Ok, so, this was a school assignment. We had to rewrite the ending of Romeo and Juliet, and we could throw in any ending we wanted (within reason, of course.)
So I threw in some plot holes, redid everything, and... stuff. We also had to use the Shakespearen language, so that's why they talk weird.
Also, almost none of this is cannon. If you haven't read the actual book, it will get confusing, and you might not know half of these people, but... yeah. Hope you enjoy it!
Paris and his page entered the Capulet's burial vault silently. He gestured to the page to hand him the torch but seemed to think better of it.
"Stop! Put it out! Thou wish not to be seen! Hide beneath the yew trees. Press thine ear to the ground and listen for footsteps," he whispered.
"I'm almost afraid to wait here alone, but I'll take my chances," the page whispered to himself. He ran off and hid beneath the trees, doing exactly what Paris told him to do.
Paris continued on ahead, stopping at Juliet's tomb.
"Sweet flower, I scatter petals over thine bridal bed. O woe, thy canopy is dust and stones, over which sweet water will be sprinkled every night."
He scattered petals over Juliet's tomb, sobbing silently over her. He looked up when he heard a sharp whistle in the distance.
"Oh, no! Someone must be coming!" he exclaimed (quietly, of course) and dove into the bushes.
He peeked out, finding two men out wandering near the tomb.
"Give me the pick and crowbar and take this letter to my lord and father early in the morning. Swear upon thy life that thou will not stick around. Whatever you may hear, do not come back. Take this money and live prosperously," said the first guy.
"I shall be gone, sir, and not trouble you," said the second guy.
"If you don't go, if you turn back, by heaven I will tear thee joint by joint, and strew this old churchyard with your limbs," the first guy threatened. The second one gulped and ran off, leaving the first one alone.
The second guy stopped by the bushes Paris was hiding in, panting slightly.
"All the same... I worry. Maybe I should stay and hide," he said to himself. He jumped into Paris's bushes, startling him out of his spot and alerting the first man to his presence.
"What the-?" he started. "Wait... Mercutio's kinsman, thee noble Count Paris! What the heck are you doing here, man?"
"You-who are you?" Paris asked, not recognizing the man.
"I am Romeo," he said.
"Romeo!" Paris roared. "You killed Tybalt, Juliet's beloved cousin. There's rumor that she died of grief over his loss, and now, you've come here to do something horrible! You are under arrest, condemned villain!"
"Wait, what? Listen, I'm not here to do anything to the bodies. I just want to die beside Juliet," Romeo said. Peris stopped for a second.
"Die? What for? And why beside dear Juliet?" Paris intoned.
"I wish to die for my crimes against my love," he said, gripping something tight in his hand.
"Your love?" Paris asked. Romeo nodded.
"Yes. I had the Friar Lawrence marry us, but now she's dead, and it's due to the cousin slain by my hand," Romeo admitted. He opened his hand and held it up to the light of the torch, revealing a tiny container full of a clear liquid. "Don't tempt me any more, for I already love you more than I love myself. Look, I'm even armed to hurt myself."
Paris took a step closer to Romeo and gently lifted the glass from his hand. Romeo looked at him, confused.
"Let's see her, one last time," he suggested. "Then we can do whatever."
Romeo nodded, and together, they opened Juliet's tomb.
The two stared down at her sleeping form, neither moving, both breathing steadily.
"Dear Juliet," said Romeo. Paris was grieving, too, but Romeo was her husband, and she was his wife. He would let Romeo grieve first.
"Oh, my love, my wife, death that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath no power over thine beauty. Your cheeks and lips are still pink. Death has not conquered every aspect of you, yet," said Romeo.
"Wait... still pink?" Paris asked. Romeo was so caught up in his grief that he didn't notice what he had said.
"Yes, still... pink..."
They stared at Juliet for a moment longer. Her color seemed to be coming back, and she was still warm.
"This is impossible," Paris said. Romeo seemed to be too shocked to say anything.
They both turned around when another loud whistle rang across the churchyard. They saw Friar Lawrence run up to them carrying a crowbar and torch.
