Warnings: somewhat out of character-ness, some sexual implications. Minimal swearing, though.
Couple: slightlyolder!Shinichi x slightlyolder!Kaito
Note: Yes, I am aware that these things are not allowed on . If I get enough angry "OMG TAKE IT DOWN" reviews, I'll do just that. But really, I just did this for fun and thought maybe someone else might find it vaguely amusing. It makes good practice for writing in character (although I screwed that up royally, thank you very much). I can PM anyone who wants it a blank copy of the questions.
SO. ANYWAY. This lovely set of questions came with these instructions: Pretend you are an interviewer surveying random couples. Choose a couple from any fandom and have them answer the following questions.
Name of your lover?
Shinichi – Last time I checked, it was Kuroba Kaito. Possibly Kaitou Kid, though.
Kaito – Don't tell her that. And Kudou Shinichi. Or maybe Edogawa Conan?
Shinichi – If I can't tell her your secret identity, you can't tell her mine.
Age of your lover?
S – He's eighteen! I'm officially older!
K – Shinichi is nineteen. Screw May birthdays.
S – Hey, it's less than a month till yours.
Gender of your lover?
K – Fairly certain he's a guy. Fairly certain, if you know what I mean.
S – Male, although with the amount of crossdressing he does I could understand if you got confused.
Favorite thing to do with your lover?
S – Um…
K – Stuff. With a capital S.
S – Don't give her the wrong idea. Uh, I guess we like his, I mean, Kid's heists?
Hateful thing to do with your lover?
K – Get shot at by evil people…?
S – Arguing over the legality of Kid's activities. Whatever you say, Kaito, stealing jewels is illegal.
K – The point isn't that it's illegal, the point is that I'm not a bad guy.
S – You sure you want to declare that you're Kid to a random girl?
K – I, er… like to roleplay as Kid and forget I'm not him… a lot…?
What do you do on your free time with your lover?
K – Annoy him. Because it's fun.
S – Pretend to be annoyed. Because it makes Kaito happy.
What is your lover's favorite food?
S – I know what isn't. Fi –
K – SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
What is your lover's favorite thing to do?
S – Writing heist notes. Uh – fake ones, of course.
K – Solving my, uh, fake heist notes. Oh, and having se –
S – READING READING READING. I LOVE READING.
Did you announce your relationship in public?
S – No, but I wish I had. If we had, Hattori might've realized what we were doing and not have walked in on us that one time.
K – Hey, at least you still had your pants on.
Do you trust your lover?
S – Nope. I make it a point to date people I don't trust. Of course I trust him, what the hell do you think?
K – Well, there was this one where he literally took a bullet for me, so yes, I trust him.
What do you call your lover?
S – Kaito.
K – There was a point in time where I called him tantei-kun, but currently I call him Shinichi. Oh, and Shin-chan when I want to annoy him.
S – That is pretty annoying. It reminds me of my mom, who is most definitely not someone you want your lover to remind you of.
Have you ever been on a date?
S – He's accompanied me to cases…? And I go to his, I mean, Kid's heists…?
K – There was that one time at Tropical Land, I think.
When did you first meet each other? Describe the setting.
S – The first time we officially met face-to-face was on a rooftop when I was three feet tall. It was freezing and windy and he scared the hell out of me when he popped up behind me.
K – You make it sound so unromantic.
Where did you go for your first date with your lover, if you had one? If not, what was the first thing you did as an official couple?
S – The first thing we did as an official couple? Um… not exactly PG activities?
K – I still think we went to Tropical Land on a date.
Who asked out the other person first?
K – It was Shinichi, surprisingly enough.
S – Yes, it was me. And what do you mean by "surprisingly enough"?
If your lover was an hour late for your date, what would you do?
S – Probably be annoyed, but not too annoyed.
K – Figure he was sidetracked by one of the dead bodies constantly plaguing him and not really mind.
Describe your lover as an animal?
S – A dove. For obvious reasons.
K – Um, a cat? They seem pretty smart. And they have claws and plan the destruction of the universe.
S – I'm not sure if I should be taking that as a compliment or not, Kaito.
