He rushes forward though he wishes most of all to stop time.
His feet beat the ground at the pace of his panicking heart.
His head is filled with thoughts of sunflower fields and soft, pale skin because, right now, he wants to be anywhere but here.
He takes the agonizing steps up the stairs and stands before his beloved, his tormentor.
He sees him smile and, just for a moment, everything is all right.
No one is about to die.
No one is about to kill.
No one is about to lose their soulmate.
But then the crowd starts screaming – in horror or delight, he can't tell which – and reality hits him like a sledgehammer, shattering his peace, throwing him back down to earth.
Time is moving so slowly.
A step.
Then another.
Then he draws his sword and no no no no no no no please no drives it through Lelouch's frail body.
The flesh gives in all too easily; it almost welcomes the cold metal.
It almost welcomes its demise.
Green eyes would meet amethyst ones, but that mask is in the way.
That mask.
God, he hates that mask.
It used to hide a beautiful face in the disguise of a villain.
Now, it hides his sin from the world.
The sword comes out again the same way in entered, and now there's a hole where there definitely shouldn't be one and still Lelouch is smiling.
Teardrops roll down the inside of the horrifying savior's mask, and he wishes it was him who was brutally stabbed.
Then it's over before it's begun and his entire world tumbles down the stairs to rest beside Nunnally. She screams as she figures out her brother's train of thought and that just does it for Suzaku.
The sound pierces his bubble of calm and it hits him.
He's killed him.
He's just killed his one and only light.
Brutally murdered him, like an enemy.
He wants to scream too, but of course that would be inappropriate.
He gets into the role of Zero and tries to look proud of this horrible thing he's done.
He feels ugly.
He is ugly.
Lelouch is serene white, elegant black and mesmerizing violet. Suzaku is the disgusting red that just never seems to stop flowing.
Zero stands tall.
Suzaku curls up and cries.