This story is loosely based on a (somewhat) similar dream that I had too long ago. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy
Ulterior Reality
"What do you think death is like?"
Amidst all of the confusion, all the disorder and disarray, Ike managed to stare her in eyes. "I already know what death is like. I know what it is like because I already died, long ago."
The ship and all of its crew were going under. They had ventured too closely into a shallow coral reef bed and the hull had taken severe damage and now it was only a matter of minutes until they were completely engulfed by water. There was no land in sight in any direction. There was nothing that could be done.
All around Ike, everyone he knew and loved had slowly resigned to the fact that all hope was lost. Boyd sat nearby as Mist cried into his shoulder. Oscar did everything that he could to soothe a disheartened and distressed Rolf. Mia, ironically enough, was one of the more calm warriors on the boat as she sat depressed in a corner. Shinon and Gatrie were sharing a drink, one final swig of rum. Ranulf, Mordecai, and Titania sat together and were murmuring to each quietly to each other. Soren was pacing slowly, depicting an unease that was uncommonly seen in the young mage.
"How?"
Ike turned his attention away from everything else and directed it back at her. She was staring at him intently as they sat together on the deck of the slowly-sinking ship.
Ike took a moment to look deep into her dark purple eyes. "Because of you." He said quietly. He then reached out to take her hand in his own without breaking eye contact. "Because I could never forgive myself for what happened. Because I could not live without you."
A small tear began to well up in one of Lethe's eyes. She gave Ike's hand a tiny squeeze and said passionately, "Ike, there is nothing to forgive. What happened would have happened anyway, there was nothing that you could do. It's hurts me when you tear yourself apart like this."
"I can't help it Lethe." Ike whispered as he too felt his eyes growing watery. "I couldn't save you, and not a day passes by that I don't wish that I had."
Lethe stared at him compassionately and Ike moved closer and held her as tightly as he could, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. The seawater had made it to the deck of the ship now, and it was rapidly consuming them.
Just before their heads went under, Ike whispered quietly in her ear, "Letting you go was the greatest regret of my life."
Death came peaceably, welcomed Ike as an old friend. There was no need to exchange pleasantries for they had already met, and the hooded creature escorted Ike, as he had already done once before, down the path into the afterlife.
And then everything went black.
Ike awoke from his slumber with a start; it was if somebody had emptied a pail of water over his head. His head was covered with sweat and he couldn't get his hands or feet to stop trembling. Everything just seemed so distant to him, and faded into and out of focus.
Slowly, he stumbled with great difficulty out of his bed in the Greil Mercenaries' fort. He soon found that his balance was also impaired and something as simple as walking was a tough task at present time. A nice splash of water over his face seemed like a good choice of action for him. Using the walls as a balance and guide, Ike staggered out of his room and through the halls of the fort. It had to have been in the very early hours of the morning, for there was very little light and all was silent.
After what seemed to be a long journey, Ike finally found himself in the kitchen where he could find some fresh water. By now he had started to regain some control and balance, and did not have to rely on the wall quite so much. Under the faint mid-dawn light, he was able to find the tap of water.
The water was a rejuvenation of sorts for Ike as he splashed it on his face. It was almost like magic; as soon as the cold water hit his skin, it was as if he had finally woken up. With a sigh of relief found a nearby chair and sat down to give his body a much-needed rest.
"Just a dream…" Ike muttered quietly as the water slowly receded down his face. "All just a dream…"
"Ike? What are you doing up already?"
Ike's eyes snapped open. He had thought that he would be the only one awake at this hour but it looked as though he was wrong. Ike, his mind still slightly fuzzy, couldn't make out who it was standing before him and could only retort, "What are you doing up so early?"
Mist took a few steps closer so Ike could see her better. She was still wearing her nightgown and her hair was slightly on edge. She was always one of the lightest sleepers of the mercenaries, and Ike had made quite a bit of noise, so it really came as no surprise that she had woken up, now that he got a better chance to think about it.
"My god, Ike." Mist said lightly as she got a good look at him. "You're as pale as a ghost. What happened?"
