me. A big hole. Something had been broken. Something irreparable. A scar I would keep forever.

I couldn't feel anything anymore. Or rather, I could, but I felt so many things at the same time that I couldn't manage them.

Pain. Despair. Anger. Resentment. Bitterness. Loneliness. Powerlessness. Fury. Distress. Grief.

Everything was getting confused; I couldn't see anymore, I couldn't hear anymore; I just wanted to forget. Leave this world, escape, go far away.

Alone. Like I had always been. I didn't want to worry anybody anymore. Since my birth, I had only been an annoying, useless burden, for everyone. I had the talent of always messing things up, in any circumstance. And this time, I was paying the price for it. My dragon was paying the price for it.

Unfair. This was so unfair.

I felt weak. Incapable. Pathetic.

I closed my eyes, and let the despair grow inside me.

Alone.

I was alone.