One typical day on the planet of Mobius, or Earth, or Planet Freedom, or wherever the chilidog this story takes place, Sonic was lying on a hill starring straight into the sun. Sonic was a world renown hero always beating Eggman's fat ass down before anyone else did, but you already know that because why else would you spend your time looking up Sonic fan fictions, probably the same reason I'm writing this. Anyway in his free time Sonic enjoyed going fast, eating chilidogs and Pizza Hut pizza, and lying around doing nothing but looking at the sun. This was most likely the reason Sonic was nearly blind, but if anyone questioned him on what he did he would reply by saying, "you're too slow in the head to understand". This was very hypocritical since Sonic himself never used his mind, he doesn't think, he just goes.
While Sonic was burning his pupils off, Bokkun the stupid messenger guy form that lame ass anime: Sonic X, showed up coming down from the sky with his little jetpack, shouting like a dumbass.
"Hey Sonic, guess what, my boss has a message for you!" Bokkun screamed at the top of his lungs landing next to Sonic. Sonic didn't reply but continued to stare into the fiery star. "Sonic I have a message for you," Bokkun repeated much quieter than before. Sonic still didn't answer as drool began to leak down the side of his mouth, onto the beautiful green grass below. Bokkun stood there silently for about ten minutes, until he decided to take his message TV and lobbed it at Sonic. The TV smashed Sonic in the gut, who let out a yelp, and then sat up rubbing his quills.
"Huh, Pizza Hut?" Sonic murmured looking over to see Bokkun standing there with a gigantic trollish smile on his face. Sonic got up letting the TV fall to the ground and fastly stumbled over to the stupid messenger bot. He then proceeded to poke Bokkun, making him loose his balance, and trip back, falling down the hill, until he landed at the bottom in an explosion for no apparent reason. Sonic stared at the sun for a second again, until he proceeded over to the TV and tapped the "play" button.
"Well hello there Sonic, I hope you're enjoying your current freedom, because you're about to lose it. This time Sonic I will finally win for realsies, which means I'll kill you and take control of the whole planet, and then construct Eggmanland. At Eggmanland I will sell overpriced food, merchandise, and other lame things that are all complete utter bull shit. And if you don't believe me Sonic, than it is your loss because after being patient for once, and having Snively do all of the dirty work, I have all of the Chaos Emeralds in my control. So Sonic do you think you can defeat me, well you shouldn't, but you should still come and fight me since I'm lonely otherwise. Also would you please destroy Bokkun, he's such a clingy fag, anyway goodbye for now, ho ho hooo!" Dr. Eggman laughed as the prerecorded message ended. Sonic tossed the TV over the edge just as it self-destructed, leaving Sonic to stare back at the sun again.
"Whelp it looks like Eggman is being a dick as usual," Sonic smirked to himself as he usually did, since he was addicted to being a smartass douche. Sonic then proceeded to do some stretches, waisting about five minutes before he informed, "Remember kids always do stretches before you run real fast, otherwise you might pull a muscle or something else." The Blue Blur then blasted off setting the grass behind him on fire, once again being a hypocrite since he was destroying wildlife, when he was supposed to be protecting it.