Originally written Dec 1998
Title: Dissociation
Rating: T
Summary: The Vidiians abduct B'Elanna again. AU, P/T.
A/N: Thanks to Julie and Alice for beta-reading! :)
Historian's note: I have no idea when this story takes place. All I know is that Tom and B'Elanna are romantically involved, the Doc has a mobile holoemitter, Harry has Seven... (not really)
Ensign Murphy is that cute guy B'Elanna was admiring in "Prime Factors," and Jarvin is that guy in "Parallax" who told Chakotay he would support him in a mutiny. This story was inspired by "Faces" and "Lifesigns."
The away mission had become a disaster. For the past five days, the Vidiians had been pursuing them. More accurately, pursuing her. The Vidiians had made breakthrough medical progress in their efforts to cure the phage. They were so close to finding a cure that they now devoted all of their resources to the research instead of harvesting organs. All they needed was Klingon DNA to complete the final phase of research in development for a cure. Unfortunately for them, their only source of Klingon DNA was refusing to cooperate. B'Elanna Torres stood tensely, prepared to fight. Somehow they had ended up facing off with a team of Vidiians. At this point, the stand-off looked like a draw. No one budged. Even the Vidiian leader was uncertain as to what to do next. The two ensigns standing behind B'Elanna shifted nervously. She had reassured them that the Vidiians wouldn't try anything that would risk hurting her, that she was too valuable to them. So long as the ensigns stayed behind her, the Vidiians wouldn't open fire. B'Elanna grimly assessed the situation. Lieutenant Commander Smythe was already dead. Two other away team members had been missing for days, status unknown. Perhaps already taken to be harvested for their organs. B'Elanna pushed the thought away. It took all of her strength to do that, but the last thing she needed right now was speculate about what had happened to Tom and Ensign Taylor.
"Voyager to Torres," beeped her comm badge, barely audible through all the static. Not a moment too soon. B'Elanna sighed in relief. Finally, the comm systems were back on-line.
"Torres here. Three to beam up!" she shouted. They needed to get out of there immediately. But nothing happened. Apparently, Voyager was still having transporter difficulties.
"Wait!" a Vidiian scientist frantically exclaimed as he scrambled into the cavern, panting from the exertion and waving his arms around. B'Elanna's eyes narrowed and her gaze hardened as she recognized the Vidiian.
"Sulon," she hissed in fury. All the memories of the scientific experiments he had previously conducted on her flooded back. Her thoughts became murderous.
"B'Elanna," he said, still somewhat out of breath. "We meet again." She bared her teeth and growled at him in a murderous rage, and he backed away a few steps. "Don't leave just yet," he implored desperately. "I have a business proposition to make."
B'Elanna shook her head in disbelief. Was he crazy?!
"As you know, we are in the final stages of developing a cure for the phage. But we need your help..."
"And why would I want to help you?" B'Elanna snarled.
Sulon smiled slightly. B'Elanna had a bad feeling about all of this...
"We have something you might be interested in," Sulon informed her. On cue, two Vidiian guards entered, dragging in a human prisoner. They unceremoniously dropped the battered man onto the cave floor in a crumpled heap. As the semi-conscious figure groaned in pain and raised his head, B'Elanna and the ensigns behind her gasped. All of the color drained from B'Elanna's face as she gazed upon the bruised and bloodied face of Tom Paris.
"Where's Ensign Taylor?" she demanded to Sulon, steeling her voice.
Sulon shook his head. "Dead," he said. "She was not as fortunate as Mr. Paris to be found by us." B'Elanna glared at him, feeling helpless. She was torn between wanting to run over to Tom's side and wanting to wring Sulon's neck.
"Mr. Paris and the ensigns are free to return safely to Voyager if you agree to stay with us and aid us in our medical research," Sulon continued.
"And if I refuse?" she ground out through clenched teeth.
Sulon shrugged. "I've been looking for a new face..." he said, gesturing towards Tom. "I rather like his. As do you, I'm sure," he finished, smug and sinister. B'Elanna stiffened, remembering what had happened to Lieutenant Durst the last time Sulon had said that.
"All right," she reluctantly said at last. "I accept." Sulon signaled the guards and they roughly picked Tom up and deposited him on the ground near her feet. B'Elanna knelt down beside him and tenderly stroked his bruised cheek. "Tom," she said softly. He opened his eyes slightly, trying to focus on her face.
"B'Elanna." His whisper was barely audible.
"Shhh..." she said soothingly. Her brow creased with worry as she realized just how badly injured he was. "We've got to get you back to Voyager," she said. "Come on. The ensigns will take you back."
"No... B'Elanna, you can't stay here!" Tom whispered urgently, clutching her arm.
"Don't worry, everything will be fine," she reassured him. She bent down to kiss him lightly on the lips, then motioned for the ensigns to help him to the shuttle. They carried him off as he continued to protest. She watched them leave, her heart wrenching. I love you, she silently cried out to him, closing her eyes as the shuttle took off.
B'Elanna followed Sulon and the guards to his lab, hoping that she had made the right decision. Of course she had made the right decision, she reassured herself. She would do anything to save Tom. No matter how difficult this would be, she knew that she would survive it. Sulon had assured her that she would not be harmed, and that after he had finished with his research, he would restore her to her original self and return her to Voyager. She wasn't entirely sure that she could trust him, but at this point, she didn't have a choice. They arrived at the heavily guarded lab, and Sulon keyed his security codes in. The doors opened with a whoosh to reveal a female Vidiian working on some lab samples. The woman turned around, and B'Elanna gasped as she recognized the Vidiian. It was Dr. Danara Pel. Dr. Pel smiled as she saw B'Elanna.
"Hello, B'Elanna," she greeted warmly.
"What are you doing here?" B'Elanna asked, confused.
"I've been working with Dr. Sulon to find a cure for the phage," said Danara gently. "The brain tissue sample you so graciously donated to save my life has permitted us to make incredible progress in our efforts. I can't thank you enough for agreeing to help us."
"I didn't have much choice," B'Elanna said tightly. "Sulon here threatened to kill Tom if I didn't cooperate." Pain flitted across her features momentarily, but then her face hardened again.
