"More than a month passed, and every day got harder. I still hung on every breath she took, every word she said…." (a passage from Midnight sun by Stephenie Meyer) This is the line that inspired me to wonder what happened during those 6 weeks when Edward ignored Bella. This story takes place a few weeks after the van accident: (remember I am just playing with characters - I own nothing of the Twilight Enterprise,everything belongs to stephenie meyer... just playing around.) Just an overactive imagination:
One particular gloomy day I was watching Bella through the thoughts of others as she entered the cafeteria. She had on a button down cardigan sweater with a white tee under it. The buttons were undone at the top and the bottom of the sweater and it hugged her petite frame beautifully. The sweater itself was a deep ocean blue and exaggerated her fine features and pale color. She was exquisite. I had to turn and take one look for myself…. Pain and agony seared thru me as she took my breath away.
I was not the only one to notice how beautiful she looked today, and feelings of frustration and ire burned through me as I listened to the thoughts buzzing around me.
"Wow….who is that girl.. must be a sophmore or junior… hmm never noticed her before, look at that body.." from senior Ted Curtane.
"Uggh, I can NOT stand how the boys at the school continue to drool over HER… seriously… why??" Jessica Stanly commented snidely in her head.
"What I would do to just wrap my arms around her…. Have her snuggle against my chest… as I began to slide her sweater…." I stopped listening for fear of killing that Newton boy.
She took an apple and a coke from the line and sat next to the group of children she normally sat aside. Her slight appetite bothered me. I certainly hope she eats more at home. As she placed her flawless lips around the deep red apple I drew in a breathe…. I imagine this is what Eve looked like in the garden of knowledge…for I felt my will crumbling in that moment. Her chocolate brown eyes widened as they saw me staring and I could feel myself being lost in them.
"Oh for sick, if I could vomit I would…can you save your ogling for when we are not around you" Rosalie's commentary interrupted my reverie. And for this I was grateful. I looked away from the temptress and scowled at my sister. Then I focused on the table in front of me and ignored the banter of my siblings.
"Dude… just go talk to her or whatever. This is getting old" Emmett jabbed.
"The lust you were radiating for the past 5 minutes was seriously distracting. Alice is going to win… why fight it?" Jasper stated.
"She actually looks pretty good today, doesn't she? I wonder who helped her pick out that outfit… Of course I could have told you how much you would love that color on her.. but you wont listen to me…just imagine how she would look if…" I growled and glared at Alice. That was enough. I stood and marched out of the cafeteria. Thankful that lunch was ending, but dreading the next hour for sanity reasons.
Class started and to my surprise Bella was not seated next to me. I scanned the room and saw Newton in his chair, and he was of course looking at her empty seat with concern. Who was he to be concerened with my Bella. I mean Bella. She is not mine, nor will she ever be. Now anxiey began to plague me, where was the girl? She was too responsible to skip. Perhaps she fell down the stairs? Was she laying there hurt? Did she need – all of sudden her scent drifted towards me. Aaah… she was safe and now I needed to hold my breath.
She entered the class with a flushed expression of embarrassment. "I'm sorry Mr. Banner, I was – " her voice wavered. He waved her off and this infuriated me – for I wanted to know where she had been and now I would never know. "Excuses don't count Miss Swan, you are tardy. Take a slip." He curtly replied. "Yes Sir, sorry…" she mumbled and bit down on her bottom lip. Then she made her way towards our table without looking up and granting me even a second to look into her secrets.
Yes. Each day was harder.
I moped to my next class. For she did not look my way once during Biology. She had appeared down hearted after the tardy and I wanted to comfort her in so many ways. Ways I never could.
Emmett of course saw my dismay, but let me sulk. He did not probe me for what was currently wrong. My siblings had given up with my current moodiness and were for the most part ignoring me. Which suited me fine.
I rushed out of Spanish when the bell rang, ahead of Emmett. I would sit in my car, like the stalker I had become, and hope to catch a glimpse of the angel one more time for the day. The thought excited me. And that excitement made me loathe myself.
