Title: The Dream That You Wish
Summary: Three times James asks Lily out and the one time she asks him out! Written for Valentine's Day!
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling and make no profit from any of what I am posting. The dialogue in (iii.) has been taken directly from Chapter 28 OotP.
Warning: None!
The Dream That You Wish
(Will Come True)
i.
Third year, the week before Valentine's day, he corners her outside the library, hands fidgeting with the sleeve of his robes, hair tousled. James looks like he's just come back from Quidditch practice and, it occurs to Lily, that this might not be entirely untrue.
"Wanna go to Hogsmeade with me?" The words come out in a rush and it takes Lily a moment to make any sense of them.
Then it hits her.
"Oh," she says and James pinches his lips together, running a hand through his hair. They're not particularly close and his question catches her by surprise. To be honest, Lily's only ever thought of herself and James as friends, if not acquaintances or friends of friends even.
"I'm sorry Potter, I don't think I want to date just yet." She looks up, chewing her lip. "Sorry."
He shakes his head quickly. "It's fine! Was a joke, actually." He grins apologetically and Lily cracks a nervous smile. "I guess I got you "
"Yeah," she says. "I guess you did."
ii.
Fourth year, she comes back to Hogwarts a couple of days before school reopens. Lily tells her parents it's because she wants to get some work done and 'settle in' before the term begins. If she's honest with herself (and that is something Lily's been known to struggle with) it's because the heavy silences when she's with Tuney have become unbearable and she needs to get away from it all.
She's only just arrived and is dying to sink into the soft mattresses of her dormitory when, before she can utter the password, the portrait hole swings open and a laughing James Potter appears only to trip and fall at her feet.
Sirius and Peter let out a peal of laughter, and Lily can't help but wonder what she's interrupted this time. She's about to question her classmates' sanity when James finally decides to look up, a lopsided grin etched across his face.
"Hogsmeade, Evans? You and me, together?"
She scoffs, sliding her bag up her shoulder. "In your dreams, Potter," she says, rolling her eyes and stepping around him.
It's not until later that evening, curled up on her bed with Mary and Marlene ramble about their holidays, does it occur to Lily that she wouldn't have minded saying yes.
iii.
" Leave him alone."
She can't hear herself over the thundering of her heart. There's a rush of anger and disappointment and Lily doesn't know what's worse - Sev's humiliation or the fact that it's at Potter's hand.
"I will if you go out with me, Evans," James says quickly. "Go on… go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."
His words feel like a blow to the gut and, for a moment, she can't speak. Then there's the familiar anger that rushes through her veins and bubbles in her throat, making her head throb. She wants to hex him into oblivion, yell a thousand curses at him.
"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid."
Sirius says something she can't make out and Lily finds that she can't bring herself to care.
It's disgusting that he chooses to objectify her. That he chooses to treat her as some sort of trophy or prize for his good behavior. She's smarter than him, she beats him in every fucking subject and, yet, when he asks her out it's as though none of that matters. It's like she's a challenge and all of this is some sort of game.
Then Sev attacks James and Sirius gets back at him and everything's a mess again. "LEAVE HIM ALONE!" she shouts, not sure if she's yelling at James or Sirius or Severus. She wants to yell at them all, wants them to leave her be. She wants to tell James exactly why she's angry and tell Severus to stop hexing her friends. But the words refuse to leave her lips.
Then, "I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"
The world stops.
"Fine. I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellius."
James is yelling again and Lily thinks she's shouting at him. Her temple aches and everything is a blur and she's not even sure who she's angry at anymore. The only thing Lily knows is that she wants, no, needs to be alone.
Lily Evans cuts off two friends that night, two people she almost loved.
iv.
Seventh year, they're studying in the Head's Common Room again; Her stacks of notes spread all over the table whilst James sits on the couch with nothing but a single textbook and a bunch of parchment.
She doesn't mean to stare but Herbology is being particularly dull and Potter, for once, seems to be engrossed in his work. He's constantly moving, whether it's to straighten his glasses or tilt the parchment or move his quill. It's strange that he's so distracted and, yet, so focused at the same time. Then again, James Potter is, in many ways, a walking-talking oxymoron.
He blinks, suddenly, pulls off his glasses, squinting at his book while rubbing the glass between the folds of his shirt. His nose is larger than she'd realized. It's crooked at the end, hooked even, and Lily wonders how she never noticed before. It looks kind of terrible, to be honest. His eyes, however, look more brown than hazel, stand out against his dark skin and look, well, beautiful.
James looks up as he puts his glasses on again, meeting her eye and giving Lily a crooked smile that has her heart soaring.
"All right, Evans?"
She nods, looking down at Herbology again, then changes her mind.
"Actually Potter," she says, and he looks up at once like an excited puppy or something equally adorable. "You free this weekend?"
His hand's in his hair and the crooked smile is back. "I s'pose. What for?"
A blush creeps up her cheeks and Lily has to bite back a smile. "Hogsmeade? You and me? Bit of a date like situation?"
He blinks, the smile disappears and Lily's heart stops.
"Am I dreaming?"
She tosses her book across the table and James catches it easily. "No, you prick! Just answer already."
"Yes, Evans. Obviously."
It's too good to be true. (On second thoughts, maybe she's the one dreaming).
So guess who speed wrote this between revising for an exam tomorrow?
I'll try and come back to this later and edit it properly but for now, hope you guys enjoy this!
Just wanted to say that when I say 'almost loved' I don't mean that Snily could have happened. I like to think that Lily thought of Snape as a brother and nothing more. Ever.
Lily's reaction to seeing James without his glasses was 100% me seeing my crush without glasses though I'm not sure how relatable that is...
Criticism and reviews are more than welcome! As are requests for more Jily because I honestly don't have a life and my brain switches to Jily every time I start studying!
Thanks for reading!