Alice is one of my favorite characters, and I've always wanted to do something funny with her shopping and stuff. So I was sitting in bed last night, and I thought of Alice loving shopping and how she loved fashion. That's when I grabbed my notebook and started writing. I thought I'd turn it into a fanfic, so here it is! One adventure at a time. Haha! Enjoy!

Fashion. It's a thing of beauty. It's something that requires you to go places—like the Forks Western Mall. Now I am a constant shopper—always on the go. So it's only natural that whenever I go to the mall that I always experience something different. I've had funny experiences, sad experiences, happy experiences and many other experiences that I'd liked to share with you. And this experience that you're about to read I just had to write down.

Chapter 1

Shopping with Rosalie

So after some hard core convincing, I finally managed to get Rosalie to shop with me because I knew that the next shopping trip I was about to go on would be a disaster—a funny disaster. So when she answered yes, I danced around the house and flounced up the stairs to fetch my purse full of money—the shopping and bribing money. Next I slipped on a cute outfit with a short little black dress and pink leggings underneath to match my pink bracelet, necklace and earrings. Lastly I waltzed down the stairs to where Rosalie was impatiently waiting for me, her arms crossed and eyes scrunched into a devilish scowl.

"Sorry, Rose!" I chirped, and she rolled her eyes.

"Why are you so cheerful? We're just going to the mall."

"I know, but I'm so excited you're coming with me. Jasper usually comes, and he puts no heart into it."

"Because I don't like it," Jasper cut in, loping down the stairs and sliding one of his arms around my waist. He pinched me close to him and then planted a soft kiss on my forehead, smiling his cute Jazzy smile that always made me want to cuddle him.

"I'm sowwy," I replied, pouting.

Jasper laughed and draped his arms over me in a tight hug.

"Shopping with her can't be that bad…can it?" Rosalie asked, the anxiety sewing her eyebrows together and causing her lip to bend into a frown.

"I'm just thankful it's not me for once. Something weird always happens," Jasper replied.

"Something weird?"

"Yeah, like last time while Alice went into Victoria's Secret, I was supposed to stay outside and then some people posing as gangsters walked up to me and started dancing. Then they made me dance, and they started screaming that I got served or something. And when Alice walked out of Victoria's Secret, they were like, 'Give us our money, fool!'"

I had to pretend to cough just to not laugh, because the way Jazzy was impersonating the gangsters was just too priceless. If I had a camera with me, I would gladly record this moment, then put it away and say, "Thank you, Kodak!" Just like I did when Jasper was dancing and getting "served". I was so proud of that moment that I titled the video "Jasper, the Dance Instructor", and then put it on youtube. Whaddya know—it had a million hits on youtube!

"And then somebody put it on youtube," Jasper finished.

"On youtube?" Rosalie's eyebrows went up.

"Yep! Youtube! Tragic, isn't it? Poor Jazzy!" I said innocently, grabbing a hold of Jasper and tugging him into another hug. "Welp, we've got to go. The mall awaits!"

"Have fun. Oh, and Rose, if you'd like to go shopping with Alice from now on, you can. Nobody's stopping you," Jasper put in, and then gave me a final hug before he disappeared.

"To my Porsche!" I sang, and skipped out of the house with a very pale—well, paler—Rosalie following from behind me, her pace subdued and dragging.

Once Rosalie and I were secured in my Porsche, I blasted out of the garage with my foot almost permanently on the pedal, humming a small, tinkling little tune under my breath. Rosalie didn't say a word, but instead her eyes swept over the road as we drove over it, her nails tapping delicately along the car door, ready to open it and jump out to safety.

When we arrived at the mall, I swung my body out of the car and snatched my purse, making a model walk for the entrance as Rosalie followed quite quietly from behind me. Apparently she had nothing to say, and instead of shaking her butt as she walked, her feet were actually drawn back into timid, tiny steps, as if she knew what was going to happen today.

"Which store do you want to go to first?" I asked, pulling out the map of the mall I conveniently carried.

"Um, Kay Jewelers," Rosalie answered, her eyes narrowing and clutching her purse close to her as she took one steady glance around the area, probably expecting gangsters to come stomping toward her.

I kept my snickering low as I glided along the tile, hoping not to trigger Rosalie's suspicion towards me being the one that had pranked Jasper at his most recent journey to the mall.

When we arrived at Kay Jewelers, I sighed and pretended as if I was bored with the jewelry displayed, and then my eyes caught sight of Kohl's.

"Hey, Rose, I'm going to go into Kohl's for a bit. I'll be right back," I said assuringly, and once again Rosalie's eyes fearfully looked around for the gangsters.

I skipped over to Kohl's and disappeared behind one of their walls, digging into my purse and looking around for anyone to bribe. When I saw a little boy struggle at his mother's side, my lips drew into a satisfied smile, and I pulled out twenty dollars.

