Chapter 1: Prologue

It had been ten years.

Ten years had gone by since the last time he had stared into that pair of warm crimson eyes. Had they really been crimson, or violet? Or just another tone of brown, one that hadn't been discovered? He couldn't distinguish the exact color of his eyes within the blur of his memories. All he knew for sure was that those eyes had always brought him some amount of warmth. From the moment he saw him for the first time when they were twelve, to the moment when he had to say goodbye due to his own fears, they had always looked at him with warmth- and love. A love that he had rejected and pushed away, time after time, but that he now was ready to accept.

How long had it taken him to come to these terms? Ten years.

It had taken him ten long years to get rid of the pile of emotions that overflowed him. Hatred, resentment, fear, and underneath those three, sadness. Now that he thinks about it thoroughly, he had been so full of the last one, above the rest. Sadness. How sappy had it sounded before? How many times had he made fun of those who experienced it? And it wasn't that being sad was sappy itself, or that he didn't feel for those who experienced it. No- he knew that sadness was real- just as real as love was. He had always been conscious of this fact. But sadness and love had been signs of one own weakness- and he wanted to be strong, stronger than anyone else.

Push these feelings away. Hide them on the chest along with all those emotions that tie you to the past, and put a lock to them. Don't sigh for anyone else. Don't let your pain seep through. Don't lower your defenses. If you do, bad spirits will take control of you and you will be lost.

And with the words from the old woman who had saved him in mind, Nezumi would hide underneath the facade he had created and struggle for his survival every day. And although it hadn't been simple at first- to detach himself from the warmth of others- he grew better at it the longer he lived in his own.

It had taken him years, but he had managed to create a wall around his feelings. A wall so strong and tall he thought nobody would have the power to destroy. Don't get attached to anyone. See only for yourself. This way, sadness and hurt won't reach you again.

But now that he thinks about it, how full of sadness had he been? And how full of love? Shamefully full of them. He had been sad- without realizing or acknowledging it- for a long, long time. But love... Love was an emotion that he had taught him. And he hated it. He hated those emotions back at that time. They made him feel weak and vulnerable and if he lost himself to those emotions, he feared that he would hurt again.

It was a mistake to save him, after all. He has managed to destroy your wall, the one that took you years to create, in just a few months. And now, without protection, you are at risk of getting hurt again.

I'm scared. I'm so scared. Shion, what are you?

Fear.That was another emotion that he had been so full of. Fear of everything, and everyone- includinghim.God- sometimes he was even afraid of himself. Every time he thought of putting his trust on someone, his fear would surface and tell him not to. And just like this, he had lost his faith in humanity. It was either friend or enemy. Actually, it was always the latter.

We will be enemies one day, Shion.

He blamed the city even now. The city had been the cause to everything. It had been the reason why those emotions- hatred, resentment, fear and sadness- controlled him in the past. The reason why he had to create those walls in the first place. That horrendous place had taken everything away from him and deep inside, he knew that the resentment would always reside. But time had passed and those emotions that consumed him before were slowly coming under control. Not disappearing completely, just under control.

It had taken him a long while to get where he was- to be able to take hold of his own emotions. But he had done it and he finally felt ready. He was ready to give it an end to this page of his story. This part that was full of hate, resentment, fear and well, sadness. He was ready to write a new page. One in which he could be happy beside the person that he loved, Shion.

Shion.

He missed him. God, he missed him so much. He thought that he would be fine without the other and for most part, he was. He had been traveling the world. Doing what he so much wanted. Finding himself and the secrets of the universe. For once, he was free. Free of everything that tied him to his painful past, and everyone who had the power to hurt him. But, for some reason, he always ended in the same place at the end of the day. He kept coming back to that pair of warm eyes and that head of white hair.

At first, he had managed to cope just fine. He could even go days without thinking about Shion. He had a thousand other things to worry about like- where to spend the night, what to eat, how to survive in unknown territory- to waste time thinking about someone who he had decided to leave behind. But when he had settled and his life had been overcome by routine, the longing had returned. And this longing increased every day, becoming a sweet but painful torment. Until he woke up one morning with only one thought; returning. Back to that city he so much loathed, back to that person he so much adored. And just like that, without thinking twice, he had started his journey back home. Back to Shion, just like he had promised him.

He didn't know what to expect of their reunion. For all he knew, Shion could've already forgotten about him and moved on. It wouldn't surprise him considering that it had been ten years since they had seen each other. And the last time he had been with the other, he had left him in tears. He couldn't even blame the other if he were to hate him. Even though the thought that Shion had gotten over him filled him with fear, he knew that there was no turning back. Whether Shion wanted him back or not, it no longer mattered. He wanted to see him again and that's all there was to it. That's right. Just to see him one more time.

He was also curious about what the shorter man had accomplished for the city. He had heard so many things about him. Amazing things, actually. Apparently, Shion had managed to built the city into a better place. It wasn't an utopia, but it was a place where everyone was happy, or so they said. He wanted to see it himself, the person Shion had become and the things he had done for his people.

Shion was a famous figure worldwide- or at least in the part of the world that was left. His picture was in every newspaper and magazine even in No.2- the city in which he had been living for the past four years. He was well known for his role as the new president and leader of the city. Shion was now a ruler, for the love of god. Of course he had to be known.