"Nothing." Ike replied evasively. "Couldn't sleep is all."
Mist walked over and grabbed a washcloth and dampened it in water. She put it down on Ike's forehead and said while doing so, "Now I know it is more than that."
"No, that's it." Ike said emphatically. "Just had a bad dream. All over now."
Mist frowned. She paused for a moment and looked ready to retort but she was interrupted by the entrance of two more entrants into the suddenly-crowded kitchen.
"Whoa." Boyd exclaimed as he and Oscar walked in and noticed that they were not the only ones up. "What are you guys doing up? I never would have imagined that anybody else would be up at this time!"
"Believe it or not, there are people out there that get up when the light comes out." Mist replied with a sarcastic grin. "Instead of sleeping in until it's almost gone."
"Yeah I suppose." Boyd replied with a laugh. He was often regarded as the heaviest sleeper of the mercenaries, and it was commonplace for him to sleep in until past lunchtime.
"The real question is, what are you doing up this early?" Ike asked warily.
"Us?" Oscar replied. "We were about to go hit the lake for a little fishing. Best time for it is early-morning, as they say."
"You know…a little brother-time." Boyd replied with a grin while playfully wrapping one of his arms around Oscar's shoulders. Oscar fretfully nudged Boyd's arm off and Boyd simply laughed.
"Yeah, anyway…" Oscar said quietly after taking a step away from his younger brother. "We were just looking for something to do that was, you know…relaxing. And fishing seemed like the best activity to take a break from the grind around here and clear the mind."
"And you were just going to leave without telling anyone?" Mist said a bit harshly.
"Well, we told Titania yesterday." Boyd replied sheepishly. "It was kind of a spur-of –the-moment type of thing; we didn't know ourselves that we were going to do this until late last night. Titania was the only one still up, so we told her and assumed she would tell everyone else sometime today. But we didn't think that anyone else would be up when we left…"
Mist sighed. "Well, have fun." She said in closing.
"Thanks." Oscar said lightly. "You know, either of you two are welcome to come along as well, if you want."
"No, I can't, I have a lot to do today." Mist replied immediately. "Thanks though."
"Yeah, no problem." Boyd replied, and then turned to Ike. "Ike?"
"You know, I could use something to clear my head." Ike replied as he got to his feet. His balance and everything else had returned after his initial shock from waking up after that dream, but he still could not stop thinking about it. "I'll come even though I know nothing about fishing."
Boyd's face instantly lit up and he thumped Ike lightly on the back. "And you think that we do? I've never fished ever in my entire life! It isn't anything but a good time!"
Ike smirked as he followed Boyd and Oscar out of the fort. Right before he left into the outdoors, Ike turned around and looked back at Mist. She was looking at him with concern, and then she gave him a simple shrug that Ike took to clearly mean that this wasn't over, and then she left back down the hallway toward her room.
The fishing trip did not turn out to be the break that Ike had intended it to be. In fact, the amount of time he spent doing nothing but sitting and waiting for a bite only allowed him more time to think on his endeavor of the previous night.
It had all started out alright. Ike, Boyd and Oscar walked together down the path that leads to the nearby lake. By the time they had reached it, the sun was just beginning to rise over the horizon and the lake's water had turned a glittering gold in the sunrise. There was a nearby rental business, from which they borrowed a rowboat, three fishing poles and bought some worms to use as bait.
And with that, they were on the water and fishing. They first sat silent in an exaggerated sense of anticipation, as they waited for the fish to come. But it did not take long for them to lose confidence, as none of them had managed to catch any fish at all.
"This isn't anything like I expected it to be." Boyd said dejectedly as he gave his pole a slight flick, to no avail. Oscar had already forfeited the rights of his pole to Boyd so that he could take a nap, and his soft snores were the only noises in an otherwise-peaceful morning.
Ike merely nodded distractedly and looked deep into the depths of the lake. The more and more he thought about it, he couldn't call his dream last night a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare because everything his dream-self had said was true, and everything the dream-Lethe had done was what Ike wanted.
