Summary: Never underestimate the power of grief. After the fall of Utopia and the loss of Kyle, something doesn't seem quite right with Paige. Kyle/Paige moments aplenty, memories, flashbacks and…you'll just have to see…spoilers S.7!

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, I'm just borrowing. No money being made etc, etc…Also some dialogue borrowed from episode:7.07, that funnily enough, doesn't belong to me either…just wanted to add my own little spin.

Authors Note: Well, on this rainy English side of the pond, we're only just getting season 7 of Charmed! Shocking, I hear you all say. So this is my take on the Paige/Kyle dynamic that I've liked sooo much. Hope you all enjoy…

P.S This is my first fanfic, so any feedback or advice would be amazing…even if its to beg me to stop writing…hehe!

Title: Impossible Goodbyes

Chapter 1

The soft light of a single candle cast a hazy beam through the shadows of the dark attic. Silhouetted by the faint glow a solitary figure sat flipping methodically through the Book of Shadows. Absorbed by the large book in front of her, Paige was oblivious to the fact that it had been many hours since the San Francisco sunset had been swallowed by the blackness of the night. Scrunched cross-legged over the heavy book, she squinted through the faint light, adding notes to a pad already covered in copious scribbles.

"Hey there" A soft voice came from the doorway, suddenly distracting Paige from the text.

"Hey" She replied, smiling at her oldest sister who was stood in the doorway. She hadn't heard Piper come in from the club and it suddenly occurred to her how late it actually was, not that sleep had greeted her recently – or so it seemed anyway, she hadn't slept properly since that night – the night that the Avatars had implemented Utopia.

"What-cha doing? It's pretty late" Piper said, mentallyreflecting on her own busy night, unable to stifle a heavy yawn.

"Can't sleep…Think I was a little bit too caffeine-happy this afternoon, y'know. I didn't think that anyone would still be awake"

"Well just as I go to get into bed, your little nephew decided that he was hungry" She moaned, but unable to keep the smile out of her eyes as she talked about baby Chris. The thought had temporarily dissolved Piper's worry at finding Paige alone in the attic so late at night; however that thought immediately sprung back into her mind as quickly as it had left.

"Well, give my gorgeous nephews a big kiss from their Auntie Paige."Paigereplied turning back towards her book, once more poising her pen towards the notepaper with her brows furrowed in renewed concentration.

She stood for a moment in silence, watching her sister resume whatever it was she was intently researching. Piper was perturbed by her sister's demeanour. The events of the last few days had shaken them all up, the dreams of a demon free existence shattered as the true consequences of the Avatars became apparent, and along with the loss of someone else they had come to trust. Her little sister had barely uttered a word about it, and she found this strange, her sisterly instincts suspected that, because of the fiercely caring person that Paige was, she had had strong feelings for Kyle. Even for Paige, as one of the strongest people Piper knew all to well the feelings of love and loss, with Paige there had been no mention of love or loss, no reaction, nothing. And it rattled her.

"Is everything okay with you sweetie?" She asked tentatively. Moving to sit closely beside her baby sister, she grasped some glossy raven hair that had gone rebelliously astray, curling it affectionately around Paige's ears, and finally, clutching her sister's soft palm in her own.

"Sure, yeah – I mean – my research is going pretty well…" She patted the magical book in praise "…categorising the demons into groups according to their powers, weaknesses and stuff. Anyway, it means we should be able to make some generic vanquishing potions, that way we can bottle up big batches and have potions-to-go, and whichever one of these demons wants to attack next can duly get their ass kicked!"

"No…Paige…" Piper began patiently. "…I mean, is everything okay with…you?"

"I'm fine!" Paige smiled sweetly. It would have been more convincing if dark rings of tiredness weren't orbiting her sister's eyes. And there was something else; her chocolate eyes were devoid of their usual sparkle and the playful glint that Piper had come to love so much. Piper knew that something wasn't right. She also knew that Paige wouldn't tell until she was ready and being even more stubborn than the average Halliwell, Piper was sure that she would have given Prue a run for her money; she figured that she didn't have much chance of getting her baby sister to tell her anything. Sighed resignedly, she looked towards her sister, "Okay, you dirty stop-up, I'm going to bed…" she said, standing up with reluctance, as worry still occupied her tired mind.

"Alright Sis…Goodnight" Paige replied, still engrossed in her work.

Piper ran her fingers through the soft waves of her sister's hair, before placing a kiss into the dark mop. "Night Paigey" She yawned, turning to leave, feet padding across the floor.

"Paige, honey, promise me that you will try and get some sleep"

"Will do, Sis"

"Paige" Piper said, in her 'big-sister' voice. Along with the narrowed eyes, Paige knew that this meant business and surrendered into compliance.

"'Kay, I'll go to bed when I finish up on this demon - promise"

After Piper had left the attic, tiredness coursed thorough Paige that seemed to flow into her every limb. The words in the book swam in front of her eyes as if on a particularly rough sea. As her eyes became heavy lidded the letters blurred into a pool of ink before disappearing completely into blankness.

"Feel better?" A faraway voice reverberated through the air, getting nearer, stronger with every syllable.

It was a familiar voice. So familiar, but it couldn't be?

She felt him reach around her, warm breath in her hair, his arm grazing her shoulder sending tingles right down to her fingers, his scent intoxicating. As he flicked through the pages of the book, it was as if she was looking in to his blue eyes for the first time, her wavering trust gained a concrete foundation, and from this moment she knew it would be inextinguishable.

"What do you mean?" she felt herself saying. His eyes searched hers, and she found herself floundering under such intense attention. A wry smile appeared at his lips, he was reading her. She hated that. And what she hated even more was that a small part of her liked it, a small part of her that was reassured by his presence, a part that craved security, constancy and love.

"I assume the book won't let anything evil touch it. Most magical tomes don't. What do I have to do to prove I'm not a threat to you?" Kyle said running his hands anxiously through his dark hair.

"Look, I'm sorry, I am. I can't seem to trust myself right now, let alone anybody else." She replied, feeling slightly guilty that she had had such suspicions. Being charmed, she and her sisters always had to be careful, but Paige was always on her guard – with anyone. It was a legacy of her tumultuous past, and a future that forever seemed to be in peril.

"Well, guardians did more than keep you upright. They're your inner voice, your conscience, instincts. Without them you tend to get a little lost."

"You really do believe in them, don't you?" Kyle's blue eyes were clear windows into his very soul, and Paige could see the passion, the determination inside of them. "Yeah, I'm a believer, all right. Hunting the new power for years has made me realise that there are some awful things in this world…" He continued sadly. And flicking through the book of shadows, he could see that all the nameless evil had faces, and they were here, all laid bare for him to see.

I just like to think there are some good things too to balance it out. Like you." Kyle tore his eyes away from the book, locking eyes with Paige. Her smile reached widely across to each cheek, her chocolate eyes absorbing the warmth from his. She wanted to break the distance between them, to touch him. Instead, they basked in each others presence, in mutual understanding, equal attraction and as they both unknowingly hoped: a blossoming love.

The eternity lasted only a second, as the book caught her attention, "You've found it."

Unhappy reality reacquainted itself with Paige as her eyes flickered open. Awakening not only with a burning emptiness in her chest, she found her cheek stuck to a page of the Book of Shadows. Glad that she hadn't dribbled on the family heirloom, she sleepily made her way to her real bed. Inwardly hoping that sleep would greet her once more, hoping that it would give her another precious glimpse…

…of him.