This was fun to write. Cas has the hiccups. That's all you need to know. To make up for the angst I posted yesterday.
"Hic."
Dean's head jerked from the screen of the laptop, alert. He turned and saw nothing in the crummy motel room. Sam was out for a supply run, hopefully getting Dean's pie. Shrugging, he went back to watching .
"Hic."
Irritated, Dean shut the laptop and looked around the room. It was empty. Nothing under the bed, in the closet, bathroom...
"Hic, hic,"
"Okay, seriously, what the hell is going on here?" Dean demanded. Instead of getting a verbal answer, Cas appeared 3 inches away from his face. Dean yelped and fell back on the floor, staring dizzily at the ceiling.
"Hello *hic* Dean." Castiel said, staring down at him.
"What the hell, Cas?" Dean glared at him, scrambling to his feet. "Why'd ya have to do that?"
"I have no control my appearances. I *hic*-" and he vanished again, appearing on the other side of the room. "Hiccup. I hiccup."
Dean stared at him in bewilderment before bursting out laughing. "Oh man, that's actually really funny."
"Why?" Cas frowned at him, hiccuping again, but this time he didn't disappear.
"Because you're an angel with a hiccup problem," Dean smirked.
"It's been 20 minutes, Dean. They won't stop." Cas seemed to be losing his patience. "Can you *hic* help me?"
"Can I-" Dean laughed. "Sure, Cas. Apocalypse aside, I'll help you with your hiccups. Now, firstly, turn around and don't move."
"How will that help?"
"Trust me, man. I did this for Sam all the time." Dean watched Cas for a second, making sure he was staying put, but he was occupied with his hiccups. Dean quickly went into the bathroom and mussed up his hair, wincing a little. He snuck up behind Cas and jumped in front of him, yelling angrily, "Cas, get me some coffee, you jerk!"
Cas stared at him with a dumbfounded expression. "What was *hic* that for? I thought you were *hic* helping me?"
Dean sighed. "I was trying to be Sam when wakes up in the morning. That's always scary," when Cas looked just as confused, he added, "getting scared takes away hiccups. Oh, well, it was a long shot. We'll try something different."
"How many *hic* ways are there?" Cas asked.
"A lot," Dean smiled. "But I know all the fun ways."
Without warning, Dean took out a handkerchief and opened Cas's jaw and grabbed his tongue. Cas's eyes widened in shock as Dean tugged at it before letting go. Cas snapped his mouth shut and slapped Dean's hand away. "That was rude, Dean. *hic*"
"Ah, no. It's one of the ways to get rid of hiccups. I did that to Sam once when he was 6. It worked, but he spent a good 2 hours yelling that I committed child abuse." Dean rolled his eyes, and tossed the handkerchief on the floor. "Okay, next one."
Cas sat down on the bed as Dean went to Sam's duffel bag and rummaged through it. "What are you looking for?"
"Oh, a little something...here it is!" Dean said triumphantly. He held up a small jar of peanut butter.
"What is that?" Castiel frowned.
"Peanut butter. Sam may always eat salad, but he has a thing for pretzels and peanut butter."
Grabbing a plastic spoon, Dean scooped up some of the thick substance and gave it to Castiel. "Eat it."
Frowning, he stuck the entire scoop of peanut butter in his mouth, trying to chew it. When that failed, he swallowed. It felt stuck in his mouth, so started smacking his jaw, trying to get all the peanut butter down his throat. To Dean, it looked like Cas was a dog that had eaten peanut butter. He grinned. "Did it work?"
"*hic* No." Castiel said. Dean offered him a bottle of water and he took a sip.
"All right. Well, let's try holding your breath,"
"Dean-"
"Relax. I'll tell you when to stop." Dean assured him.
"But..."
"Cas," Dean warned.
Sighing, Castiel took a lungful of air and puffed out his cheeks, struggling to hold in a hiccup. "Now, stay there while I take a leak. When you need to breathe again, then breathe."
Castiel nodded.
When Dean came out of the bathroom 5 minutes later, Castiel was still standing there holding his breath. "Er, do angels need to breathe?"
Castiel shook his head.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" Dean snapped. Castiel let out his breath, hiccuping in the process, and scowled.
"Fine," he frowned, thinking. Then he smiled in a way that made Cas look at him suspiciously. "Oh, I know. Can you go get me some pepper?"
Castiel vanished and reappeared again holding a pepper shaker. He handed it to Dean, and the hunter sprinkled some on his hand and then tossed it around Cas's face. "There. That should work."
Castiel wrinkled his nose. It felt funny. It tickled. "Ah...ah..."
Dean grinned.
"AH-CHOO!" Casitel sneezed in Dean's face.
Dean stayed very, very still, clenching his fists, teeth gritted. Snot was all over his right cheek.
"Dean?"
"Yes, Cas?" Dean hissed.
"My hiccups are gone,"
"Good for you."
"And Dean?"
"What?"
"Can I have more peanut butter?"
Did you liiiiiiike it? :D Be sure to review !