There were days in the summer that were torture down in Houston. Since Houston was closer to the equator the summer was more dreadful than most places, but Reba Hart still loved living in Houston. She had made so many memories in Houston and even though some were bad they still helped shape her until the beautiful forty-seven year old woman that she was. Reba first moved to Houston with her then fiancé Brock Hart. He was going to college to become a dentist and after he graduated they wanted something different and Brock found that Houston was a great place for dentists, so they packed up everything from their Oklahoma home and made the move. Since they had moved to Oklahoma they got married, had three beautiful children, went through a separation where Brock got a mistress and got her pregnant, and got in a divorce. Even though things hadn't worked out like she wanted them to she didn't have any regrets.
Cheyanne and Van had moved into an apartment on their own and Kyra ended up going on a tour with her band after she graduated from high school. There was a part of Reba that was very nervous to let Kyra go, but Reba knew that Kyra was following her dream and she didn't want to get in the way of that. It made Reba so happy to see how much Kyra was having fun with her band, and she was doing a great job as well. Jake was still living at home but he seemed to never be there anymore. He was always wanting to stay at a friend's house, and Reba always allowed him to as long as she knew their parents.
Normally being alone in the house didn't bother Reba. She needed some time to herself with peace and quiet, although it did take a while for her to get used to it. After having such a big family for so many years the quiet was not something that Reba was exposed to very much. For some reason today was a day that she couldn't stand the silence. The silence was just giving her time to think, and for whatever reason all she could think about was that she was alone now. Everyone was moving on with their lives and she was left in the dust, which was her biggest fear.
Reba walked into her kitchen and grabbed a bottle of her favorite wine and a wine glass. She needed to get her mind off things because she hated the feeling alone. She rarely grabbed a bottle of wine with the intention to get drunk but tonight was different. She wanted to get drunk. She wanted her thoughts to go away. She didn't want to think about how much her life had changed. She then walked into the living room and sat on the couch as she sat the wine bottle and glass on the coffee table. She poured her a glass and started drinking. As she started getting a tipsy Brock walked through the front door.
Before Brock could say anything he noticed that Reba was drinking wine. "Everything okay Reba?" Brock asked as he slowly walked over to the couch where Reba was sitting. Things had changed in their relationship as well. They used to be so close, and even though Reba claimed to hate how close they were, she knew that it was a lie. She loved that even though they went through hell they were still great friends. Now they were seeing each other less and less but Reba would never admit how upset she was over that. If she admitted how upset she was over the fact that they hardly ever saw each other, then her true feelings for Brock would be admitted as well.
Reba looked over at Brock as he sat next to her. "Brock I really don't want to talk about anything right now." Reba said as she poured herself another glass of wine and started drinking it. "I just want to enjoy some time alone with my wine." Reba said as she wouldn't make eye contact with Brock. She wouldn't make eye contact with anything except for the glass of wine and the floor.
Brock, knowing that something was wrong with Reba, decided he was not going to leave until he knew what was up with her. "Reba I've known you for over thirty years. Something is wrong with you and I'm not going to leave until you tell me what it is." Brock said as he went in the kitchen and grabbed a wine glass and then returned to the couch and poured him a glass of wine. Brock looked at Reba knowing that she was going to eventually break and talk to him about what was bothering her. Brock would rather be here with Reba who wasn't wanting to talk to him than at his house with Barbra Jean who yelled at him for every little thing.
The silence was dreadful for the both of them but Reba knew that if she talked to Brock about what was bothering her everything was going to be out in the open. He would know that she still missed and loved him and that was just going to cause more problems and make Reba want to drink more often to get away from her thoughts. With every sip of wine Reba felt herself getting closer and closer to where she intended to be, drunk.
Brock wasn't too far behind her but he was sober enough to still know that things were different between the two of them and Reba was keeping something from her. He hated how distant they had become. Brock once felt like they shared everything together despite the constant sarcasm from Reba and bickering back and forth. Now Brock felt as if they weren't best friends but strangers who just so happened to run into each other a few times. "Reba Nell, something is wrong with you. I hardly ever see you and I never see you smile anymore. Heck you don't even call me back if I call you. Something is wrong and I'm dead serious about not leaving here until you talk to me."
