Overture
"Per me si va ne la città dolente,
per me si va ne l'etterno dolore,
per me si va tra la perduta gente.
Giustizia mosse il mio alto fattore;
fecemi la divina podestate,
la somma sapienza e 'l primo amore.
Dinanzi a me non fuor cose create
Se non etterne, e io etterno duro.
Lasciate ogne speranza voi ch'intrate."
World's most famous poet. Italian. Who is he?
And with this little question, your Symphonies in Sorrow is back. And he's back with his fiction: yeah, that's right, THAT fiction that was literally killing me. Finally, after weeks and weeks, here it is… I feel a little better… Now, before you read the fic, let's clear everything:
1-This fic is rated R for different reasons. So if you're twelve years old, tell your parents not to sue me. Or, in alternative, get out of here. But if your pen name is Bonekhan, you can stay…
2-The fic is… contorted. Let me explain: the first part is a mental monologue, written in italic, thought by my first original character. Read on to find the name. The second part is a normal dialogue between Rae and Star after their nightmares. Go read the "Web of a Dream" trilogy to understand the plot. They're three little one-shot. Easy and short. The third part is another mental monologue, thought by my second original character. All you have to know is: he's a bastard.
3-This overture is long. I can't care less. I must thank someone. A great, infinite, limitless, never-ending (etc. etc…) "thank you" to… Bonekhan 313. This guy is the beta-reader, people. And he's a great writer too. Man, I'll come in America just to shake your hand… Another "thank you" goes to… Dan, Gianni, Steve and Omar. Those guys are an emergent group and, believe me, they're good. They inspired me with different songs (from Manowar to Iron Maiden to Metallica), because you should know that music is the source, brain is the maker and sorrow is the fuel. God bless you, my friends! A special thanks to… vikilurvestories. For unique mail and… unlimited friendship. That was the last. To all this people: vi sono infinitamente grato.
And now… what? Go read the fiction. And try to understand who's the poet (I posted it here, 'cuz I'm studying him; I love him. He's just great, probably better than Poe or Milton)…
A New Foe
Act One: Presentations
Another day has finally ended. Another day is finally beginning. Another torture is finally over.
That's his job: he began with Raven. He found somebody very tough. She was scared, but she resisted. I admire her. After Rae (can I call her Rae? I don't even know her…) he continued with Starfire. And for a minute I was really worried. Some of his visions (because they're not nightmares… they're visions) are tremendously bad. That was more than bad. It was awful. He raped her… well, not really raped. He raped her inside her mind. He made her believe that he was really Robin and he was really raping her. He raped an image. They were images, but realistic. Poor Star… that was terrible. I don't know her, but I know her feelings. She loves Robin. How the hell I know it? Simple. He knows it. Whatever he knows, I know. Whatever he feels, I feel. While he was moving Rae, like a puppeteer, and killing her friends, he felt lust. He felt pleasure. When he raped Starfire, he was… rapturous. He was in his personal paradise. I felt every sensation. I felt his lust. I felt Raven's pleasure. I felt Starfire's pain. When I think to what happened to her… I cry. She's so innocent… how can he hurt somebody so pure? Oh, it's not the end: he made a vision even to Terra. To a stone. She's probably condemned, maybe not. And he used her too. I felt his lust (He loves lust. It's a wonderful feeling for him). I felt her… what she was feeling? I don't know. A mix between joy and desperation. Joy, because she thought she was free. She thought she was again with her lover. Desperation, because then she understood reality. She's still a stone. The sun is shining on her rock form, not on her beautiful head. I'm sorry… I'm sorry Raven, Starfire and Terra. I'm sorry.
Why I feel everything? Why I'm so much linked to him? Why…?
I don't know. To be honest, I don't even know who I am. Let me explain:
I am 17 years old. Well, that's what I think. I don't know anything from my past. I can't remember my parents, I don't even know if I have parents. The only thing I know is that I have some strange powers. I know it, because it happened once: I had an injury. My leg. After a bad fall. The wound was full of blood. I just felt a strange sensation, some kind of… anger. Yeah, it was anger, but I don't know why I was angry. Anyway, I felt an irresistible need… to hurt somebody. I'm not a violent person. I can't even hurt a fly. I just felt this temptation. He was making a vision to somebody; I touched my leg and… it was perfect. No blood, no wound, nothing at all. How is this possible? I'm linked to him: if he does something he likes, he feels good. And me too. It's… hard to explain, but when he makes a vision, I can use some sort of healing powers. It's incredible. Just like my life. I don't have a life. I'm closed in an apartment. I don't go to school. I just live with his emotions… and the emotions of his poor victims. And I hate this. I want a normal life. I want to know who I am. I want to know where are my parents. I want to know why I'm linked to him. I want to know why I should live this life.
