This is a very silly, naughty little ficlet and I have no excuse, besides being unable to control my overactive, caffeine-fuelled imagination. Feedback/constructive criticism would make me a happy bunny if you have time, but please don't bother with flames. They're a waste of my time and yours; if you don't like what I write, just press the back button and move on with your life like I shall do.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, places, etc. etc. They all belong to those folks over at Capcom. I'm just borrowing them without permission so I can play with them some.
Nero sighed and closed the front door behind him. He was completely worn out after spending the day helping to rebuild the city. Those demons sure had made a big mess during the whole Saviour incident, and it didn't help that half the population of Fortuna had been killed or injured, leaving them with only a handful of people able to help. At this rate they'd never finish the job.
All he wanted right now was a hot bath and some TLC, but the city's main waterlines had been destroyed in the attack, meaning no running water and thus no bath. On top of that, Kyrie had left to stay with a friend in the next town, for an unspecified amount of time. She claimed she just needed time to deal with everything that had happened, but when Nero had offered to come with her she'd made some excuse about 'needing space' and hurried away. He was no expert at reading women, but to him that seemed to suggest she was having second thoughts about their relationship.
Frustrated, the young man collapsed onto the sofa.
"Tch, what's a guy gotta do around here to get a break?" he muttered to himself. Suddenly he felt restless and worked up, and he didn't know why. He fidgeted and tugged off his tattered coat, tossing it across the room and swearing when it missed the coat rack. Annoyed, he got up and began to pace up and down until he caught his foot on the coffee table, then he swore again and punched the wall.
"Damn it, what's wrong with me today?" He ran his fingers through his hair and took several deep breaths. "I should lie down for a while, maybe take a nap."
Nodding silently to himself, he strode into the bedroom. He'd just begun undressing when he came upon another problem: he had a hard on. He rubbed his nose and glanced around the room self-consciously.
"Heh... Well no one's around... and I got nothin' else to do. I guess it couldn't hurt..."
He struggled out of his jeans and pulled down his boxers clumsily, anxious to get it over with, then took his dick in hand and got to work. He was just getting into it, feeling the tension begin to leave his body, when suddenly he realised something wasn't right. He opened an eye and glanced down, only to find, to his horror, that without thinking he'd used his right hand. His demonic hand.
Panicking, he yanked the Devil Bringer off his manhood with a muffled cry. Or at least he would have, if the hand hadn't suddenly become very attached to his groin. Literally.
And then it began to glow.
...just like it had when it had absorbed the Anima Mercury, the Rusalka Corpse, the Sephirothic Fruit and the Aegis Shield...
The residents of Fortuna never did find the source of those terrible piercing screams that kept them awake that night. Nor did they ever discover where that young man who'd been helping with the repair work – the fellow with the strange arm – went, much to their puzzlement and annoyance.