Disclaimer; I don't own Naruto.
Chapter 1 ; The beginning of the end
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Sasuke had been minding his own business when a perky blonde going by the name Ino decided to attach herself to his arm, Sasuke was not amused.
"You know normal people tend to leave me alone after I tell them to fuck off, oh what has it been 50 times now ?" Asked Sasuke attempting to reclaim his arm.
"I've decided to have your babies." The girl continued to blab on.
"Honestly, it's like you and Naruto are proving Blonde jokes, I'd say I was gay but the fan-boys are bad enough as it is." That's when Sasuke felt a weird probing in his mind and Ino collapsed.
'Well this can't be good.' Thought Sasuke as his body began to move on its own.
"Mhahaha Sasu-kins sweetie I never said you had a choice in the matter." Announced Ino from Sasuke's mouth.
Ino proceeded to carry her own body into an alleyway using Sasuke's body.
The whole ordeal was rather weird since Ino had to actually figure out how to do the man's part. As she finished she pulled out of Sasuke's mind and cuddled herself up to the now wide eyed Uchiha.
"Up !" and with that Sasuke pulled Ino to her feet and proceeded to drag the still naked mind possessor into the street, ignorant of his own state of undress.
As they walked through the streets Ino cuddled up to her man with her eyes closed, she assumed the ever noble Uchiha was searching for a priest to marry her as quickly as possible. She was however confused when Sasuke pulled her into a shop, maybe he was getting the rings first.
That thought however was pushed out of her mind when Sasuke pushed a container to her lips pouring as many pills as possible into her mouth and commanded her to swallow. After about seven bottles he seemed satisfied.
"Sasu, what where those ?" asked Ino.
"Birth control pills." Stated the Uchiha incredibly smugly as he walked naked out of the shop ignoring the wide eye stares he received.
"Stupid blonde bimbo thinks she ca-" everything went black as Sasuke felt a sharp pain at the back of his head.
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Sasuke awoke to a room with a pink ceiling, and pink walls too and most importantly tied to a pink bed, still naked.
"Well this isn't good." Said Sasuke to no one in particular.
"Hello mister Uchiha !" and there Sakura, wearing a leather vest, and is that a whip, and oh God a strap on.
"Itachi, why didn't you kill me too ?" said Sasuke his mind slipping into it's danger zone as he began to try to bite his tongue off. Sakura merely wandered over and healed his tongue.
"Now, now mister Uchiha you'll be needing that to scream and beg for mercy." She stated patting him on the head, however she wasn't expecting him to poof and turn into snakes. Turning she spotted Sasuke creeping towards her bedroom door.
"Cleaver mister Uchiha but your not going anywhere." Sakura probably expected Sasuke to cower like Naruto usually did in this situation, but this was Sasuke fucking Uchiha, he had a lapse of sanity instead.
"Hahaha, bwahaha !" The Uchiha's Sharingan bleed into view, his cursed seal spread over his body and the wailing sound of Chidori accompanied Sasuke's insane chuckling.
Sakura fainted, but it wasn't from fear it was from blood loss, she thought Sasuke using Chidori naked in the seals initial release was really hot.
Noticing this Sasuke legged it.
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Running into a clearing in the woods Sasuke spotted Neji Hyuga in bondage pants leaning against a tree catching his breath.
"..You.." Sasuke managed to cough out leaning against a nearby tree.
"….Tenten….bondage fetish…" said the prodigy between panting.
"…Ino…mind control….Sakura…..dominatrix…" panted Sasuke as the older prodigy stopped panting.
"Okay, you win." Said the Hyuga sitting on a rock.
"How long do you think Garaa will be ? I want to talk to you two about something." Just as he finished Garaa burst into the clearing.
"…My gourd…..ruined.." panted Garaa showing them the Gourd which had countless SasuGara, NejiGara and LeeGara written on it as well as some illustrations.
"I let it out of sight for a second and this happens, and why am I always uke ?" ranted Garaa.
"Maybe it's cause your so gosh-darn cute." Teased Neji, quickly shut up by Garaa's hand.
"Ssh Are you mad, they'll hear that and be encouraged." Whispered Garaa.
"Well, if you love birds are through, I've got an idea that could stop all this F.A.N problem." Said Sasuke awaiting praise and excitement.
"I hope its better than your idea for us to pretend to be lovers, remember the increase in stalkers and spycams, or the fanart painted on buildings, or the porn movie and subsequent video game, remember the 'make Neji moan' toys or-" Neji was cut off there.
"Yes I remember, but this plan is fool proof, we start a club, you know of people like us." Stated Sasuke proudly.
"How will that help us ?" asked Garaa.
"At the very least, cannon fodder."
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I'll be taking requests for club members, they just have to be cool and have those kind of problems, you know pairings that wouldn't happen or fangirls, I figure I'll add in some bleach characters and some other anime characters, everyone please review.
R&R