Surprised, Danara turned to Sulon. "Is that true, Sulon?" she asked, a chastising note in her voice.
Sulon merely shrugged. "It was necessary," he said brusquely before going into the adjoining room.
Danara frowned, remembering the handsome young lieutenant that she had so recently treated for life-threatening injuries. She recalled Sulon saying something about how it was crucial to keep Paris alive, but she hadn't understood what he'd been planning until this moment. Now it was obvious to Danara that B'Elanna had a soft spot in her heart for Tom Paris, and that keeping him alive was the only reason she had agreed to cooperate.
"I'm sorry, B'Elanna," Danara said sadly. "I didn't know." She shook her head. "Sulon didn't tell me. Probably because he knew I wouldn't approve. He and I don't always see eye-to-eye," she sighed. "When Tom was brought here, he was critically injured. He'd lost a lot of blood. I was afraid that we wouldn't be able to save him."
"You treated his injuries?" B'Elanna asked. Danara nodded. B'Elanna closed her eyes, remembering how Tom had looked just before they had parted. Bruised and battered, but most definitely very much alive.
"Thank you for saving his life," B'Elanna said quietly to Danara. Danara gave her a small smile.
When B'Elanna awoke, she didn't quite feel like herself. She blinked her eyes a few times to clear her vision, then sat up. On a nearby biobed, she spotted her human self, still unconscious. Danara came over to her side, monitoring her lifesigns.
"How are you feeling, B'Elanna?" Danara asked her.
"Fine," the Klingon replied gruffly. She contemplated her human counterpart for a long moment. "Is she all right?" she asked Danara with some concern.
"She's perfectly fine. Don't worry, she'll be awake soon." Danara smiled at Klingon B'Elanna reassuringly. "I'd like to run some tests on you now." B'Elanna nodded. She kept her eyes on her human self.
A short while later, human B'Elanna slowly woke, feeling thoroughly drained. She turned her head slightly and noticed her Klingon counterpart and Dr. Pel watching her anxiously.
"How are you feeling?" Danara asked, scanning her.
"I'm all right," she sighed. "Just tired." They were silent for a while as Danara examined the latest test results.
"So, how's Schmullis?" Danara asked conversationally as she administered a hypo to Klingon B'Elanna, then to human B'Elanna.
"Who?" The Klingon and the human exchanged confused glances.
"Your doctor, Dr. Schmullis," Danara repeated, continuing to work.
"Oh... The Doctor. He's fine," said human B'Elanna as she realized that Danara was referring to the EMH.
At that moment, Sulon entered the lab. He seemed greatly preoccupied, but the sight of his Klingon specimen brightened his mood considerably. He clapped his hands together gleefully. "I see that the procedure was a success. Wonderful!"
Both the Klingon and the human glared at him fiercely. Unfazed, Sulon walked over to Klingon B'Elanna, admiring her as though she were a work of art, a masterpiece.
"I'm delighted that you decided to stay," he continued.
"I only agreed to this to save Tom," the Klingon reminded him.
"Ah, yes. Your beloved Tom Paris." Sulon said mockingly. "What do you see in him, anyway? He can't possibly be capable of satisfying your – how did you put it? – your 'voracious sexual appetite.'"
"P'taq!" Outraged, Klingon B'Elanna advanced on Sulon dangerously. "How dare you!" She was ready to tear him to pieces. But human B'Elanna grabbed her arm.
"He's not worth it," she told her Klingon counterpart.
Danara shot Sulon a disapproving look.
He retreated. "I... I'll be in the other lab, Dr. Pel," he said hastily, backing out of the room. Klingon B'Elanna still looked ready to attack him.
Danara and human B'Elanna tried their best to calm her down.
"Sulon is jealous that he'll never be the object of your affections," Danara confided to Klingon B'Elanna. "He admires you tremendously."
The Klingon was not appeased. "He has a strange way of showing it," she said.
Danara sighed sadly. "He's been ill a long time. The phage and the constant state of sickness that it brings has damaged his self-esteem. Sulon behaves in such an ugly manner because of the terrible way that others treat him. Even though he's a brilliant scientist and doctor, people don't bother to look beyond his illness. Instead, they condemn him because he has the phage. It's made him terribly insecure. We're outcasts among our people. Those who don't have the phage are afraid of us, and those who do have it don't get along because there is so much competition for new organs."
"I'm sorry," said human B'Elanna compassionately.
Danara smiled weakly at her. "Please don't think that I'm saying that Sulon is justified in behaving the way he does. I'm not. I don't approve of Sulon's behavior either, but I can understand why he's like that. I know how he feels, because I've been treated that way, too. It tears you up inside. You start to think that you're not worth anything, that you're just a disease." She paused, lost in thought.
The Klingon and the human exchanged glances. They could remember many times when they had been treated unfairly because of their mixed heritage, and how much it had damaged their self-esteem.
"Schmullis was the only person who saw past my illness to the real me... He saw someone worth something, worth loving, even. He didn't care about the way I looked, because he thought I was beautiful inside. I will never forget that," said Danara.
Klingon B'Elanna nodded in understanding. "I have always been self-conscious about the way I look," she said. "I was always different, and people would stare. It made me so uncomfortable..."
"I never thought that anyone would find me beautiful," human B'Elanna chimed in. "Until I met Tom..."
Danara said, "You must love him very much."
Klingon and human both nodded.
"It's wonderful that you and Tom have each other. You must be so happy together on Voyager. Such a wonderful ship." Danara smiled. "I don't think I've ever been happier than when I was on Voyager. Schmullis took me to so many places. One of my favorite was the Mars holoprogram. We went 'parking' there."
Klingon and human B'Elanna nodded appreciatively, exchanging knowing glances. It was a program they knew well.
"That's one of Tom's favorite programs," human B'Elanna said, almost dreamily. Her lips curved into a soft smile at the memory.
"We've been there several times," acquiesced the Klingon with a gleam in her eye.