Because I don't have a life. Nobody knows me. Nobody can understand the pain I feel every fucking time. I don't want to live anymore. I just want to die.
No. I must search for… something about my past. I need to know.
God, I just remember what I did last month, because it was my birthday! What a strange birthday. I woke up from a long sleep. I woke up in a house. I don't know this house. I don't know this city. I just know… that it was my birthday. Then, I know I'm linked to him. Nothing more. No, I don't have some memory's problem. I just know this is my life. I feel like a puppet. I feel like I'm living in a mirror. I feel like I am somebody else. I feel like I am nothing. All in one.
What a delirium… Here I am, with nothing about me, about my past, about anything… with a strange tattoo. I forget the tattoo. I have a strange tattoo on my left shoulder. It's a strange word, I use it as a name, even if it's not a name, this is the only thing I know about me: I am that word. And it's a word without meaning. Necronomen. A red tattoo. Red? Yes, red. It's not my fault, I don't even know from where it comes out. I just know I have it since… a long time. That's my life. Short. Mysterious. Sad. I hate myself. I want to die. But first he must pay. Oh, yes, I've decided. I must kill him. Then I can peacefully die. After what he did to Rae… and Star and Terra too. I'll help the Titans. The only thing I need is… another vision. No, not for me. I have a plan. I hope it will work.
---
Morning. Half past seven. A well-known tower. Raven is sitting on the sofa. Starfire is beside her. She's finally sleeping. What a night! She had a nightmare in which she kills everyone, and Star… well, Starfire's nightmare was worse. Robin raped her. She cried for all night, right on her shoulders. What a friend has to do… At least, now Star is sleeping.
"And why the hell I'm still up? I'm tired…"
A long yawn escapes from her mouth. She really looks tired. What about the others? They're all sleeping. They hadn't nightmare. But is this just a coincidence? The fact that Rae and Star had a strange nightmare? Maybe. But the dark charming girl does not believe in coincidences.
Starfire is now moving her head. She opens her shining green eyes. She smiles to Raven.
-Good morning, Rae. How are you?- she asks.
-Fine but tired. What about you?-
-Tired, too. I had better nights-
-Oh, tell me…-
The alien girl hugs Raven friendly.
-Thank you. For your support. For talking with me. For being such a great friend-
-Don't worry. Anyway, what will you do? With Rob?-
The smile disappears from Starfire's face. A sad expression appears.
-I don't know. I don't know what to do, what to say… I don't even know if I can look in his eyes once again, I…-
-Don't be shy, Star. Try to talk with him. Explain him that nightmare, then, maybe, you can tell him why are you so hurt… because you love him. He will understand. Remember: that was just a nightmare-
-I… I'll try. Maybe-
-Star, what I'm trying to say is… you can't blame him. I know that was really a bad nightmare, but it's not Robin's fault. It's…
-Sometimes you really treat me like an idiot, Raven…-
"Because this is what the most of time you really look like…"
-… I know it's not his fault. It's just… every time I will look at him, I will see that smiling demon of the nightmare, and not Robin… you probably can't understand, but…-
The shining green eyes are now filled with tears.
"… what am I thinking? She's not an idiot. She's just… a child. Scared to death."
-Come on, calm down…- Raven hugs the alien girl again.
-Rae… I had a nightmare, you too… is that a coincidence?- she dries the tears off her face.
-I don't know… to be honest, I don't think so. And if that wasn't a coincidence…-
-… somebody wants to hurt us- ends Starfire.
-But why? I mean, we're the Titans, all the villains in this city want our heads, but… why the others hadn't nightmare? Why just you and me?-
-Are you sure? We don't know if we're the only ones…-
-Good point. I'm gonna ask them if they had…-
Right in that moment, a large door opens, and the male part of Teen Titans drowsy comes out.
