Written for a self-set Kurt Hummel challenge to include 1 random dictionary word per day for 30 days. Dictionary word: Scrupulous.
Pairing: Kadam
Words: 1496
Genre: general, fluff
Rating: schmoop
Summary: Inspired by the 4 x 20 promo: Kurt is spreading himself too thin and Adam notices.
Scrupulous
The first time Kurt falls asleep just 10 minutes into a movie, Adam thinks it's adorable. He knows Kurt is pulling long hours at Vogue and NYADA and he is scrupulous about his self-set deadlines. It's okay he needs to unwind, and Adam actually kind of enjoys having Kurt snuggled up to him on the couch, one of his hands burrowed into Adam's sweater. He puts his arm around Kurt and mutes the tv, content to just listen to Kurt's deep and regular breathing. He's a little disappointed that Santana barges in after an hour, dumping her purse on Kurt's legs and demanding that they make room for her so she can watch tv too. Adam had secretly been planning to do the whole 'carrying Kurt to bed and tucking him in' thing- not in a creepy way, but just so his boyfriend could have a long night's rest he clearly needs so much.
The opportunity to do just that presents itself sooner than he expects. A few days later, they are on the couch again, his book and Kurt's magazine only an alibi to cuddle by now, and Kurt is sitting between Adam's legs, his back resting against Adam's chest. Adam is running his fingers through Kurt's hair – something Kurt only permits when the girls are out (or else, he claims, they will insist on doing it too, and no one but Adam gets that privilege). The magazine slips from Kurt's fingers, and as Adam waits for him to pick it up, he notices Kurt has dozed off. He is heavy and warm against Adam's body and as much as he wants to enjoy the feeling of being half-spooned like this, Kurt is kind of restricting the blood flow to his legs. Before he loses the ability to walk, Adam carefully reaches up and around Kurt's legs and gathers him to his chest. It's another evening cut short, but it doesn't matter as he carries Kurt to his bed and pulls a sheet over him. Kurt is smiling, and that's exactly what Adam wants.
It becomes harder to ignore when Kurt starts yawning and blinking through the Adam's Apples rehearsals too – they are at mid day, and Adam begins to worry a little. Kurt assures him he's fine; just a little stressed as he's heading back up to Vogue right after class to help Isabelle pick a new columnist, but he'll be okay. Adam figures he's the best judge of his own stamina, and they continue rehearsing.
Kurt's started drinking more coffee again too, which makes Adam a little sad, because he loves making large pots of tea that they can share, and Kurt and his refillable Starbucks mug have become almost inseparable. There's just something unromantic about coffee, Adam feels. Still, if that's Kurt's thing right now, who's he to comment?
Then it happens. It was probably bound to, the stress accumulating like invisible storm clouds- and they have their first full blown fight. Well, argument. Adam doesn't really wants to call it a fight; it's more of a… disagreement. They were set to go out to Callbacks that night, and Kurt is late. Adam's been waiting with Rachel and Santana for a while when he storms in, throwing his bag into a corner with more ferocity than he usually treats his personal belongings, and heads straight to the bathroom. Adam looks at the girls. They both shrug. Clearly this is unusual, but not worrying. At least, not until Kurt returns two minutes later, holding a bottle of shampoo in his fist.
"Which one of you was it? Which one? Which one of you used my shampoo again even after I told you specifically never to touch it?" He looks threatening, maybe even a little wild. Santana glares him down.
"I knocked it over this morning. You shouldn't have left it perched upside down-"
"I was draining it to get the last portion out! And now there isn't enough left and I can't wash my hair."
"Poor you."
"No, poor you, as you're going out there right now to buy me a new bottle, this is outrag-"
"No way! It's not my fault!"
Adam watches the two of them and decides to intervene. "Kurt, I know it's your favourite, but don't you have other shampoos? And I think your hair looks great either way, you don't have to-"
Kurt's eyes turn on him and he recoils a little. He has never seen Kurt so angry before.
"You want me to show up at Callbacks with unwashed hair? I need to wash my hair after work, I've been in the subway, you understand? But of course you don't. You wear a beanie all the time. Well, just because you have a hat-face doesn't mean we all do, Adam."
Adam blinks. Is a hat-face a good or a bad thing? "Don't you think you're overreacting a little?" he tries carefully, and it is definitely the worst thing he could have said.
Kurt narrows his eyes, drops the empty bottle, and stalks off. The door to the bathroom slams and they can hear the sound of running water- as well as a lot of clanging and banging on the shelves.
"I guess that's our cue to leave," Santana says, getting up. "He's not coming now, might as well get going." Rachel nods and gets her coat. Adam hesitates.
"I can't leave him like this," he says quietly. "I'm gonna stay and see if I can calm him down a little."
Santana shrugs. "It's your grave, beanie boy. Let's go, Rach."
Adam waits for them to go and for Kurt to finish his shower. When he thinks Kurt had enough time to get dressed again, he gathers his courage and walks up to the privacy curtain that partitions the loft. "Kurt?"
There's no answer, and Adam thinks he might have really messed up. "Kurt?" he asks again, and pushes the curtain open a little. Kurt's on his bed, face down, his arms wrapped around his boyfriend pillow (he had been very embarrassed about the thing when Adam found out, but his boyfriend actually thought it was kind of endearing and told Kurt he should keep it – it's wearing one of Adam's shirts by now), and his shoulders are shaking a little.
"Kurt, are you all right?" Adam asks, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He wants to reach out and comfort his boyfriend, but he isn't sure if it's allowed.
"I'm sorry," Kurt sniffles, his voice muffled by the pillow, "I didn't mean to freak out, I just… I was really looking forward to going to Callbacks with you and then Chase needed all of these copies and everyone was going crazy and-"
"It's okay," Adam assures him, and puts his hand on Kurt's back. As Kurt doesn't flinch or pull away, he take sit as encouragement and stars rubbing small circles between his shoulder blades. Kurt's posture relaxes a little and he finally lifts his head to look at Adam.
"It's not okay. I wanted this date to be special. I know I've been absent the past weeks, always cancelling on you or falling asleep, and it's not fair, you need-"
"I don't need anything except for you to be okay, Kurt," Adam interrupts him. "I know you've been terribly busy, and I worry about you. I didn't want to say anything-"
"-but you think I'm a bad boyfriend," Kurt finishes. Adam frowns.
"No. No, Kurt, why would you think that?"
Kurt shrugs against his pillow, his eyes glancing at his drawer, and Adam knows there's something there he isn't ready to tell him yet. "I've just been there before," Kurt whispers finally. "Adam, I am trying so hard. I don't want to lose you, and I know it's not good enough-"
"Kurt, stop, please." Adam shakes his head. "Stop that right now. I never said anything like that. I said I was worried. You're always working. I know your job means a lot to you, and NYADA is your dream, and I fully understand if you lack the energy to stay up late after all of that. I'm not blaming you. I just… I want to help, and I don't know how."
Kurt looks at him, and Adam is not sure if he is about to cry or get angry again. At him, or at himself. "I just want to be a good boyfriend for you," Kurt says again. "I do try…"
"Kurt, you are amazing. You don't even have to try to make that happen. I am madly in love with you and there's nothing you can do to change that," Adam states matter-of-factly. Kurt smiles a little. "Please tell me what you need," Adam continues. "Shall I go get you a new shampoo?"
Kurt shakes his head. "Can we stay in tonight?" he asks shyly. "And maybe you could make us some tea?"
Adam smiles. "Any time," he promises.