As I feel the cold tissue-like mask on my face, i shivered. "I could never be Edward's lover," I said to myself. A thought came to me. His hand over my hand. I had the same reaction. I shivered. His hand was cold and damp. Its as if it has been soaked in water for too long. I remember the way he looked at me. The pain almost destroyed his perfect face. I just had to look away. He can't be with me. It's a fact. No need to think over on that one. I shook my head. This is going way too far. I shouldn't have told him the truth. i should've have lied. But then again, it's almost unbearable to stay away. to just gaze at him in a distance. The attraction is much too strong. It almost tears away my heart. Bitter tears ran down my cheeks. "I can't be his life. Not now. Not ever."
"Why?" his voice pained. Full of sadness and fear. He, too, doesn't want to know. His fingers lingered on my cheek, burning me slowly. I clenched my jaw. " Don't do this please. It's hard enough to resist myself. Don't make it anymore difficult for me."He put down his hand and faced forward. i could see anger in his eyes, but his lips twitched into a smile. Not a happy one. "Don't take this the wrong way Iris. im not asking you to give your life to me! Just answer the damn question."I looked away. Outside the car rain is falling. Slowly and quietly. As if the sky is crying. Don't give up on me now! I touched his hand. Gently, carefully afraid that he wont respond. His hand stayed idle. I inhaled deeply and hoped that the next words that will come out of my mouth wont cost me my life. Here it goes.
"Edward," pronouncing his name before was difficult. Almost like an unwanted task. But things are different now. "Do you really think this is a good idea?" I faced him. Forcing myself not to let my tears betray me. Not this time. He cocked his head side wards. I could see his fist gripping the steering wheel. I continued. " Don't you think I know what you see every time you look at me and smile that crooked smile of yours? Alice has already told me everything - " shoot. I slipped. I can't bring Alice to this too. But i guess that's already too late. " - That I asked her. Please bear with me this time. I can't take her place anymore." my voice cracked. I buried my face in my hands. I let the tears fall this time. not caring if he find this disturbing. I shook my head once more. I have to get away from here. Away from him and away from this dreaded curse I let myself into. This has got to stop. I gripped the door handle ready to get out of the car when he stopped me. I just know all too well what he's going to say.
"Stay?"
Stay. That is all he had to say to make me freeze on my seat. i looked back at him. that was maybe my biggest mistake. His eyes, those golden eyes of his that mesmerizes me every time I stare at them too long. Those eyes of his that looked at me with so much longing that I cannot refuse any demand he gives. Those same eyes stared back at me and made me remember why I was even here beside him. The reason for this all mess I've found myself in. in his eyes I saw... me.
I saw a little girl, six years of age with her plain brown hair tied up in a red ribbon. She was wearing her best dress with ruffles and a lovely white lace was tied at the back of her waist. i could hear constant sobbing. Holding the little girl's hand was a woman. Her eyeliners running at her face but that wasn't a problem. Her husband just died. A heart attack, like what they've always predicted. The girl was too young to comprehend that totality of her lost. She was only six. A child. Nothing more than just a child. I looked away from his gaze. The memory is just too much to bear. To see her again. My mother. To see her cry for someone I never knew.
"Edward," I whispered. Still avoiding his gaze. He let go of my arm. Slowly. With his head lowered down he asked, "Will you still go? and leave me? Would - no wait." he let out a huge sigh. a long period of silence lengthened our conversation. in a fraction of a second, the atmosphere changed. His head snapped up in an instant. a deep rumbling in his chest immersed. my sad expression changed. "What is it?" I asked in a hurry. There is only one person, or rather being that would make Edward let out a deep growl.
"Its her."