Reba looked at Brock, and although she wasn't quite as drunk as she wanted to be, she knew that she couldn't keep in what she was feeling any longer. "You know what Brock? Life goes great and then one day everyone stops needing you. The people that you care for the most don't need you. They don't talk to you. Everyone else moves on with their lives when you were perfectly content with the way things were." Reba said as she wouldn't make eye contact with Brock, she couldn't make eye contact with him. She didn't want to see what his facial expression. "It's like one day things go completely downhill and it eventually goes uphill, but what happens when it goes downhill again?" Reba asked softly.
Not knowing what to say Brock looked at Reba, who still was not making any eye contract with him. "Reba you know better than anyone that things will get better. Things always get better." Brock said as he moved his hand over to Reba's and laid it on top of her hand. Reba quickly looked over at Brock and she was took by surprise when Brock made that small innocent gesture. Reba wasn't sure what to say now.
With her other hand she picked up her wine glass and quickly chugged what was left in the glass. "What if none of this would have happened if our marriage didn't end?" Reba asked softly as she broke their eye contact. She didn't want to have eye contact with him, and as of right now she wasn't sure if she wanted any kind of contact with him.
Brock looked at her even though she wouldn't look at him. "I constantly wonder what our lives would be like if I hadn't screwed up. The truth is Reba I still.." Brock started to say before Reba stopped him. She wasn't going to let him finish what he was going to say. Things had changed so much in the past nine years and she wasn't going to allow him to say something that he would wind up regretting. That was not okay with her no matter how drunk she was.
Reba stood up as she swung her arms up in the air and then down to her sides. "Brock stop. You made your choice and now you have to live with it. I'm not your wife anymore. You're drunk and you just think that I'm the one that you want, but we both know that it's not true." Reba said as now her whole attitude, and thoughts, had changed. She was not thinking about how lonely she was anymore. Now she was thinking about the fact that Brock still loved her and that she still loved him.
Brock stood up and walked over to Reba as he placed his hands on her arms. "Reba firstly we both know that you are way more wasted than I am, and secondly losing you was the biggest mistake that I have ever made. Yes I love Barbra Jean but there will always be a place for you in my heart." Brock said as Reba pushed him away. She wasn't going to have this. Not right now, and Brock knew that. Brock knew that she was a self-respected woman who always tried to do the right things, and that wasn't exactly Brock's strong point.
Walking into the kitchen Reba decided she needed to drink something a little stronger. Now instead of thinking about her children growing up and leaving her she was thinking about her feelings for her ex-husband, and that was a door that she was fighting so hard to keep closed. It didn't need to be reopened. Not with everything that had happened with everyone in the past. Reba grabbed a bottle of whisky and poured it into a shot glass as she quickly gulped it down, ignoring the slight burning sensation that it gave her as it traveled down her throat. She did that another three times before Brock walked into the kitchen.
He looked at Reba and could see that she was getting drunk more so than she already had been. "Look Reba, obviously this was a mistake to stay here when you're like this. I was trying to be here for you but I don't think any good can come out of it when you're drunk like this." Brock said as he looked at her and started heading towards the kitchen door.
Reba, not thinking about what was the right thing to do in this situation, walked over to Brock and grabbed his arm while he was reaching for the door knob so he could leave. She was no longer going to let him leave. Brock turned around shocked that Reba had stopped him. Without saying a word Reba quickly pressed her lips to his and Brock couldn't protest. He knew that it was wrong but he had waited for this kiss for nine years and he wasn't going to be the one to end it.
After about a minute of kissing Brock, Reba pulled away and looked in his eyes. Brock looked in her eyes and he could see that now that she was completely wasted she could crash at any moment. He already felt guilty for not stopping the kiss when he had a chance, and there was no way that he was going to take more advantage of her. He carefully picked her up and carried her upstairs. When he reached her bedroom she was already asleep in his arms. He carried her to the bed and laid her down as he then tucked her in under the covers and kissed her head softly. "I'll see you tomorrow." Brock whispered as he then walked out of the bedroom and headed back to his house.
