A/N: Hey guys! LelouchxRolo FanFiction! This was a requested FanFiction from Uikjaki!
Note to Uikjaki: Hi! To be honest with you, this is the FIRST requested FanFiction I have ever written. I hope it will be good, I'm trying to make this as perfect as I can! I really hope you enjoy it!
Title: Uncertainty
Summary: Was it normal for Rolo to feel this way? To feel this way about another boy? To feel this way about Lelouch?
WARNINGS: LelouchxRolo (Yaoi), sexual situations (not graphic, but obvious and mentioned), onesided LelouchxRolo.
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Note: THIS IS IMPORTANT! Ok, so please note that this is when Lelouch does NOT have his memories of Nunnally, so he is kind to Rolo, just as he was to Nunnally, because he thinks at this time Rolo truly is his brother.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Code Geass or any of the characters.
Italics will emphasize, but these are Rolo's thoughts, These are Lelouch's thoughts.
RATED M SO I DON'T GET GET IN TROUBLE WITH FF! BUT IT'S A HIGHER T RATING
Lelouch had just gotten back to the Lamperouge household after meeting with the Student Council awhile. The weird thing was, Rolo hadn't been there. Is he okay? Lelouch began to walk down the hall, to Rolo's room, in which the door was closed. "Hey, Rolo, are you okay? You weren't-" Lelouch stopped as he looked at Rolo. He hadn't thought to knock. Huge mistake.
Rolo quickly pulled the bed sheets over himself, looking at Lelouch with wide eyes. "B-Brother, your home..." Rolo said. Should have locked the door... Rolo's cheeks quickly heated up, and he began to hide himself under the covers. "Rolo?" Lelouch asked. "Brother, please don't..." Rolo replied, still hiding himself under the covers.
"No, Rolo, what's wrong?" Lelouch asked, sitting on the side of the bed. It had been clear to Lelouch what Rolo was doing before and after he came into the room. "Brother, this is so embarrasing..." Rolo said. "This is nothing to be embarrassed about, Rolo." Lelouch said, calmly. "You don't have to hide from me, Rolo." Lelouch added. After a few seconds of uncertainty, Rolo raised his head from under the covers.
"But it is, brother." Rolo said, his cheeks still pretty red. "Rolo, it's not, trust me. Everyone does this at least at some point in their lifetime, Rolo." Lelouch stated, looking at Rolo, who still refused to make eye contact. "Are you sure this is normal? Or are you only saying that to make me feel better, brother?" Rolo asked. Rolo had never been intimate with anyone before. Rolo had never been close to anyone before. Rolo had never had strong feelings for someone before.
Which made Rolo wonder, was Lelouch only saying these things to comfort him, when in reality, they weren't normal at all?
"No, Rolo. Honestly. It's nothing to be embarrassed by." Lelouch assured him. Rolo still felt unsure. Now that Lelouch knew what he was doing, and he was there with him, should he ask him? Should he ask him about these feelings which drove him to even do this in the first place? What would his brother think of him once he asked him?
Rolo was deep in thought, and Lelouch could tell something was bothering him. He is Rolo's brother after all, isn't he? It was his job to comfort him, and he wanted to. He didn't want Rolo to be upset, and he was honestly worried about Rolo. There was no reason Rolo should be embarrassed. At all.
"Rolo, do you want to talk about it? I'm your brother, I'm here for you. You can always talk to me. I'll listen with open ears." Lelouch told Rolo. "Brother, is it okay to have fantasies about being...uh...intimate...with other people?" Rolo asked. "Yes, Rolo. Everyone becomes intimate with another person at some point in their life, and everyone falls in love with another person at some point in their life. It's perfectly normal, I promise." Lelouch said, finally getting the eye contact returned to him by Rolo.
"Ok, well...what if..." Rolo began. He didn't want to finish. He didn't think he could finish. If he asked this question, would it change everything? Was it normal? Was it normal to feel this way about another boy? Rolo wasn't sure. That's why he needed to ask. Half of him wanted to ask, but half of him wanted to hide. "What if..." Rolo tried to finish again, but he couldn't.
