"Grunkle Stan, tell me again, why are all the kids coming over here?" Mabel asked, setting a board game onto the table. Her brother stood nearby, dusting off a shelf of shrunken heads.
"Because," Stan answered, setting out a small plate of drinks. "The town has a game night for the kids once a week, and this week is my turn to host it."
"And you're actually doing it?" Dipper added, moving from the shrunken heads to the dinosaur skull. Stan shrugged.
"At best, it'll bring business and keep you two busy." The doorbell echoed through the living room. "They're here. Mabel, try not to weird everyone out."
"No promises!" she said, smiling and saluting cheerfully.
"And Dipper, be fun for once." Dipper sighed and set the duster on the table, grabbing a soda and sitting on the rug. Mabel watched him and looked at Stan.
"I think that's the best answer you'll get out of him," she determined. Stan shrugged and walked out of the living room, leaving Mabel to run to the door.
"Hi! Welcome to-" she stopped upon seeing Pacifica Northwest standing at her door. She frowned and slammed the door.
Dipper looked up at her. "What was that?" She waved it off.
"Oh, nothing."
"Hello? Mabel! Let me in already!" Pacifica's voice came through the door. Dipper frowned at his sister.
"I don't want her here!" Mabel protested, crossing her arms. Dipper rolled his eyes.
"I don't want her here as much as you do, but it's free for allthe kids and we're obligated to let her stay."
"Um, hello?! I can hear you!" Mabel sighed and pulled open the door. Pacifica smirked and flipped her blond hair over her shoulder.
"It's about time! Now come on, let's get this stupid night over with." Mabel rolled her eyes and looked at the door to see her other guests.
To her surprise, Candy and Grenda stood outside, beaming and holding a bucket of popcorn. Mabel grinned.
"Candy! Grenda!" She yelled, pulling her friends into the shack, "I can't believe you guys came!"
"Why wouldn't we?" Candy asked, sticking her fork-taped hand into the bucket. Pulling out a few pieces, she offered one to Mabel, who took it happily.
"This is awesome! Nothing can make this bad again!"
"Hello, my fellow children!" Mabel looked from behind Grenda and gasped. Gideon stood in the doorway, smiling cheerfully as if he weren't a complete psycho.
"AHHHHH! DIPPER!"
"Ugh, what Mabel? I was relaxi-GAH!" Dipper suddenly paused and cleared his throat. "Uh, Gideon? What are you doing here?"
"You little freak," Mabel muttered under her breath. Dipper nudged her with his elbow and tried to stifle a laugh.
Gideon smiled uncomfortably. "Listen, I know I've done some harsh things-"
"Almost cutting my tongue out comes to mind," Dipper added. Behind him, Candy winced.
"Well, I wanted to make up for that, and really try to get to know y'all." Dipper and Mabel stared at him. Gideon sighed. "That wasn't believable, was it?"
"Nope," Mabel said, shaking her head.
"Alright, alright. My dad dropped me off here thinking that I could use some…um, what's the word?"
"Company?" Mabel tried.
"Rehab?" Dipper suggested blatantly. Mabel punched him.
"Naw, that's not it…what was it?! Oh yeah, fr-fr, ugh, I can't even say it."
"Friends?!"The twins said in disgusted unison. Mabel looked at the floor.
"Oh, all right. But try anything and that bat," she threatened, pointing at a baseball bat in the corner, "Is going down your throat. Clear?" Gideon gulped and smiled nervously.
"Crystal," he whimpered, joining the others in the living room. Dipper and Mabel followed reluctantly.
"Jeez Mabel, wasn't that a little harsh?" She shrugged.
"No pain, no game." Dipper rolled his eyes.
"That makes no sense." Mabel smiled.
"And you expected me to? You're slipping brother," she said, poking him playfully. He laughed and sat back on the rug.
Pacifica sat next to him, texting furiously. He gave her a puzzled look and, as if she sensed it, looked up. She sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Fine. I'll give it up. But if my friends don't hear from me, I blame it on you." He shrugged.
"Don't worry, my conscience won't ache at night due to that." She sneered at him as he laughed and watched Mabel dump a pile of board games in the center of the circle the kids had formed. Everyone stared at them as if they'd come from another planet.
"Really?" Pacifica asked, picking up a game with the ends of her fingers, like it was dipped in radioactive waste.
"What?" Mabel asked innocently.
"Mabel," Grenda said, "We've played all of these games before." Candy nodded.
"Something else, please?" Gideon studied the pile.
"I think I own like seven of those."
