Guys this is my first fanfiction so please review. This is a Edward/Bella story . There will be lemons. This was a taster and I will be updating every Monday.

All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, I am just playing around with them .

Enjoy ;)

Mood music is – Breathing (Jason Derulo), Hanging On (Ellie Goulding) and Skyscraper (Demi Lovato)

A little too late

Prologue

Bpov

It was my last chance to bail. My son gave my hand a squeeze. My kids deserved to know their father. He left me to die. He promised, he wouldn't leave me any reminders and that it would be like he had never existed. Boy was he wrong. All I saw were reminders. My memories held strong, but the greatest proof too his existence were kids that he had left me.

I could still remember those 6 months of my life clearly.

25 years ago

I lied down in my bed, his words on an endless loop in my brain. " It will be as if I never existed ." He was a liar promising me something of that sort. I felt lost, bereft and unwanted. I wasn't good enough to hold him here. I was unwanted and probably a distraction to him. I gave him my heart and soul and day of my birthday my body too.

He regretted it though. The morning after it happened I was sore and my muscles ached, but I was happy. For the first time I actually thought things might work out between us. Even though what had happened between us was unorthodox and unheard of I was ecstatic at my ability to please him, but he was practically a stranger to me in the morning. He apologized to me, told me it was something that should never have happened. He was cold and mean. It had felt like one of those 'morning afters' that I had so often read about and watched in movies.

I doubted myself. Analyzed every single thing that happened that night and wanted to find out what I had done wrong. Was I not physically appealing? Was I not enough?. Me and him we never spoke about it after that. I pretended to be unaffected by it, but internally I agonized over everything that I had done.

Three days later he told me to take a walk with him to the woods where he left me. Just like that, like I was a piece of scrap that he could discard.

How many girls had he done this to. Was I his girl toy? A plaything that he could amuse himself until it was time for them to move on. I felt hollow in my chest, like I couldn't drag in enough air into my lungs. I loved him with all my heart and soul and he just up and left. I felt a sob rip through me. How could he do this to me?

I felt like I was in a daze, going through daily motions in auto pilot mode. I lost chunks of my memory. This continued for 15 days. Charlie was going out of his mind, calling me catatonic. Dr. Gerandy wanted to put me on suicidal watch. I felt like my reason for living had gone. I felt like it had been ripped from me and everything that had been told to me was a lie. I thought he loved me, cared for me. I felt like an imbecile. How could I mere mortal Isabella Swan hold someone as great as Edward Cullen.

It was a Friday when I realized my period was late. My period was like clockwork. I had never been a day late in my life. I blamed it on my depression. I made a greater effort to appear normal. I went to school. Played the part of an ambitious student perfectly. I would avoid thoughts of him. I made myself busy with work. I studied and read. Kept my mind occupied, but still I felt hollow and breathless. I dreamt of him every night. I prayed that I was stuck in an nightmare, that I would wake up to see his golden eyes staring into mine, and the special crooked grin that was mine.

I woke up every morning feeling like there were heavy bands constricting around my chest, my heart would be racing and pounding like the wings of a humming bird. Hope of seeing him in my bed would soon give way to crushing despair. I felt like I was inside an endless dark tunnel and my only light Edward, had left. It physically hurt me. My chest and throat would constantly ache from the exertion that I would feel by suppressing my sobs.

The 25th day of his leaving fell on a Saturday. I woke up and for the first time I didn't feel crushing despair but nausea. I bolted for the trash can in the corner of my room, knowing that I would never make it to the washroom. I threw up all the food that I had eaten last night, and after there was nothing else left in my stomach I dry heaved. I felt like an ass. Thousands of girls go through heartbreak all over the world and here I was puking my guts out like a pregnant lady. It was pathetic really if you thought about it.

He had left me like I meant nothing to him and here I was pining over him. For the first time in my life I felt intense hate and anger towards Edward. I had never felt any negative emotion with such a great magnitude. Hate was good. At least it didn't feel like someone had punched a great hole into the place where my heart was. I could work with hate. But as quickly as it came it went, and it was replaced by sadness and loneliness. I couldn't imagine a future without him in it. I blinked my eyes rapidly to dispel the tears that had begun to collect there.

What with these mood swings, that had me swinging between intense longing and hate for Edward Cullen. Trust him to bring these feelings out in me and have such a great influence over me even when he was miles away doing god knows what.

I headed out to the washroom and met Charlie on my way. I wished him a good morning and he looked at me in surprise. He gave me a hesitant smile. I was puzzled by the exchange. I looked into the mirror and saw real emotion in my eyes for the first time. My cheeks were flushed from the throwing up. My eyes sparkled with an unknown emotion. I would get through this. The saying " Whatever doesn't kills you makes you stronger" flashed through my head. I would emerge stronger.

I was interrupted from my thoughts by a strange fluttering sensation in my lower abdominal region. My hands immediately went to that area, trying to find out the cause of the foreign sensation. It wasn't unpleasant just different, like butterflies fluttering inside my stomach. I picked up the grey t-shirt I was wearing and looked down. I saw my stomach had a small but distinct bump. What the hell?

I froze, it was impossible. What was going on with my body? I could not be pregnant. The only person that I had been with was Edward and he wasn't human to begin with. Vampires couldn't have children. My breath came in gasps. I wanted to yell. My mouth opened in a silent wail. I thought about and it and I was sure that I was pregnant. The mood swings, the throwing up, the baby bump, the fluttering in my stomach and the biggest proof was the absence of my periods. I felt as though my heart had expanded. I felt a rush of love for my unborn child. I would probably never be with any other man in my life, but I would have a part of Edward through my child. It was something we both had created. I loved my child already.

My child would probably not know its father but it wouldn't lack love. My love would be enough for it. I started making plans.

I went down to the dining room where Charlie was sitting reading the newspaper. I cleared my throat to announce my arrival. Charlie looked up at me and his face paled when he looked up at me. I didn't know what my face looked like but it had probably scared Charlie. He immediately got up and rushed towards me.

Charlie didn't feel comfortable showing his emotions, so all he said was a gruff " What's wrong?" I had my answer all worked out but I choked on my words. How could I an 18 year old girl take care of a child. I didn't even know if whether it was human. Tears leaked out of my eyes and I broke down. Sobs ripped through my chest and I fell onto my heels. I rocked back and forth. Charlie kept murmuring. Telling me everything was going to be alright.

I had to do this for my unborn child. I steeled myself. Got my emotions in check. I stood up and wiped my tears.

" I need a break Charlie from all this that happened in the last month, I am leaving Forks for a while." Charlie's face blanched. I could practically hear the cogs in his brain turning. I knew he would try to convince me to stay. He opened his mouth to say something but I continued with my well rehearsed speech. " Charlie I need to get my mind around all of this. I just need to be by myself for a while. I'll probably head to Aunt Judy's house. She has a house right on the beach in Phoenix and she doesn't even stay there. It's just temporary. Just for 3 months or so. Until I'm ready to move on. Please dad just for a while. I'll speak too mom about it too." I wasn't stupid. I knew I wouldn't be in any condition to come home after 3 months but if I told him that I would be gone for longer he wouldn't let me go.

" Bells you have school here, friends who care about you. You can't just leave all of that and go. You are practically running away from the situation. You can have all the space that you want at home Bella you don't need to head over to Aunt Judy's." I opened my mouth to try and convince him but he quickly continued " If you do need space Bells then you can stay with Renee for a while. I think she may be better equipped to help you out."

Time to bring out the big guns. I was really hoping to have this conversation without playing my last trump card " Charlie I am over 18 now and besides mom's busy with Phil and their travelling. I don't want to interrupt. I am an adult now and I think that I should be allowed to make this decision by myself"

Charlie blanched. He knew that I had him there. He knew that he had no custody over me and even if he didn't approve of me leaving , I could just leave the house anyway and his denial could ruin our father daughter relationship. Seeing no way out of it he gave me a slight nod of his head. Great.

Convincing my mom was even easier. She didn't even listen to my half-assed speech. She just told me that I was a responsible adult and that I should do whatever felt right to me and get myself together again.

