A/N: So I guess hi! :3
This is the first time for me on ! I'm Italian so I'm translating my fics now, and sometimes I make some mistake so I hope you'll forgive me eventually! Thanks to Mariafbv for being such a lovely beta :3
Hope you like it! (it's no weird that I'm posting my first fic and it's K rated I mean hahaha I'm into M usually haha)
/
A piano.
Infinite chords strummed by delicate hands.
Everything is dark around you. You're confused, you're alone, you're terrified. Do you feel confused, lost and do you hate that feeling of helplessness that fills you whenever you can't see what surrounds you?
You don't know what to do. You don't have anyone close to you who can direct you the right way.
You sigh deeply and try to get courage alone.
You move just a step when suddenly a dim glow lights up on you, allowing yourself to see.
Do you understand to be in the main hallway of the auditorium of McKinley and wonder how it is possible since only until a few minutes before you were comfortably wrapped in warm blankets of your bed?
You realize you don't wear your most beloved blue pajamas with yellow ducks that you had been given by Lord Tubbington.
Your hair is free from the tight elastic braids that you had twisted with such care and dedication - and especially with the help of your magic fairies - before you'd go to sleep.
You observe your body: it is wrapped by a beautiful purple dress that highlights your perfect body, you caress your smooth and good smelling hair and you wonder why you're so elegant.
You raise your gaze and you realize that there is nothing around you. So many empty seats and a stage covered by the red awning.
You move another step and you seem to hear again the slow melody of the piano. You're wondering who is the pianist, if you're really alone in the dark and cold in that auditorium.
But above all, you're wondering if there is someone waiting behind that huge red curtain.
You move towards the stage and listen to live piano music playing louder and louder in a continuous crescendo until you walk on these few steps that separate you from the truth. You touch the velvety tent with your fingers, not sure if you want to really find out what was waiting for you.
But your curiosity is too great to resist. You separate very carefully the two edges of the curtain and you look at that dark side.
You can't see anything, but in spite of the thick darkness there is something that captures your attention.
You can just barely hear a little voice call, but the sound of the piano is too strong to be able to distinguish the words. Or the person.
Your hands tighten around the edge of your dress and you don't know what to do. Your face is twisted into a confused grimace and as usual you don't know what is right or wrong, you have no one who can decide for yourself, you don't even have your beloved cat to turn to for advice.
You do think that going back is the best choice, even if only to walk through the threshold of the output of the auditorium you'd find yourself back to the warmth in your bed.
But that voice. You can hear it calling you again.
That voice makes something tremble within you and without even realizing it you find yourself on the other side of the stage, behind the curtain.
And here she appears in front of you.
A new light, stronger and clearer than before, illuminates the center of the stage and you can study the small shape moving steps of classical dance to the rhythm of the melody of the piano.
Her movements are fluid, precise, perfect and you find yourself wondering how a little child can be so good. You can't see her face, but you're curious to ask the questions that you hope they can find some answers.
But it's so nice to see her dance that asking her to stop would be a crime, but ... you just want to join her and let your legs move on their own to the rhythm of music.
Your admiring smile disappears in the moment you realize that the movements of the little ballerina becomes slower and slower until it stops altogether, the music becomes more and more faint until those last chords fade into silence.
The child slowly turns towards you and you feel your heart burst for that image so tender.
You love children as much as cats, but you have to admit that this is the most beautiful and sweet creature you've ever seen in your entire life.
It must have been about 5-6 years old, her light brown hair is tied in a bun and two strands rebels surround his face delicate caramel-colored complexion. Her eyes light brown hues made more evident by the green light enchanted watching you but at the same time sad.
You approach her slowly as if you were afraid to scare her, but the child seems likes she's expecting anything but you.
"Hello." You arch on your knees to be able to stay at the same height as her.
"I've been waiting for you." Your face is contracted into a frown confusing and you wonder why she's waiting for you, but the little creature anticipates you with a revelation flash. "There is still time."
"Time for what?" You ask arching his eyebrows.
"To be happy with Santana."
Your heart skips a beat. Then another and another. He then resumes the blood pulsing through your veins so strong that you fear could break out due to too much pressure.
How do you know Santana? How does she know about you and Santana?
"Santana? I … I d-don't understand." You do find yourself stuttering, while the girl looks you straight in your eyes with a wistful look. The name only makes your hear tremble, to lock you into a vortex of painful memories and emotions.
And in a second you find yourself thinking about all that you have lived with her, everything that you have decided to lose together.
"There is still hope for you, do not waste it. You can get your happy ending with her." These words utter with such sweetness that makes your soul vibrate as a plucked violin string.
"How can you tell?" You find yourself whispering, feeling your blue eyes suddenly become lucid.
"Because if you didn't, I wouldn't have been born." The girl smiles at you and you understand.