She made her way across the parking lot slowly and her face appeared hurt. What had happened? Newton was with her, carrying her bag and I wondered if He had hurt her? Why was he allowed to carry her bag? And then I saw what had happened in his thoughts…
"I cant believe she wont let me drive her home. Her hand is really swelling. They should just let her skip Gym… that spike was unneccesary…" he was rambling in his thoughts as he recalled their gym session. Some girl named Lauren was on the opposite team for volleyball and had identified Bella as a weak spot. I winced as I watched from Mike's memory as she drove the ball home in a vicious spike to Bella, and I gasped as the ball made a loud smack off her open hand as she tried to protect herself. Then the chagrin expression on her face as her eyes filled with tears. I could not tell if the the tears were from pain or embarrassment. Knowing the little I knew of her, I would assume the latter.
"Mike, I'm fine. Please. Just put my bag in my truck, and forget the whole thing!" she snapped at him.
"I really think you should be drove home. Look at your hand! Can you even move it?" he countered. And as much as I despised him, I agreed with him. She should not drive for that would be another danger, and it would be painful for her to maneuver her hand on that decrepit steering wheel. Perhaps I could at least offer her a ride … No! What was I thinking! I would just hope she would accept his offer. And yet, pray that she would not.
"I'm fine" she said through her teeth and widened her brown eyes, providing a new depth to them that I rather enjoyed.
"Fine! Don't complain about it hurting then," the boy retorted. I would have won this argument if I was in his shoes.
"I won't!" she barked back, and then her gaze softened and I thought she had changed her mind. "Thank you for your concern though…" she said in a more mild tone.
Newton sighed. Obviously no one could be upset with this girl. "Yeah…well, I hope it feels better. Make sure to put some ice on it, k?" and then he trudged away, obviously defeated.
I watched as she slid into her truck, being careful of her hand. However, this would be interesting since it was her dominant hand that was injured. She grasped her keys, and I winced in agony as she let out a small cry as she started up her beastly machine. Her cheeks were puffed out as she took another gulp of air and started to back out of her spot.
It took all of my willpower, and the fact that my siblings were now approaching my car, to make myself stay where I was. I wanted to run to her truck and drive her home. I would pick her up the next morning as well. I would drive her everywhere she needed to go, carry her books and bags, write her homework for her just so she did not have to feel that pain again. I was worried about her hand. What if it was broken? She needed to put it on ice, and I could offer her my cold hand to help hers heal.
But I knew that I could not do these things, for then my promise to her and to myself would be broken. I slammed my foot down on the gas pedal in frustration and the car lurched forward.
"Oh for pete's sake! Now what?? Your bi-polar behavior is really getting old" Rosalie taunted.
"She would accept a ride from you… I know she would and then maybe I could help her with her hair because she wont be able to do it herself for the next few days!" Alice thought. I snarled at her.
Once we were home, I took off on my daily run. I needed to get away from my thoughts, siblings, her…
As I ran, I was trying to free my thoughts, but they all centered around the girl. Colors were flying at me. The dark blue sweater, her white skin, chocolate brown eyes, deep red of the apple touching her lips, the blush of her embarrassment. If colors were not enough I began to see emotions and feel emotions. Her embarrasment, hurt, pain, boldness, annoyance, pain, kindness, pain…. The thought of her being in any sort of pain was killing me. Why? Why do I care so much for someone I know so little about. Why was every day getting harder and harder? How could I …love?... someone I barely knew.
It was dawn before I entered my house. Unanswered questions still swirling around me. I felt more confused now, and weaker than ever before.
Carlisle greeted me in the living room. "Good Morning my son" and his eyes flickered with concern to my distraught state. "Good Morning…" and chuckled darkly at the statement. There was nothing Good about this situation.
"I saw Bella last night. Treated her for a sprain. I am beginning to think she needs body armor…." he chortled in his thoughts.