Well I didn't see that happening any time soon. My heart was shattered into a million pieces and without Edward, they would probably remain that way. I always would try and concentrate on the anger and resentment that I would feel towards him instead of the betrayal because it helped in keeping myself composed, It helped drive me. But with it came gratefulness for giving me a child, who I could feel fluttering in my stomach.

The road trip to aunt Jude's was pretty much a disaster. I stopped at sleazy motels. You know the ones which are generally showed in those horror films, you know like Motel hell where you got served man meat. It was one of the cons of trying to save money, and let me tell you peeing in the street shrubs can be a real bitch, cause you don't know what kind of insect stays there. Oh and the throwing up sucked. First I would be ravenous, then after eating I would feel queasy and then threw up, after which the cycle would start all over again.

Coffee is a big NO when you are pregnant and driving. I was pretty sure the baby was using my bladder like one of those squishy toy.

Anyhow I finally reached there after one and a half days . I would have reached their sooner if my truck would cross fucking 50 miles an hour, and if I didn't have to pee and eat so much. Staying in Motel Hell wasn't fun either. I had inspected every piece of meat that I had been served to make sure it was chicken and not some long lost motel guest. EWW

I had spent 4 days in the beach house, during which I spent the majority of my time between eating, puking, peeing and pining for Edward. On the day 4 I ran out of groceries, luckily a helpful neighbour, who reminded me a lot of Mike Newton volunteered to go and get me some food. I kept hinting at the fact that I was not looking for a relationship but he still kept flirting with me. Either he was so stupid that he couldn't take a hint or he was really insensitive and emotionally stunted. But being friends with him had perks. Like grocery shopping.

He went out and got me the basic stuff and a lot of chicken steak . I believe his exact words were, and I quote " Girls love some good meat."

What a total freak. I just gave him an unconvincing smile and locked the door behind me. I had spaghetti for dinner that night, and went to bed.

I tossed and turned in bed. I felt queasy and knew what was about to come. I ran to the kitchen sink when I smelled something delicious. My stomach snarled and I lost all focus. I whatever it was that was generating that smell. I felt like someone else took over me and I had no control of my body. I felt crazed. I saw myself walk over to the fridge and realise it was the raw steak that smelt so good. I couldn't control myself and I took a handful of it and shoved it into my mouth. I ate 3 whole stakes and then I felt myself come to my senses.

What had I done? I had eaten raw steaks. Uncooked steaks that were still bloody, and I had liked it. I had never felt any pleasure greater that eating the steak. It even rivalled the pleasure I felt the night of my birthday with Edward. My eyes popped wide open and I finally realized that It was the blood that I craved.

My child would have vampire characteristics too, wouldn't it. My child craved blood. I was horrified. I realized I would have to ingest blood for my child, and I knew I should feel sick but all I felt was impatience. It had felt so good, ingesting the blood, that I wanted more of it. Was this the blood lust the Cullens always spoke of. Was I channelling my Child's bloodlust, or was my body changing.

The next day I struck up a deal with the local butcher where he would come over at the end of the day and give me his leftover meat and I would let him take the dates which grew on Aunt Jude's front porch.

This went on for two weeks. The child was getting stronger, and my stomach was swelling up. I realized it was probably a more accelerated pregnancy and prayed to god that I would have the strength to push my child out by myself. I often told my child about its father Edward. How we met? How he looked and how strong he was. I didn't want my child to be growing up without its father, but what choice did I have. I didn't know where he was.

It had been another two weeks and the child kicked hard enough to leave behind bruises. My appetite had increased and I barely left the house. My stomach was practically another continent. My strength was getting sapped away and my mood would sway between fear for my child, anger at Edward and the hurt and betrayal I felt after he left me.

I called Renee and Charlie once a week. Telling them that I was fine and that I was doing well. I probably didn't convince anyone about how I actually was doing but they didn't question me too much, except for Renee who had panicked when I hadn't called her the first week and had threatened to come over for a visit. I had managed to put her off though.

It had been six weeks since I came to the beach house and 10 weeks since Edward left me. I was jarred awake from a very vivid dream about the night of my birthday where Edward and I were just about to make love.

The pain was like a small pinch in my belly. I put my hands on my stomach when suddenly the pain kicked up a notch, and it kept increasing till I couldn't breathe anymore. I felt like I was being torn into half inside out. I blacked out from the pain. I woke up and saw blood all over my stomach and realized that the kids were tearing themselves out of me. I couldn't move. I couldn't scream. I just wanted to die. I wanted this torture to end. It hurt so damn much. I couldn't make sense of anything and realized that I was probably dying. In the midst of all this torture, I could make out two blurry shapes sitting in the cavity where my stomach should have been.

I realised they were my children. Twins maybe. I closed my eyes waiting for it to all end when I felt a hand on my cheek. I opened my eyes and found a pair of vivid green eyes staring into my eyes, and felt a hand touching my cheek, after which everything went black.

I awoke with a gasp, to see sunlight streaming in through the French windows. My hand flew to my stomach and realised it was flat. There was no trace of any injury on my stomach. Panic overtook me. What had happened last night? My children where were they and how was I alive. Was it all a dream? Had I finally lost it and dreamt it all up. The pain of not actually having kids left me breathless. Tears collected in my eyes.

All of a sudden I heard a slight giggle from right outside the bedroom door. I leaped up and exited the bedroom and saw a small boy with brown hair. He was kneeling over the sleeping form a girl with copper coloured hair. He was giggling and trying to wake her up. The kids looked like they were 6 to 7 months old and the boy was able to support himself.

Suddenly the boy looked up at me and I was confronted with the same pair of green eyes. It looked like he was studying me, assessing me. He suddenly broke out into a smile, that was exactly like Edward's. It was crooked. In fact he looked like a miniature version of Edward, except for the brown messy hair, and tiny button nose which looked like mine. The girl had long copper locks that fell to her waist and looked very peaceful. She again looked just like her father. Her features were sharp but her eyes were shaped like mine

They were my children. Tears blurred my vision and a feeling of extreme love grew in me. I would love them more than my life itself. I felt fear at the fact that they grew so up so fast, but I filed it away for studying later.

I still didn't understand what had happened last night. The feeling of pain was very real, and I knew I did not have the capability of imagining anything so intense. All of a sudden the boy stretched his arms out to me and I automatically moved to carry my children. It was almost painful, to not touch them and make sure that they were real. I kneeled next to them and picked up the sleeping form of my daughter in one arm and my son in the other. I kissed both their foreheads. They were beautiful.

My son grinned at me and then looked at the rousing form of his sister. She yawned and slowly opened her eyes. They were brown in colour just like mine. She smiled at me and I nuzzled her neck. She let out a small giggle and it sounded like chiming bells. She looked angelic, almost ethereal.

Both of them had pale skin. Almost Edward's colouring. Their cheeks were flushed with blood though and then, in the midst of my studying their physical features both their stomach growled simultaneously. I had not given a thought about their diet. They were probably hungry. I took them to the kitchen and fed both of them some leftover lamb blood that I had drained from the meat. They had vampire like sharp teeth. I couldn't stop staring at their faces. Both of them looked identical to their father.

While walking with them to the bedroom I stubbed my toe at the bedroom door. A small cry of pain left me. My little toe started bleeding. Both of my children stiffened in my arms. They could probably smell the blood. My son suddenly reached out a hand and placed it on my cheek just like he had last night and I felt all the pain suddenly leave me. I looked down to my toe only to find it completely healed. So that's what had happened last night. My son had healed me. He had the power to heal.

Their rate of growth was very worrisome to me though. My daughter suddenly picked up a piece of chocolate that was leftover from the midnight snack that I had had last night and popped it into her mouth. I waited for her to throw it out, but she never did, She just gave me a toothy grin and shut her eyes and fell asleep again. My son also followed his sister's lead and fell asleep.

I needed a name for my kids. I wanted to name my some Edward just like his father, and after much deliberation I named my daughter Vanessa.

I realised that I probably couldn't go back to Forks with two kids that grew super fast. I had to come up with an excuse to stay here for a while, and see how things went. Soon I too fell asleep next to my kids.