It was about five months ago, now. Five months since the real Lethe passed on from this world. She had given up everything to fight against Ashnard, and in the end, she gave up her life as well. It was a spear which had gone awry that did it. Ike and the Daein King were locked into a final battle, and Ashnard, sensing defeat, threw his spear in a last-ditch effort to kill the Hero of Tellius, but it would not reach its target. Lethe sensed the desperation move well before it came. Whereas the Hero had been caught off-guard, Lethe had already sprung into action.
Ashnard died when he released the spear, but the Hero would have died as well if not for the heroic act of someone else. Ike got shoved to the ground at that instant, and he, for one wild second, thought that it was an enemy which had gotten through their lines.
But when he flailed around to look for the source, he saw a sight much more horrific. It was Lethe, keeled over on her knees and a spear pierced through her chest.
Ike remembered how hard he tried to save her, how much he worked to stem the blood flow and dislodge the spear. But in the end, it was not enough, not even Mist's strongest heal staff could not heal wounds of that magnitude. She passed away within the minute.
"Whoa, Ike, I got something!" Boyd said with a roar.
Ike snapped back to reality with a start as Boyd continued to yell excitedly. Oscar had woken up due to the noise, and was now laughing and urging his brother to reel it in.
Ike tried half-heartedly to seem as excited as the other two, but he found that very hard to do with everything else on his mind. Nevertheless, Boyd did manage to reel in the fish, which turned out to be a catfish, about a foot long.
Oscar congratulated Boyd with a brotherly tease as he said, "Good catch, Boyd! A catfish, I've never seen one of those before!"
"Shut up, Oscar." Boyd said, unshaken. "I don't see any fish on your line. Get a catch first; then maybe we can talk."
As the two brothers took turns taking jabs at one another, Ike slowly receded back into his dream-like state. It was as if the world around him had become shallow; a shell of what it used to be. He couldn't get that damn dream out of his head, and everything else had lost purpose.
"Good thing we have other sources of food because if we had to rely on your fishing, we'd all starve." Oscar countered.
It wasn't as if he hadn't thought about her before. Nearly every day that passed, Lethe popped into his head at some point. She saved his life, how could he not respect her sacrifice by thinking of her constantly? But this was different.
"There is probably only catfish in this damn pond anyway, how am I supposed to do any better?" Boyd retaliated.
Never before had it been so real. It was as if she were alive again, not a mere memory. And he had got the chance to utter the words that his entire being yearned to tell her since the day that she passed on.
"Alright fine, sorry." Oscar said with a smirk. "Next time we go fishing, we'll bring a giant net. That way, maybe you'll catch more than one measly catfish. Maybe you'll catch five!"
Losing her was his greatest regret.
"Alright, that's it. We're leaving." Boyd commanded, mildly irritated.
"Aye-aye, capt!" Oscar said with a laugh.
"Shut up, Oscar." Boyd muttered as he began to row swiftly to shore. Ike, coming to his senses, picked up an ore and began to help row, but Oscar simply laid back and poked more fun at Boyd.
The journey back was not quite as pleasant as it was earlier. Boyd had become nothing short of irritable because of Oscar's teasings, and the group walked back to fort in near silence as a result. And that just meant more time to think. Boyd had tossed his catch back into the lake, for even he knew that it wouldn't be able to feed one hungry man, let alone everyone at the fort. They returned their poles and the rowboat back to the small shack and paid their fees, and then began their walk of defeat back to the fort empty-handed.
It was nearly noon by the time they had made it back. The sun normally would be shining brightly overhead, but a lone, overcast cloud was shielding some of its light. The wind tussled up the leaves on the trees on an otherwise peaceful day. Today was an off-day for the mercenaries, so there was not much activity going on around the fort. There was not a soul to be found outside of the fort's walls; everyone must be inside making the most of one of their few days off.
As they approached the fort's entrance, Ike could begin to smell lunch as it was roasted from somewhere inside. They had decided to not rely on his, Boyd's and Oscar's fishing abilities after all and had a back-up planned, Ike thought inwardly with a smirk. For good reason too.