Lelouch saw that Rolo was struggling to get his question out. "Rolo, it's okay. You don't need to be scared." Lelouch assured him. "What if...this feeling..." Rolo began, but stopped. He was trying to think of a way to say it. It wasn't exactly easy to say. "What if I told you...I have fantasies of being intimate with other people, but...they aren't..." Rolo stopped again, trying to get it out. "What if the person is another boy?" Rolo finally asked, scared to get a response.
Lelouch was taken aback. Rolo...was gay? "Another boy?" Lelouch asked. Lelouch didn't have a problem with it at all. He just wasn't expecting to hear that from Rolo. But now that Lelouch really thought about it, it shouldn't have surprised him. And he felt terrible, because he knew that Rolo was uncertain about this, about himself. "Rolo, listen." Lelouch began. Rolo was expecting something bad to happen by the way Lelouch's tone changed.
"I don't have a problem with it. Yes, it's okay if your envisioning another boy. I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable with yourself. Your uncertain of yourself, and of your feelings." Lelouch said. "But how...?" Rolo asked. "I know you, Rolo. I don't want you to feel bad about any of this. I'm still your brother, I'm still here for you, I still care about you. It's okay to feel like that about another boy, and if someone tells you otherwise, don't listen. Because it's not wrong at all." Lelouch said, hoping Rolo felt a bit better.
"Rolo, can I ask you something?" Lelouch asked. "Yes." Rolo replied. "Are your feelings of attraction only towards men? Or are you not sure?" Lelouch asked. Rolo mumbled something incoherently that Lelouch didn't understand. "Hm?" Lelouch asked. "Only men..." Rolo replied quietly, hiding his face in his hands. "Was there a certain reason you asked if it's okay to imagine these things about another boy?" Lelouch asked, assuming the answer was yes.
"Well...I...I was thinking about another boy earlier...and...I don't know what to do," Rolo said. "What do you think you should do?" Lelouch asked. "I want to tell him how I feel, but..." Rolo didn't go any farther than that. "Could you tell me who it is? Maybe I could help you talk to him if I know who he is." Lelouch suggested. That scared Rolo all the more. What do I say? What do I do? "You can't help me..." Rolo said. "Why not?" Lelouch asked. Now or never, I guess...
"Because...he's right in front of me. It's you, big brother..." Rolo said, his cheeks red. All Rolo felt was shame and guilt. Lelouch surely didn't think of him in the same way anymore.
There was a few moments of silence. He hates me...He thinks I'm disgusting...I knew it...
Lelouch took a deep breath before breaking the silence. "Rolo, I don't have a problem with that either, it's just that we're brothers..." Lelouch began. "Yes, I do care for you and love you, but not in that way. We can't be together in that way." Lelouch said.
Rolo just stayed silent, his eyes full of tears that wouldn't fall. "Rolo, I don't look at you differently after this. I respect you, and you can still talk to me about your feelings." Lelouch assured him. Rolo just wanted to cry. He knew there would be rejection. A tiny part of him, just a tiny part believed that Lelouch might have felt the same. Lelouch knew how much Rolo had to have been hurting, and he couldn't stand seeing him so hurt.
"Rolo, look at me." Lelouch said. Rolo slowly raised his head to look into Lelouch's beautiful violet eyes. "Please, don't cry." Lelouch said, looking at Rolo. Rolo just stayed silent. Lelouch cupped Rolo's face into his hands, pressing a chaste kiss to Rolo's lips. It only lasted a few seconds before Lelouch pulled away. Lelouch placed his hand over Rolo's, looking at Rolo's blushing face. "Rolo, someday you are going to find a man you really love. A man who will love you just as much as you love him. A man that you can be with forever." Lelouch added, smiling at Rolo. Rolo smiled back at Lelouch, hearing those words made him feel just a little bit happier, knowing Lelouch meant everything he said.
Rolo wasn't uncertain anymore, thanks to Lelouch, the one who taught him what love was, and the one who taught him what being cared about felt like.
A/N: Uikjaki it's finished! This took me actually quite awhile to write. I really wanted to make it perfect for you, and I hope you liked it! I hope all the rest of you enjoyed it, too! Please R&R and inbox me for any Suzalulu or RoloxLelouch requests (but please note I don't take lemons or graphic sexual situations). THANKS AND R&R! AND UIKJAKI I HOPE YOU LIKED IT!