The next day I realised I needed a game plan. I needed some way to keep staying here and avoid a visit from my parents. I thought the best way to keep staying here was if I enrolled here in Phoenix at High School, finish my schooling here and then move somewhere distant for college. I could take my kids with me and then see where things went from there.

The growth rate of my kids was worrying. It felt wrong to hide them. I wanted to take them out in the sun and let them play. I wanted to take them out to amusement parks, but I was forced to keep them inside. My children didn't sparkle in the sun like their father, and could easily pass for humans if not for their fast-paced growth.

Two months passed like this. I had enrolled in an online course at Phoenix high much to Charlie's dismay. Renee seemed to understand my need for space though. Charlie had parcelled me a new alarm system and had sent me a handgun in case of emergencies.

My parents missed me and I missed them too but I couldn't do anything about it. Edward and Vanessa both could live with human food and blood, but they seemed to prefer the blood.

I could do it.

I wouldn't think about him.

I had to try and heal myself to become a better mother.

At least if Edward was here...

Damn it. 28 minutes without thinking of Edward. It was an improvement from the last time I did this.

I still felt incomplete, like a piece of myself had been ripped away from me. A tightness Originated somewhere in my chest like constricting boas, that left me breathless and crying in the nights. I still dreamt of his topaz eyes, his crooked grin, his angular jaw, his copper hair that was identical to his daughter's hair. A sob ripped through me. Why couldn't I be enough? It wasn't fair to my children to grow up without a father. I had seen Ed ( I couldn't say Edward's name out loud, because I couldn't handle the desolation that came with it so I had taken to call my son Ed. I had put Masen as his middle name, and sometimes called him that)

"Momma", I looked up in complete shock. Vanessa looked up at me and frowned. " Why are you crying?" At 3 and a half months they both looked like small 4 year olds. I couldn't cover up my shock though. My daughter's first words came when she was just 3 months. Ed looked up at me and echoed her question.

"I'm fine honey" I replied ,but my voice was off. Their growth rate was slowing but it scared me. My children were all I had left, and would die along with them too if they were taken away from me. The thought itself made sweat collect at my forehead. Ness and Ed both scooted closer to me and put their heads on my lap. I brushed Ed's hair back. It was messy and unruly just like his father's. They continued to look up at me with intelligent eyes.

Five months passed away like this. I occupied myself with schoolwork and the kids. My children had started conversing. Asking questions about anything and everything. They would read and their intelligence was higher than most 20 year olds. Their power to grasp concepts and ideas was extraordinary. They never asked about their father though. They seemed to see the sadness that would creep up in my eyes every time they asked me a question that was close to the 'Who and where's my father' question.

One morning I woke up to hear the bell ringing. I never had any visitors. I used to ignore all my neighbours so that they would get the fact that I was not interested in fraternizing with them or interacting with them in anyway. They all probably thought I was the crazy loner lady, who nobody knew anything about. Unfortunately it was necessary to distance myself from them, so that my children and I had our privacy. My children knew that they should not show themselves in case anybody came.

I walked downstairs to open the door when Ed held out his hand in front of me, trying to restrain me. His strength already rivalled mine. Both of them were growing stronger and stronger. " It's not human" he murmured. "Vampire?" I asked him. He shrugged his shoulder. "I don't know what vampire smells like Mom, I haven't really come across one." My children knew that they were hybrids. I had broken down and told them that their father was a vampire . I had given them a very very small and abridged account of him after Vanessa had asked me why they were stronger and faster than other kids.

I pushed Ed behind me. "Get inside the bedroom, and lock it behind you, don't leave the room." He didn't move though. "Go" I said through gritted teeth. He rolled his eyes. Vanessa came into the room with wide eyes. "Bedroom Vanessa now" Me and Ed told her at the same time. "You too Ed"

"Bella I know you're in there, open up"

I knew that voice. It reminded me of beaches and scary stories. A wave of nostalgia crashed over me. "Jake, coming" I replied back. " I know him, both of you upstairs now." Ed sighed " No, you can introduce us as the neighbour's kids kay. Just open the door"

I walked across the room and opened the door. Jake stepped in and his eyes grew wide when he saw the kids. "Neighbour's kids" I replied. "You're lying" He replied back, and then suddenly his eyes focused on Ness. His eyes bugged open and then his face changed into an awed look. He fell to his knees all the while keeping eye contact with her.

"what's going on? Jake?" I yelled. He snapped out of his reverie. "Bells" he whispered to me " I think I just imprinted"

"What?"

"Imprinted Bells like I kinda found my soul mate"

"What?" I shrieked. " You.. You stay away from the kids, don't come near them, you pedophile."

"Bella let me explain" I shook my head and stepped away from him. His eyes pleaded with mine and I thought to myself that I could hear him out.

He led me to the love seat in the living room and his eyes searched for Ness. Ed let out a growl and moved in front of Ness, blocking Jake's view of her. Jake did a double take when he heard the growl.

"Vampire' he growled.

In a flash Ed was in Jake's face. " Stay away from my sister you creep" venom flew out of his mouth.

"Stop" I murmured. This was getting really weird. How did Jake know the vampire thing and why was his scent off. "Jake, Explain yourself now. Ed move out of his face. Ness bedroom now please, don't make me come up there"

" We'll eavesdrop anyway" Ness murmured. I let out a breath and faced Jacob. "Explain yourself" He looked up at me and snorted, " You've got a lot to explain yourself, I don't understand anything I am seeing anyway. Is this why you haven't come home? Charlie sent me to check on you. He thought you would need some space and time and didn't want to upset you. What's the girl's name? You need to teach that boy of yours some manners a.." A hiss came from upstairs, from Ed I guess. Jacob continued on like he hadn't heard anything " As far as I know vampires can't have any kids." He said all of this in a very matter-of-fact tone.

"You first" I told him

"Fine," he rolled his eyes.

I had had the craziest two hours. I had learnt about werewolves and imprints. Alphas and Betas. In return I had told him what had happened with the Cullens, what was going on with the kids and their fast growth. Jacob absorbed all this new information like a sponge. He almost seemed unfazed. " I see" he murmured.

"You should come back to Forks" he told me.

" Have you not been listening to anything I've been saying, I can't. I have kids now. I'll probably have to fake my death or something anyway." I told him and gave him an exasperated look.

"Your kids can stay on the reservation. We'll take care of them. I am the Alpha. They can't hurt the object of my imprint, Bells. They wouldn't hurt Ed, either. You could visit your kids anytime and I could stay closer to my imprint. Everybody wins"

"Jake, I don't exactly know how I feel with the imprint phenomenon."

"It's the most logical step Bella, even for the kids "

"Aren't werewolves and Vampires enemies?" I asked

"They are human too and they're just kids. It's not their fault that their father was a vampire. Bells, I promise to give my life up to protect Vanessa.." and after a beat he said " I could even give up a limb for that boy"

And that's how one week later I found myself back in Forks.

Ness and Ed stayed on the res and quickly became loved by the Quileutes.

I finished high school and Charlie started pressurizing me about college. I balked. I had kids here. I couldn't possibly leave and go to college. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't even blame him for trying to pressurize me to go to college. It's not like he knew he what was going on. As far as he knew, I was dating Jake and I spent all my free time with him. Charlie was very happy about it too. If he knew that Jake was actually in love with his granddaughter he might have had a coronary. My life had improved dramatically though. I spent every waking hour either working or with my kids, busying myself so that I wouldn't think of Edward, but he was always there at the back of my mind. He was the last thing I thought about before going to bed and the first thing I thought of when I would wake, but with the sadness came acceptance. He left me. I couldn't do anything about it now. I knew I wouldn't be able to find anyone else to spend my life with but I had to accept the fact that Edward had never loved me and move on. Clinging on to him and every memory of him was unhealthy.

I looked healthier though. My eyes were brighter my hair was lustrous. I had new found self-confidence.

"I have the craziest idea but play it right and it might work, that is if your father doesn't shoot me" Jake told me while I watched Ed and Ness sleep.

"What?"

"Let's get married"

My mouth popped wide open. I stopped breathing. " What the fuck is wrong with you Jake. NO. Are you delusional?"