Danara laughed. "It's so romantic there. And Schmullis was so charming and sweet... He gave me all these presents and –" She broke off when she realized that B'Elanna and B'Elanna were staring at her, wide-eyed. They had never expected to hear anyone ever describe the Doctor that way. Prickly, yes. Fastidious, or obsessive, even. But 'charming and sweet?'
"He's also a brilliant physician and researcher," said Danara briskly. It served no purpose for her to be nostalgic now. She could never see him again. She pursed her lips, feeling somber. "I wish that he could be here now. He would be of great help to me in our research. It would make everything go so much faster," she said wistfully, almost to herself.
Klingon and human B'Elannas looked at each other again, the same thought occurring to them at the same time.
"That could be arranged," said human B'Elanna. Danara turned to look at her in surprise.
"We could bring him here to help you," agreed Klingon B'Elanna.
"Schmullis can leave Voyager? How – how is that possible?" asked Danara, amazed. "I thought he could only exist in Sickbay or on the holodeck?"
"He has a mobile holo-emitter now," explained human B'Elanna. "He can go anywhere. Including here."
Danara stood there for a moment, digesting the information. "I'll talk to Sulon about it immediately," she said, rushing out of the room.
The two B'Elannas smiled at each other.
Meanwhile, on Voyager, the senior officers were convening in the conference room. Lieutenant Paris had just given his report on the away mission.
"Thank you, Mr. Paris," said Captain Janeway. "I've just received a transmission from the Vidiians." She paused as the other officers exchanged worried glances.
"I've been negotiating with them for B'Elanna's release. However, they have refused, on the grounds that Dr. Sulon has stated that B'Elanna chose to stay there of her own free will."
"WHAT?! That's ridiculous!" Tom was furious. The others protested as well.
Captain Janeway held up a hand for silence. The room quieted down immediately.
"I agree, but the Vidiians are determined to complete their research. I think it would be in our best interests to work with them right now. We've received a request from Drs. Sulon and Danara Pel that our Doctor join them at their lab to assist with the medical research."
"Why? Is something wrong with B'Elanna?" Tom asked anxiously.
"She's fine. Or rather, they're fine, considering that they split her into separate Klingon and human individuals again. But Sulon and Danara seem to think that the Doctor could provide insights that would hasten the research process. They promise to safely return both B'Elanna and the Doctor once the research is completed, which should be soon. Apparently, it was B'Elanna's idea to invite the Doctor."
"It could be a trap," Tuvok cautioned.
The Doctor objected. "If it were only Sulon, then I might agree with you. But Danara is different. She truly cares about helping others. Remember how she helped us obtain the cure for Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay's illness?"
"All of our current information suggests that the Vidiians are more interested in finding the cure than harming us," Chakotay pointed out.
"If we sent the Doctor, we could trace him to their lab and make a rescue attempt," Tom suggested excitedly.
"That would not be a logical course of action," Tuvok replied. "The Vidiian lab is undoubtedly under high security."
The debate continued. Finally, Captain Janeway held up her hand for silence again.
"The Vidiians have also offered to open up trade negotiations with us. They are willing to have us beam down for shore leave and negotiations on a nearby planet. I think it would be beneficial to all of us if we accepted their offer," she said.
"The crew could use some shore leave," Commander Chakotay said.
"As for the Doctor's mission... Well, it's up to you, Doctor," Captain Janeway said.
"I'll go," he replied. The captain nodded her approval. Tom breathed a sigh of relief.
"They've offered to send a ship to escort the Doctor's shuttle to the lab. Commander Chakotay and I will beam down to begin negotiations. Everyone else, prepare for shore leave. Dismissed."
The Doctor cautiously stepped out of the shuttlecraft. It was the first time that he had ever piloted a shuttlecraft by himself. Sulon had agreed to allow the Doctor to join them, on the condition that he come alone. Fortunately, the Doc had been taking flying lessons from Lieutenant Paris and managed to get the shuttle there in one piece. He was quickly escorted to the lab.
"Schmullis!" Danara's face brightened as the Doctor entered the lab. She ran to him and hugged him affectionately. He returned the hug, somewhat surprised at the intensity of her reaction, but pleased nonetheless. "It's good to see you."
"It's good to see you too, Danara," he said warmly. The other two occupants of the lab, the two B'Elannas, greeted him as well. Sulon was noticeably absent.
"Doctor, I'd like to check your mobile emitter," human B'Elanna said, going over to him. He assented. While B'Elanna ran a diagnostic on the emitter, Danara filled him in on their research progress.
"How's Tom?" B'Elanna and B'Elanna wanted to know.
"Lieutenant Paris has fully recovered from his injuries. And he'd better stay that way. I left him in charge of my Sickbay," the Doctor said in typical fashion. Human and Klingon both chuckled at that.
"He'll be fine," human B'Elanna said with an affectionate smile. Her Klingon counterpart nodded in agreement, but the Doctor was not entirely convinced.
Sickbay was empty when Harry entered, limping. At first, he didn't see Tom, who was rummaging through the medical supply closet.
"Tom?"
"Over here, Harry," said Tom tiredly. "What happened to you?"
"Uh... I was teaching Seven how to play hoverball. She got a little overenthusiastic and knocked me down," Harry muttered, embarrassed.
"You were playing hoverball with Seven?" Tom looked at Harry in disbelief.
Harry shrugged. He decided to change the subject. "How are you holding up?"
It was Tom's turn to shrug.
"She'll be fine," Harry reassured him soothingly. "The Doc will help them with the cure for the phage, and they'll be back in no time."
Tom wasn't comforted. He was terrified of losing her, as he had lost so many others that he deeply cared about. "I just can't stop worrying about her."
"You have to. You can't do anything about it, so it's no use worrying. I'm sure she's all right."
Tom was visibly upset. He shook his head. "You weren't there in that Vidiian prison. You don't know what they did to her, what it was like for her to be split up like that. The entire experience traumatized her. And because of me, she has to go through it all over again!"
Harry spoke firmly. "Listen to me. B'Elanna will be fine. She's strong, and she's survived this before. They're not going to hurt her."
"You don't understand. This all my fault!" Tom shouted angrily.
"What do you mean, it's all your fault?"
"If it hadn't been for me, she wouldn't have had to stay. She traded herself for my safety."
