Wow! Hope you guys enjoy!
Penpal,
I don't want to be writing this, but since I have to I'm going to make it worth the damn stamp money.
My name is Murdoc Alphonse Niccals, I'm a 14 year old boy from the Potteries. I'm average Cockney Skinhead trash and I like heavy metal and Satan. Everyone says I'm very smart and have untapped potential, though I could care less.
I live with my hellion of a brother, Hannibal and my perpetually drunk father. I may refer to my dad as "Pap" which I started doing merely sarcastically after finishing Huckleberry Finn. My mum is in a ward because she's crazy. She sees things that aren't there. Have you seen something that isn't there? I have. Jim Morrison at the edge of my bed. But I had a high fever, so it doesn't count.
Anyway, they put me in contact with you after I got out of the looney bin. No, I'm not crazy or anything (Jim Morrison was an isolated incident) I just talked a lot about how I wanted to snuff it and it scared my dad's girlfriend so she threw me in there to get rid of me. But I soon realized that I didn't belong in there and now here I am, Murdoc Niccals, back from the dead, baby.
I've seen some shit in my life. I had to hold down my mother to keep her from stabbing herself, I got bleach splashed in my eye as a baby so I'm partially blind. I can play the guitar and I'm getting good. I like the ocean and if I don't become a rock star, I want to sail.
I don't have many friends, really only one good one.
His name is Billyboy, he used to roll with the gangs in the slums of London. He wants to he a cop when he gets older. He's 16. Billy has beady black eyes and curly black hair that he wears long. He likes to wear old army fatigues and he also plays guitars. His prized procession is his switchblade, he chews a lot of gum and talks in Russian sometimes. He doesn't cut his hair like a normal skinhead, but he is one.
I get kicked around at school a lot, but that's okay. I have my wit and Satan to keep me safe.
What's it like in the US? I bet the music sucks. Is everyone fat? What's it like without the Beatles? I bet your accent is horrendous.
Sincerely and sensationally,
Murdoc
PS: I included a photo of myself.