To my surprise Jake merely laughed at me. " Listen to me. You'll have to go to college and all that nonsense right? So we get married. You tell Charlie you can't go to college or that we are moving in together there. We can take Ness and Ed with us. Charlie can't question us. We can tell him we adopted kids or something. Now obviously I can't be there where ever you get an acceptance all the time because I am the alpha here, but Charlie doesn't know that . We can get a divorce later, because I plan on marrying your daughter" He winked at me.

I thought about his plan and realised that it was pretty great. " You know Jake that's a pretty good idea, hmm... It's actually kind of surprising that YOU came up with it "

"I think you just insulted me Bells."

"I've got an acceptance from the University of Alaska"

"That's fine"

I smirked at him " You know Jake, that wasn't the most romantic proposal"

He grinned, went into his room and brought out a gold band. That bastard knew that I would like his idea. He was already prepared. He came in front of me got down on one knee and said in words that were loud and clear " Isabella Marie Swan would do me the honour of being my fake wife. I promise to love you" and then in an undertone said " In a purely platonic way of course, and I promise to always protect you and the kids"

I accepted and grinned at Jacob. "I'll let you break it to the kids Jake" I murmured. Jake's eyes widened quite comically in fear. " I don't want to give Ness the wrong idea, you know. I will always want her."

I grimaced. "Jake" I used my warning tone. " You know we could move in together, and not go through the marriage crap, I mean come on. You are like a brother to me and it's just awkward." My mouth opened in horror. " I will have to kiss YOU at the wedding."

Jake's brow furrowed. Clearly he hadn't thought this through. He opened his mouth and then shut it again. His nose wrinkled and then he looked me up and down. " No to the moving in cause Charlie would shoot me. We could tell him that according to Quileute custom PDA isn't allowed. I don't think Charlie would want to see us like that anyway."

"If we tell Charlie we are getting married, then he would shoot you."

" He would rather we get married then live in sin Bella. He said using his ϋber condescending tone.

"Smartass. He knows everybody living on the reservation. He's seen Paul with Rebecca multiple times. Hell, he even walked in on them in their car."

"What? What happened then." He was ecstatic about the fact that he had blackmail material on Paul. There was no love lost between Paul and Jacob. Sure, they tolerated each other on their best days, but their relationship was very volatile. Paul couldn't accept the fact that Jacob had imprinted on a pale face. Paul felt like Jake had betrayed their people.

" Basically, Charlie was doing his night patrols when he came across this abandoned car near Mrs. Mallory's pub. He went up there to give it a ticket when the car started rocking. Now, Charlie being Charlie, didn't realise what was going on in the car. He looked through the window and saw Paul and Rebecca fornicating the car seats. They were sitting up and Paul had his hand down there and.."

"TMI Bells. Please give me the abridged version please, that's my sister you are talking about" Jake was nearly gagging. " I swear I am going to kill Paul." Boy. If looks could kill I would be a smouldering pile of ash on the doormat.

" Calm Jake." Even though I didn't really like Paul, I was starting to fear for Paul's life. Jake was shaking. Vibrating was more like it. "I'm fine, I just didn't think about them like that you know, so what happened to Paul?"

I sighed. He wasn't going to let it go. Even though it pissed him off. " Charlie saw them. I think Charlie collapsed after that. I don't exactly know what happened . Paul smelled Charlie's scent. He dressed up and came outside the car, and found Charlie dry heaving. Needless to say they couldn't look each other in the eye after that day. They still can't. But we are way off topic, Jake. I'm okay with the marriage thing. But I am going to divorce you, and if I do have to kiss you during the wedding, then it's a onetime thing. You explain it to the kids and I will explain it to Charlie. Renee is going to kill me." I grimaced.

It was on the 19th of August, when I found myself walking down the aisle in a white simple dress hand in hand with my father.

My thoughts went to Edward. In another universe, instead of Jake it could have been Edward standing there and my marriage wouldn't be a sham. Tears collected in my eyes.

I had started to lose my faith in love. Whoever said that 'It was better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all' really was an ignorant dumb-ass He probably had never fallen in love or he had had a very happy life with his wife.

I still cried over Edward. I still struggled to breathe in the nights and sometimes I felt like someone was trying to drown me. I would feel like I was suffocating. I hated and loved him.

I kept myself busy with the children so that I wouldn't have to think about him. The kids now resembled 11 year olds. They were highly intelligent. The Quileutes had found out legends where the kids would grow for 2 years and then would stop growing when their bodies resembled that of 18 year olds. It was a Quileute legend where they were warned not to get physically involved with a vampire. The mother's would die while giving birth to "demon spawns" it said.

Ness and Masen had come to the wedding. They were introduced as Emily's cousins. The wedding was a small and intimate affair. Only close friends and family was invited. My mother had surprisingly supported me in my decision to get married. She told me that I was far more mature than she was. Charlie nearly shot Jake. He yelled and made a huge scene. He asked me if whether I was pregnant. I had laughed on his face. Too late to ask that Charlie. I had used the "I am 18 years old Charlie and I can do whatever I want" card on him. He had turned puce and I thought he was having a stroke. Having no choice he had to get on-board with the idea. The Quileute's knew about the whole wedding sham, but helped me out. "You're going to have only one first marriage Bella" My mother had told me. I had given her an unconvincing half smile and downed a shot of Tequila that Leah had slipped me. I realized that drinking helped to loosen me. I would never have more than 3 shots though. Whenever in emotional pain, have a shot. It should have been on the commercials that promoted Tequila.

Edward probably never thought of me as the type of girl that had Tequila. I hadn't made a habit of it though, I was a mother after all. Masen wasn't really his father's greatest fan. Masen hated his first name. He wouldn't answer to any other name but Masen. He called his father a coward. Ness had a very gentle and forgiving nature that was identical to mine. She was naïve. I was afraid that her attitude would get her hurt someday. She didn't like her father, but it didn't necessarily mean that she disliked him. She never spoke against her father though and would always tell Masen to stop slandering him. They often had fights because of this.

The wedding itself was a blur. I remembered reciting my vows and the 'I do'. I sounded out of it. Almost like a robot. Jake gave me an understanding smile. I put on the largest fake smile that I could, and faced the throng of well wishers. My face hurt. I just wanted to be alone so that I could break down. I would never get married again and my one and only marriage was a sham. I was now Isabella Swan-Black. It didn't even sound right. If there was a god up there he or she was cruel.

My attitude had hardened considerably and I wasn't the naïve girl any longer. I had matured and my face had lost its roundness. It had brought out my cheekbones and made my face more attractive. I had changed a lot.

After the wedding I left for my fake honeymoon to Alaska, where Jake and I would directly start studying in the University of Alaska. Little did they know that there was no honeymoon and that Jake and I were moving there to Alaska to stay with my kids in peace.

I sat in the BMW Z4 roadster that Jake had built from scratch. It was a beautiful piece of machinery. Hanging out with Jake and the kids had made me a car geek. I had helped him put finishing touches to the vehicle.

After getting rice thrown at us, we sat in the car. I waved goodbye to Charlie and Renee. We picked up the kids from The Lodge and left for the airport. I let the tears fall down in the dark. Of course the supernatural beings in the car could smell the salt and, immediately all three of them put their hands on my shoulders and tried to console me.

" All brides are supposed to cry on their wedding guys." I told them.

They all gave me sympathetic looks, but I could see anger in Masen's eyes. I knew if I didn't stop crying then Masen would start insulting his father all over again and I didn't want to go through that again. So I gave them a placating smile and told them that I was alright. I leaned my head back against the backrest of the car and thought about my birthday night.

"Kiss me again Edward, please" I pleaded with him.

"Bella no. You aren't the only one who gets carried away." He looked at me with his Topaz eyes.

I pouted. He sighed and gave in. His hard lips touched mine. Suddenly his lips turned frantic. Like he couldn't get enough of me. He took in my bottom lip into his mouth and sucked it. I felt his tongue touch the tip of mine. I was quite happy with the turn of events. He rolled on top of me. I could feel his body press into mine. A groan left his lips.

