For Your Information
A NejiTen fanfiction
By screwitall
Summary: In which Tenten forces Neji to be the man of her dreams and unwittingly has him fall completely head over heels in love with her.
A/N: For some reason, I find NejiTen way easier to write than SasuSaku. Maybe it's because Neji is more likely to burst into random OOC moments than Sasuke. OrTenten deserves her share of romance fics. Or maybe NejiTen is just so much fun to write on a cold, rainy night in bed and you're watching Naruto DVDs and in one omake involving Neji getting just a little jealous of Tenten and Lee getting more screen time than he does. That's what he said.
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Naruto.
"You."
Neji turned around to see a quite ferocious-looking Tenten, her hands on her hips and her lips puckered up into a pout. He raised an eyebrow, and knew perfectly well that Tenten would decode this as, Yes? May I help you?
"And don't give me that silent bullcrap," she spat, causing Neji to surprised.
Tenten holds great respect for Neji and for her to be talking to him like this is unusual and so uncharacteristic. Well. Two can play that game.
"Is there something I can do for you?" Neji said, his eyes narrowing into a squint.
See how bitchy Hyuuga Neji could be? The Akatsuki would be crying if they ever got slapped with this.
Tenten's expression darkened. "I'm in need of a boyfriend."
The two teenage ninjas stared at each other. Tenten still looked kind of pissed off while Neji just looked at her blankly. The female member of Team Gai started to get irritated by the second at her teammate's lack of reaction.
"Hello? Neji. Hey. Dude."
Neji grabbed Tenten's wrist. She had been waving her hand in front of his face for a while. He dropped her hand and breathed deeply. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Tenten's bitter mood evaporated and she grinned. "So you're listening, then! I need you to date me. We need to be something of, I dunno, an item."
Neji continued to stare at her. Well, for one, that was random. Second, since when did Tenten ever need a boyfriend? She's a man-lady. And third, what made her think Neji is boyfriend material?
"You're boyfriend material and I cancelled everyone else for various reasons," Tenten explained. "Naruto's got his eyes on Hinata and Sakura would kill me if I ever thought about fake-dating Sasuke."
Neji frowned at the mention of the two male members of Team 7. He had frequent urges to Kaiten Naruto to the other side of the world for even thinking about liking his cousin (which would lead to dating which would lead to kissing which would lead to even more dating and more kissing which would lead to marriage. Either that or heartbreak. Neji couldn't decide which is worse. He'd rather run to the nearest four-way intersection, tear out his brain stem and skip-rope with it than to see Hinata's wedding or her in a state of depression) and Sasuke is just off-limits. He's too cocky, too quiet and too prone to outbursts and brooding. Now, Neji liked silence and brooding in a corner as much as the next guy but come on. He's antisocial. Even Neji made an effort to make friends. The other guy had nada on his friends list.
"Kiba's okay but I'm allergic to dogs."
The Hyuuga smirked. He knew her enough to know that this was always Tenten's excuse if she was afraid of anything (because honestly, who's allergic to the dark?). Akamaru was gentle and nice enough but his sheer size could be intimidating. Neji also knew that Tenten was traumatized with having pets around ever since she accidentally stabbed a runaway parrot when she was performing her jutsu.
"I hate bugs," Tenten bluntly said before involuntarily shuddering.
It didn't take a genius to know this was why she didn't think twice about Shino.
"Then Shikamaru's seeing Shiho. Or Temari. Or Ino. Or that library girl. Or his mom."
Tenten laughed at her joke then stopped when she noticed Neji made a move to leave while she was distracted.
"Oi! I'm not done!" she hollered, walking up to him. "Chouji's not interested in a relationship and I couldn't find Lee. I was looking for Kakashi-sensei then I saw you and I said, 'why not?' so...here we are."
It seemed like she was waiting for his response. He was still mulling over the fact that she went through every male in the entire Konoha 12 but then decided to skip him and went for the senseis immediately. It took him around a minute to get over before finally asking, "For what exactly?"
Tenten was a little stunned at this. Neji guessed he was the only one from her list to ask this.
"Well, my mom and dad sat me down last night. They had a...talk with me," the weapons mistress visibly cringed at the memory. "They were all serious. I thought someone in the family died or we'd move out of Konoha or something like that. They said they're sorry that I was brought up like this, for whatever it is that made me be like that. They were crying, Neji, and I was nervous. I knew it was something about me."
Neji listened intently. It was probably a serious family matter. He should be a good friend and be there for her. He was thankful for the company she offered these years and for understanding him. Now it's his turn to be the rock. Yet he still didn't understand what that had to do with having a boyfriend.
"The sermon lasted for half an hour when my mom took my hands and broke it to me. I couldn't believe it! I stormed outside and got to our training grounds and I just screamed. Of all the unbelievable, stupid things!" Tenten hissed.
She was fuming and Neji let her vent. But then what was the problem? He isn't one to pry but he was dying to know. A divorce? A secret kept from her for a period of time?
"What's the problem?" Neji blurted out, unable to contain it.
God, he sounded like a gossiping housewife! Whatever, Neji thought. It's done.
"They think I'm...I'm..." Tenten looked away, biting her lower lip.
Pregnant? A prostitute? A traitor of the village involved in its doom?
"They think I'm on the other side," Tenten said quickly, blushing.
"You're what?"
"You know...crooked."
Oh, for goodness' sakes, what in Davy Jones does that mean? Tenten looked fine. She didn't have a hunchback nor had a bending problem or anything. Neji raised his eyebrow again, trying to make her explain further.