"I think I own eight," Pacifica replied. Mabel looked almost hurt. The former nudged Dipper.
"What?"
"Do something! If she starts crying, this won't even have a chance of being almost fun." Dipper pressed his palm against his forehead.
"Okay, um, Mabel? Can we try to find a game that's sort of new to us?" She looked at him.
"Okay!" she said, suddenly cheerful. "I think I saw a different one up in our room!"
She dashed up to the attic, throwing open the trap door. Looking around for a second, she smiled and ducked onto the floor. Mabel peeked under her bed.
"I know it's here somewhere," she muttered. "What happened to-aha! Here it is!" Mabel pulled a dusty old cardboard box out.
She blew on it lightly, and a cloud of dust flew into her face. Mabel coughed and ran her hand against the game's surface.
"Hmm, Myth Wars.Sounds like fun!"
"Mabel!" Dipper called. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing! I just found the game!"
"Then come onalready!" Pacifica's voice added. "Are we just going to sit here and wait for my nails to chip?!" Mabel rolled her eyes and headed back downstairs.
"Okay guys," she announced, kicking aside the other games and dropping hers in the middle of their circle. "Who's ready for game night?!"
Dipper smiled at his sister as she sat down on his other side. He flipped open the game lid, making more dust come up. Everyone coughed. He waved away some dust and pulled out the instructions.
Opening the little book, he was surprised to see that it folded out into a pamphlet that stretched up to Gideon…who was sitting across the circle from him. Everyone groaned.
"Ugggh," Pacifica complained, "I'm allergicto instructions!" To top it off, she sneezed. Dipper laughed lightly.
"Okay, should we read them and learn how to play, or toss 'em and learn as we go?"
"SECOND OPTION! SECOND OPTION!" Mabel screamed. Dipper held his ears until she stopped.
"Okay, okay!" He smiled deviously. "Okay, who wants to bet that it makes it into the lemonade?"
"I'll bet you five bucks that you can't do it," Gideon offered.
"Without looking!" Grenda added. Candy nodded and giggled, shoveling popcorn into her mouth.
"With a backwards throw," Pacifica said, pulling out her wallet. Dipper smiled.
"I'll take that bet!" He laughed as Mabel tied a cloth around his head. "Okay, you ready?"
"YEAH!" Dipper tossed it behind him. It sailed over them and landed directly in the lemonade pitcher.
"WHOO!" Dipper smiled and pulled off the blindfold, turning around to see his results. With a smug look, he held out his hand, allowing Gideon, Grenda, and Pacifica to laugh and pay him.
"Nice throw," Pacifica managed, giving him a little smirk. Dipper was almost able to smile at her.
"Alright everybody," Mabel said, lifting the board out of the box, "Let's get this game night started!"
Everyone reached into the box and grabbed a game piece. "Sweet!" Mabel said excitedly, holding up a little silver-colored yarn ball.
Dipper looked at his small magnifying glass.
"I have glasses!" Candy added, showing off her piece.
"Is this scaring anybody else?" Gideon asked, holding up his little metal tie.
"Um, right here!" Pacifica replied. Dipper glanced over at hers. Huh, that fits. It's a mirror.
"Alright, alright. Leave the strangely-fitting game pieces alone guys. Let's actually playthe game!" Dipper said, stacking the cards.
"Okay," he said. "Who gets the first turn?" Everyone's hand shot up. Dipper sighed and put his hand over his eyes.
"Eenie, meenie, miney, you," he chanted, pointing at a random person. Please don't let it be her, please don't let it be her!
He opened his eyes reluctantly. To his relief, he'd pointed at Candy. He smiled at her.
"Okay Candy, go ahead and go." She looked a little confused, but she placed her piece on the board and rolled the die.
"Seven? Is that possible?" Dipper blinked.
"I have no idea." Pacifica groaned.
"Just go already!" she commanded, filing her nails. "But let me go next!" Dipper rolled his eyes as Candy shrank away from the board.
"It's okay Candy, you can still move the piece," he reassured her. That's weird. Normal die don't go up to seven. Is this game even normal?
Hesitantly, she moved her piece across the board. Dipper glanced down at her position. "Okay, so it looks like, wait, where are you?"
"Here." He jumped, not realizing that she had moved across the circle and sat next to him.
"Whoa!" Mabel said, smiling brightly. "How'd you do that?!" Candy shrugged.
"But no one saw you move, did they?" The others shook their heads. Dipper shrugged and looked back at the game.
