I wrote this because I am getting SICK of serious Naruto/HP crossovers! I've seen it all: Itachi falling for Harry, Sasuke being reincarnated as Harry Potter, Orochimaru being Voldemort in disguise, Naruto falling for Hermione...ENOUGH ALREADY! IT'S SO OVERDONE! So I wrote this fic to parody such stories.

Harry Potter © JK Rowling...I mean, Warner Bros. (methinks they're gonna sue my pants off without a disclaimer)

Naruto © Kishimoto

I don't own Harry Potter or Naruto. If I DID, however, teehee -thinks of the possibilities-

(almost done, promise!) I'd also like to thank Molly for listening to the rants and stupid ideas that inspire my fics, as well as giving me some too.

Once upon a franchise, there was a magical school of witchcraft and wizardry. Deep within the school was the Gryffindor tower, where the young and hormone ridden Harry Potter resided. He was sitting on his bed slamming his head repeatedly against the headboard.

"What's wrong?" asked Ron Weasley, one of his friends.

"Oh Ron, it's dreadful! Those blasted fangirls keep trying to cross this series over with one about ninjas. And they aren't doing a very good job..."

Just then, a girl with bright green eyes peered in the doorway.

"Hold it! This is the BOYS dormitory! GET THE BLOODY HELL OUT" screamed Ron.

Someone suddenly hit the girl over the head with a shuriken.

"LEIA! This is an ANTI Naruto/HP crossover fic. Don't be a hypocrite."

"Please, Sasuke?!" Leia begged. "At least let me make out with Oliver Wood!"

"No. We're leaving."

"Seamus Finnegan?"

"Come on, Leia." Sasuke dragged her by the collar.

"What about the Weasley twins? Sort of a Hikaru and Kaoru host club scenario?"

"Sorry about this" Sasuke apologized to Harry and Ron. "This fangirl hasn't had her shots yet…" Leia flashed her patented kitty eyes at them and meowed as Sasuke dragged her off. Ron gave a half smile and Harry went to hide in his emo corner.

"What are you doin', Harry? You can't have an emo corner in a round room," stated Dean Thomas.

"Shut up! You don't understand! NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND MY TORTURED PAST"

"I do," said a ninja who suddenly appeared in the corner for no reason whatsoever.

"Who the hell are you?" asked Ron.

"My name is Kabuto" said the ninja. "And everyone keeps comparing us."

Ron just stared, not seeing a resemblance, while Harry stared wide-eyed at someone who could partake in his angst.

Kabuto spoke. "You have glasses, I have glasses. You have an evil snake rival and I have an evil snake coughmancrushcough"

"What was that last part?" asked Harry.

"Nothing, had um…something in my throat! Yeah, that's it!"

"Kabuto! I'll follow you to the ends of the earth! We can write depressing poetry about our pasts for eternity!" Harry lunged forward and hugged the ninja's knees.

Kabuto sweatdropped. "Thanks, but no thanks. I have plans. You know, places to go, people to murd— I mean, see."

Seamus Finnegan appeared at the doorway, but upon seeing Harry pelvic thrusting ('pelvic thrust' © Ayumi Elric) at an older dude, he backed away slowly while brandishing his wand.

already wrote the 2nd chapter, so expect an update soon, if the HPxNaruto fans haven't killed me yet...