Author's Note: You ever have one of those shows where you rewatch it over and over again to make yourself feel better in bad times? Total Drama is that series for me. Yeah. Who knew? Anyway, here's a rare pair I've always enjoyed and wanted to show off.

Confession Cam

Duncan banged his head off the side of the confession cam, eyes closed and cursing under his breath. He knew the camera was running, but he couldn't bring himself to care. This was the only damn place on the entire island he could get some privacy, and even here, there were still cameras.

Damn it.

Sighing, Duncan looked over to the camera, rested one folded arm on his leg, and stabbed a finger at the lens.

"Chris, I swear to god, if you air this, they won't find your body, man," said Duncan. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away from the camera, leaning forward more on his arm. His thoughts swirled behind his eyes, forcing him back to the same train of thought no matter how hard he tried to get away from it.

DJ. Big, soft, lovable DJ. With his big, soft, lovable heart, and his stupid, handsome face.

Another sigh. He closed his eyes. Opened them. Then, he let it all come out at once. "When you come to this stupid show, you play a role. That's how TV works, you know? I was the delinquent, the criminal, the badass. Yeah, maybe there was more to me, but I was never going to let anyone see it, you know?" Duncan rubbed the back of his neck again and looked at the camera. "But DJ made me break my own rules. I got him a bunny, I stole extra food for him, hell, I even protected him from getting kicked off once."

He remembered that. The extreme blind challenge. DJ had cost their team the win, and thus, they wanted him off, even if Sadie had done shit that challenge too. Duncan had talked them out of it. He still refused to tell Bridgette why.

Probably never would, honestly.

"I was supposed to flirt with Heather, mess with Courtney's head, and walk away with a hundred grand," said Duncan. "I was never supposed to get invested." He rubbed his face and groaned. He'd gotten invested, that was the big problem. Geoff and DJ were his friends, ones he didn't want to give up once the summer was over, even if they did live in different provinces.

"But I did," said Duncan. "Fuck." He leaned back and closed his eyes. DJ's laugh swirled around him, reminding him of all the stupid shit he'd done to impress DJ. The cooking, the music choices in jam sessions, and the bunny.

The stupid fucking bunny. The whole reason he was in this mess.

Because when Courtney had asked him why he'd done it, Duncan had spun her some bullshit answer about it following him and never really answered the question.

He knew she was suspicious. He knew she wanted to ask him about it. He knew she would, eventually, because that was what the precious CIT princess did. Needle. Needle and pick and tear at things she didn't understand. Things she'd never understand.

God, he just wanted this whole thing to be over, just so he didn't have to deal with her squinty eyes whenever his own gaze lingered on DJ just a little too long.

She was going to find him out, sooner or later, and Duncan couldn't let that happen. Not like this. Not like that.

"I'm not used to having to lie," said Duncan, staring at the ceiling of the confessional. He drew one leg up to his chest and wrapped an arm around it. "I live big and loud and out – literally, actually." He snorted. "Coming to the island…" He shook his head. "Coming to the island, I had to give up a lot of what makes me, you know, me. I wanted to fit this image Chris was pushing on me."

He shrugged. "Not like it matters, man. I like the role. I like playing it up. But, you know, it means missing a lot of stuff. Stuff like…" Romance, he didn't say, but he probably had hearts in his eyes or some shit. Something that would make his stupid crush on DJ even more obvious in this confessional.

God, he hoped Chris didn't get it into his head to air this. Duncan probably wouldn't have, in the same spot. Sexuality and shit like it could get a lot of kids in trouble. Chris could seriously hurt people if he did that.

Maybe he didn't care. Maybe he was as evil as people said he was.

Maybe Duncan was digging his own grave.

"I just wish it was easier," said Duncan. "I just wish I could start this all over, ya know? I like being the guy everyone's scared of, and I like being the favourite to win on my team, but I miss other stuff. I miss being able to let my guard down. DJ…" He sighed. "He gave me that back, man. And maybe I'm stupid, crushing on a guy who's probably straighter than Trent, but you know, my brothers always said you don't pick love, love picks you."

He grimaced and tasted bile. "Okay, wow, no, that was way too cheesy, even if it is DJ, and I don't love the guy." Not yet, anyway. "I just kinda want to climb into his lap and make him forget everything but my name." Duncan looked at the camera and let out a quiet snort. "Which sounds way gayer when I say it out loud."

"Fuck," muttered Duncan, shaking his head. Then, slightly louder. "Fuck." He slammed a hand on the side of the confessional, took a deep breath, and got to his feet. "Whatever man, I can survive until one of us gets kicked, then I'll probably never see him again." He tried not to sound bitter as he said it, but he was definitely bitter. Oh, so very, very bitter.

Duncan stalked out of the confessional and headed back toward the mess hall to eat breakfast. Maybe food would get all the sap and mush out of him. He needed to get his head back in the game or he was gonna end up getting shoved into the dirt and left behind.

And then he'd get kicked off, lose the money, have to go back to his parents', and hope they, you know, liked him enough to let him finish out high school or some shit.