"Well, of course she traded herself for you. She loves you!" Harry exclaimed.
Tom shook his head again. "She should have just left me there," he said bitterly.
"It's not your fault, Tom. There wasn't anything you could have done. Stop blaming yourself!"
"I can't help it, Harry." Tom sank down into his chair, distraught and consumed with guilt. "If anything happens to her, I'll never forgive myself."
Days passed. But in those few short days, the three doctors had made incredible progress. The experimental treatment showed great promise. So much that the Doctor concluded that he and the two B'Elannas were no longer needed for the research process. However, Sulon was not quite ready to let them go yet. The Doc wondered if he ever would be. If not, then he and B'Elanna and B'Elanna would have to make their escape.
The human and the Klingon had grown increasingly grumpy with each other. They were restless, having nothing to do in the lab. The Doctor worried about their psychological well-being. He wanted to get them back to Voyager and re-integrated as soon as possible. Their constant sniping at each other was making him edgy as well.
One evening, alone with Danara, he broached the subject.
"Danara, as much as I enjoy spending time with you, B'Elanna and B'Elanna and I have to get back to Voyager as soon as possible. I believe that the research is complete enough that we're no longer really needed here," he told her quietly. "All this has been difficult for B'Elanna. I'm worried about what this will do to her psychologically. Last time, the effects of the separation were emotionally devastating for her. It's been even more traumatic this time. Remember how reluctant she was to donate even a gram of brain tissue when you were on Voyager? She certainly wouldn't have agreed to participate in the research if it hadn't been for the powerful motivating factors involved –"
"I know. She did it for Tom," Danara responded. "She loves him very much. Sulon knew that. I think he spent a lot of time looking for a weakness in her... and he found it. And now he doesn't want to give her up. He's in love with her himself. The Klingon, I mean. He wants to keep her that way, so he can keep her with him. He's like an artist who's fallen in love with his own creation."
"Like Pygmalion..." the Doctor mused.
Danara looked confused. "Pygmalion?"
"A legendary Terran sculptor who created a woman so perfect that he ended up falling in love with her. The gods granted his wish by bringing her to life, and she fell in love with him. But that's not going to happen here," the Doctor said firmly. "The Klingon is only part of the individual that is B'Elanna Torres. It's not right to keep them separated as human and Klingon! We both know that."
She closed her eyes for a moment. She knew he was right. "I know," she replied softly. "Sulon is wrong to keep you here. You and B'Elanna have helped us so much. This cure wouldn't have been possible without your cooperation. We should send you back to Voyager immediately."
"Will you help us, Danara?"
"Of course I'll help you, Schmullis. But I will miss you," she said, eyes filling with tears. "It's been so wonderful to be with you again..." She knew that she would probably never see him again. He hugged her gently, kissing her forehead.
"I'll miss you too," he said.
With Danara's help, the Doctor and the two B'Elannas managed to escape in their shuttle. The Vidiians pursued them for a while, but then realized that it wasn't worth it, that they should be focusing their resources on their medical research.
So the three of them returned safely to Voyager. While the Doc began to figure out how he would re-integrate the Klingon and the human, the two B'Elannas went looking for Tom Paris.
Tom was in his quarters, brooding. Ever since he had returned from the away mission a few days ago he had been in a lousy mood. His physical injuries had healed, but the emotional wounds ran deep. He still blamed himself for its disastrous outcome. Remembering how traumatic it had been for B'Elanna to be split into her Klingon and human selves the first time around, he cursed himself for making her go through it again. He had felt so helpless on that Vidiian colony. Even now, having heard that the Doc and B'Elanna and B'Elanna had made it back to Voyager unharmed didn't really make him feel any better. He felt as though he had failed B'Elanna. He wasn't sure if he could face her. Or them, rather, since the Klingon and the human still existed independently of each other until the Doctor could find a way to re-integrate them.
The door chimed, interrupting his thoughts.
"Come in," he said listlessly. The doors slid open and there stood B'Elanna. Both of them, human and Klingon, standing in his doorway staring at him. He froze at this unexpected sight.
"Tom," B'Elanna and B'Elanna said in unison.
"B'Elanna...?" He looked back and forth between the two of them, unsure as to how to address them. The two B'Elannas entered the room, refusing to look at each other. They were clearly annoyed with each other, having had to spend the last few days in close company not getting along.
"This is going to get confusing," muttered human B'Elanna.
"Well, then, why don't you leave!" snapped Klingon B'Elanna.
"Why should I have to leave?!" countered human B'Elanna, thoroughly irritated.
"Well, I'm certainly not leaving!" Klingon B'Elanna told her. She glared at her human counterpart, ready for a confrontation.
"So that means I should? You think you can tell me what to do, just because you're bigger and stronger? Well, you're wrong. I refuse to be intimidated by you!" human B'Elanna shot back.
Klingon B'Elanna looked furious. "P'taq!" she spat out. She took a step towards human B'Elanna, who looked a little nervous but refused to back down.
"Calm down," said human B'Elanna, exasperated. "This is no way to resolve things. Why do you always have to lose your temper?!"
"Why do you always have to blame our problems on my temper?! Can't you ever see anything positive in me?!" Klingon B'Elanna asked. "You're not exactly faultless yourself!"
"I never said that I was!" human B'Elanna retorted hotly.
Listening to them argue with each other was more than Tom could stand. Mumbling an apology, he raced out of the room, leaving the two B'Elannas to stare open-mouthed after him. They turned to glare at each other for a long moment.
"This is all your fault!" snarled Klingon B'Elanna.
"My fault?!" exclaimed human B'Elanna incredulously. "I'm not the one who scared him away!"
Klingon B'Elanna growled menacingly. "How dare you accuse me of chasing him away, p'taq! Just leave me alone!" she shouted before stomping out of the room.
"Fine! I don't want to have anything to do with you anyway!" human B'Elanna yelled after her. She fled in the opposite direction, tears streaming down her face.
"Doctor to Captain Janeway. Please come to Sickbay immediately."