Their less-than-triumphant return went without much of a commotion from the residents within. Mist was standing over the charcoal fire and preparing the lunch, and simply welcomed them back without any question. A few of the mercenaries, including Rolf, Soren, Gatrie and Shinon, were lounging at the large kitchen table.
"Full house." Gatrie said with an obvious smirk as he laid down his hand of three five's and two nine's and took a swig of rum with the other. He and Shinon were locked into an engaging game of cards when Ike had returned, and they were so into it that they almost failed to notice the return of their commander. Rolf sat and watched intently and Soren pretended to.
If Gatrie's smirk was big, it was nothing compared to Shinon's. "Four of a kind." He said confidently while showing his hand to a disbelieving Gatrie. "Pay up."
Gatrie hesitated for a moment as if debating whether to make a break for it, but in the end, he begrudgingly reached into his pocket and pulled out five gold coins and slammed them rather vehemently onto the wooden table.
"Thank you, kind sir." Shinon stated flatly as he pocketed the coins. "How about you young Commander, would you like to be my next victim?"
"Nope." Ike replied as he and the others stepped into the kitchen. "You know I don't gamble, Shinon."
"Hmph, suit yourself." Shinon retorted. "Want a chance to win your money back, Gatrie?"
Gatrie gave Shinon a swift reply but Ike didn't get a chance to hear him. Soren had risen from his spot and walked over to where Ike stood. "Come here Ike, there are some things we need to go over."
Ike let himself be led down the hallway towards the commander chamber while Oscar and Boyd trekked down the opposite hallway, presumably returning to their rooms to take a much-needed rest. The command chamber served as Ike's office of sorts; all paperwork and financial reserves found their way into this room somewhere. Although, this room had become more of a novelty anymore; with the mercenaries being nowhere near as active now, Ike spent much less time in this room than Greil had.
"…and our reserves are beginning to run low, we will need to start looking for work again soon…" Soren was saying as they entered the room. "…and you didn't hear a word I just said, did you?"
In truth, Ike had not, nor could he even recall Soren even talking. "What? Oh, sorry Soren. Look, can we do this some other time? I'm really out of it right now."
"You look it." Soren replied sharply. "But this has to be said. I'm sorry, I'll make it as quick as possible but I need you to listen to this."
"Alright, alright." Ike said with a sigh. "Could you repeat it?"
Soren gave a slight sigh of his own. "We need to start finding employers again. I would estimate that we have enough gold in the reserve to last us about two months, and we are definitely spending more than we are reeling in. There is a nearby town that offered us a job delivering some heavy supplies, which I think we should consider. He is offering top gold, which would more than offset the long amount of time that task would take to complete."
Ike did his best to stifle a yawn out of respect for his skilled tactician, but he was so tired that he was unable. "Anything else?" Ike asked quietly.
"Yeah, Shinon and Gatrie are taking next week off. It'll be a light week anyway, but still, we'll need to get by without them."
"So, this is what you had to tell me?" Ike replied. "This is what was so important that it couldn't wait until later?"
"Well, no, there's more, this is the boring stuff." Soren retorted. "But let's face it, if I told you the important stuff first, would you have stuck around to hear the boring stuff?"
"Probably not, no." Ike said with a slight grin.
Soren frowned. "Yeah, that's what I thought."
"Yeah well, what exactly is this important piece of information that you have for me?"
Soren paused for a moment. "Mia is leaving."
"What?" Ike exclaimed, not even bothering to attempt to conceal his surprise. "Why? What happened? Did she quit?"
"Yeah." Soren replied slowly. "This morning. She came to me and asked for you, but when I told her you weren't here, she decided to tell me. She didn't seem like herself…she acted very uncertain. She is still here, I think you should go talk to her. I worry that something may have happened."
"Compassion?" Ike said with a small smirk. "From Soren? Now I've seen everything!"
Soren frowned. "Shut up and just do what I say."
"Does anyone else know?" Ike asked.
"Nope." Soren replied. "At least as far as I know. Mia came to talk to me in private, and I haven't said a word about it to anyone else. So unless she has told anyone else, which I doubt, then we are the only two who know, apart from Mia herself."