The following morning when Reba woke up she had a pounding headache and she couldn't remember most of what had happened the previous night besides the fact that Brock had come to visit. Since he wasn't lying next to her in the bed she assumed that nothing bad had happened, and she took the pillow and placed it over her eyes. After a minute or so Reba knew she was going to have to get up and get some aspirin for her headache, but she was amazed by what she saw on her nightstand that was next to her bed. The first thing that caught her eye was a folded up piece of paper that was quickly in her hands. After she unfolded the paper she read the words that were in the most beautiful handwriting that she had ever seen. The letter read:
Reba,
I carried you to bed after last night after you finished drinking your whisky. Nothing but the kiss happened last night, and I understand if you want to pretend like it never happened but I hope you will at least just discuss it with me first. You can't just kiss me when you're drunk and never call me or anything. Anyways, I knew that you would have quite a headache when you woke up so I got you a bottle of water as well as a bottle of aspirin so you wouldn't have to get up until you were ready. Give me a call if you need anything.
Love Always,
Brock
Seeing what Brock had done made her smile, and she quickly took the aspirin with a drink of water, but she was haunted by something. She was haunted by knowing that they shared a kiss, and the way he ended his letter haunted him more than anything. Love Always, those two words made Reba wonder what she should do. Those two words made Reba question rather she should do the right or wrong thing. Those two words made her cringe and melted her heart at the same time.
Reba laid back down in her bed and was trying to think of what she needed to do. This was the closest she had felt to Brock in a very long time and something had happened between the two of them. One of the reasons Reba had distanced herself from Brock was because she knew that since the kids were grown up she thought a lot about what their life would've been like right now if the divorce had never happened. She imagined the two of them enjoying each other's company and finally being able to breathe after having a busy household for many years, but knowing what their life could've been like made Reba want to distance herself from him. Her thought was that if she was around him less than the thoughts of what could have been would die down. Of course that hadn't proved to be true, but she was still hoping that it would.
The day passed on and Reba hadn't gotten out of bed except for when she was hungry and wanted something to eat, which wasn't often because of the horrifying headache that she had. Although she constantly thought about what was going on between her and Brock now that they had shared the kiss. Did this mean that there was a possibility of something happening between the two of them? Nothing could happen between the two of them because even though he was having problems with Barbra Jean and they were talking about separating he was still married to her. Reba knew that she could never do to someone else what was done to her. She knew how much it hurt and never wanted to put anyone in that kind of pain, not even Barbra Jean.
Before Reba knew it the clock read six and she couldn't believe how late it was. She had took a few naps and even finished a book when her head wasn't pounding. There was a knock at her bedroom door that startled her. She slowly looked over to the doorway and saw Brock standing there. He slowly walked in the room before he started talking. "You haven't returned any of my calls."
Brock then approached the bed and Reba didn't make direct eye contact with him. She didn't know what to say. "Brock, I don't know what happened last night but it shouldn't have. Even if it was just a kiss it shouldn't have happened!" Reba said as she was now ignoring the pounding in her head. Seeing Brock made Reba question herself about what she should do. Her head was telling her that she needed to continue to distance herself from him, even more so than she already had. Her heart, on the other hand, was telling her to let Brock in and see what comes from it. To see if something could happen between the two of them again.
Brock looked at Reba as he kneeled down by her bed. "You're right. It shouldn't have happened, but it did and we can't ignore that." Brock said as he could tell that Reba wouldn't look at him. He didn't regret what had happened, but he knew that Reba probably did. What was she thinking? Was there no longer and kind of love left for him except for the fact that he was the father of her children?
Without looking at Brock, Reba rolled over so her back was facing him. "Brock, please just go." Reba said softly as she fought back tears. She knew that if Brock saw how upset she was he wasn't going to leave. Brock didn't say anything else to Reba. If she wanted him to leave then that's what he was going to do. He didn't want to upset her or make things harder for her, so at the moment he was going to face whatever was in their future alone.
