The day she heard Sasuke came back to the village, Sakura caused an earthquake.

It was small, really, but the seismographs and jutsu that were planted strategically around the village to predict earthquakes were all set off.

The pink-haired girl hummed a small tune as she organized some files. The day had been busy with surgeries, and she was almost done with her shift at the hospital. In twenty minutes, Ino-pig would meet her at a local tea shop to chat (and gossip).

"SAKURAAA-CHANNNN!"

Sakura sighed. Naruto was here. And he'd probably forgotten where her office was.

'The blonde idiot's here? I thought he died a few years ago.'

'Shut up, Naruto can take care of himself, idiot or no. And where've you been? It's been months since you last mocked me or made a perverted comment.'

'What, missed me? And anyways, ever since you grew a backbone, you haven't needed me as much.'

She sighed again as Naruto yelled and Inner burst into tears and started to mutter about 'fledglings leaving the nest.' A headache was forming, and she pinched the bridge of her nose before shrieking, "SHUT UP!"

There was a peaceful silence, something that almost made Sakura weep like Lee, but then….

"SAKURA-CHAN?! IS THAT YOOOU?"

'How dare you! I raised you, protected your innocence from perverts like Kakashi-sensei, and shared my valuable advice and experiences!'

"UGH…." Sakura face-planted her head onto the table and stuck it there with chakra.

A blonde poked his head in the door. "Sakura-chan! I haven't seen you in fore- urk!"

There was a small thud in the hall way as Naruto crashed into the wall because of the tissue box- anything could become a weapon when it came to Sakura, her imagination, and chakra control.
'Yeah! You got him goood, baby!' Inner crowed.

And then she heard it.

"Hn. Annoying."

Her chakra flared, and even after four consecutive surgeries, it was enormous. Sakura turned around, and spoke in unison with Inner, eyes narrowed.

"Sasuke….."

"Hn?" The Uchiha was leaning slightly on the doorframe, hands in pockets, trying to recover his composure after the spike in killing intent and hearing his former fangirl speak with different voices at the same time. Naruto had been smart enough to hide underneath a table.

"Why are you here?" Each word was punctuated by a rise in chakra.

"I killed Itachi and I need to complete my second goal." His eyes were narrowed as if he was offended that Sakura would presume to think that she was worthy enough to talk to him.

Naruto stuck his head out from under the table. "Yeah, Sasuke, I think it's best if you don't tell her about tha- eep!" the plastic pen sunk into the tiled floor, and Sasuke raised his eyes, as he hadn't even seen her hand move.

"Hn. I'll do whatever I want, dobe." Naruto was too scared to reply. A few phrases of 'kami help me' and 'I'll even give up ramen' were muttered.

"Well? Tell me."

The 'fricking son of an asstard', to borrow one of Inner's many colorful phrases, and yes, that was one of the very few uncensored one's, grunted a stereotypical, 'hn', and said, "I want to revive the Uchiha clan, and Ino, Karin, and you will be my concubines. Whoever bears me the first son will become the matriarch." The last part was said as if it was a great honor.

Sakura gaped. For a moment, before she screamed and swung a table that was sheltering Naruto at him.

"YOU F****** UCHIHA! I will NOT be your BABYMAKER! You lost your chance five years ago!"

Sasuke dodged under the table with wide eyes as if he expected Sakura to smile and beg to have his son. He stood up, glanced at the wall the table crashed through a little too casually, and asked, "That's a no, then? Because your chakra control could be inherited by any childr-"

Sakura screamed with anger, and the true amount of her chakra exploded. Sasuke was kicked through a window and out of the hospital, and Naruto watched his best friend sail lifelessly into the forest. The pink-haired girl cracked her knuckles and jumped through the hole. When she landed, the amount of chakra she used to literally jump to where her former teammate's body actually caused an earthquake that all of the hospital residents and anyone within a few miles felt. Sakura screamed bloody murder again as she descended, and the gravity combined with chakra blasted every single tree in the forest to smithereens.

Tsunade watched from the Hokage tower, a proud little smile on her face.