"Okay Candy," Mabel said cheerfully, "It looks like you have to pull a card from the deck!" She pulled one card up and stared at it, looking puzzled.
"Um… it says, 'Harpies carry you off and place you in custody. Lose a Turn.'." Everyone was stunned.
"What kind of game isthis?" Pacifica asked. "Harpies? What the heck are those?"
"Hey everybody, calm down," Dipper said, pulling a card. "I bet it's just a bad card. See! This one says…what?"
"What's it say Dipper?!" Mabel asked. He looked a little uncomfortable.
"It…um, says…" Pacifica groaned and snatched it out of his hand.
"Just let me read it!" she cleared her throat and gave the card an unimpressed look. "Hmm, 'You have been tried as a witch and placed into custody.' What's with this game and jailing people?!"
Suddenly, Candy moaned. Everyone looked at her.
"Everything okay?" Dipper asked. She groaned and held her stomach.
"Pain…pain is not good," she mumbled.
"Say wha?"
"Is that normal behavior?" Gideon asked, pointing to her. Pacifica held her head and ears, as if she'd heard some bad feedback from a microphone.
"AGGHH!" she groaned, looking pained. "Bad things…bad things are going on in my head!" Mabel scooted a little closer to her brother.
"Dipper…" she mumbled, sounding wary.
"Wait, where's Candy?!" Grenda yelled. They looked around. Without moving, their friend had disappeared.
"Where's Pacifica?!" Gideon asked, looking around nervously. "Is this normal for game night?!"
"Guys?!" a small voice said. It sounded like it had come from under the floorboards. Grenda looked around frantically.
"Candy?! Where are you?"
"Um, HELLO?! NO ONE CARES WHAT HAPPENED TO THE RICH GIRL?!" another one yelled.
"No!" Dipper yelled instinctively. He paused. "Wait, where'd that come from?"
"How do we even know it was Pacifica?" Mabel asked.
"I'M DOWN HERE, MY MOST INTELLIGENT PEERS!"
"Yep, that's her." Dipper said, looking at the carpet. "But where- OH MY GOD!" His face morphed into a look of pure horror and he backed away from the game board.
"WHAT?! What's going on?!" his sister asked, holding her hands over her head protectively.
"P-P-Pa…" he muttered weakly.
"Pacifica?" Grenda asked, tilting her head slightly.
"G-g-game…" Dipper pointed weakly at the game board. The others looked down at the colorful piece of cardboard.
"I don't see any-" Mabel began, her eyes widening. A miniature Pacifica stood on top of a silver mirror, the toy about as wide as her feet. Candy stood nearby, trying to balance on her pair of glasses.
"G-game…" Dipper tried again, but Mabel and the others beat him to it.
"GAME PIECE!" they yelled in unison. Dipper suddenly found his voice.
"Hey, that's what I was going to say!" he said, joining the others in leaning over the game board.
"CAN SOMEONE HELP ME OUT HERE INSTEAD OF SHOVING YOUR FACES IN MY LINE OF VISION?!" Pacifica yelled. Mabel pouted.
"Can we keep her that way and lock her in a drawer?"
"I'm down for that," her twin agreed. Dipper shook his head. "No, that'd be mean. We'd forget about her and she'd die. Do you wanna be tried for murder?"
Mabel took another look at Pacifica and shrugged. Dipper decided to ignore it and focus on Candy.
"Are you hurt?" She looked down at herself.
"Stomach pain has stopped, but tiny size is not much better," she determined.
"What do you think caused this?" Mabel asked worriedly, picking up Candy and balancing her in her palm. Grenda simply stared at the board game, taking a card from the deck.
Dipper thought quietly, while Grenda examined the card.
"It says, 'Enemy dragons have torched your home and taken you into custody,'" she read. "Man, this game sure likes to take away your players."
Suddenly, Grenda moaned and held her stomach. Mabel almost dropped Candy as the two watched their friend disappear into silvery wisps of mist.
"GAH!" Mabel screamed, this time really dropping Candy.
"AHHH!" she screamed. "Mmph!" Dipper had reached out and caught her, setting her back onto the board. He studied her carefully.
"Have those been on your feet the whole time?" he asked, pointing at her glasses-shaped game piece. She looked down at them and shrugged.
Dipper waved it off, and turned toward his sister, who was frozen in shock.
"Okay, new rule: no picking up our tiny friends."
"Grenda…" she said softly, pointing at the game board. Dipper gasped.
Standing on top of a small metallic lizard was her other best friend. She waved her arms frantically. "Hey guys! I'm so tiny! Check it out, I'm standing on a lizard!"