In the mess hall, Duncan took a seat with his team and propped his chin in one hand, staring down at his food. It was something like oatmeal and toast today, though he couldn't be sure because, you know, Chef. He wasn't really hungry, even if he needed to eat to keep up his strength between challenges. He mostly just wanted to go back to bed, but sleep brought dreams, and dreams brought DJ.

Graceful, strong, kind DJ and his big, warm hands, and his muscular, barrel chest, and his warm brown eyes…

Duncan shook himself, feeling his cheeks and ears heat.

Damn, he needed to stop thinking about DJ. Right now. If he didn't, he was going to end up in a very bad situation very, very quickly.

"Hey, Duncan?" asked Geoff. Duncan looked up at Geoff and cocked an eyebrow. "You don't look so hot man, you all right?"

"Yeah, yeah, fine," said Duncan.

Courtney sniffed. "You better be, we have a challenge in two days and I don't want to lose because one of us got sick."

"Relax, Princess," said Duncan. He rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head and tilting his chair back. "I said I was fine, didn't I?" He snorted and winked at her. "You're always free to nurse me back to health."

"As if," said Courtney. She got to her feet and held up her nose as she walked out of the mess hall. Duncan rolled his eyes again and looked at Geoff, who snickered.

"She wants me," said Duncan, holding out his fist.

"Totally," said Geoff, fist-bumping him. Across the table, Bridgette and DJ frowned at each other. Bridgette, Duncan got. She was a girl and they tended to stick together. Made total sense for her to get upset when Duncan got all… flirty with Courtney. DJ, though, Duncan didn't get. He frowned.

"What? You two don't approve of my team bonding methods?" asked Duncan. "Whatever, man." He shrugged and grabbed his spoon, stuffing some of the oatmeal into his mouth. It was bland, but better than it could have been, and at least it didn't taste like feet this week.

DJ shook his head and got to his feet, taking his tray back to Chef. "You know, Duncan, maybe you should stop going after people you aren't interested in. You might have better luck," said DJ. He left the mess hall and Duncan frowned, turning to watch him go. He looked to Geoff and Bridgette, who looked just as confused as he did.

What did DJ mean like that?

…And did it mean he knew about Duncan?

With a quiet curse, Duncan got to his feet and jogged after DJ, hoping to intercept the guy before he got to the cabins. Instead, he ran into Courtney, who had been sitting on the mess hall steps.

She glared at him. "What do you want, Duncan?" she asked.

"Not you," he replied, before pushing past her and heading toward the Killer Bass cabin. Shitty as it was, they all spent most of their time there, so it was a safe bet that he'd find DJ there.

Sure enough, when he came into the cabin he saw DJ sitting on his bed, petting Bunny. Bunny took one look at Duncan and hopped under the bed. Duncan tried not to let his hurt show. He'd gotten that stupid rabbit for DJ and it still hid from him. It was like every wild animal in the world hated him.

Like some kind of anti-Disney princess bullshit or something.

"Hey, man, what were you on about back there?" asked Duncan, pointing out the door and vaguely toward the mess. "You trying to mess with my head or something?"

DJ frowned at his hands, which he held in his lap, and said nothing. Duncan groaned and flopped back on the bed across from DJ's. It was Harold's – gross – but at least it was, you know, clean. Probably. Hopefully.

In theory.

"DJ, come on, I thought we were friends," said Duncan. "What did I do?" He thought back to his confessional and wondered if DJ had heard him. Wondered if maybe that was what this was all about. "Talk to me, man."

"I just don't get why you gotta go after Courtney like that, man," said DJ. He leaned back on his hands and Duncan had to try not to stare at his abs through his shirt. "You don't like her – no one at this camp, except maybe Heather and Trent and maybe Courtney – believes you like her. Why act like that? Why not just be straight with her?"

Duncan snorted, unable to help it, at the concept of 'him' and 'straight'. Not just in the sexuality sense, but in any sense.

"See? And you always gotta make a joke out of everything," said DJ. He frowned at Duncan. "For once, just be honest and stop playing games with people's heads."

Duncan frowned. "You think I play mind games? Like Heather?" he asked. He leaned forward, arms on his knees. "I'm straight with people, DJ. I may be a complete ass, but I don't lie."

"Like hell you don't," snapped DJ. Duncan started at the curse, eyes growing wide. "Yeah, I swore, and I'll do it again." DJ leaned forward and frowned at Duncan. "Man, you're all talk, you know that? I know there's something soft in you, else you wouldn't be talking to a guy like me."

Duncan opened his mouth to protest, but DJ cut him off.

"I grew up in the Toronto projects, Duncan, I know when people are playing me for my size. You aren't, so don't act like you are," said DJ. He shook his head. "I thought…" DJ trailed off and sighed, head drooping. "Forget it, man, it's not worth the headache."

Now, it was Duncan's turn to frown. "Hey, no, you don't just get to start something and not finish it. What did you think DJ?"

DJ said nothing.