"Jesus Christ! Neji, you incompetent fool, my parents think I'm a lesbian!" Tenten exploded, her face now very red from fury at Neji's lack of understanding and humiliation.
Oh. That explained her sour mood earlier. The prodigy let his mind wander to avoid dwelling on the topic. He managed to stop his own blush but he couldn't think of other things with Tenten currently twisting his finger. He could tell she was subconsciously doing it and he couldn't stop her because he was trying to be a good rock. A good rock in pain.
The girl let go of his finger and sighed once more. "I thought that if I had a boyfriend, maybe they'd stop pestering me for that outrageous lie. They're huge gossips and with their melodramatic sentiments, everyone would believe it and I will be destroyed."
She wore a mask of sorrow. The perfect face of defeat. Neji could see her parents aren't the only ones who were melodramatic.
"So I'm asking you as a friend, Neji-kun," she looked up at him with big, brown, glossy eyes. "Please help me."
Neji thought of backing away. Who replaced the proud Tenten with this pathetic, emotional, honorific-using stranger? Then again, she was determined to change the way her parents thought of her. Neji knew what he had to do. Inwardly he was already kicking himself senseless for this act of social suicide.
"Okay. I'd be your fake boyfriend," Neji said, closing his eyes.
"Oh, really?" Tenten squealed in delight and swiftly hugged him. "Thank you so much!"
Neji reopened his eyes and gave a small smile. He was a good person, after all. Besides how worse could it get?
"We don't have to do this forever. We'll 'date' for maybe two weeks...okay, maybe that's too soon. A month, perhaps. Then you're free!" Tenten said. "I just have to prove to them I'm capable of being in a relationship."
See? A month. That's not so bad. Nights out to dinner, minimum public displays of affection and deceiving a whole village. Of course, he wasn't exactly sure how Tenten planned this whole ordeal except how long she wished to keep this 'relationship' going.
"I really don't know what to do so I just resorted to this. I'm really sorry," his teammate apologetically said. "I know I'd be getting in your way with this stupid plan of mine."
"No, it's fine," Neji replied before he even knew what he was saying. "I'd be happy to help you. As a friend."
Tenten was surprised at this unusual show of sappiness from her stoic teammate. She recovered and smiled warmly at him. "Thank you."
This was interrupted by Lee. "Neji! Tenten! Here you are! Gai-sensei called for us."
"Oh, hey, Lee," Tenten greeted the spandex-wearing lad.
They walked to their training grounds, where most likely Gai would be doing his weird acrobatic moves he once told them were his warm-ups. It was horrible to watch and his two students who weren't his hugest fans would turn away until it was over. They walked in pleasant and almost reverent silence until Tenten spoke up.
"Lee, guess what?"
"What is it?"
Tenten grabbed Neji's hand and beamed at Lee. "Neji and I are dating!"
Lee gasped, his round eyes growing bigger. "Is it true, Neji?"
Tenten's glare screamed threats while Lee gaped at him.
"Aa."
"Oh, this is wonderful! Wait 'til Gai-sensei hears about it! EVERYONE, EVERYONE! THE PRECIOUS FLOWER OF THE DYNAMIC TEAM GAI AND THE BRIGHT GENIUS OF THE HYUUGA CLAN HAVE ENGAGED IN A YOUTHFUL RELATIONSHIP! HOW MAGNIFICENT!" Lee screamed on the streets.
To Tenten, this was good. The quicker it is to spread throughout Konoha, the better. To Neji, this was a nightmare. He wanted it as subtle as possible. But that won't be possible, would it? Everyone is starting to congratulate him. It's not like he announced his engagement or anything! The Konoha civilians are a sad, sad bunch of people.
"SAKURA-SAN! INO-SAN! COME HERE, QUICK!"
The two best friends approached Lee. Ino had been eating a bubblegum ice cream with marshmallows from a cup while Sakura licked her strawberry, cherry-topped frozen dessert from a cone.
Ino reached them first. "Yeah?"
"NEJI AND TENTEN ARE BATHING IN THE SPARKLES OF A GLORIUS MYSTERY!"
The blonde was open-mouthed in astonishment. "What?"
Sakura coughed. "Neji and Tenten are in love."
It registered to her the same moment Ino did. They burst out in a flurry of "Oh my God!"'s and "Holy crap!"'s and "That lucky bitch better be serious or I will mutilate her!"'s.
"Tenten!" Sakura gasped, ignoring the pink drops dripping from her cone into her hand. "You're a girlfriend!"
Tenten merely smiled at the younger kunoichi. "Yes, I am."
Ino, however, turned her attention to Neji, who was slowly considering killing Lee.
"You. Take care of Tenten. Don't hurt her or I will grind your bones to make my bread. You hear me? Make her happy, Hyuuga," she warned, glaring at him with her baby blue eyes.
For a moment there, he actually thought she was gonna say, "Bring her back home by ten." He fought the urge to roll his eyes and say, "Yes, mother." It was a gargantuan effort.
After Sakura had warned him and Ino had sucked all information from Tenten, the two merrily skipped away, undoubtedly heading for Ichiraku where most of their friends are. Team Gai resumed their walk to the training grounds. Lee was proclaiming 'THE YOUTHFUL MESSAGE' the whole way there.
Tenten leaned closer to Neji and whispered, "I owe you a lot."
Oh, she bet her ass she did.
A/N: How was it? Oh, God, I hope I could actually finish this. I've abandoned A Little Dose of That, hadn't I? I'm sorry ): I appreciate your reviews. Hell I do. I love you guys :D SO HOW WAS IT? 8D Review please :) I also quoted one squid and one giant :D