I could feel his arousal pressing against my pelvic bone. His thigh was in between mine. I felt a foreign tingle in my lower half. I ground against his thigh. "Bella" He moaned. He ground into my pelvic bone. His lips moved down towards my neck. His tongue traced a line from under my earlobe to the hollow of my throat. He pushed down the collar of my pajamas and kissed there.

My hips had started moving up and down in a rhythm, and pressed into his thigh. The friction was taking me upwards and onwards towards ecstasy. Quite suddenly I found myself without a T-shirt. His hands were everywhere. Edward looked into my eyes, they were black, full of hunger and lust. His eyes slowly moved down towards my chest. His eyes widened comically and I would have laughed if we were in any other situation.

"Beautiful" He murmured. I felt his hand trace the top of my breast, after which he cupped it. His rolled the nub in between his fingers. I hissed in pleasure. He experimented and saw my reactions to different motions. My eyes had closed with the sensations coursing through me when suddenly I felt his tongue there. A choked moan left my lips. He suckled and licked it.

I don't know how it had happened but we had found ourselves naked and I felt his hand against my heat. He rubbed me there, and I felt a finger enter me. "You're so wet" he murmured.

"For you" I whispered back. His fingers slid in and out of me while his thumb rubbed me. My pleasure reached its peak point, where I orgasmed.

I then felt him slide into me. It was uncomfortable at first, but Edward looked like he was in heaven. His face was scrunched in concentration and his breathing was heavy. I felt him reach my hymen. He looked at me and I nodded. He quickly pushed in and I felt a sharp pain. My breath stopped. He stopped moving and waited for me to give him the OK.

The pain slowly faded and gave way to pleasure. I moved my hips upwards and urged him to move. He got the message and slid in and out of me, slowly. He was hitting the belly ache square on. Unintelligible sounds started pouring out of my mouth and I started moaning his name.

His speed slowly sped until pleasure ripped through me again. I could feel him pulse inside me and felt cold liquid sliding down my thighs. He continued to move. Cold sliding against hot until he stopped. He slid out of me then and I told him that I loved him. He whispered something back but I felt myself losing consciousness.

The next morning I had woken up in his arms. They were rigid around me. I looked up at him and saw his face was rigid. Without any emotion.

"Edward? What's wrong" I asked him.

He extricated his arms from my body and turned away from me, like he couldn't look at me anymore.

"Bella I'm sorry. Last night shouldn't have happened. I don't know what came over me." His tone was bland. His mouth scrunched in disgust.

"Edward, it's fine. Last night was the best night about my life. Do you regret it?" I asked him and waited for his answer with bated breath.

"Yes" He answered back. Hurt ripped through me but I controlled my emotions. "Alright, it won't happen again" I answered back. My tone was a mirror of his. Devoid of any emotion. I am pretty sure the hurt I felt was plastered across my face. Written on the lines of my forehead, but he didn't give any further comment, nor did he try to comfort me.

We barely spoke for two days, and never talked about that night. He was distancing himself from me. I could feel it. Had I done something wrong? . Edward didn't come over to my house at night anymore. He didn't show me any sign of affection. I didn't understand his aversion to that night. I tried to ask him about why it couldn't happen again, but he shut me down by giving me a cold stare.

Of course he then took me to the forest and left me there. Which explained his cold behavior He had never loved me. He slept with me and then dumped me. He had treated me like a one night stand after that night.

I was 19 and my 20th birthday was coming up in 5 months. Classes were easy in the University of Alaska. My children looked like 15 year olds and would attend school. I had created fake transcripts for them from a contact that my building security guard had given me. His name was Jenks. I did business with him through the phone.

He had mailed me Masen's and Ness's fake passports and school transcripts. They were transfer students from Europe and were my cousins.

They didn't have any problems catching up with studies. Masen had girls fawning over him, but never paid them any attention. Sure he would flirt with them but that was it. At least that's what he told me.

Jake was working as a mechanic at a famous auto shop and raked in quite a huge amount of money. Masen, Ness and I, all three of us had jobs. Ness did babysitting and took 20 dollars an hour and Masen took tuitions for younger kids. I waited tables at a local restaurant and much to my surprise got amazing tips. It's amazing how far a smile to a customer can take you.

Our monthly income was in fact quite large. Jake got 2000 dollars a month, and I got 3000 dollars a month including tips. Masen and Ness each earned 500 dollars by themselves. We earned 6000 dollars a month and it was more than enough for us. The college had given me a full scholarship so I didn't need to spend a dime for my education. Masen and Ness both were very good at sports and academics, thus the amount I had to pay for their schooling was reduced by fifty percent.

The Alaskans were a group of very generous people. I barely spent 300 dollars behind their schooling. My children always had whatever they wanted. I told them to use the money that they earned by themselves for unnecessary things such as salon trips. Masen would use his charm on the female shop staff for discounts and Ness was no different.

I had just come back from college and was cooking myself spaghetti. The kids had gone with Jake to hunt. They preferred to ingest blood. The house was eerily quiet without them. They were going through the punk phase. Both of them would stay locked in their rooms with music blaring so loud that, you could hear it from outside the house. We lived in a duplex house. The college had assigned us that apartment after much begging and pleading. It hadn't come for free though. We paid 1500 dollars a month even after the college paying, part of the rent. Ness was trying to charm the house owner to further reduce the price though.

The apartment was quite nice. It was homey. On entering it you would find yourself in a spacious hall. It had a leather couch set and a 52 inch flat screen. It had a bookshelf and a small coffee table. We made sure to have lots of fresh flowers there. On its right was a small compact kitchen. There was a dining room that had a long table. There were buffet cabinets that lined the right wall of the dining room, and it had a glass wall that overlooked the city. We were up in the 22nd floor. There was a bathroom that had a glass sliding door and a shower big enough for 3 people. There was one bedroom downstairs that was occupied by Jacob. He had strict instructions from me, and was not to be found anywhere near my daughters room at night. Even though Ness and Jake were at the friends stage, I didn't want to take any risks. There was a storage room that we had converted into a game room. It had black leather couches and bean bags. A 62 inch TV covered the walls and an Xbox was there. The room was littered with game CDs. I myself was addicted to Halo and COD. Ness had rescued a foosball table from a dumpster and bought it home one evening three months ago, which was placed against the north wall there.

Upstairs, there were three bedrooms. One for each of us. I had a queen sized bed in my room. A dresser and a wardrobe was there in my room. It was painted a soft beige and my furniture was coloured a light brown colour that complemented the beige. A long mirror hung down the side of my bed. My way of dressing had changed. I dressed in clothes that flattered my curves. I let loose more. I sweared more often. I would ride a motorcycle to college. I was a different girl. I was very popular with the boys in college and I took advantage of it. I wasn't a slut, but that didn't mean I didn't sleep around. I took every measure necessary to forget Edward. When it came to my kids I was very responsible though. I had killed the old Isabella Swan off, who would cry for Edward Cullen every night. I had transformed into a new, and more fun person. Of course I still loved Edward , and he was there in each of my thoughts but I made an effort to not acknowledge them.

Ness's bedroom was more feminine. Her walls were lavender, and her furniture was white. She had a study table that was attached to a book rack. She had a macbook on her study table. She had a dresser with a mirror and an enormous wardrobe. She had a single bed. All her furniture was white in colour. Her room was always pristine and clean at first glance but the moment somebody would open her wardrobe, clothes would come tumbling out. She reminded me of Alice. All her clothes were branded and when she made an effort to dress well, she turned heads. Her closet was full of bright colours., and I could get lost in them. Jake would hide any clothing that he felt was short or inappropriate and he hated it when males looked at her. As a mother I too was very protective of my daughter. She was a cheerleader and a pair of blue pompoms would always be placed on her study desk. Photos of us were placed all over the walls there.