---
Blood… Hate… Pain… Fear… Oh, yeah, wonderful sensations! It's impossible to describe: adrenaline rush in my veins faster than a bullet, pleasure is killing me… Are those my sources of lust?
Yes. And I like 'em too damn much.
First, that demon girl… she's just like me. She's dark. She's beautiful. She's evil… under all. That vision was perfect for her: blood everywhere, death, her own friends killed by her… what a great job! But she wasn't shocked enough… she hasn't fed me… my powers. My dirty soul. But she will. I swear. And then… the alien girl. That was… oh… In my mind I see those scenes again and again and again… See her naked, see fear in her eyes, see pain in her expression… that's lust. Pure lust. I remember her expression when I penetrated her… I was dying with lust and she was paralyzed with fear… with pain. I remember her blood flowing out of her sweet, little hole… stop thinking about it, or I will come in my pants. How perverse my mind is…? She's a perfect source. I mustn't consume her. Oh, I forgot: the blonde bitch… At the beginning all that love was…oh, it fills me with disgust… but then… Ah, ah! Then I saw pain, fear… and desperation. She's my best source of desperation. She knows she will never be free… shadows are working perfectly. They're destroying her mind, piece after piece, memory after memory… memory… she will never see her friends again. Never. I need her as a stone. She's my desperation's font… my little blonde source.
I should stop my thoughts, they are driving me insane… or am I already out of my mind? This is the perfect question for a psychologist… Ok, on with metaphysical concepts: why we live our lives? To enjoy it. Right? I'm living my life because I want to enjoy it; life is just an amusement park in which we, as kids, play this or that funny game… This is life. What happens when I want to enjoy my life, but there's a conflict with… you know, with… how to call it? "Human normality"… that's a good name. There's a conflict between my life and "human normality". What happen? Will I respect this awful, boring normality, just doing whatever other people do, following somebody… or will I break every rule and just think to my personal wish? To my personal desire? To my personal, and yeah, why not, perverse blood lust? That's why in this world there are so many killers, so many rapists, so many violent people… Because we've find out that normal is boring. Normal is to follow somebody. We're not sheep. We don't want to follow somebody. We need to lead. We need to set our souls free, we need to dominate our lives and whoever walks through our way, we need to feel raging flames all over our bodies, 'cause this is the only way to fulfill our wishes, our ambitions! Let's go to hell! Let's change it in a place more and more hot! If this is the only way to enjoy our lives, just do it! Kill, rape, think of the craziest and worst thing you can do, go out and do it again and again…
This is my philosophy. Am I still crazy? Or am I enjoying my life?
Sometimes I'm really scared of my mind. Sometimes I really reach incredible levels of madness… or abnormality, if you want. But that's me. And nobody will change me. Never
Hey, I'm losing my primary objective! Make those bitches suffer for my own desire. I should not forget it. I've got some ideas I will soon accomplish…
But what will happen if they will find me? I mean, I'm too clever; they can't get me, but what if that motherfucker will… He's a problem. And, as every problem, I must solve it. Here's my first mistake in this perfect plan. He should not exist. He should not be linked with me. That's a mistake. Insignificant, but still a mistake.
Now, I need a name. Maybe in some of the next visions I will show myself. And I don't want them remembering me as an image. As a nightmare. They must remember me as a name that will scare them to death. Every time they will think of my name, they must suffer, scream with pain, rattle like children in front of a lightning. And probably I've found it.
Leper Messiah. That's my name. I'm the new ghost of Teen Titans. And I will make them suffer.
I can't see my face, it's too dark in this chamber, but I can imagine my smile. It's probably larger than a smile after one of my perverted orgasm after a vision. Or not? Maybe I prefer the orgasm…
Finale
… soooo??? What do ya think 'bout it? I know that "Leper Messiah" is impudently taken from Metallica's song, but… you know… come on, isn't it perfect for a bastard like him? You'll see how much perverse and twisted can be his mind… And then, I'm a Metallica fan, take it as a tribute to Hetfield, Hammett, Ulrich, and… I can't say "Trujillo", he'll never be the bassist… how can I forget Cliff Burton? Rest in peace. Anyways, I want to know if you like this story. Review or e-mail (BTW, I'm still searching for a beta-reader; I have a couple of one-shots, but they're hard and…). Gotta go, I have to write the second chapter (I'll update soon, I promise)!
Sincerely yours,
Symphonies in Sorrow