"How did it look?" I asked instanly concerned and yet jealous that Carlisle saw her when I did not. That he got to acknowledge her pain and comfort that pain in some way, as I watched from the sidelines.
"She will be fine. Tough girl. Had to talk her into a brace for the wrist, and of course she refused anything for pain…" he thought as he remembered her wincing as he bent her wrist back and forth. In his memories, I could see her father standing there shaking his head, telling her to be more careful. "Thank you Carlisle for telling me, sharing with me…" I said as I walked away to get ready for school.
As we pulled up into the school parking lot, I looked around for her vehicle. It was not in sight. Had she needed to stay home today for the pain? I did not know if I would be able to go the entire day thru Hell without seeing her. "Oh, she is just running late," Alice thought as she got out of the car sharing her vision with me. I waited by my car as the others walked away annoyed with me. What's new? Who wasn't annoyed with me, I was annoyed with myself.
I watched with satisfaction as her truck pulled into the lot. Then to my anger I saw her park and then take the brace off her hand! What was she thinking? Had Carlisle not told her to keep that brace on for the next week? I watched as she flexed her hand and winced a bit, but I was having a hard time feeling sorry for her at this point. Why was the brace off? So she would not attract attention to herself? At this point who cares? It's just a brace! I could not watch this anymore. If she was going to inflict pain upon herself, then she would have to do so alone.
I watched her through the day to see if she put the brace back on, and of course she had not. Her hand did look better, but I could tell by the straight line of her mouth that it was bothering her. Perhaps I should say something to her at lunch, mention that Carlisle had said he saw her. No. I would not do that.
She entered the cafeteria, and looked at the lunch trays. She had been favoring her left hand all day, avoiding using the right. Picking up a tray was going to be difficult at this point. Instead she opted for an orange and soda. Once again, not meeting any type of nutrional need. I sighed aloud, and received glares from 3 of my siblings. Alice looked as concerned as I felt.
I then realized that watching her peel this orange was going to be interesting, and as she sat down I could tell by the look on her face she had not thought her choice through. She played with the orange with her left hand and rolled it back and forth on the table. She then took her cold soda and was using it for comfort on her right hand. I so badly wanted to replace that soda with my cold hands.
I then glanced at her eyes through her friends thoughts. She appeared tired, not well rested. I would guess the pain from her hand had kept her awake throught the night. I then noticed she was staring at me. I wanted to meet her gaze. Stare into her big brown eyes with my own eyes. Feel my fingertips graze her cheekbone and the warmth of her blu- "Edward, that's enough!" Jasper disrupted my daydream. Again. I nodded in his direction and accepted his advice. But I still felt blissful that she was staring at me. She had not forgotten me. Yet.
I was the first to arrive to Biology class for the second day in a row. I sat and waited impatiently for her to arrive. I had to get her to put that brace back on. She needed to wear it. I was going to have to talk to her. The bell rang, and she was late again?!
"Hmm, Bella Swan is tardy again? I am going to have to make it clear to that girl that her behavior is not acceptable" Mr. Banner was scolding in his thoughts. I felt an immediate need to protect her from his reprimand. Then she entered the room. "I'm sorry Mr Banner – Its just hard with my wrist" she said and to my surprise and delight she had the brace on.
"Well I cant really fault her for that, and she seems like such a nice girl… look at her eyes how they look so sincere and how delicate she looks.." the tone in the teachers thoughts were turning in a direction I did not care for and would NOT allow. "Very well Miss Swan, please take your seat," he said with a smirk. As she made her way towards me, it disgusted me to how this grown man was watching her. His eyes caught mine and I glared at him with all the revulsion that was brewing inside me. Alarmed he thought to himself, "what am I thinking? she is a kid! I hope Cullen didn't notice…why would he be looking at me like that? I better start the lecture.."
I was pleased that I was able to do something for Bella for once in these past few weeks. And waited for the chance to arise again.