Masen's room was always messy. He had the all American dressing style. He was always in a pair of jeans and some sort of polo shirt. His room would always be littered with books and clothes. He would always make a conscious effort in dressing even though he denied it. I knew he secretly enjoyed the attention that he received from the females. Even 40 year olds would flirt with him. Jake sometimes would have to restrain me from slapping the cougars. Masen's green eyes were piercing and his smirk had the ability to turn all women except for me and his sister into goo. His pout and puppy eyed look was another thing entirely. Masen always got what he wanted. His pout had the ability to melt my heart. Even Jake was affected by it. Ness would huff at us when we would fall prey to it. He had a double bed, because of his ability to move all over the bed when he was asleep. He nearly broke my ribs one day when he kicked me in his sleep. He had 3 huge speakers placed strategically on 3 walls. He was arrogant and had something of an attitude. He was stubborn and opinionated, but he had a very good heart. He never treated me with anything other than respect, he would always be the first to apologize if we fought and he barely ever lied. He and Ness fought like cats and dogs though. He had posters of famous musicians lining the wall. He played the guitar and piano. The guitar was always placed on the right side of his bed and the piano was placed in the guest room. I never told him that his father used to play the piano. I was afraid that he would stop playing if he knew that. I saw a lot of Edward in him. They both had the same sparkle in their eyes and they had identical faces.

There were two bathrooms on the top floor. Much to Masen's and Ness's dismay they both had to share one bathroom. Masen didn't want to share a bathroom with Ness because of her 'Girly shit' as he put it and Ness didn't want to share her bathroom with him because he always left the bathroom in a mess. Both the bathrooms upstairs had a bathtub/Jacuzzi.

I was broken out of my thoughts by the phone ringing. I quickly picked it up and asked who it was. The man on the line told me that it was the bank.

"Mrs. Black, your account has had a rather large sum of money deposited into it by a Anthony Edward. Do you know who it is?" They asked me.

I froze. There was only one person who could go by that name. I had to clear my throat twice to speak.

"Yes, I do know him" My voice broke at the end.

"Ma'am he's made a deposit of 200,000 dollars to your account. He called the Forks, Washington branch of our bank. He said that he would be making monthly deposits of 200,000 dollars to your account. He also said that he was sorry?" The bank manager enquired.

"I don't want it. Call him back. Tell him I don't need his money." My voice didn't hide the pain and hurt I felt. He thought he could pay me money in return for his forgiveness. How dare he. Who did he think he was.

"Ma'am with all due respect, I can't do that. He doesn't have an account with our bank and he didn't leave us a number to contact him with. Our caller ID didn't pick up his number either. The money has been deposited to your savings account to do as you wish." He replied back. He was probably befuddled by my behaviour. I bet he didn't get too many customers trying to return 200,000 dollars.

"Fine, I can't do anything about it, can I? But the next time this man calls tell him I don't need his money. Is that clear?" I asked him.

"Of course ma'am , but there are a few options you could consider. You could consider our gold premium banking package..."

" I really have to go. How about I call you in two days time, to talk to you about my banking options, yes" I told him in a placating voice. I hung up on him after that.

I neither wanted nor needed his money. We had a decent income and we were doing quite okay. I knew Masen and Ness would need cars because they would be getting their permit within another three months, and I knew that our savings were quite low. The amount of money that we spent behind clothes was quite high and our BMW was getting old, but I couldn't take his money.

The kids came back from hunting and ran towards the bathroom.

"I call dibs on the bathroom" Ness called out. Masen groaned out loud.

"Mom, tell her that I need to use the bathroom" Masen called out to me. He came in the living room and found me sitting on the leather couch, staring blankly at the flat screen. I spent years trying to forget him. And bang, he goes ahead and does something like this. I was pretty sure that the money that he was paying me didn't even make a dent in the fortune that the Cullens had, but it hurt. He thought he could buy my forgiveness. How cheap did he think I was. Feelings that I tried to keep repressed inside bubbled out of me. My eyes turned glassy. I blinked rapidly, trying to get rid of the moisture in my eyes.

"Mom what's wrong?" Masen asked me.

"Nothing's wrong sweetheart." I told Masen.

"You're a terrible liar mom" Masen put his palm on my shoulder and squeezed it. His looked me in the eye and asked me again, "What's wrong, did something happen. "

Jake sat on the loveseat and looked at me with concerned eyes. "Bells, what is it?"

Ness came down the steps in a blur of blue and white. Her hair was wet and glistening. She bit her bottom lip and looked at me with concerned eyes.

"It's your father. He's wired 200,000 dollars to my account. He told the guy at the bank that he would send it every month. He told them that he was sorry, I told them I didn't want it, but they couldn't return the money at that point. I told them not to accept the next transfer."

I looked up at their faces. All of their faces showed shock. Jake was the first to snap out of it. "Why would he send you money now?"

"It looks like he's trying to buy his forgiveness. How cheap does he think I am? I don't want his money. His money never attracted me to him."

"Take it"

"What?" I yelled.

"Take it mom" Masen told me. "It's the least he could do after everything that he's done to you."

"We don't need it. I don't want to put myself in his debt." I yelled.

" Mom after everything you've told us about the Cullens, we know that they can afford it. It's not going to financially impair them or something right"

Ness nodded her head. He did have a point but I wasn't comfortable doing this."It's morally incorrect. Taking money from someone like this is wrong"

This time it was Ness who answered me " He's willingly giving it to you. You aren't taking it from him mom" I looked at Jake to back me up. I was warming up to the idea though.

"It's your call Bella. Look we have money, but we could use some more. You don't have to use it. You could save it for emergencies. We can do some snooping of our own and return all the money later when we have the means. We could use a new car, and the college isn't going to keep paying the rent to the apartment" Jake told me.

"Fine" I conceded. "I'll call the bank and tell them to keep it coming"

An hour later I called up the bank. I told the man to tell Mr. Anthony Edward that he was a bastard and that he could keep paying me, but I wasn't going to forgive him. I also had to get a gold banking membership or something like that.

I wasn't very comfortable doing something like this but I was outvoted. I vowed to myself that I would find some way to pay Edward his money back.

It had been three years since I got the call from the bank about the deposits. The money kept coming though. Ness and Masen were in college here in the university of Alaska and I was graduating with in a year. They had convinced me to use the money to buy them both a car each. Masen got a maserati grancabrio sports car that was black in colour. I got a Maserati Ghibli. I also had a Harley Davidson bike, that I used more often. Ness got a Porsche Carrera 911 turbo that was cherry red in colour. Jake bought himself a Lamborghini Aventador that was yellow in colour and was a limited edition. Of course we splurged. We got 2.4 million dollars a year from Edward. I quickly got used to the fact that we were officially rich.

I was chopping vegetables in the kitchen when the door to my apartment suddenly flung open. It startled me and the knife slipped in between my fingers and cut a good portion of my left index finger. I gasped in pain and the sight of the blood, that was gushing, or more like squirting out of my finger made me feel woozy.

Masen rushed towards me. I could see the bloodlust on both their faces. Masen's nostrils were flared and I could see the venom pooling in his mouth. They both cut off their breathing. It was so similar to what took place in the Cullen house two days before their departure, that the pain of it took my breath away.

Masen clenched his teeth and spoke to me. " Mom it's okay. Let me heal it kay" He walked forward and placed his palm on my cheek. A numbing sensation passed through my hand and when I looked down at it, my hand was healed. My hand and shirt was bloody though. Masen quickly left the room, the smell of the blood being too much for him.

His healing abilities were so useful. I was still quite clumsy and Masen had to use his ability on me at least once in two weeks. I quickly washed all the blood off and put bleach on the kitchen sink. I went upstairs and got changed. I would probably have to burn this shirt. Too bad I actually liked it.

I came back downstairs to find Masen, Ness and Jake sitting on the couch. I frowned when I saw Jake and Ness on the loveseat. They had taken their relationship to the next stage, and had moved into the same room, which had led to a huge fight between me and them. She told me that she was fully grown and that she knew what she was doing. They were very much in love though, and I couldn't really do anything about it, so I had to concede. Masen though showed no signs of settling down. He went through girls like he changed clothes. I had tried to speak to him about this issue but he had shut me down quickly. He told me he would never hurt a girl like their father hurt me. He told me they all knew the risks of being in a relationship to him, and that he was very clear with them. He told me that he wanted to be sure that he loved a girl, unlike his father and then settle down. I couldn't argue with him after that.