Captain Janeway entered Sickbay. Klingon B'Elanna was pacing around, while human B'Elanna was sitting on a biobed, arms crossed, talking to Chakotay. Both B'Elannas were scowling. The captain looked back and forth between the two of them.
"What's wrong?" she wanted to know.
The Doctor sighed. "It seems that Lieutenant Torres and Lieutenant Torres have had a difference of opinion and refuse to be re-integrated," he informed her, considerably annoyed. He had spent all of his time trying to figure out a way to re-integrate them, and now that he had made a breakthrough, his patients were being difficult. Captain Janeway did not look pleased to hear this. She was about to tell him to re-integrate them anyway when Chakotay pulled her aside.
"Captain, they're both very upset right now. I don't think it'd be a good idea to force them to be re-integrated right now. They'd definitely resist," he told her quietly. Captain Janeway opened her mouth to protest, but Chakotay cut her off. "Trust me. I know B'Elanna. They'll cool down soon enough. We just need to give them a little time to sort things out, that's all."
"But what about B'Elanna's duties?" the captain asked, clearly dissatisfied with Chakotay's suggestion.
"The human wants to go back to working in Engineering. As for the Klingon, Tuvok has requested that she train as a security officer for the time being," said Chakotay.
Captain Janeway contemplated this turn of events. "All right," she said at last. "Assign them separate quarters for now. But if they don't settle their differences soon, I'll have to do something about it."
Chakotay nodded reassuringly and went to tell the two B'Elannas and the Doctor the captain's decision.
The Klingon and the human were arguing over who should get to keep the vase B'Elanna had bought on Prana III during their last shore leave when the door chimed.
"Come in," they said in unison, still glowering at each other.
Tom entered cautiously, having heard their raised voices as he had stood outside their door. He stopped short. Her quarters were a mess, since they were in the midst of a packing frenzy. His heart sank.
"B'Elanna... The Doctor just told me that the two of you don't want to be re-integrated. Is that true?" But he already knew the answer.
They nodded. "We're moving to separate quarters," human B'Elanna affirmed.
"The sooner the better," added the Klingon.
"Don't you think you two should talk about this some more before making such a drastic decision? I understand that you're both angry at each other right now, but that's no reason to –"
They paid him no heed. "It's for the best. We can't even stand to be around each other for more than a few minutes!" human B'Elanna interrupted him.
"We always end up arguing."
"We've never gotten along."
"And now we don't have to!"
"This is what's best for both of us."
Tom was starting to lose his temper. "B'Elanna, B'Elanna, you can't just run away from each other. That isn't going to solve anything!"
"It solves everything! You don't know how many times I've wished that I were fully human instead of half-human, half-Klingon. And now I am!"
"But the Klingon is part of who you are!" Tom yelled.
"Not anymore," human B'Elanna shot back.
"I'd rather be a full Klingon than have to deal with her all the time. At least other people respect me. She doesn't. She's always resented me."
"Can you really blame me? I've had good reason to!"
"I've had good reason to resent you, too! You think you're so perfect! Well, you're not!"
This wasn't working. Tom decided to try a different approach. "Well, what about us?" he demanded. "What we have together... are you just going to throw that away?"
It was clearly the wrong thing to say. "After all I've been through the last few weeks... that's all you can think about?!" Klingon B'Elanna growled.
Even human B'Elanna looked indignant. "You have a lot of nerve, you selfish pig!"
"Get out!" the Klingon ordered him.
"Don't worry, I'm leaving," he retorted. "If you want to destroy your life like this, I can't stop you."
Tom entered the mess hall with Harry, looking around for B'Elanna. Either of them. He couldn't believe that they had refused to be re-integrated.
He froze in the doorway, not believing the sight that met his eyes. Human B'Elanna was sitting at a cozy corner table with Ensign Murphy. She was giggling. Murphy was flirting with her, hanging on her every word. He seemed absolutely enchanted by her. On the opposite side of the room, Klingon B'Elanna was lunching with Jarvin, one of her Maquis friends who also happened to be a fellow security officer. They were laughing heartily. Neither B'Elanna seemed to notice that Tom and Harry had just arrived. Tom felt as though he had been punched in the stomach. Could it be that the two B'Elannas hated each other so much that they didn't ever want to be re-integrated? They seemed to be thoroughly enjoying themselves and their separate identities.
He was also angry. Did he really mean so little to them? How could B'Elanna forget what they had together so easily? He thought that their relationship had meant something to her. Obviously, he had been wrong.
Harry noticed what was happening and quickly led Tom through the cafeteria line, and then to a center table. Uh-oh, thought Harry. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Tom hadn't said anything for several minutes.
"Tom?" Harry tried to get his friend's attention. He wanted to lighten the mood. "I know that Neelix's cooking isn't that great, but..." he trailed off as Tom suddenly stood up, his face impassive.
"Sorry, Harry, I'm not very hungry right now," Tom said tightly as he moved to leave the mess hall, leaving Harry to stare worriedly after him.
Out of the corner of her eye, human B'Elanna watched Tom leave. Her heart ached.
She had been tremendously upset this morning. Just about everyone on the ship knew that she and Tom had broken up. Ensign Murphy had discovered her crying in a Jefferies tube earlier and kindly offered to listen to her problems.
B'Elanna enjoyed Murphy's attentiveness and efforts to make her feel comfortable, adjust to being fully human. And she had always thought he was adorable. Not as adorable as Tom, of course. There was just no comparison. No matter how much she tried to convince herself, there was just no escaping from the truth. But it was over between her and Tom. He had made that clear enough.
She tried to concentrate on what Ensign Murphy was saying, but all she could think about was Tom.
Klingon B'Elanna had also noticed Tom's sudden departure, and it upset her.
She had been having a difficult time this morning as well. It was difficult enough having to adjust to remaining as a full Klingon for the rest of her life without also having to worry about her broken heart. Confused, irate, and discouraged, she had taken out her anger on just about every unsuspecting crewmember who had been unfortunate enough to be in her vicinity.
Jarvin had reassured her that everything would turn out fine. If only she could believe that. But it seemed to her that nothing would ever be fine again, not without Tom.
Frowning, she turned her attention back to Jarvin.