Describe your lover in one word.
S – Childish.
K – Perfect.
S – …And now I feel guilty.
Describe your lover as a flower.
S – A rose. For obvious reasons.
K – Hm… a daisy?
S – Why, pray tell, did you pick a daisy for me?
K – Look up what red daisies mean.
In your next life, will your love continue?
K – Probably.
S – Yes.
K – Okay, yes.
Will you ever cheat on your lover?
S – With who? Hakuba?
K – Oh God. Now I need therapy.
What would you do if your lover cheated on you?
S – …With who? Hakuba?
K – Okay I need more therapy.
Who is Seme and Uke?
K – If we're going by who tops or bottoms, neither of us is either, considering that we switch every time.
S – Kaito, please don't tell the innocent girl that.
What are your thoughts on rape?
S – Desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess?
K – That's illegal. Like, legitimately illegal and not the kind of good-illegal the stuff Kid does is.
S – …Are you seriously dragging that into this question?
Did you have your first time with your current lover?
S – Yes, thank God.
K – What he said.
When you kiss would you kiss when the other has food in their mouth?
S – Maybe. There was that time with the White Day chocolates…
K – And that time with the strawberry…
S – Okay, I don't remember the strawberry.
K – Ah, that's right. You were asleep at the time.
S - …Should I be concerned?
What sort of circumstances do you guys have?
S – We were rivals for a while. And we were on opposite sides of the law.
K – But love conquers all!
S – Sure, Kaito. Sure.
Have you ever been caught having xxx?
S – Yes, and I don't think Hattori has recovered to this day.
K – Don't forget about Hakuba.
S - …Wait, he walked in on us? When?
K – Last week. You didn't notice?
S – Well, I guess that would explain his recent inability to look me in the eye.
How many months have you been together?
S – Let's see… nine?
K – Shinichi, we've been together for two years.
Would you like to have children with your lover?
S – Uh, maybe? If we weren't both male…?
K – Adoption, Shinichi. And yeah, maybe.
Would you get married to your lover?
S – Yes, in a heartbeat.
K – How can I say no now?
Where would you get married?
S – A church?
K – That sounds about right.
Where would you have your honeymoon?
K – England, just to please my detective.
S – And this is why I'd marry you.
Do you give pet names to your lover?
S – I don't, but he does.
K – I guess "tantei-kun" counts, huh?
How far has your relationship gone?
K – How far do you think?
S – I actually agree with you. Huh.
Which body part do you like the most on the other person?
S – Personally, I really like his hands. The fingers are all slender, and even so, you can tell that they're incredibly fast. His fingertips sometimes have calluses or cuts from practicing magic tricks, but I like that because it shows how hard he works. Really, his hands are beautiful.
K – …Why the hell do I feel jealous of my own hands?
How do you express your feelings?
K – Probably by telling him I love him. Is that surprising?
S – Same.
When do you feel that you are being loved?
K – When he gets home out of breath and tries to explain why he's two hours late because a body fell on top of him while he was crossing the street. I can tell that he tried to solve the murder as fast as he could to get back home to me.
S – I guess it's the little things, like how the coffee's always ready in the morning and the shampoo never seems to run out.
What would you do if your partner got forced into bed?
S – Have I mentioned that I'm a detective who knows several hundred ways to murder someone without getting caught?
K – Have I mentioned that I once drove twenty people insane within ten minutes?
Will you kiss in front of anybody?
S – No, it depends on who it is. I wouldn't want to scar Hattori or Hakuba any further, though.
K – Are you kidding me? I wouldn't mind scarring Hakuba a bit more.
S – More like you want to.
If you had the choice now, would you?
K – Yes! Let's go find him!
S – Stay right here or I will skip your next heist.
What about now?
S – …Stop making that face, Kaito. The answer is still no.
K – Dammit.
Would you like to show some love in front of me?
K – I'd love to, but I don't think Shinichi's all for it.
S – Damn straight I'm not.
Closing statements?
K – Thanks for interviewing us, I guess?
S – What are you going to do with our answers?