He tilted his head back, desperate to catch one last glimpse of the stars. They were up there, sparkling against the dark night sky, but tonight they seemed further away than ever.
Far out of his reach.
He was slowly being dragged down into the icy depths, slowly being pulled underneath the black lake – the cold water was gradually sapping every ounce of his strength. He fought against the creatures valiantly, which clung onto him with a ferocious determination, but to no avail – he was one against too many.
The icy water was rising, he felt it reach his chin, and he took one last deep breath of air, before the water covered his mouth. He snatched one last fleeting look – his last sight before being sucked beneath the surface. He saw the teeming Inferi, and their haunting, expressionless faces. He saw the small rocky island, with jutting stones – the stone basin, containing the dreaded potion, the potion which made him go mad – see things he never wanted to see again –
Memories that should be forgotten - ought to be forgotten.
Tears slowly began to fill his dark eyes, as he felt himself sink even further.
And then, all he could see was the murky water of the lake.
He let a few bubbles escape, and immediately his lungs started screaming for air. He desperately tried to bring himself to the surface, but he was being held too tightly. He kicked his legs, thrashed his arms – but they refused to let go.
So he gave up.
There was so much he had never got to do. So many goodbyes, so many apologies.
His lungs were burning, soon he would have to open his mouth, and feel the cold water rush in.
And then he would be dead.
His life seemed so wasted. He could have done so much more.
He could feel himself slipping away; he was being absorbed into a dark, cold abyss – somewhere away from the constant torture, the decisions, and the regrets – Sirius…
With the last glimmer of life he had, before he had to open his mouth and let the water consume him – he thought of his elder brother. Sirius would never know about this night - no one would – and would always think of him as a coward – he would never know – he would always hate him –
Tears were washed away quickly, and the numb cold was taking over him.
And he was falling, falling into the darkness.