Main Engineering was in chaos. Human B'Elanna sighed. She knew what had to get done. She just wasn't being assertive enough with her crew. They were scurrying around everywhere, looking lost. She wished that she could block out all of her fears and emotional turmoil as effectively as she did when she was half-Klingon. Being fully human made her nervous, less confident. She had worked so hard all these years to control her Klingon half, constantly frustrated by how easily she lost her temper because of it, and how negatively other people reacted. But being fully human was irritating sometimes. Yes, she felt more at peace with herself, but why did she have to be so agreeable all the time? She couldn't get anything done, having to stop, listen and respond to everyone's suggestions and make sure she didn't hurt their feelings even when their ideas were absolutely ridiculous. She was spending way too much time worrying about what they thought of her. Damn it, she was supposed to be in charge here. But she felt totally out of control. She didn't want people to think they could walk all over her, but they seemed to be doing it anyway. She felt as though her crew didn't take her as seriously, that they didn't respect her as much. And it was frustrating. If only she could show them that she meant business, that she was still as effective a leader as she had always been. Then they wouldn't be taking advantage of her like this.
She had never fully realized how much she owed to her Klingon half. It had made her strong. Of course, she had suffered discrimination and mistrust because of her Klingonness, but it was an important part of her. It had allowed her to become everything she was. I could use her help now, human B'Elanna thought, fidgeting nervously as yet another panicky ensign gave her his latest report. They were all on edge today. Her uncertainty and lack of confidence was affecting her crew.
Finally, the chaos calmed down somewhat. Relieved, human B'Elanna left at the end of her shift. She had agreed to meet Ensign Murphy for dinner. He was so devoted to her, she thought with a smile, trying to forget the stress of the day and the pain in her heart. He's a good man, she told herself. Murphy accepted her and liked her, despite her weaknesses. He was just what she needed right now. But her heart remained unconvinced. He's not Tom, a little voice reminded her.
Tom. He was constantly in her thoughts. She sighed again. She loved him so much. No one else brought such tenderness to her heart. His kindness and gentle nature had always appealed to her human side. He could always see how vulnerable she really was under the hard, intimidating exterior. It amazed her that he could be so caring and protective of her when everyone else thought she could take care of herself and left her to do so. Of course, she could easily take care of herself, but her human heart longed for a close companion who could comfort and protect her. Someone who wanted to be with her, to take care of her. Someone like Tom. He made her feel completely safe; he was always reassuring and could put her at ease. Whenever she rested in his strong embrace, she was utterly content, secure in his love for her...
But she hadn't talked to him since that horrific scene with her Klingon counterpart in her quarters a few days ago. He seemed to be avoiding her. And why shouldn't he be? the little voice inside her head asked scornfully. What could he possibly see in you? You're not very interesting. You're weak, and you're practically afraid of your own shadow. She shook her head, trying to clear her mind. But the voice continued to taunt her.
Meanwhile, Klingon B'Elanna was going through Security team training drills in the Holodeck with Tuvok and other Security personnel. She fidgeted, feeling restless. Though she enjoyed the duties of Security, it was difficult to restrain herself from using excessive force. Well, excessive where humans were concerned, anyway. Humans were so fragile, she thought to herself. She hadn't really meant to hurt that ensign in that last training drill, but apparently she had been too rough in escorting him to the brig. He had looked completely petrified with fear. Tuvok had reprimanded her over that and other similar incidents. Though it was liberating to be completely Klingon and able to express herself freely, she wished that she had more self-restraint, more patience as she did when she was half-human. She had been battling her human side for so long that it felt strange not to be fighting herself anymore. She felt somewhat lost. Sometimes she was so frustrated that she just wanted to hit something. Or someone. But she couldn't do that. Life on this starship was just not fit for a Klingon warrior such as herself, she sighed.
Fortunately, Jarvin was there to support and encourage her. She didn't know what she'd do without him. They had been good friends in the Maquis but hadn't had much opportunity to spend time together since they had arrived on Voyager. Until now. She had almost forgotten how much she loved his sense of humor. He could always make her laugh and lighten her mood. He was a wonderful friend. But she still felt like there was something important missing. She knew what it was. She enjoyed Jarvin's company, but he wasn't Tom.
Tom. There wasn't anyone quite like him. No one could inspire her and also aggravate her as much as he did. He was always there to encourage her. No matter how many times she pushed him away, lost her temper at him, gave him reason to hate her, he always came back to her. He never gave up on her, even when she was ready to give up on herself. He was fascinated by her Klingon heritage and refused to let her deny it. That never ceased to amaze her. Everyone else was usually highly intimidated by her Klingon strength and violent temper, but he wasn't afraid of her. He never had been. Sometimes she even thought he actually liked arguing with her. He loved and accepted her for who she was, and that meant a great deal to her. He was honorable, loyal, courageous... certainly worthy of a Klingon. And she loved him more than anything.
But he seemed to be avoiding her. She sighed. Who was she kidding. No matter how much he might like Klingon culture, there was no way that he would ever be able to handle her, a full-blooded Klingon woman. Just like her father hadn't been able to handle her mother, Klingon B'Elanna thought bitterly. Tom was strong for a human, but he was a human nonetheless. And humans were just too fragile for Klingon-style courtship with full-blooded Klingons. It was too much to ask. She doubted that he would even find her that attractive as a full-blooded Klingon. Better to stay away from him and resist the temptation to throw heavy objects at him, to throw him against a wall and... No. She stopped herself from finishing the thought. Besides, she didn't have time to think about that right now. She was supposed to meet Jarvin on the holodeck to work out in the Klingon martial arts program.
The holographic bartender refilled their glasses again. Harry wondered to himself if he shouldn't stop him from doing that. He didn't want to drink too much, and Tom had already passed that point hours ago.
"What am I supposed to do, Harry?" Tom asked miserably. He had thought it over some more and concluded that it was all his fault. "Neither of them will talk to me, or each other. They both blame me for what they had to go through in the Vidiian lab and their current condition. They both hate me. And they have good reason to. None of this would have happened if it hadn't been for me."
