Skipper rubbed his eyes and hopped down from his bunk, smirking at the serene faces of his teammates. The sun was up already, but Skipper didn't scream at his team to get up. It was Sunday, the day the zoo was closed, and Skipper usually let the commando-like group relax for a few hours before training commenced.

Kowalski was mumbling something about Newton's laws, making odd motions with his flippers. Another bunk down, Rico was cackling maniacally in his sleep, occasionally making 'BOOM!' noises. On the third bunk, well, Skipper didn't even need to check. He knew Private was-

Wait! Private wasn't in his bunk! Skipper shook his head. No. Private never woke up earlier than Skipper. He couldn't have gone anywhere during the nighttime, either. Skipper had set up an elaborate intruder alarm system that ensured nobody could get in - or out - while Skipper was asleep.

"Private!" Skipper called out sharply. "Where are you, soldier?"

No answer. Kowalski continued muttering in his sleep and Rico stopped laughing and started to mewl.

"Hoover Dam, maybe I'm hallucinating!" Skipper slapped himself across the face. He looked over at Private's bunk, but there was still no sign of the young penguin.

"Private, this is borderline insubordination! If you don't stop this silly prank of yours-"

"GAH! SWEET NEWTON'S THIRD LAW!"

"GE' OFF MEH, 'WALSKI!"

"Wha-?"

Skipper spun around and ducked into his combat position, ready to fight something. To his dismay, it was only his subordinates, Kowalski and Rico. From the looks of it, Kowalski had tumbled off his bunk and knocked Rico onto the floor with him. The two sleepy penguins lay in a black-and-white pile, groaning in pain.

"Men, we've got a problem," Skipper began, not even bothering to remark on his team's lack of professionalism. "Private isn't here."

Kowalski stood up and brushed himself off. "Well, it is Sunday, so there's nothing wrong with a bit of an extrusion. Maybe there's some Lunacorns convention he's gone to."

Rico, still laying on his belly, grunted in agreement. "Oo muh Oonacohns."

"Well, if that were the case, wouldn't Private tell us about it? He isn't the kind to keep a secret for long," Skipper said.

Kowalski looked uneasy for a moment. "Well, sir, Private knows how much you despise Lunacorns. Maybe he didn't want to aggravate you and went off by himself?"

Skipper laughed. "No way! I know Private like I know my coffee mug. He's calming, serene, and is never unpredictable."

"Well, we'll wait for him, I suppose he'll be back by lunchtime."

"I just hope young Private is doing alright by himself. Are you sure we shouldn't check outside? Mybe he went to the lemurs, or to see Marlene."

"Sir, I'm positive Private will return before sundown, at the very latest. If not, then I suggest we panic," said Kowalski reasonably.

Skipper nodded in resignation. "You're right."

Sundown came and went.

The Penguins panicked.

First it was Kowalski, after their silent lunch. "Sir, I suggest we skip training today and look for Private."

Skipper was hesitant at best, but did a quick sweep of the zoo with his men and found nothing.

"No sign of Private. It's like he just up and disappeared."

"No, Kowalski, that's where you're wrong. Private will come back soon." Skipper's eyes turned ice-cold. "And in the event that we lose one of our men, I don't want this unit going soft. We will resume our missions promptly."

Later, when Marlene came over, Rico freaked.

"Hey guys! Is Private around? I wanted to show him something."

"You see, Private has been absent from HQ ever since we all woke up. Ahem. But of course, this is all classified info, Marlene."

"Wait, Private's missing? Where'd he go?"

"Shhh! Not so loud, Marlene! Ringtail might hear!"

"But what if something's happened to him?"

"Ee's kay."

"What makes you so sure? Private isn't as commando as the rest of you guys! What if he gets lost? Or hurt?"

"SAID EE'S KAY! SAID EE'S KAY!"

"What's wrong with Rico...?"

"Marlene, we'll search for Private tomorrow. When Rico gets like his, he needs a little bit of coaxing."

"Kowalski, stop flirting with the lady and help me get Rico down!"

As Skipper lay in his bunk, drifting to sleep, he allowed his mind to wander. He imagined the worst possible things that could happen to Private. He steeled himself against them. Any sign of weakness, anything that could possibly waver his resolve, they were all accounted for. The sharpest blades, the most profound amount of blood, the most bloodcurdling screams.

As prepared as he wanted to be, he woke from his self-inflicted nightmare covered in a sheen of sweat.

Private's case was odd, for sure. Skipper's sharpened military senses hadn't picked up on any noise during the night. Private- or his captor- would have had to maintain complete silence while dodging hidden security measures. Private could never do that.

There were only two people with Skipper while he was setting up security at penguin HQ. Niether of them were supposed to be alive, but Skipper knew that they were crafty beyond belief. They were the ones who had helped him escape Denmark, after all.

"Hah! So we kill a few penguins on a mission and they replace us with a kid? How old is 'e, anyway? Six?"

"Johnson, nothing good will come out of you staying. Central headquarters has requested that you two leave, and it is in my best intrest that I obey their orders," replied Skipper grimly.

"Coward! You're nothin' without us, ain't that right Manfredi?"

"Yeah, Johnson! 'E's a big coward! Hidin' behind Central and actin' like their word is always truth!"

Skipper clenched his fist. "Rico, take Private inside."

"Darn, big boy! You plannin' on hurtin' us?"

"No, Johnson. I won't go against my superiors' orders. But I will ask you once more to leave or we will have jurisdiction to hurt you."

"Fine, fine, we'll leave, Skipper. Have fun with your war-torn chick!"

"Your beloved superiors probably never thought to mention that the little penguin you got to replace BOTH of us has shell-shock."

"Manfredi!"

Skipper leaped off the ground and tackled his former friend.

"The poor thing can barely stand the sight of a gun! How the Hell do ya think he'll replace us, Skipper?"

"Skipper!" Kowalski's voice cut through the violence. "Just got orders from Central. Change of plans. They want Manfredi and Johnson in Antarctica. Alive."

"Kowalski- options."

"We'll kick their butts into next week!"

"Now you're speaking my language!"

The "butt kicking" went well, and the job was finished quickly. It was almost as if the murderous duo wanted to be captured. Rico had tied the penguins up they were shipped to Antarctica. The three thought the ordeal was over, until they found a note under Skipper's pillow.

"we dont like your new baby skipper

you know what happens to things we dont like

dont you?"

Skipper woke up and let out a sharp breath. A few bunks above him, he could hear Kowalski groan.

"Nightmare, sir?"

Skipper smiled in spite of himself. "Go back to sleep, soldier."

"I can't say I've slept soundly, either. Private would never leave by himself. If he did, he'd come back soon,"he mumbled sleepily.

"Well, Kowalski. I have a hunch I want to explore tomorrow."

Kowalski quickly sat up. "I can access Database files immediately if you want me to, sir."

Skipper sighed. "No, that won't be needed tonight. You need your rest."

"As do you, Skipper. I bid you goodnight."

Am I a horrible leader? Why isn't there a Central-organized search party checking the world for my Private?

Because one casualty is enough. Nobody else should get hurt because of my mistakes. Not even if that means sacrificing Private.

Oh. Well, hello there. I usually write Pokemon fics, but decided it would be a great time to shove my way into the comparitively sleepy POM fandom! I expected to see, like, three people on this side of fanfiction, but there are so many good authors here, like GearSolidSnake, Aquade, ForThoseWhoLikeToMoveItMoveIt, thewriterstory, and many, many more!

I'd like to review and see if I can fix any OOC-ness and mistakes. I probably messed something up related to continuity as well, so please help a noob out!