A/N: This is a short oneshot I wrote in half an hour at 11:00 at night. It's basically Hiei monologing to himself as if he were speaking to Kurama, if that makes any sense. Like the title says, it's a true story, if only in the story sense of the phrase. I used the YuYu characters in place of the real people. So... Feh. Kind of a tearjerker.
I went to Botan to answer my questions. I couldn't ask you, Kurama, they were about you, Koenma didn't seem right, Yusuke would have told, and there was no WAY I was going to Kuwabara for help. So I went to Botan.
I told her about my dream of you—how it went. It happened something like this…
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I was sitting of the floor in your room doing something or other, I can't remember, when I suddenly decided that I couldn't take the situation the way it was anymore. I looked up at you in your chair at the computer desk and called out your name.
"Kurama..?"
You answered back, "Yes, Hiei?" I couldn't look you in the eyes. So I told you as I looked down at the floor.
I was utterly terrified of what you could say; the many ways you could break me. I balled my fists, hoping to whatever that you wouldn't. "I… I l-love you!" I said it quietly, but I guess my fear had gotten a hold of me, because as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I started to cry, knowing that you would tear me down with your words. You had done so before, when you told me you just weren't interested in men. I let the tears fall from my face, also knowing that when the rejection came, I would just go and not come back.
I looked up at you, ashamed that I was crying, until I saw that you were crying too. I felt like a monster for making you cry, and moved to stand up when you spoke, just barely a whisper, and only audible at all over your choking because I have good ears.
"I love you too."
It was like my world came crashing down, and the only things left were us. I felt like I was made of lead and water at the same time, and you dropped from your seat to sit beside me. I basically broke down then, unable to believe this was happening. You put your arms around me and we cried together, two of the most powerful demons in the Makai.
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I never woke up feeling so sad.
The next night, I went to Botan to ask her a few questions. I told her about my dream of you, and she looked almost sad to hear it.
"What does this mean?" I asked her.
"It means you're in love with him, Hiei," she answered.
"I don't want to be in love!" I exclaimed. "It makes you need that person! I don't want to need anybody!"
"That's not necessarily true…"
"It makes you vulnerable to that person! I do not want to be vulnerable!!"
"…I know," she sighed. "But that's what love is, you know? It's trusting someone to not break you when you're at your most vulnerable. And that's really what everyone wants, I think. To be able to trust someone that much and be completely exposed for the one other person."
"Every time anything related to love or closeness at all shows up, I feel trapped and get an urge to run away," I muttered.
She put a hand on my shoulder. "That's okay. There's nothing to be nervous about. But if it makes you uncomfortable or if you think that it's going to be bad for you, you probably shouldn't do it," she suggested. It was odd, seeing her like this. Usually, she was so ditzy and did stupid things, but tonight she was serious, talking to me about this. I guess she could tell I needed help. Feh. I hate needing help.
"Right," I said quietly. This had kind of helped, a little. I guess I should have thanked her before I left, but I didn't. I think she got the message, though.
Hiei sat in the tree outside Kurama's window, his love fast asleep. He turned from the sight of the slumbering fox with unshed tears in his eyes. He refused to cry.
'And I don't think I'll ever tell you,' he thought, before flitting away into the night.
-END-