They all had shocked looks on their faces, though Jake's face had the hint of a smile. "Mom something happened while we were hunting today." Ness told me. There was excitement on her face.

"What?" I asked her. I couldn't help but be scared.

"I think I have a power" She said.

Ness would often be jealous of Masen because he had a power. She never said anything but it bothered her. You could tell. I didn't mind that she didn't have a power, but she was disappointed. So when she told me that she had discovered a power I couldn't help but smile and feel happy.

"What is it?" I asked her. I hated being out of the loop, and I felt like it was one of those moments when I was out of the loop. It felt like they had a secret and they wouldn't tell me what it was. I felt left out.

"We were hunting, and Jake as usual was showing off his great hunting skills" She said sarcastically. Jake rolled his eyes at her.

"And..." I asked. I was quite impatient.

"I wished he would be human. I started to wonder what he would be like. I was concentrating on it actually when suddenly Jake started getting shorter. Like from 6'7 to 6'1. His temperature reduced to 98 degrees. His scent changed to a human one mom. It was so cool. But he could change into a wolf still and had the speed and scent of a wolf. It was just his appearance and scent that I altered. I think I can mask the supernatural aspect of a being. Isn't that cool. I know it isn't as awesome as Masen's healing ability but it's cool. He had his strength and all but we couldn't detect that he was a werewolf. He looked and smelled human. Even his heart rate had reduced."

"That's great Ness" I said. I kept thinking of the possibilities. I had thought of becoming a vampire for a while now though. I was getting older and I couldn't leave my kids alone. I was 23 already.

"We practiced it a couple of times" Ness told me in an excited tone.

I grinned. "It was the creepiest thing I ever saw in my life. Jake had started to shriek like a girl when it happened for the first time." Masen said.

Jake rolled his eyes. I was very happy for Ness. I knew Masen's ability affected her. I wished for the millionth time for Edward to be here. I wanted him to see his kids.

I was 24 and I had graduated. I was teaching literature in a high school at Alaska. Masen and Ness were in university.

I was teaching As You Like It to the kids, and they seemed to be enjoying it.

"Touchstone's character was much like the stone it was made of, he judged people's character like touchstone, the stone that had the ability to differentiate between fool's gold and gold..." I continued to teach them when my phone rang. I removed it from my pocket to silence it when I saw it was Sue Clearwater, Charlie's girlfriend.

She never called me on my mobile. If she wanted to talk she would call Jake, who would give his phone to me to speak to her. I didn't even know that she had my mobile number. I excused myself from the classroom and walked outside the class, into the hallway.

"Sue, this is a surprise"

What she told me made my world crash. A pained cry came out of me, and then I saw everything go black. When I woke up I was in the school clinic. The doctor was poking and prodding me. No doubt using my unconsciousness as a advantage to touch me. The school doctor was a huge flirt and didn't understand his limits. I pushed his hand away, and then I remembered the phone call that I received from Sue. I started to sob.

I had to call Jake.

"Where's my phone" I whispered.

The doctor, who had a panicked look on his phone, quickly handed me my phone. "You had dropped it in the hallway when you lost consciousness, I'll give you some privacy" He muttered. He quickly left the room. He didn't react well to tears I realised. He had a look of discomfort on his phone when I was sobbing.

I picked up my phone and dialled Jake's number.

"Hey" he said on the phone. I couldn't help myself. I broke down for the second time.

"Bella! Bella what's wrong? Bella! Can you hear me" He frantically yelled on the phone.

"Jake... I need you... to pick..pick me up" I could barely understand myself due to the sobs.

"You're at school right? Right Bella? I'm coming kay. It'll be okay Bella." I could hear the engine of his car running. He hung up on me.

15 minutes later I saw Jake barrelling through the clinic doors. He stopped in his tracks when he saw me. I'm sure I looked hideous. I looked at myself in the small mirror at my side. I looked like Samara. My hair was all over my face, tear tracks lined my face. My eyes were red and my nose was running. Occasionally muffled sobs would break through.

"Bella, let's get home, kay."

I shook my head. " I booked two tickets to Forks"

Jake looked at me curiously. " Why? "

"Sue called" I told him.

"Why what happened?" he asked

"It's Charlie, Jake. He had a heart attack and..and..he didn't...he didn't..m..m" I couldn't get the sentence out. Charlie was a constant in my life. I couldn't imagine life without him. We didn't see each other very often because I wasn't able to leave Ness and Masen by themselves. But I called him at least twice a week.

Jake's eyes filled with tears. He didn't say anything. He just came and hugged me.

Everything was blurry after that. Jake had told Masen what had happened and he had packed for us. We went to Charlie's funeral, where I was expected to speak. I couldn't though. It didn't feel like enough. There was so many things unsaid between me and Charlie though. I never told him that I loved him and that he was the best father in the world. He could never meet his grandchildren.

They lowered his casket in the ground, and I felt like a part of me was placed there with him in the casket. I couldn't imagine living a life without him. I saw my mother for the first time in 3 years and saw that she had aged. Her temples were grey and she had crinkles in the corner of her eyes. She too shed tears for the man she had once loved. I held her hand tightly, and her touch grounded me.

The ceremony was beautiful though. Sue told me that Charlie had left me his house, and all of his savings. I didn't want the money and gave it to her. She asked me if whether I wanted to sell the house. I couldn't bear to even think about selling the house. It held so many memories of Charlie and Edward.

"No" I said.

I visited the house after the funeral. Sue and her kids had moved into the house with Charlie. I walked into my room and realised that Leah had taken my bedroom. My cupboard was filled with her clothes and my desk had her books on it. I felt a sense of relief when I saw her things in my room. I didn't want any reminders of my old room. I didn't want reminders of the life with Edward Cullen that I had. I had spent six years trying to forget about him, but I could still imagine him here. The window where he would climb through, the way he would pace my room when I would irritate him.

I fell to my knees and cried. I mourned for Charlie, and for the loss of the life that I could have had with Edward. I cried and cried until Leah found me in her room. She used her werewolf strength to pick me up. She cradled me and put me on the bed. I was embarrassed at my display of emotion.

"I'm sorry" I said in hoarse voice.

"It's alright Bella. I lost my father too. At first you're in denial. You can't accept the fact that they're gone. It feels like you won't be able to move on. You feel like there were so many things unsaid between both of you. You consider the what ifs. Then comes acceptance. That hurts the most. You cry and cry and you can't stop. After which you feel numb for a while. You can't imagine carrying on without him. You look at other people and wonder how they are functioning so normally, how they are so happy. But eventually enough time passes. Life moves on. You won't ever get over it but after a while you'll be able to think about him with a smile on your face. You'll be able to cherish the happy times that you had with him."

I couldn't say anything.

"I don't know if this will upset you more or if whether it will help you feel better Bella, but I want to give it to you" She got up from the bed and walked to the dresser. She removed an envelope and a CD case. My breath stopped. I could have recognised that CD case anywhere. It was Edward's birthday present. She handed it to me. I looked at the CD with wide eyes. I felt numb. I almost welcomed the feeling. A wave of nostalgia swept through me, I remembered Edward's excited Topaz eyes when he had given it to me. The envelope held the photos that Edward had stolen from me. The first photo was a picture of him. My imagination had not done justice to him, I felt like someone was stabbing me in my heart.

"Where did you find this?" I asked her.

"Under the floorboards. I was going to have the floor carpeted, but then thought against it."

She eyed me warily, like she was afraid of my reaction. "Thank you" I told her.

Two days later I flew back to Alaska. I went home and was engulfed in hugs that Masen and Ness gave me. I smiled at them, but it felt phony. I had missed them a lot though. I washed up and ate dinner that Ness had made for me. The kids were treating me like I was made of glass. They were talking in low voices around me and looking at me sympathetically. I couldn't take it anymore.

"I have something for you both" I told them.

"Oh!" they said. Masen raised an eyebrow and Ness eyed me curiously. Masen looked exactly like Edward when he did that.

"I have pictures of your father" I said. I didn't want to give them the CD. The CD was mine, and I felt possessive of it, besides I didn't Masen to know of the fact that his father too played the piano. They both frowned at me.

