It was a flashback. She willed herself to believe it only a memory, a vivid dream. Anything but the reality.
The green eyes that fluttered shut so delicately. The emotionless face that lay across her lap where once there had been smiles, and laughter. Stories told. All of it was gone. An unwelcome change, blood on her hands. Not a flashback. Not a bad dream. Not Ben. Alec. Just like last time, her body shook, her eyes brimming with tears not of a soldier, but someone broken by loss. Overcome by a grief larger than themselves. She could not handle it the last time. That broken look in his eyes before they'd closed. The fear behind his last, weak smile. That was a brother, but Alec was so much more. They were the same, in death, but in life, their differences loomed and shadowed over their genetic identities. What was the same in appearance, was never the same in attitude, in demeanor. In the way they might choose to smile at a particular moment. A grin, a smirk. Warm, or flirty.
Now, not smiling. His lips, unmoving, but his eyelids twitching, long eyelashes far too heavy to be lifted any longer. His breath, shallow, the torrent of sticky, transgenic blood flooding out and leaving him pale, unable to carry on. There had been no way to stop it. No quick fix, no way to retrieve that many bullets, sew so many wounds up again. No hospital or transgenic team could save him. It was over. She sobbed, unable to control it any further. Bad things always tended to happen, but this was perhaps the worst. Her life thus far could not measure up to this pain, not at all. He was her one and only. Second in command, pain-in-the-ass, best friend in private and lover in secret. Alec. Before now, she might never have told a soul, but she loved him. As friend, as confidante, as man. She loved him for all that he was worth, and all that he did to her soul. She loved that soulful look he got in his eyes when he was thinking, that far-off glaze that descended over a sea of green and gold. She loved the way he tucked her under his arm while he was sleeping, how he was warm, and firm, breathing against her barcode, deep in slumber.
His eyelids stopped twitching, his breathing slowed. No purring now, no curling her hair around his fingers. Nothing. She heard his heart thud, thud.. stop, and signal the very end. He was gone. His smart-ass comments were never to be heard again, and he was just.. gone. A part of her died too, her eyes closing over as she held him to her body, covering herself in his blood but simply without care. He couldn't be gone. She wasn't supposed to lose him. He was Alec. He was invincible. He wasn't meant to go like this, if ever. No, never. He was never supposed to leave her. Max sobbed, oblivious to the sea of faces that swarmed around them, their own eyes touched by moisture for the loss of a great leader and friend. Slowly, Max opened deep, sad brown eyes, watching the lifeless body of a blond X5 she'd grown to love as she leaned much closer, pressed full lips against his hair, dampened from her tears.
"I love you, you jerk."