"Jeffrey, just sit down!" the mother cried, and began to sift through the clothes on the clothing rack.

The boy, named Jeffery, mumbled under his breath and sat down on the ground, looking torn.

That's when I made my move.

I crawled along the floor to get to him, and when I finally reached him, I smiled and greeted him brightly, his eyes going wide.

"Hi, I'm Alice, and I need a little favor," I said, smiling and holding up the twenty.

His eyes went back and forth between the money and my face.

"With this you can get games or toys or whatever you want. I just need you to do me a favor in order to get it. Can you do that?"

Jeffrey nodded.

"Great! Now let me show you your mission…"

We both stood up, and I led him out of the store, pointing out the Kay Jewelers store and paranoid Rosalie, who was gazing through a clear display with a diamond necklace inside.

"First, put this on," I instructed, pulling a small gorilla suit from purse and handing it to Jeffrey. He slid it on over his clothes and waited patiently for instructions—what an obedient little boy.

"Now, you see that woman over there?" I pointed out Rosalie once again. "There are some things I want you to do to her…" I whispered in his ear what he needed to do, and he nodded, trotting toward the store and making loud gorilla noises.

Instinctively, I pulled out the camera and watched from the perfect angle, smiling.

Jeffrey, in his realistic gorilla suit, pounced on Rosalie's leg and yelped loudly. Rosalie screamed, startled, and began shaking her leg. She got him off in an instant, but when she did, she spun to glare at him and lock her teeth.

"Geez, kid, what's your—" She froze, her eyes spotting the gorilla suit. "What the—"

"Mommy!" Jeffrey cried, and swung his little gorilla leg into Rosalie's shin. Now, I made sure that there was something inside the gorilla legs to really do damage—like hard steel or metal. I made sure those were securely made in the legs and feet of the gorilla, but I honestly had no idea how that little boy could drag his legs and walk with the metal being in there.

Rosalie crouched down and held her leg, cussing under her breath. "What the hell is your—"

"Mommy, did you get another boob job?" Jeffrey screamed, and everyone in the store stopped what they were doing and looked at the two.

Rosalie tried replacing the anger with a smile, but it was clearly a mask over what she felt, and the anger broke through with the sharpness of her tone. "Come on, honey, no yelling in the store," Rosalie said with gritted teeth, playing along with Jeffrey's act.

"Stranger danger! Stranger danger!" Jeffrey screamed, and then an old woman that was in the store marched up to Rosalie and swung her purse against her. Then many other women did the same, all smacking Rosalie.

Okay, I hadn't planned that.

I made sure I was getting all of this on camera and smirked proudly to myself.

"I'm innocent!" Rosalie cried, still being attacked by the limitless purses. "He hit me first!"

"She did get a boob job!" someone exclaimed loudly, and Rosalie groaned, running out of the store.

When little gorilla Jeffrey returned to me with his hand held out, that was when I stopped the recording and exploded in laughter.

"Here ya go, kid. Thanks for helping," I said, handing Jeffrey the money he had earned. "Oh, and you can keep the costume." I waved goodbye to Jeffrey and then trotted over to Kohl's to pretend like I was exiting. That was when Rosalie snatched my wrist and yanked me recklessly, her grip firm and nails practically ripping open my flesh.

"What's wrong, Rose?" I asked innocently, sounding startled.

"Never again," Rosalie said, sounding haunted as she led me out of the mall.

As we drove home, she kept mumbling to herself the same words, "Gorilla, boob job, purses. Gorilla, boob job, purses." And that's when I saw how shaken she really was.

I bit my bottom lip to hide my smile, and when we got home, Rosalie launched out of the car and bolted into the house, her body trembling.

I followed after her, and as we went through the front door, Jasper and Emmett caught sight of us—the shaken Rosalie and the smiling Alice.

"Is everything okay?" Jasper asked after a silence.

"Gorilla, boob job, purses," Rosalie answered back, shuddering.

Emmett raised an eyebrow at the boob job part she had mentioned. "Another one?"

"That's what he said!" Rosalie cried.

Emmett stared at her and then smirked, looking completely goofy and hindered with laughs. "No, that's what she said."

Rosalie gritted her teeth and threw her purse on the table, floating up the stairs and cussing every two seconds.

I laughed once again and then danced up the stairs with my chin held high. There was only one thing left to do.

I logged into youtube.

That's the end! Chapter 2 is coming soon! I'll think of some more ideas! If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, just mail me! Disclaimer/Claimer time!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything affiliated with Twilight. Everything concerning Twilight such as the characters and the plot all belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Claimer: I do, however, own the little boy Jeffrey. Hehe! Cute, obedient little kid.