I went to the suitcase and got the photos out. Masen backed away from them but Ness stepped forward. She took the photos from my hand and peeked at them. She glared at Masen and he too stepped forward to see Edward. I knew they were curious about what he looked like, since I had had no photos of him.

Ness had a smile on her face and I saw tears fall down her eyes. Masen's face was void of any emotion. "We look alike" he said. He said it with no inflection or emphasis. His tone was bland. Ness looked up at me and I could see the pain in her eyes. "I wish he was here" she said. She sniffled and Jake immediately had her in his arms, consoling her. Jake couldn't bear to see Ness in any kind of pain.

Later in the evening she had framed the photos and kept it in her room. I had kept just one photo of him with me. It was the one where I smiled at the camera and he was looking at me. His arms were wound around my waist. The look on his face was probably that of affection, but it could be easily mistaken for love. I was so happy then. The difference between that Bella and this Bella was so great. I was no longer naϊve. My face was more angular, my eyes didn't light up like that anymore and I never smiled like that anymore.

I had two days left for my 25th birthday. I had come back home after a very stressful day at school. I was tired and sleepy. I repressed a yawn. Jake had gone to the grocery shop to buy some ice cream. I rubbed my eyes and willed them to not shut, and I stifled a yawn. I entered my house and immediately felt a cold chill down my spine. I felt eyes on me. My heart rate sped up, and my fight or flight instinct kicked in. I could feel that something was very wrong. Where was Jake when you needed him? I took two steps backwards, heading towards the door, when I heard the door snap shut. I whirled and saw nothing except the door shut.

"Bella, over here" I heard someone say. I turned around and the first thing that I saw was flaming red hair, my eyes then traveled downwards. Her features were sharp and her eyes were dark. She had a sinister smile on her face.

"Victoria" I said. I was terrified. The look on her face confirmed what I already knew. She was here to kill me.

"Sorry I took so long to get to you. Your boyfriend thwarted all of my attempts to get you. It took some time to evade him"

Boyfriend? Jake had never told me anything about Victoria.

"I didn't do anything to you Victoria., and Jake is not my boyfriend. Please let me go."

"I meant Edward. He killed James, my mate. I'll kill his"

"You've made a huge mistake. Edward left me. I'm not his mate. He didn't love me Victoria. Please..Please Victoria" I pleaded

She snorted and her eyes danced with laughter. " You're stupider than I thought you were"

This conversation wasn't making any sense. Edward was trying to protect me because he wanted forgiveness, just like the cash he sent every month.

"He does it out of guilt Victoria, not love."

She looked at me with knowing eyes. "Goodbye Bella, tell James I said hello. Tell him that I love him."

With no warning she blurred in front of me. Her teeth slid through my skin, and then I felt pain. I yelled. I went blind with the pain. I heard a loud crash and saw Jake fighting with Victoria. I yelled again and Jake's eyes net mine. Victoria used his distraction to her advantage. She blurred out of the room.

Jake ran towards me. "Bella! " he said. He shook me. I had no strength to move. My head lolled to the side and he saw the bite on my neck. He gasped.

I was in and out of consciousness for the next three days. I heard Masen's yells and Ness's cries. Every time I cried out in pain Ness and Masen would be there to soothe me. The pain was so great that I just wanted to die. I felt like I was being burnt at the stake. I wanted it to end.

At the end of three days my heart finally stopped beating. My eyes opened and I saw the world around me with new eyes. I could literally see everything. Everything was so clear. I looked into my children's eyes. They were at the far end of the room. My throat burnt. I felt thirsty. Like I hadn't had anything to drink in a thousand years.

I inhaled and I smelled a thousand different scents. It was almost overwhelming. The scent of my kids made my mouth water. My eyes must have shown my thirst, and they both stepped back. I didn't want them to be afraid of me. I reigned in my thirst. I found it easier than I thought it would be, to control my thirst.

"I'm fine" I said. My voice had changed. It sounded smoother. My skin was pale and my teeth was sharper. "I need to hunt. The thirst is messing with my head"

Jake stepped in front of the kids and said " I'll take you kay. How're you feeling"

"Except for the thirst I feel great."

"That's good" Jake said.

I looked at my kids. "We'll talk after you get back mom" Masen said. They both gave me a reassuring smile. I smiled back at them.

Jake took me to the forest where he taught me how to hunt. I drained a panther and a buck.

I could run extremely fast. So fast that even Jake had trouble keeping up with me. "Slow down Bells" he said.

I laughed at him. He smiled at me in response. When we got back home my thirst was temporarily curbed. Masen and Ness sat on the lounger and they looked up at me.

"First things first mom" Ness said. She focused on me and I felt a tingling sensation. My skin softened and my heart started to beat and my scent changed, but I could still see things with clarity and I still had vampiric speed and strength.

"There you look human. Now I took the liberty to call up the school and tell them that you're sick and won't be able to attend school. You'll have to stay at home until you can be around humans. Don't worry about your appearance. I'll be able to control your appearance from miles away. You need to learn how to move like a human, Masen's going to help with that. I will help you with acting human. You are also going to have to control your strength, again I am going to teach you that, because Masen cheats in games by using some of his vampire strength."

"I do not" Masen said indignantly.

I grinned at their behaviour. I knew I would be able to get through this.

Present Day

I had tracked the Cullens down to Reed College in Portland, Oregon. I Knew they were going to be attending this college. I was going to be teaching at Reed College. Masen was standing next to me, reassuring me. We got out of my Audi A6. It was one of our least conspicuous cars. Our more luxurious cars were in storage. I looked like a human courtesy to Ness.

Masen was here to arrange his schedule with the receptionist. Ness had already come in the morning and done so. We had a large 6 bedroom house near Willamette river. It was always rainy here so this was a good place for the Cullens to come.

The Swan-Blacks were very rich. I taught in colleges and got a lot of money. We had money invested, that yielded a lot of money. We even had real-estate. I owned about 35 high rise buildings. I even helped Jenks's son Jay in developing fake passports and IDs. We earned about 2 million dollars a month. We had more money that we could use.

I had tracked the Cullens through Jenks to Buffalo in New York a couple of years ago. By that time I had a lot of money and I bought them a Lykan Hypersport car which was priced as 3.5 million dollars, a Lamborghini Veneno priced at 5.3 million dollars, A dodge Viper Concept for 3 million dollars, a Mazda Furai Concept of 4 million dollars, a Audi Avus Quatro priced at 4 million, a Ferrari pininfarina for 5 million and a Jaguar XJ13 for 15 million. I had them sent to the Cullens front yard, with a message that said that they could choose which car they wanted, and that money Edward couldn't but my forgiveness. I had written that These cars were bought with my own money and that I was richer than them. I told Edward that I had bought him the Jaguar though and that they wouldn't be able to return the cars. Edward stopped sending me money after that.

I wanted my kids to know their father, and hence I was in front of Reed College. Classes weren't starting for another week though. I wouldn't tell Edward about the kids right away. I wanted to hurt him like he did me. I had told my kids that they were not supposed to tell Edward anything about their relationship to him. I wanted to see if whether he could work it out by himself.

I tracked Edward here through Jay. I told the receptionist the same thing that I told everybody else. That I was 43 years old and that I had two children. I was divorced, but stayed with my ex-husband because my kids were attached to him. Her eyes widened when I told her about the ex-husband part.

I walked back to my car half an hour later, wondering what would happen next week.

A/N- Wow 15000 words. Love it, hate it? Please review. I will post a chapter next week on Monday. This is my first Fanfic. Please be kind. Oh and the cars are all real and they are real hot. Check them out. I haven't really figured out how to have line breaks and stuff like that so bear with me. It'll take me a bit of time to get it. I don't really know how to get a beta, so can someone help me out that? I wanted to get the flashbacks over with. They aren't that detailed, cause they are memories. Lots of new stuff in this chapter. Bella's had a major attitude change, Ness can make someone appear human, Masen can heal. We don't know what happened to Victoria and Bella is rich.

I'll post the next chapter next week Monday.

Lot's of love to ya'll,

XOXO