The little Pacifica laughed. "Hey look, for once Grenda doesn't sound like a wrestler!" Everyone shot her a glare.
"Hey, you don't sound so normal yourself!" Mabel yelled defensively. Dipper laughed.
"Yeah, you sound like a chipmunk who's been hitting too much helium!" The other game piece kids laughed. Suddenly Dipper stopped.
"Wait, where's Gideon?" Everyone automatically looked at the game board.
"I'm here!" he called, stepping out of the gift shop. Dipper looked at him.
"What were you doing?" He shrugged.
"The whole 'kids shrinking after reading game cards' thing was kind of creeping me out."
"So you went to the gift shop?"
"I shop when I'm nervous!" he said, defensively crossing his arms. Dipper ignored him and stared at the game board.
"Wait, Gideon, say that again."
"I shop when I'm nervous?"
"No, the thing about being creeped out."
"Oh, the 'kids turning into game pieces after reading cards thing'. Now I get what you're saying." Dipper smiled lightly.
"That's it! That's why you're turning into game pieces! I bet you all we need to do is find a good card, and they'll switch back!" Mabel gave him a braces-filled smile.
She lifted a chunk of cards off the deck and spread them on the carpet. Gideon sat down on the carpet, picking one up warily.
The picked through the pile, trying to find a good card. For some reason, every card ended up with them taken into confinement.
"Anything yet?" Dipper asked, flinging a card behind him. He didn't see it fly into the lemonade with the instruction manual.
Mabel shook her head. "All mine says is, 'Thugs for the enemy have brought you down. Go straight to custody.'" Dipper's eyes widened.
"Mabel, NO!" She gasped and held her sides. Quickly, she dissolved into the mist. Dipper and Gideon watched the game board as she reappeared, standing on her small yarn ball.
"Aw man, I read the card out loud, didn't I?"
Gideon nodded as Dipper slapped his palm against his forehead and took a deep breath. "Okay, okay. It's just you and me now. We have to find a positive card, and quickly." Gideon groaned and picked up the die.
Tossing it idly, he watched it land on the seven. Suddenly, Pacifica's piece lurched forward, landing on a bright yellow patch.
"Whoa! Hey, watch it up there!" she scolded. Gideon studied the patch she'd landed on. She glared up at him. "Quit checkin' me out, you little freak!" He blinked.
"Challenge…accepted?" he read. She looked at her feet.
"Wait, WHAT?!" Suddenly, the patch under her crumbled. She screamed. "Someone help me!" Mabel glanced at her.
"Should I?" Dipper glared at her. Pacifica was gripping the sides of the board as it gave way to a pit that glowed orange at the bottom. He had a horrible feeling that there was something worse than a magic game waiting for her.
"I can't be tried for murder," he chanted, holding his head, "I can't be tried for murder!" He grabbed a card off the deck, and before anyone could stop him, read it aloud. In seconds, he was standing on his metal magnifying glass.
"GIDEON!" he ordered, "Roll a seven!" He glanced at the opening in the game. It had expanded, and it slowly approached the spot where his sister stood. She screamed. Dipper's eyes widened. "Now!"
"How do I know you'll be the one to move?!" Dipper thought for a second. He heard another scream, and he watched Candy teeter into the void, gripping the cardboard sides.
Wait a sec, that's it!"Gideon! Candy went first, and Pacifica wanted to go second. I call going third!" he announced.
Gideon rolled the die. It landed on a four. Dipper lurched forward. He looked down at the writing for the patch he was standing on. The void was stretching to the other side of the board, where Grenda stood on her lizard.
"Uh, Dipper?" she called. "Please tell me you can stop this!"
"I'm working on it!" he promised.
"Dipper!" Pacifica's voice yelled. "Have you forgotten about me?!"
"Not to be rude, but we are not in ideal situation!" Candy called.
"Okay, it says I get another turn! Gideon, roll again!" He threw the die, and it landed on a two. Luckily for Dipper, it took him only up to the edge of the void. He bent over as well as he could without falling, and reached out to Candy. Pacifica dangled under her.
"I gotcha!" he assured her, grabbing her hand. Pacifica grabbed Candy's foot. "Whoa!" An orange mist curled up out of the void, and the mere presence of it heated up the entire pit.
Dipper teetered at the edge, and he could almost swear that he heard Mabel tell Gideon to roll again. Suddenly, she was at his side, holding his other arm back.
"Don't worry," she said, trying to be cheerful, "Everything's all rainbows and glitter from here!"