You realize what is happening around you, you know that what you're watching with all the kindness you have in your body is nothing but the fruit of love that unites you and the most important person in your life.
You feel upset, confused, happy, terrified, about to burst due to too many conflicting emotions that you feel.
You stutter, you don't know what to say. You don't know what to do.
"Right now, Mami is pretending to be fine, but she's not." A vise squeezes your heart to the realization that Santana is destroyed as much as you and that not even her pride or strength can hide the sadness in her eyes. You image Santana at her home in New York cry when Kurt and Rachel are out, hold one of your photos together tight to her chest before she goes to sleep, staring at the screen of the phone waiting for a call that never comes.
You can imagine perfectly because it is what you do the same every damn day since you have put an end to your relationship.
"She needs you." That sweet creature keeps speaking, holding your heart a new grip of pain.
You look down to hide your eyes filled with tears. Suddenly you feel overcome by a sense of fear and nausea in your own comparisons, you feel responsible to be the cause of her pain.
You do feel wrong. You do feel bad, dirty, you take all the blame because at this moment the person you love most is suffering because of you.
You feel guilty for choosing Sam to her, guilty for loving her so much to let her go away from you only to enable her to fulfill her dreams, guilty of loving her still as the first day, guilty of feel regret while kissing lips that are not hers, guilty of saying 'I love you' to the wrong person while images to whisper to her those magic words after they made love.
"You deserve it, Mommy, and you deserve to have me and all the happiness of this world." You feel these small and soft hands rest on your cheeks to force you to look up. You aren't ashamed to show your tears, you have no shame to leave them to dry away from those delicate little fingers.
"Your love is pure, don't forget it. You are doomed to be together because you're soulmates. Nothing and no one will ever separate you because you two belong together. "
You find yourself to smile at those words so true and sincere and your whole life is questioned.
You pat her hands with yours, until they disappear in your sweet intake and in a moment in your mind you projecting the future that you had always imagined ... the future you expected.
"Britt, have you seen where I put the wipes?" Santana asks the brink of despair, as she tries to hold the small Sugar on the appropriate box. Changing diapers has never been her strong suit.
She hates the smell, she hates having to scold her little princess who continues to fail, she hates having to clean up. It's always been a task suitable for a calm and quiet as Brittany.
That's why you choose to run to her aid, even though the scene was particularly hilarious.
"It's right next to you, San." You notice with a smile, looking at her while she wiggles to get the clean diaper. You see tired snort, almost whining to be so incapable in those daily actions with your child and find that it is the most adorable thing in the world.
You can't stop staring at the two most important women in your life with admiration, devotion, love. And you can't believe what you've been lucky to have Santana in your life.
"Britt ..." Her voice distracts you from your thoughts. "... Do something." You can't help but laugh at the desperate plea for help.
"I've shown you about a million times already, San." You scold her playfully, before you approach her and plant a tender kiss on the lips.
"You know that my best is to mess the whole house with her." Santana jokes, as she leans forward to pamper her little Sugar. "No one can beat us at that, right mi amor?" She asks the little girl who is smiling happily, showing the first teeth that are popping up.
Your heart fills with joy in front of that perfect picture and you realize that you can't wish for more from life.
As soon as you've covered, take your daughter in your arms and smile at your wife lovingly. "Do you think she'll be okay with Kurt tonight?"
"Absolutely darling, you don't have to worry about this. Lady Hummel loves babysitting ." She responds with a grin, and you know immediately that Santana is once again resorted to threats to get what she wants.
"This evening is just for us." She continues, approaching and clutching both in a warm embrace. "Tonight I just want to spend a happy anniversary with my wife."
Your heart melts like a popsicle in the sun and your eyes are reflected in those glossy Santana.
"I love you so San."
"I love you too Britt."
"Do not forget me, Mommy." Your daughter's voice forces you to open your eyes and the smile that she's giving you is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.
You lean towards her and squeeze your arms around her slender little body in an embrace necessary.
"I won't, honey." You mutter in her ear, her eyes narrowed as if you want to impress upon the mind at the time. But you know that isn't possible.
"I love you mom." She smiles against your skin while shaking her little arms around your neck.
You want to thank her, you would hold her in your arms a little more... but when you reopen your eyes, she is gone.
The auditorium is gone and the piano too.
You find yourself in your bedroom, with the light on the bedside table and Lord Tubbington heavily curled up at your feet.
You are still stunned by what has happened, but you know that the dream was not just a dream.
For the first time in a long time, you know exactly what to do. You don't think about the circumstances or consequences, you need to get rid of that weight to be comfortable with yourself.
You need to do it for you, for Santana, for her.
That's why your fingers are already typing a new message on your mobile phone.
To: Santana
We are destined to be together, we deserve to be happy together. Tell me that there is still a chance for us ... I love you, Britt.
And without thinking about it again you send that message, happy - for once - you've made the right choice.