Timothy McGee froze when he caught sight of a familiar face headed his way. He knew that his eyes had probably widened comically, but he was too dumbfounded to actually care.
"Hey, Probie!" Tony DiNozzo clapped him on the shoulder as he walked up. "Having fun here in the land of geeks?"
The best response McGee could come up with was a blank stare.
Tony raised an eyebrow. "Problem?"
"What the hell are you doing here?" McGee finally managed to choke out.
Shrugging, Tony glanced around. "What?" he asked. "I can't like comic books?"
McGee felt his shock slowly begin to fade; it was turning into something that he suspected was much more closely akin to aggravation. "Based on past experience, I'm going to have to go with 'no'."
"I'll have you know that I'm a big fan of Batman," Tony protested, the teasing grin on his face not helping dissuade McGee's doubts in the least bit. "Not to mention the X-Men, Superman, Spider-Man, Catgirl . . ."
"Catwoman," McGee cut in, reaching up to rub his temple. "And I'm sure you don't understand why, but I rest my case. What's her name?"
A flash of surprise appeared on Tony's face for a second, but it was quickly replaced with a look of obviously feigned innocence. McGee thought it made him look like Sylvester just before one of Tweety's yellow feathers drifted from his mouth and earned him a smack from Granny. "Whose name?"
McGee sighed. "Whoever it is that you're trying to impress," he said tiredly. "Tony, come on, the closest you've come to reading any type of comic book is when you took that blonde to see Spider-Man 2 and they used images from some of the comics to make up the Marvel logo for a whole five seconds."
"Tina was a redhead, not a blonde!" Tony protested.
All McGee did in reply was raise an eyebrow.
After a few seconds, Tony dropped the innocent look. "Okay," he said, rolling his eyes, "let's say that I am trying to impress someone."
"Which would explain why someone who knows absolutely nothing about comic books would show up to a comic book convention," McGee said dryly.
Tony glared at him, and McGee almost took a step back out of instinct. It was nowhere near as strong as Gibb's, but it was impressive nonetheless. He quickly held up his hands as a sign of surrender.
"What do you need?" McGee asked with a sigh, giving in to the inevitable. He knew from past experience that he was going to get dragged into Tony's plan eventually anyway; he might as well be involved from the start.
"Just some advice," Tony said lightly, flinging his arm over McGee's shoulder. "I'm trying to figure out what this person would like."
Rolling his eyes, McGee ducked out from under Tony's arm. "Keep that up," he grumbled, "and people definitely won't think that you're here to impress a woman. You have no idea what runs through the minds of some of these people."
Tony stared at him blankly for a second. Then his gaze drifted somewhat to the left, where he'd apparently found something more interesting to stare at than McGee.
Not sure he wanted to know, McGee followed Tony's line of sight. A group of girls were standing nearby, looking at some Doctor Who action figures that were set up. He doubted any of them were legal.
"Does the word 'jailbait' mean anything to you?" McGee asked, elbowing Tony in the stomach. "I don't want to think about explaining to Gibbs why you were arrested."
Tony grunted. He glanced over at McGee, rolling his eyes. "Why do I get the feeling that I don't want to know what the brunette's shirt means?"
Frowning, McGee glanced back at the girls. He choked when he saw her "Got Slash?" shirt, barely keeping himself from laughing as he glanced back at Tony. Not trusting himself to say anything without cracking up, he simply shook his head.
"I'm surrounded by geeks," Tony muttered, faking a shudder.
"Hey, it was your idea," McGee said after a few seconds, his voice still a little unsteady even though he was holding back his laughter. "Speaking of which, how did you find this place?"
Tony winked, his expression going back to normal. "I followed you."
McGee stared at him for a moment, not sure if Tony was joking or being serious. He finally decided that ignorance was bliss and pushed the thought from his mind. "You wanted my opinion on what to get your latest conquest, right?" he asked, shaking his head to clear the cobwebs.
Tony hesitated just a second before nodding. "Close enough."
"Uh-huh," McGee said, sighing. "Okay, give me some details."
"Details?" Tony repeated blankly.
McGee raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, details. If I'm going to help you figure out what to get, I need to know a little bit about this mystery person."
Tony hesitated. It was only for a second, barely noticeable, but McGee picked up on it instantly. "Well, this person's a bit of a geek."
"Yeah, I kind of figured." McGee waved his hand about, gesturing toward the people milling about around them. "That much is kinda a given."
Chuckling, Tony shook his head. "Good point." He looked off into the distance, as if he was trying to remember something. "Let's see, they're a writer."
"You mean, she," McGee corrected him automatically.
Tony raised an eyebrow.
"They is plural," McGee explained patiently. "So unless you're talking about multiple women, then . . ." His voice trailed off for a second. "You're not, are you?"
Rolling his eyes, Tony reached out and lightly punched him in the arm. "Get your mind out of the gutter, will you?"
McGee shot him an amused look. "Look who's talking."
"Yeah, yeah." Tony waved his hand in McGee's general direction. "Geek, writer, and spends a scary amount of time on the computer. What else do you need to know?"
Biting back a retort that he knew would get him hit again, McGee grinning. "You know," he said thoughtfully, speaking clearly for emphasis, "it sounds almost as if you're describing me. Is there something you'd like to tell me, DiNozzo?"
Tony froze. He stared at McGee for a second, an unreadable expression on his face, before he started to smile. It was so obviously fake that it almost hurt just to look at it. "Never mind," he said. "This was a bad idea."
Without saying another word, he turned and started walking away. McGee didn't move, a completely dumbfounded expression making its way onto his face. He stared at Tony's back as the man walked off, replaying what had just happened in his mind. Had Tony . . . ? No, that was impossible. It was DiNozzo, for heaven's sake. There was no possible way that Tony could have been flirting with him. Not a chance.
Tony didn't look back as he made his way through the throng of fans. His shoulders were still hunched over, like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He looked almost . . . forlorn. Not that McGee would ever admit to even thinking that word as a description for Tony.
"Okay, I'm officially an idiot," McGee muttered. He stood immobile a few seconds, remembering dozens - maybe even hundreds - of incidents that he hadn't thought twice about at the time. Suddenly, they made a lot more sense.
He reached up and smacked himself on the back of the head. A few people around him raised their eyebrows, and out of the corner of his eye he saw some guy with blue hair and enough piercings and tattoos to give Abby an inadequacy complex step away from him with a worried expression. Ignoring them all, he started pushing his way through the crowd in the direction that Tony had headed.
"DiNozzo!" McGee called. "Tony, wait up!"
Tony glanced back over his shoulder, a surprised look on his face. As he met McGee's eyes, a slow grin spread across his face.