"Stop being ridiculous," Harry said, exasperated. Tom had been going on like this for hours, drowning his troubles in alcohol at Sandrine's. "I'm sure they don't blame you for any of this. B'Elanna loves you. That's why she was willing to sacrifice herself for you. It was her decision. This isn't your fault."
"Yeah, well, obviously they've both decided that I wasn't worth the sacrifice," Tom said bitterly, downing another shot. "Human B'Elanna is always with that insufferable Ensign Murphy, and Klingon B'Elanna is inseparable from Jarvin."
Harry shook his head. In the early years, B'Elanna had often commented on how good-looking Murphy was. Harry had noticed her eyeing the young ensign appreciatively on more than one occasion. But that was so long ago, Harry thought. Nothing had ever happened between them since Ensign Murphy had always seemed half-afraid of B'Elanna. He was a rather quiet and unassuming fellow, kind to everyone but not very extroverted. Apparently, he found the human version of B'Elanna Torres extremely appealing, though. He was constantly at her side, following her around adoringly. Which wasn't too surprising, Harry mused. Half the men on Voyager found the human B'Elanna absolutely fascinating. She was brilliant, sweet, warm, funny, and so seemingly fragile that she invoked a protective streak in all the men in her vicinity. Wherever she went, there were always young men rushing to her side, eager to be of any assistance.
As for the Klingon B'Elanna, she was usually surrounded by former Maquis. Though it had been a long time since they had considered themselves solely Maquis, Klingon B'Elanna's rebellious streak and zest for life reminded them of how their lives used to be. It made them nostalgic for the good old days in the Maquis. Jarvin and B'Elanna had always been especially good friends, so it wasn't all that surprising that she was frequently in his company these days. Harry couldn't help wonder if there was a little more than friendship going on there, though. He had heard a lot of rumors lately. He shook his head. Poor Tom. He felt sorry for his best friend but didn't think there was much he could do to help. Or that anyone could. B'Elanna and B'Elanna had to settle their own differences before they could resolve things with Tom.
Harry suddenly sat up. Maybe that was the answer, he thought excitedly.
"Tom, why don't the three of you get together and talk about this calmly? You can help them settle their differences."
Tom was finishing yet another drink. "I don't think that's such a good idea. Why would they listen to me?"
"They'll listen to you. You helped them last time, remember? You were there, at the Vidiian prison. You know what they went through."
"Well... Maybe."
Harry could see that the idea appealed to Tom. At the very least, it gave him something to do besides wallow in his depression. He was looking better already. Like a man with a mission.
Tom fidgeted nervously. He had invited both B'Elannas to his quarters, determined that they would all talk this over and resolve their problems. Unfortunately, it wasn't working too well. Klingon and human B'Elanna squared off, determined to have it out.
"You're always getting me into trouble because of that terrible temper of yours. You lose your temper way too easily!" human B'Elanna accused. From the looks of it, Klingon B'Elanna was dangerously close to doing just that.
"Sometimes you have to lose your temper to make people listen to you!"
"They won't listen if you scare them away!"
"It's better to be honest with people than to conceal yourself behind a facade of tact! You have to let them know how you truly feel. It is the honorable thing to do." Klingon B'Elanna glared at her human counterpart.
Human B'Elanna threw up her hands. "Why is it always about honor and duty with you?! Don't you ever think about anything else?"
"Of course I do. And you don't think about it often enough."
"I don't need you to remind me of how I'll never be able to live up to Klingon expectations."
"You'd rather pretend that I don't exist?"
"You've caused me nothing but trouble all my life!" human B'Elanna fumed. "All I ever wanted was to be like everyone else. To be normal! To be completely human!"
"B'Elanna –" Tom tried to interrupt her, but she ignored him.
"I don't even like Klingon culture! I've never met any humans who liked it either!"
"Tom happens to like Klingon culture, remember?!" Klingon B'Elanna reminded her. But human B'Elanna was not appeased.
"Well, he's the only one!" she shouted. "And I will never understand why." She crossed her arms and strode to the other side of the room.
"Are you saying that everyone would like you better if it weren't for me? That Tom likes you better than me because you're not Klingon?" the Klingon challenged.
"You're the one who lashes out at him when you get angry and aggressive," human B'Elanna pointed out. "I'm surprised that he hasn't gotten fed up with it already! You're always pushing him away."
"As if you never push him away! You're always afraid to admit your feelings. Afraid of losing him. Afraid of everything!" Klingon B'Elanna slammed her fist on the table for emphasis.
Their arguing was starting to give Tom a headache. His head swam, and his heart was breaking. The situation seemed surreal. They were talking about him as though he wasn't even there. He was getting fed up with it.
"ENOUGH!" he thundered. Startled, B'Elanna and B'Elanna swiveled around to stare at him. In the heat of their argument, they had almost forgotten that he was there.
"I can't take this anymore. Please stop arguing," he pleaded them. He shook his head. "I love you both too much to let you stand here and tear each other to pieces. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have let this happen," he said, anguished. "Shouldn't have let Sulon split you into two again."
Stunned, Klingon and human B'Elanna gaped at him, wide-eyed and disbelieving as the realization that Tom held himself responsible, unfairly so, for their problems sunk in.
"Tom, this isn't your fault. We don't blame you for any of this," Klingon B'Elanna reassured him after she recovered from the shock of Tom's declaration. Human B'Elanna nodded in agreement.
"Why do you think we were even willing to go through the DNA separation in the first place?"
Tom was at a loss for words. His brain was still registering what they had just told him. They didn't blame him for this?
"We did it to save you."
"We would do just about anything for you, Tom."
He just stared at them, feeling overwhelmed.
"But... what about Murphy? And Jarvin?"
"Jarvin and are I just good friends, nothing more," Klingon B'Elanna said gruffly. "You're the one I love, Tom. I love you, and I'm not afraid to say it. Unlike some of us." She glared at human B'Elanna. "If it had been up to me, I would have told you that long before the Day of Honor."
"That's not fair," human B'Elanna protested. "I was just being cautious, that's all. And I do love you, Tom. I'm not afraid to say it either. Ensign Murphy means nothing to me."
"But... the two of you have been avoiding me all week," he said, utterly confused.
