Diary of a Frozen Heart

Yeah, I know. I should be writing another chapter to Magical Mysticism (for those who like dark D/G, check it out!), but I'm starting a story instead. Sue me. Well, let me know what you think, if you like it or hate it or w/e. I really value your input. If you want me to read & review your story, leave a note in a review. Or e-mail me at Leuca_2007@hotmail.com. I'll answer all emails/ questions asked of me. Well, I guess that's it. So its on with the show.

August 20th

Dear Diary,

My life is not mine. Ever since I was younger, I have been promised to another. It's the way things have been in my family for ages. Ever since we were magic, and probably before, if there even was such a time. We, the Blacks, are a very powerful family. Pureblooded, too, although that goes without saying. I am the eldest daughter of my family. I do have an older brother, Frederic, but he is the heir of my family, therefore he does not have to concern himself with matters as I do. All he has to do is follow Fathers wishes, and he is free to do as he pleases. I envy him.

My younger sisters are Bellatrix, and Andromeda. They look to me for an example, one that I must set. It is how things are done in my family. Soon I am to be starting my fifth year at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. It is a good school, although we did get a new Headmaster last year, Albus Dumbledore. He is a Muggle-loving fool if there ever was one. Father was must displeased when he found out about this change. Dippet was really eating out of his hand, or should I say Gringotts account. I doubt Dumbledore would do that. As you might be able to tell, I am a Slytherin.

I am not looking forward to my next year of schooling. I do not see the need, really. I already know my purpose in life, and have accepted it. You see, I am betrothed.

I have been, ever since my birth. But now, as I approach my sixteenth birthday, it begins to become more real. Mother has begun giving me expansions on my etiquette lessons. They cover everything I shall need to know to become an excellent wife to my husband, and mother to my children. That's the real point of these arranged marriages, anyway. Children. You get married, and have an heir, to carry on the line. The best blood matches will produce the best heirs. Its how its done.

Along with these lessons, Mother has also begun to teach me things about how to please my husband and master. How to cater to his every desire, to make him lust after my every move. How to please him, so he shall not stray to whores and prostitutes the way so many of these arranged marriages tend to do. It is not lore I am very comfortable with.

Mother is always telling me to watch what I eat, and to watch my manners when I'm with my future husband. To do anything that he might deem inappropriate would be devastating, as he might cancel the match. Then I would be cast out of the family, for shaming it so.

Andromeda and Bellatrix have it easy. They do not need to undergo these lessons. They are not matched with someone they have never met. They get to do as they please, like Frederic. They are just extra daughters, as it goes in these circles. The eldest son is the heir, and the eldest daughter is married off, to prolong the line. The others are just there, I suppose.

Andromeda is worrying me, though. She is starting at Hogwarts this year, and seems to be more of a Muggle-lover than anything else. She does not like the discussions Father gives us, about how important it is to have pureblood, and only associate with those who are the same. If Andromeda is chosen into Gryffindor house, I don't know what Father and Mother would do.

Bellatrix seems all right, though. She is always questioning how to better serve the cause of noble Slytherin. She will be a third year, also a Slytherin. She is excited to go back to school. There will be her friends there, and boys whom she admires. I envy her this luxury, to chose her spouse.

But I have accepted it. It is my destiny, and what I must do, for Father. For the noble and ancient house of Black. I must do this task, which has been given to me. I shouldn't be so worried, and my thoughts shouldn't be towards the future so much. It's just that tonight, for the first time, I shall meet my suitor. Lucius Malfoy.

He is a good match, as far as they come. The Malfoys have a reputation of being powerful, and their blood is pure. They are also very rich, and as the heir, Lucius will control much of the family money. Hundreds of millions of gallons will be ours, if not more. Plus Lucius has a nice job at the Ministry. I shall always be provided for.

We are meeting now, because the wedding shall be soon. When I am sixteen, on the 12th of July next year, I shall marry Lucius. Therefore, I have no need to return to Hogwarts after this year. At the end of this year, my schooling shall be complete.

I don't think that I will miss the school very much. It has never held much for me, and the only place I really feel comfortable is when I am sitting in the dark, shrouded Slytherin common room at night, when there is no one to see me or hear me.

Lucius, of course, has already finished Hogwarts. As is typical, he is several years older than me. His twenty-eighth birthday shall pass before my sixteenth. Its expected, really. For example, my brother, Frederic, is turned 20 for about a month now. His betrothed is starting Hogwarts this year, actually. Her name is Delia Parkinson, and is a good friend of Andromeda's.

But, I am straying from the point. Mother gave me this book, to be my friend whilst I'm at school. I think she knows how socially isolated I am. I have female friends, of course. My dorm mates. They are all engaged, also. Slytherins are really the only house that partake in such practices as arranged marriages. The other houses have been infiltrated with Mudblood scum, who weaken the purity of the houses, and the need to carry on such ancient rites.

My dorm mates though are nice. We just don't talk a lot. Slytherin isn't exactly the sort of place where people are very friendly to one another. Despite this, we are incredibly loyal. We have to protect each other, who else is going to? The rest of the school hates us, probably because we are superior to them.

That's why you, dear diary, are to become my confidant through all of this. My most trusted friend. As for now, though I need to go to Mother for another lesson. It will be an important one, for tonight, tonight, I first lay eyes upon my betrothed.

Until then, dear diary,

Narcissa Black

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Thanks!

~Leuca