It was over. The monsters were gone and the fog was setting all around us. My eyes tried to get used to the misty surroundings, but it was hard. Though I could hear it. The sounds of sobbing.
The worry settled in when I realized I couldn't see Iva anywhere around. My gaze was seeking for her, but deep down in my heart I knew exactly where she was. I just didn't wanna believe it. The sobs stopped for a few seconds when the sound of someone throwing up started, and then they continued again. But more distant - smaller.
"Iva, where are you?" I called out loud, though I was already moving towards the sound of the sobs. She didn't answer, but I knew it was her sobbing, though I'd never heard that sound before.
The smell of blood hit me as if I had walked straight into a wall. Slowly I fell down on my knees beside the tiny body. I could still hear her, I knew she was still there, but I also knew that she wouldn't stay. She was already leaving. She was just collecting the stuff she wanted to keep from her memories.
"Iva… Please… Don't do this…" I whispered in a broken voice that didn't sound as my own.
"I'm rejecting it, Zane…" she whispered in a voice that sounded so far gone it was impossible. I could feel the tears building in my eyes, and I knew she could see them. "Don't cry, Zane. It's not so bad, I was just not meant to live the life I realized I wanted…" Her voice broke. Her hand reached out and I could feel it on my cheek. With so soft motions, they almost didn't exist, she stroke my cheek and made the tears stream.
A shaky smile appeared in her face. Blood dripped slowly down her cheeks and painted them red – almost the same color her hair had taken. I could almost see the blood collecting in her mouth. With a pained grin she drew herself up in a sitting position and leaned her back against a tree. Soon she had to spit out the blood.
I could see how ordinary tears mixed with the blood when she started crying. Again she leaned against the tree. That was when I noticed the pipe that stuck out of her stomach. A few seconds I couldn't do anything else than stare at it. It must hurt really badly, I thought.
"I'm so far gone, Zane. It's like I'm not even here…" she whispered and broke it with a sob. "I can't think straight right now. And I guess I won't be able to talk soon…" she broke again when another sob was shaking her body.
"You don't have to say anything, Iva. I think I know…" I started, but she continued talking without even listening.
"Stay with me, Or watch me bleed, I need you just to breathe… I thought that was just silly talking. But I really loved those words, I've always done it. It sounds so… pleading, I guess. I don't know why they popped up in my head right now. But I guess I now know what they really say…" she got quiet and I could tell how it got harder and harder for her to talk. I guessed she just wanted to scream her agony out, but couldn't effort it while I sat beside her. "He sang a lot of meaningful words, that guy. I guess that's what I will miss the most. My Secondhand Serenade records…" she whispered. I guessed what she tried to remember, and when a peaceful smile showed up on her lips, I knew I had guessed right.
"Iva… I'll miss you so, so much…" I cried so quiet I knew she couldn't hear it.
"I wanted to find out the meaning of life, do you remember that?" she said in a small voice, I was getting trouble hearing her. "And I think I just did…" Slowly, her eyelids closed, and I knew for sure that it had been the last time I would ever experience her eyes in real life. "Love you, Zane…" she whispered in the same small voice.
That was when I saw that she was completely covered in blood. She was sweating it. It was dripping from the small spring between her lips. She was crying it. It was flushing from her ears. And it had marked my cheek. I just sat there completely unable to move, and watched her lifeblood sail out of her body.
"Zane? What's happening?" A voice called from somewhere behind me. I recognized the voice of my mother, but had no idea why she was there.
"Mom?" I asked stupidly. Suddenly Ivas' body arched and I could hear the scream and feel the tears as they built up inside her. She gasped for air as the worst pain hit her. I was still like a statue. Unable to breathe. I only knew what I wanted to do, but didn't know if I could. I wanted to kiss her.
"Zane, where are you, Hunny?" My mother called, but I couldn't hear her. I was lost, I realized, as I leaned down and covered Ivas' soft lips with my own. I could taste the blood, but didn't care. I only cared about the red haired girl in front of me. She answered the kiss for a few seconds, and then I felt how she tightened and soon relaxed. I knew then, she was gone.