"You've been avoiding us!"
Tom shook his head. He looked puzzled. "Why would I be avoiding you?" he asked.
Klingon B'Elanna and human B'Elanna both looked upset.
"I didn't think you would want to have anything to do with a full Klingon," Klingon B'Elanna said quietly.
"And I... I didn't think you'd find me very interesting," mumbled human B'Elanna.
Tom couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could they think that?
"How – how do you feel about us, Tom?" human B'Elanna asked timidly.
That was easy enough to answer.
"I love B'Elanna Torres. Since both of you are equally a part of her, I love both of you," he told them honestly. "I just thought that – that the two of you hated me."
Klingon B'Elanna and human B'Elanna both shook their heads vigorously.
"We love you," said human B'Elanna. "We could never hate you."
"Of course we love you, Tom," Klingon B'Elanna agreed. "She and I just need to work out our differences. It's not your fault."
"Could you leave us alone for a while?" human B'Elanna asked Tom. "I think... we ought to talk to each other in private."
"Okay," said Tom, still somewhat in shock over their declaration of love for him and sudden harmony. B'Elanna still loved him? She – they still believed him worthy and deserving of her/their love? B'Elanna and B'Elanna actually agreed with each other about something? Dazed, he slowly got up to leave. His mind was reeling, desperately trying to sort everything out. As he left, he hazily hoped they wouldn't do anything to hurt each other in his absence.
As he left, B'Elanna and B'Elanna turned to each other again. They eyed each other warily for a long moment.
"He's right, we have to stop arguing," human B'Elanna sighed. They both sat down and fell silent, deep in thought.
"I can't believe that he ever doubted that I love him," Klingon B'Elanna finally said, shaking her head. "How could I not love him? He's always accepted me, when no one else would. Even when you wouldn't accept me."
"I know. I'm sorry. I guess I blame you for a lot of our problems... It just seemed easier that way."
"Do you really hate me that much?"
"No, of course not. I don't hate you at all. You're a part of me." She paused. "A very important part," human B'Elanna slowly confessed. "I've really realized that these past few days. I thought I would be happier without you, that I could make it alone... but I can't."
"I've also realized that," Klingon B'Elanna said quietly. "It's been difficult without you. We're only two halves of a whole; we're not complete without each other."
"And we are most definitely not complete without Tom," human B'Elanna finished.
"That goes without saying. Though you certainly haven't been behaving like it lately," Klingon B'Elanna couldn't resist saying.
"What?!" exclaimed human B'Elanna, crossing her arms defensively.
"You and Ensign Murphy seem to have become quite close," Klingon B'Elanna noted. "I can't imagine what you see in that p'taq," she snorted derisively. Human B'Elanna shrugged.
"He's very sweet," she said nonchalantly.
"And Tom isn't?" said Klingon B'Elanna challengingly.
"Well, you're a fine one to accuse me of being disloyal to Tom!"
"And what's that supposed to mean?!" Klingon B'Elanna demanded fiercely, glaring at her human counterpart.
"You've been spending all of your time with Jarvin!"
"Jarvin is just a good friend! You remember how kind to us he always was, even when we were in the Maquis... And I wasn't blatantly flirting with him the way you were with Ensign Murphy."
"I was not flirting with him!" she said hotly. "I was just trying to be nice. He was flirting with me. I certainly wasn't flirting back." She waved her hand dismissively. "I enjoy his company, that's all. He's kind and fun to be around, but he's no substitute for Tom."
"No one could ever replace Tom," Klingon B'Elanna declared. Her human counterpart agreed. The Klingon and the human regarded each other again, silent for a long moment.
"We really should stop arguing," said human B'Elanna at last, shaking her head.
"I don't know if we'll ever really stop arguing," said Klingon B'Elanna with a snort of laughter. Human B'Elanna smiled.
"Well, at least long enough to be re-integrated," she amended.
"Agreed," replied the Klingon.
"I miss having you around."
"It's not the same without you," she acknowledged.
"Amazing, we actually agree on something," said the human with a laugh. Her Klingon counterpart smiled.
"It's not that unusual. We agree that we love Tom."
"Yes. And he loves us. Both of us." The two B'Elannas grinned at each other, clearly pleased at that thought.
"Because we're part of the same person," they said in unison. They smiled and nodded at each other.
"I can't believe we've been blaming each other for driving him away."
"Neither can I. He needs both of us."
"He'd be lost without us," human B'Elanna mused.
"We can't have that, now, can we."
Human B'Elanna smiled mischievously. "I don't think I could keep him in line without you."
"Well, I don't think he'd be able to handle a full-blooded Klingon too well," Klingon B'Elanna drawled with a feral smile.
"No, he has enough trouble handling a half-Klingon!" human B'Elanna giggled. Klingon B'Elanna joined her.
As Klingon and human shared a laugh, the tension faded. They smiled knowingly at each other, then headed off to Sickbay together.
Tom waited anxiously in Sickbay as the Doctor prepared to re-integrate the two B'Elannas. The Klingon and the human were sitting side by side on a biobed. They both smiled at Tom as the Doc announced he was ready and began the re-integration procedure. He had modified the technique that had once merged Neelix and Tuvok into a single person. As the two B'Elannas shimmered out of existence, Tom held his breath. The beam re-materialized, and there sat B'Elanna, fully restored to her original self. She immediately lifted her hand to feel her forehead. Upon finding it back to normal, she sighed with relief.
"B'Elanna..." Tom tentatively took a step towards her.
She got down from the biobed hesitantly, regarding him intently. As he reached her, he wrapped his arms around her tightly.
"Tom," she sighed, returning the embrace and burying her face in the side of his neck. They stood like that for several moments while the Doctor looked on impatiently, but not wanting to interrupt their reunion. He couldn't run a full diagnostic scan on her like he wanted, but he didn't mind too much. It could wait, seeing as how they had waited this long.
Finally, B'Elanna tilted her face upward to look at Tom, and he gently traced the back of his hand over her forehead ridges and down the side of her face. They smiled at each other, needing no words. She clung to him, content to remain in his arms, and he happily obliged.
He didn't ever want to let her go.
The End