Once Brock left the bedroom and started walking down the hallway he couldn't stop thinking about what was going on between the two of them. She pushes me away when she's sober but she loves me when she's drunk, Brock thought to himself confused on what was going on. He hated the fact that their friendship had gotten to this point. He hated the fact that it felt like they hardly had a friendship anymore. Now they were just strangers with a past instead of two people who had an amazing friendship after a marriage that ended awful.
Brock left her house knowing that he didn't want to. He had no choice. If there was any chance of having a working friendship again he needed to give her the space that she wanted and needed. Brock knew better than anyone that if Reba didn't get the space she needed things were going to get said, and even if those things weren't what Reba meant she would still say them. Although there was no place Brock would rather be than with Reba, he knew that it wasn't the best option right now. Brock went home to Barbra Jean that night, where she constantly yelled at him for everything he did just like always.
The following day Brock knew that he was going to have to talk to Reba rather she wanted to or not. This was not something that they could pretend never happened, and Brock was not going to let Reba think that it was. It was around noon and he had already tried to call Reba three times in the past two hours. Brock was getting aggravated with the way that the things were going with the two of them so he grabbed his jacket and walked out the door, heading to Reba's house so they could settle what was going on between the two of them once and for all. He couldn't take her dodging his calls and constantly pushing him away any longer.
He opened the kitchen door to find Reba in the kitchen washing dishes. "Okay Reba what the hell?" Brock said as he walked over and placed his jacket on the stool as he looked at Reba. Reba looked as if she had no idea as to why Brock was upset, but Brock knew that she had an idea. There was no way that she couldn't have known why Brock was upset. When Reba answered Brock by saying what Brock felt himself get more aggravated. "Why the hell are you going to act like nothing happened and continue to ignore me? You're not going to pretend you don't know me when you're sober and then act like you love me when you're drunk." Brock said as he could tell that Reba as about to start pushing him away again, but he was determined to not let her this time. This was not how he wanted their friendship to end. Just as she started talking he interrupted her and said, "No Reba. I will not leave no matter how much you want me to. We are going to talk about this and work this out like the adults that we are. I'm tired of the mixed feelings that I am getting. Either you care about me or you don't, but I want to know and I want to know now!"
Reba's eyes grew wide when Brock finished talking. "Who the hell do you think you are to come into my house and demand I tell you things?! You want the truth Brock!? The truth is that I never stopped loving you and when I'm alone with you it just reminds me of what used to be! It makes me wish that the separation and divorce never happened! When I'm alone with you I can't think straight and I question myself on rather I should do the right or wrong thing! So if you want to know why I have distanced you that's why!" Reba said as she had tears in her eyes. She couldn't believe that she had just told her ex-husband that she never stopped loving him.
Brock looked at his ex-wife with wide eyes. Yes, he wanted the answer but he was not expecting for that to happen. "I've never stopped loving you either." Brock said as he then started walked towards Reba. When he reached Reba his heart was racing and she finally made complete eye contact with him and was looking in his blue eyes. "I never will stop loving you Reba. If there's nothing in the future for us except for being friends then so be it, but please don't treat me different when you're drunk and when you're sober. Not having your friendship is the thing that I dread the most." Brock said softly as he looked in her eyes. She was beautiful as always.
Her heart was racing that she thought it was going to burst out of her chest at any moment. She couldn't allow herself to do anything with Brock no matter how bad she wanted to, yet they had this talk where they just confessed their love for each other. That was the reason Reba stayed clear of any talks that could result in this because she knew that she would tell him that she loved him and then he would leave. That's what had to happen. He was married to Barbra Jean. "I really wish things were different Brock, but they can't be. You made your choice and now you have a family with her." Reba said softly before she started talking again. "We shouldn't have said how we feel."
Pressing his lips to Reba's forehead he looked down in her eyes. "Even though nothing can happen, right now at least, it's nice to know that we still share that love for each other." Brock said as he smiled softly. "I need to go to the office, but I'll talk to you later." Brock said as he placed another kiss on Reba's forehead and headed towards the kitchen door. He turned around and looked at Reba, who was looking at him. Brock gave Reba a reassuring smile that things were going to be alright and then walked out of the door.