"Romeo? Paris?" he asked, clearly confused beyond belief.
"Good Friar, whatever art thou doing here?" Romeo asked.
"I-I came here to... uh..." the Friar seemed at a loss for words. "I came here to break Juliet out of her tomb..."
"What? But she's dead!" Paris exclaimed. Just as he spoke, Juliet sat up behind him and cried "Romeo!"
In a flash, Romeo turned around and embraced his love.
"Juliet! How?" he asked her, pulling away and looking her in the eyes.
"The potion, remember?" she asked him, confusion twisting her delicate face.
"What potion? What's going on?" Romeo asked, looking at Paris, who shrugged.
"Well, perhaps now we can tell the Lord and Lady Capulet that their beloved daughter lives, and perhaps we can convince the Prince to allow Romeo back into Verona," Friar Lawrence said.
"Wait... Romeo, why did you kill Tybalt?" Paris asked, genuinely confused.
"He killed Mercutio," Romeo cried.
"Tell us exactly what happened. Perhaps the fair Friar is right," Juliet said. Romeo recounted that dark day in his life for them, averting his eyes and voice cracking.
"And your grief was not for your cousin?" Paris asked Juliet, who shook her head.
"No. It was for my Romeo, being forced to leave his home... and me," she said. She and Romeo embraced once again, leaving Paris and Friar Lawrence standing there awkwardly.
"Perhaps we should be going," the Friar suggested. Romeo and Paris both helped Juliet out of her death bed, which she kicked, saying she didn't wish to see it again for a long while.
They stayed out in the churchyard to plan their next move, and in result, cam eup with a brilliant plan.
Juliet and Paris returned to the house of Capulet, whilst Romeo and the Friar sneaked into the house of Montague.
Paris walked up to Juliet's parents (plus the weird nurse. We still need her.)
"My humble Lord and Lady, if I may ask, what did thine feud with those Montagues start?" he asked them.
"HOW DARE YOU MENTION THOSE NASTY MONTAGUES WITH THEIR DISHONORABLE SON!" Capulet said.
Paris flinched under his tone but held his own ground.
"I only wish to understand why we hate them," he said simply.
"They stole one of our cattle," said Capulet.
There was silence in the room as everyone comprehended the words that had just left their Lord's mouth.
"All of this hate, these street fights, and these deaths... are over a cow?" Paris repeated, having trouble believing his ears.
"Yes, of course," the Lord repeated.
Back with the Montagues, Friar Lawrence was having just as tough a time as Paris.
"They accused us of taking one of their cattle! As if we would want one of their filthy cows when we have plenty of our own fine-bred," said Lord Montague. Friar Lawrence blinked slowly, and Romeo, hiding away from his father (and the Prince, who just so happened to be chilling here at this time) facepalmed.
"Perhaps if you just explained this to Lord Capulet," the Friar suggested. Lord Montague just brushed him off.
"Nonsense. There is no point in explaining anything to them-"
"Their daughter just died and it's the wish of God," Lawrence quickly said.
"Well, that's a totally different thing. Let's go!" Exclaimed Montague.
Well, the two Lords met up, exchanged a few words, and chair may have been involved... but they settled the argument.
"Some numb, small-witted little twit traded the tags," said Capulet.
"Does this mean the war is over?" asked some random kid in the audience.
"Sure, why not?" shrugged Montague. He and Capulet shook hands, and the auideince cheered.
"Oh, but, there's one more thing," said Lawrence. He quickly explained his elaborate plan of Juliet faking her death so she run away with Romeo to them. They were angry at first, but Lawrence quickly told them that it had been the will of the Lord.
"Well, that's totally different," Capulet said. Friar Lawrence brought the two famous lovers forward to proclaim their love for each other in front of their parents.
Paris went on to find another love and have 5 kids. The guy who switched the cattle tage got hanged for starting a war, and Montague and Capulet met up for tea every Saturday. What of our star-crossed lovers?
They lived as happy as ever without any kids, because she's a FREAKING 13-YEAR-OLD, and Romeo respected her decision to not have kids.