Ike nodded. Slowly, the realization of what might occur began to overcome Ike. It seemed like ages ago that she joined the mercenaries, and she had grown close on every one of the mercenaries since. Her resolve, her determination to always get better could get on her sparring partner's nerves at times, but her charming, friendly personality more than made up for that.
"Alright." Ike replied with a nod. "I'll go talk to her…see what's up."
"Good." Soren said. "Do so quickly. I don't how long she will stay."
Ike felt a shiver down his spine at the thought of Mia gone without getting the chance to say goodbye. He nodded firmly, grimly, and then turned his back on the young mage. Down the hallway, the others were still in much the same positions that they were before; everyone was seated at the table while Mist began to serve lunch.
"Want a sandwich, Ike?" Ike heard Mist say as he passed.
"Not now." He replied without so much as turning to look at her. He knew that she would have a few questions for him about his peculiar behavior, but he never gave her a chance to ask; they would have to wait. Down the opposite hallway Ike walked, the hallway where all of the bedrooms were located. He followed that hallway all the way to the end, to the last door on the right where Mia's room was located.
Taking a deep breath, Ike gave the door a tentative knock and said softly, "Mia? It's Ike, can I come in?"
After a short reply, a voice from inside replied, "Yes."
Ike reached out, grabbed the door handle and gave the door a slight push. The door yielded without much effort, revealing the mess of a room beyond. Mia was seated on her bed, and she was clearly in the process of packing. The room itself looked as if it had been tossed around upside-down a few times. Clothes, combat equipment and other possessions were littered across the room in a sporadic clutter.
Ike stepped into the room, taking care not to step on anything, and slowly shut the door behind him. When he turned back to face Mia, he found her staring back at him with a strange glimmer in her puffy, bloodshot eyes.
"You won't stop me from leaving." She said in a rather hoarse voice.
"Nor will I try to." Ike replied shrewdly. He made his way carefully over to her bed and took a seat next to her.
"Good." She said smartly. "Because you couldn't if you tried."
Ike laughed. "Is that a challenge?"
"Definitely." She replied with a grin.
Ike began to laugh again and Mia joined in for a brief moment. They had shared many moments like this, back on their adventure through Tellius. She was so competitive, so confident; any challenge presented to her, no matter how ridiculous, was fair game. And Ike had learned long ago to adapt to that ideology for he could not keep up with her if he did not.
When the laughter had died down, Ike sighed and said, "You know, Mia…we'll miss you." He paused. "I know I will."
The room seemed eerily quiet as he waited for her to give an answer. She was looking down at her feet, apparently deep in thought. This decision must be very difficult on her, that much was certain. She slowly lifted her head and looked at him again. "I'll miss you too…Boss."
Ike grinned and could feel his own eyes become a bit more moist. What are you supposed to say to a friend when it could be the last time you ever see her?
"If you don't mind me asking," Ike said with a slight sniffle. "Why is it you are leaving?"
"I…" Mia hesitated. "I don't much feel like talking about it."
"Oh, come on, Mia; you know you can tell me anything." Ike said quickly. "Is it the work? I suppose it does get very repetitive. Is it the wages? We are pretty tight on finances right now, but I am sure we can find some gold to give you raise, if that is what you are after."
"No, no." Mia said quietly, her voice becoming rougher by the word. "No, it isn't anything like that."
Ike looked at her compassionately as she slowly began to break down. She was slouched over with her head in her hands, and all Ike could see of her face was her nose with a small tear rolling down it. "Is it one of the mercenaries; did somebody do something to you?" He paused. "Is it me?"
"No." She replied, her voice on the verge of uncontrollable now.
"What then?" He said softly.
Ike waited patiently for an answer, but after a few moments without a reply from Mia, he was beginning to doubt that he would get one. But when he was about to open his mouth again, he heard her say, "Rhys."
Rhys. Such a simple answer, yet so complex. And now Ike was beginning to understand her struggle.
Rhys' fate had already been met. The cruel whims of the goddesses had already reclaimed the life of the young healer. His last moments were spent in the decrypted dungeons of Daein's capitol, fighting to save Crimea from the evil plans of King Ashnard. His sacrifice was just one of many that were needed so that the rest of the survivors may live their lives without Ashnard breathing down their necks. He was a hero in every sense of the word.