"What if you don't want rainbows and glitter?!" Pacifica asked.
"I don't know, deal with it?!"
"But why rainbows and glitter?"
"I likerainbows and glitter!"
"Um, excuse me," Candy I intervened. "But can we get saved now?" Dipper pulled slightly, and the girls inched up the side of the pit.
Mabel grabbed him, picked him up, and scooted backward.
"Two questions: one, how are you doing that, and second: why are you able to pick me up?" She shrugged and threw him back onto the game board, pulling the girls up with him.
"Whoa!" they yelled as they fell, sprawling onto the board in all directions. "How were you able to move backward?" Dipper asked.
"I guess the game pieces in this game can move backward without commands. They suddenly heard a distant yell.
The void was slowly inching its way toward Grenda. She hopped backward away from it, finally tripping and landing on the STARTline.
"She's only a few spaces away!" Mabel yelled happily.
"And the void's stopped growing!" Dipper pointed out. They all glanced at it. Sure enough, it had stopped, but the hot orange mist was still rising. An echoing hiss circled the kids. Even Gideon looked wary.
"That's not natural." He randomly tossed the die. It landed on the five. "All players, advance! Rendezvous at the START point!" Immediately, the four near the pit were flung backward, narrowly avoiding crashing. They were all righted, so they all stood up straight.
"Is that even possible?!" Mabel screamed up at him. He shrugged.
"I don't know! I panicked!" The mist made a strange breathing sound, as if it were laughing.
"Foolish player, you've given up a valuable secret that can be used against you in our little game," a voice whispered. The mist thickened, and glowing orange limbs formed until the kids were looking at an orange woman, cloaked in sunset robes.
"Hello." she said calmly. Her yellow eyes focused on Gideon. "Are you ready to play?" He gulped and looked behind him.
"Are you talking to me?" She smiled.
"Yes dear boy…you arethe player of this game, right?"
"Uh…" he watched as she looked down at the board, which had miraculously healed, looking the way it had before: an almost normal, homicidal, custody-obsessed children's game to play with the whole family.
"Ah!" she continued. "And I see you've already set out your prisoners! Wonderful! Now, let's start, shall we?"
"Wait a second, what kind of game is this?" She blinked, as if she were surprised.
"Well, I would think that you knew! No matter, I shall explain the rules to you once again!" She glanced around the room and gasped. "What is my instruction manual doing in a jar of…er, what is that human drink again?"
Gideon glanced at it, and then back to her. "It, um, adds flavor! Yeah, that's it. So, um…ma'am, what were you saying before?"
"Oh, yes, silly me, I forgot. Now then, as I was saying, you'll need to know the rules." She waved her hand and the instructions flew out of the jar, drying instantaneously.
A pair of reading glasses appeared, perching onto the woman's nose.
"Ah, yes, here they are. The basic rules of the game are to rescue your pawns, er, pieces, as you humans call them, from their prison. You are allowed to have one free so that you are to play the game against the Keeper." Gideon blinked.
"The Keeper?" She smiled proudly.
"Yes, yes, that's me! I am the Keeper of Games. Oh, I've been around for ages, you know. Not to brag or anything, but I'm kind of unbeatable." To Gideon, her cheerful smile didn't really seem to take the edge off the fact that she was telling him he was destined to lose.
"Okay, sooo," he said, prying her for a further explanation. She sighed.
"Don't you humans ever know anything?! Choose your pawn boy, and we'll begin!"
"What happens if I win?"
"Well, naturally, if you manage to win, which is highly unlikely I should add, your pawns are all freed, and they return to human form. If you lose, however, you're friends are made immortal; game pieces to be mine to play forever."
Gideon gulped and pulled on his collar. "Uh, alright then, let's play." She smiled coldly, as if imagining how well his friends would look in her piece gallery.
"Choose your pawn, boy."
"I, um, pick…" he looked down at his miniature friends. Dipper waved his hands frantically.
"Dude, pick me! I've figured out this game; I can help you get the others!"
"No, pick me!" Pacifica yelled. "I need to get out of here!"Gideon rolled his eyes and pointed at Dipper. He lurched forward.
The others were suddenly surrounded in a yellow glow. The Keeper smiled. "Perfect. Pawns have been chosen, and it's time to play."
"Wait, aren't you playing?" She shook her head.
"Sadly, this is a one-player game. However, I will stay on the side of the board, and watch you as you advance. Good fortune, young player."
With that, the Keeper waved her hand, and the die flew into Gideon's hand. "Your turn."