"Tell me," said Duncan, clenching his hands into fists on his knees. He knew the hope in his veins was in his eyes, but he didn't care. God, he didn't care. After the stupid confessional, Duncan just wanted this to be done, one way or another.

DJ met Duncan's gaze and Duncan saw DJ falter at what was in his eyes. Duncan refused to falter in turn. He wanted answers.

"What did you think?" asked Duncan, in a much softer voice.

"I thought…" DJ sighed, looked away, then looked back to Duncan. They locked eyes and neither one backed down. "I thought we might have started having something, after the blind challenge."

Duncan swallowed hard and licked his lips. "Yeah," he said, voice hoarse. "I kind of thought that too."

The two stared at each other for a long, long moment of silence, then DJ let out something like a snicker and shook his head, looking away from Duncan.

"Wow," he said. "I, uh, didn't expect you to own up to that." DJ rubbed the back of his neck, clearing his throat. He was too dark for Duncan to see him blush properly, but it was obvious he would be, if he could.

"What did you expect?" asked Duncan. He got to his feet and crossed the short distance between the two beds. DJ stared up at him. Duncan stared down. The last two feet felt like an infinite chasm, and that wasn't just because Duncan had been stealing Bridgette's cheesy romance novels for reading material.

"I dunno," said DJ. "Maybe for you to tell me you weren't into dudes?" The words were a question, hesitant and hopeful all at once, in their own way.

Duncan grinned down at DJ, letting all semblance of role and acting fall away. "What if I told you that I was only into dudes?" asked Duncan.

"I'd say you're a heck of an actor, man," said DJ.

Duncan took a breath and took the plunge, stepping forward between DJ's legs. Then, in one fell swoop, he dropped into DJ's lap and slid his arms around DJ's shoulders to rest, together, at the back of his neck.

"Yeah," said Duncan. "I try to be."

"How do I know you're not acting right now?" asked DJ, resting his hands on Duncan's hips. His breath ghosted Duncan's lips, and it smelled faintly of mint, like maybe he'd just brushed his teeth and hadn't eaten enough breakfast to make it change.

Duncan shrugged. "Since when have I ever acted around you, big guy?" he asked. The words were spoken softly, no jest to them. Duncan knew he was playing with fire – DJ could say he was lying, or ruin him, right now – but he didn't care. He trusted DJ to catch him when he fell.

And right now, Duncan was in free fall.

"Yeah," said DJ, voice just as soft. "I guess that's true." He glanced down at Duncan's lips, then back at Duncan's eyes. "Can I…? I mean… could we…?" He trailed off.

In a hoarse voice, Duncan whispered, "Please."

DJ nodded and, together, they closed the distance between them, meeting in the middle for their first kiss.

Duncan wasn't big on romantic clichés. You didn't see stars or feel lightning when you kissed someone. You just, you know, kissed them. But sometimes, if you cared enough about that person, there was something right in those kisses. Something that made you feel like you were a little less lonely, a little less lost, a little less scared, in this big, stupid world.

And that was what kissing DJ was like. That first kiss filled Duncan's lungs and his brain, left his fingertips tingling and trembling as he grasped DJ around the back of the head. It left him feeling like more than just him. Like he and DJ could melt together into the floor and be content there.

And when DJ pulled back, Duncan followed, dragging him back in because he didn't want to let this go, not yet. God, he wanted to taste the mint of DJ's breath and hold onto the nape of his neck forever.

When they finally did pull back, mouths slick with spit and chests heaving from breathlessness caused by intensity, rather than forgetting to breathe, Duncan rested his forehead against DJ's and laughed, soft and hoarse.

"Fuck," breathed Duncan. "That was…"

"Intense," said DJ, his voice just as hoarse. He grinned at Duncan, eyes bright and warm and so, so happy. Duncan wanted to see them like that all the time. "Wow, man."

"Yeah, wow is right," said Duncan. He laughed again, still soft, and shook his head slightly, though not enough to shake loose of DJ's forehead. "You're…"

"Incredible," finished DJ, smiling at him.

Duncan raised his eyebrows. "You gonna let me finish my sentences?"

"Nah," said DJ. He squeezed Duncan's hips a bit and pulled them flush together. "So, uh, now what?"

"Now?" asked Duncan. DJ nodded. "I'm good with making out for a while if you are." He grinned and DJ rolled his eyes, though he didn't seem to want to say no. "But, after that, I dunno man, can't really date on the island."

DJ stared. "You actually want to do this?" he asked.

Duncan nodded. "Yeah. I'm straight with people DJ, even if I'm not, you know, straight. I don't do secrets. If you wanna, that's your call, but…"

"I don't want to hide either," said DJ.

Duncan grinned. "Then, no hiding," he said, easy as breathing. "Now get back here. We can tell everyone else later, I wanna get better acquainted with that tongue of yours."

With another laugh, DJ dragged Duncan back in for another kiss, and they stayed like that for a while, trading kisses and touches and quiet laughs.

At least until Geoff came in and shrieked. Then they had to peel themselves apart to explain themselves to everyone.

Author's Note: Reviews are lovely!