What about Us?

Set around the events of Undiscovered Country.

Chapter One

What about us?

What about all the times you said you had the answers?

What about us?

What about all the broken happy ever afters?

What about us?

What about all the plans that ended in disaster?

What about love? What about trust?

What about us?

Pink

Rafael poured himself another glass of scotch as he stared out the window. How many nights had he spent waiting for a verdict? More than he could count, but no wait was like the wait he was in tonight. Never before had his future depended on what a jury would find. Peter Stone had done his job well, getting him to admit that he felt guilty. It was exactly what he would have done if he had been prosecuting. He had kept his eyes fixed on Liv during his testimony but at that point he looked away unable to take the fear that he knew would be on her face. She had not missed a day of the trial. His mother hadn't come, she was still too angry at him. She loved him, but her Catholic faith could not accept what he had done.

His phone buzzed on the counter again, he looked down already knowing it was Olivia. She had called him six times since they had left court and sent him five text. As the phone stopped buzzing it was followed by a knock at his door.

'Damn it Rafa, I know you are home, let me in." He heard her say from the other side of the door. She was persistent he had to give her that. He reluctantly went and let her in.

"Liv, I'm sorry but I told you that I wanted to be alone tonight." He told her but she was already stepping past him dropping her coat over the back of his couch and taking off her gloves.

'Well, heaven forbid we think about someone other than you and what you want." She snapped.

"Yes, sorry if I'm being a little self-centered before I face life in prison." He retorted.

"Oh, so now you are concerned about the consequences of your actions. It's a little late for that Rafael." She continued.

Rafael made his way back to the counter to his glass of scotch readying himself for the fight that he knew was coming.

"I told you Liv, sometimes you have to do what's right regardless of the consequences." He reminded her.

"The consequences to whom?" She demanded, "To those parents? The baby? Yourself?" She paused for a second before continuing, "Did you think about me at all? About Noah? Do you know what it's going to him if you are suddenly gone from his life" She paused again, "Did you think about us Rafa?"

"Us you and Noah or us you are me?" He asked stepping closer to her motioning between them. "I didn't know I was supposed to be thinking about us. I have spent years trying not to think about us." He confessed his voice growing louder.

''Any of us, any of the people that love you and count on you Rafael. You are supposed to be the person I can count on, you are the one with the answers. You are supposed to be the one…" She stopped and walked back to the couch gathering her coat and gloves, "Never mind, it doesn't matter anymore."

"What was I supposed to be Liv? Who do you want me to be?" He pushed.

"You were supposed to be the person I was squabbling with at eighty five." She yelled, "But I wasn't even someone you thought about before you decided to risk everything."

"I'm sorry Liv, in that moment I wasn't thinking about anything other than that baby and his suffering. But today in court when Stone asked me if I felt guilty and I said yes it wasn't because I think what I did was wrong. I feel guilty because of the fall out of what I have done, the pain that I have caused you and because I might have cost us our future."

Tears began to stream down Liv's face, "Our future? Fuck you Rafael Barba, fuck you standing there now talking about us having a future. There is no future because you might be going to jail tomorrow, because for your midlife crisis you decided to reject the thing you have spent your life defending. "

"What Liv, you are the only one allowed to take risk? How many times do you walk straight into the line of fire consequences be damned? Are you thinking about our future when you do that? About me or Noah?" He yelled fighting back his own tears.

"Every damn day Rafael. Every day I know it could be the last that Noah has me. Every day I know I could walk into a situation I can't get out of, and I know that things might go left unsaid. That's my job though Rafael and I made peace with it a long time ago. This wasn't your job, you didn't need to be the hero or martyr here."

"I wasn't trying to be a hero or a martyr, I just had to do it Liv, in that moment it was all I knew to do." He said softly stepping closer.

"And if this is the end of us? Was it worth it?" She asked him.

"The end of what us Liv? What is it you think you are losing?" He pushed her to go further.

"My best friend…" She whispered then paused stepping closer and placing a hand on his chest, "and my future."

"I have no future to offer you Liv, but I have tonight. I can give you all of me for tonight." He whispered placing his hands on her face. "Just for tonight Liv, can I have all of you?"

Olivia studied his eyes for a minute asking herself if she would be able to live without him once she had him. What would tomorrow bring when she could no longer feel his breath on her face and the warmth of his touch. To allow herself to have all of him and then to have none of him would be a heartbreak like she had never known. It could not compare to the regret she would feel if she turned and walked away from him tonight.

"I'm yours." She told him. The words had barely left her lips when she felt his engulf hers. She was taken back only for a moment by the passion in his kiss until she allowed all of hers to meet his. Rafael pushed them against the wall of his living room in an effort to keep them both steady ad their hands and lips explored each other in a fury of emotion. Both of their shirts were quickly discarded as they need to feel more of each other. Rafael stepped back to look at her.

"You are beautiful, Olivia. Not just now but all the time, you are always beautiful in every way." He told her before kissing her again. He felt her hand reach for the zipper of his pants and he let out as slowly stepped back realizing he did not want what would be their first and possible only time to be against the wall of his living room. "Come with me." He said taking her hand and guiding her to his bedroom.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" He asked her.

She answered him by removing her bra before she wrapped herself fully around him. He lifted her and carried her to the bed laying her on it and settling himself over her taking in every part of promising himself he would remember every moment of it, but soon he was too lost in her to think anymore.

BarsonBarsonBarsonBarson

"So you really are moving on." She said fighting back tears as she stood in his apartment the day after the trial surrounded by boxes and suitcases. "There never was going to be a future for us was there Rafael? You never wanted a future with me."

"Liv, I do want a future with you. I want it more than anything." He begged her to understand.

"Rafael, you want to a future with me, but you are running away? My future us here, with Noah and I thought with you."

"Liv, I'm not running away this organization needs me and I need it. Working with refugees and other people who are trying to escape horrible situations and come to our country. It's a chance for me to make a difference and clear my head, figure out what my future holds."

"And if you find out that your future doesn't hold me?" She asked no longer fighting the tears.

'"Liv, you and Noah are the future that I want, but I need to know what else it holds for me. I need to do this, please Liv tell me that you have my back." He begged her taking her hands in his.

"How long will you be gone?" she asked.

"Six months, then I will be home." He promised her. "I leave in the morning."

Olivia, "I will always have your back Rafa, you should know that by now." She said pressing her lips to his.

"Stay with me tonight, Liv." He whispered kissing her softly.

Olivia placed her hand on his chest and shook her head, "No, Rafael, I gave you all of me and you are leaving. As your friend I can support you but I can't do this again if you can't give me all of you." She kissed him one more time before stepping back. "Good bye Rafa, I will see you when you get back." She slowly walked from him. She hailed a cab collapsing into it as sobs took over her body, she glanced back up at his building where he had followed after her and was standing on the steps watching her drive away.

TBC