One little-known fact, though, was that he and Mia had become quite close in the preceding months leading up to his ultimate demise. Everyone else claimed that they were simply very close friends, but Ike thought that there was more to it than that.
That is, he thought that way up until Rhys' death. After his death, Ike had confronted Mia on a number of occasions, but she always insisted that she was alright, that she had just lost a close friend and nothing more. So Ike took her word for it, but it would seem that she had simply fooled him. She managed to fool everyone but herself.
Fearing that he already knew the answer, Ike asked slowly, "What about Rhys?"
Mia had been reduced to a fit of sobs, and it took a few minutes for her to regain enough composure to answer the question. "I…you were right."
Ike nodded, his suspicions confirmed. "You loved him?"
Mia did not answer, and Ike took that to mean 'yes.' She had recovered most of her composure by now, but she was still talking to her feet when she said, "This is my home here…but that's the problem. It's his home, too. I…I can't stop thinking about him. Everything in this damn fort reminds me of him. I…I need to leave."
Ike nodded slowly and directed his attention down to his own feet. An all-too similar story…
He was about to share his similar experiences but Mia had started talking again. "I had a dream a couple of days ago." She said quietly. "A vivid dream, life in that dream was more real than life right now, or so it seemed. And I saw…him. He was just standing there, looking back at me. But every time I tried to reach out to him, he backed away. I tried as hard as I could, I chased after him time after time, but I never did reach him. After I finally gave up, he stopped moving and continued to just look at me. I tried to talk to him but it was as if he could not hear a word I said."
She paused. "But then, he did speak. He spoke the words that I feared he would."
"What did he say?"
"He told me…" She replied hesitantly. "He told me to move on. He told me that it was for me that he died."
The similarities between the dreams were simply unnerving to Ike. It was almost as if she had experienced the same dream as him, except the setting was different and the roles were somewhat swapped. The death of a loved one somehow connected in their dreams.
"I…" Ike said with a gasp after a moment. "I don't know what to say. I never thought that I would ever truly understand, never thought that it was even possible to understand. Because I have been going through a very similar struggle with…with…"
"Lethe?"
"Yeah." Ike replied heavily. "I've been telling myself that losing her was the greatest regret of my life, that I can't live without her." Ike paused to look at Mia, and her face clearly showed that she felt the same way for Rhys. "But I haven't been looking at the entire picture. She committed the ultimate act of self-sacrifice, and she did it for me. And not everyone gets to experience genuine love to that extent. Our time together may not have been as long as I would have liked it, but her love will certainly be with me forever because it is through her love that I am even alive right now."
Mia slowly started nodding after a few moments of deep thought. "Yeah…" She said shakily. "Yeah, I suppose. But I still can't even begin to imagine a life without him."
"But it's still a life, right?" Ike said immediately. The words were simply flowing out of his lips now; it was as though he was being possessed by something higher. No thought was required, no hesitation. Somehow, he knew exactly what to say even though the questions he was answering were the exact same ones he had been struggling with since Lethe left him. "He willingly gave himself up for you; he'd want you to make the most of the life he gave you."
Mia finally lifted her head and looked deeply into Ike's eyes. The words had changed her, that much was sure. She looked more confident in herself, more fulfilled. "I think…" She said, slightly hesitantly. "I think I will stay."
"You'll stay?" Ike exclaimed, drawing a small smile. "That's great news! I don't know where we would have been without you, Mia, truthfully. Words just can't describe how much you mean to us."
She returned the smile. "And I don't know where I would be without you." She replied quietly. "Thanks for understanding."
"Of course." Ike said in return. "Thanks for listening."
Mia closed her eyes and her face began to inch closer and closer to his, and Ike began to fear what would happen next. But Lethe then showed up in the back of his mind, and she was urging him on herself, and somehow Ike knew everything was alright. So Ike moved closer to Mia as well, and when their lips met, the only thought on his mind was the beautiful girl right in front of him.