When the news of No.6's new president had spread the first time, he had felt apprehensive, even afraid. But as time passed, and more news of him and what he had done with the city were published, he started to be flooded with relief. He knew how much Shion wanted everyone to be happy, and he was sure that the city couldn't rest in better hands. Nevertheless, the fact that Shion had gone from being a criminal to being an important figure was intimidating. How had he managed?

What if he already has someone? What if he doesn't accept you anymore? What if you don't have a home to return to? No- it doesn't matter, as long as you get to see him one more time. Nezumi shook his head furiously to get rid of these thoughts. Shion loved you. He loved you with all his heart. Even if he doesn't love you anymore, he wouldn't turn his back on you. That much I'm sure of. He kept repeating to himself, trying to regain his confidence.

And this is the reason why love was such a scary emotion, he thought.Love makes you weak and dependable on another person. Was this how Shion felt back then before you decided to leave him? He gave you his heart, and you didn't accept it,he thought to himself, feeling his heart sting at the memory of two teary eyes. Fool. What a fool the two of you were. Him for not seeing how selfish you were, and you for not seeing how much you were hurting him.

Letting out a sigh, he stared out of the window. He had been traveling for days. A month to be exact. Even though he had been able to afford to travel on an airplane, he had chosen to travel by earth. He had known that this meant a ton of stops and wasting double the money going from a ship to a bus, but he had thought it would give him time to sort out his thoughts before arriving. He had been wrong. It had been an entire month of traveling and he still didn't know what to say to Shion when he saw him. He had taken a ship, two buses and rested in several hotels, and still nothing.

From the window of the bus, he could already see the entrance of the city. Even though the walls were gone, there was still a huge sign that read "Welcome to No.6" in huge bright letters that changed to all the colors of the rainbow. He chuckled to himself as he wondered whose idea that had been. Probably Shion's. All ridiculous ideas were his. Shaking his head, he leaned back in his seat and sighed again.

It was late in the night or too early in the morning, he couldn't tell. What he was sure of was that Shion was probably sleeping at this time. Even if he wasn't, he was sure that it would be hard to find him. It had been ten years and he didn't expect him to live in the same place. Now that he was a president, he couldn't imagine him living in such a small place. Either way, it was futile to worry himself about it at this hour. He would have to find somewhere to sleep for the night, and tomorrow, he would start looking for him. With a thumbing heart, Nezumi closed his eyes and decided to sleep for the rest of the ride.

Letting out a sigh, the white haired boy sank into the warmth of the water. Letting his head roll back, he stared at the ceiling and sighed again. Sigh, sigh, and sigh. How many times had he done that in the past ten hours? He couldn't recall. If he was honest, he didn't even know what was with him and sighing lately. Wake up, sigh. Eat breakfast, sigh. At the conference, sigh. Before going to sleep, sigh again. Sigh, sigh, and sigh. He didn't even know why he was doing it anymore. It wasn't as if there was something troubling him nor that he felt abnormally tired. In the contrary, things had been running smoothly and he had been resting more than usual. After ten years of working constantly for the city, there weren't many things left to take care of. Most of the things he had on the to-do list were already done- and it's not like he had much work to do in the first place. He mostly only listened to people talk and signed papers. The rest, the hard work, was done by others, not him. Then why was he sighing so much lately?

Was sighing a sign of aging? Now that he remembered, his 26th birthday was in a few months from today. This thought made him sigh yet again. See? Always sighing...And it wasn't like he hated aging or was afraid of growing old- when you have a head full of white hair and a thousand responsibilities in your hands, what is there to be afraid of? What he hated, however, were the memories that the day delivered him, without mistake.

It had been years since he had sworn to himself to forget, and to move on, and he had been doing just that. However, when that day rolled, memories flood him. It was as if his deceased hope came to life only during that day, making him believe that a certain person would appear in his window, like he had done when they were twelve. And for that reason, he would leave it open only to be met with the same thing the next morning; nothing. He wasn't returning, and he had already accepted it. But at least during that day.. He wouldn't think about him for the rest of the year.. but that day, only in that day, he would allow himself to hope.. Just that day,he had promised.

Even though it was painful to recognize it, Nezumi's departure had left a huge void inside of him. One that he hadn't been able to fill. He had been alright, at first. His hope had maintained him happy. That promise had been enough to keep him going and gave him a purpose. He wanted to fix the city, make it a better place; a place where Nezumi felt safe. And with that purpose in mind, he worked his way up to the position he was right now so that when Nezumi returned, he could make him proud. He kept telling himself that Nezumi would return one day. He had made a promise to him, and he would fulfill it. No matter how everyone kept telling him otherwise, his faith in the other remained unchangeable. And he thought that it would stay like that forever. But as days turned into months and months into years, that faith began to shake and he started to question the other's honesty.

He made you a promise, and Nezumi is the kind to fulfill his promises. His eyes reflected honesty and were gentle as he looked at you the last time you saw him. But then again... Nezumi had broken his promises to you on multiple occasions and he was well known for his acting- how can you be so sure that he wasn't lying to you back then? How can you be certain that he won't break this promise too?

Nezumi is cruel and heartless. Nezumi is a demon. Don't trust him or you'll get hurt.

How many times had they told him that about the other? How many times had they warned him? And yet, he had chosen to blindly believe in the other. Even with these questions, he continued to believe in the other and ignored his own doubts. Until that night four years ago...

It had been four years of faithful waiting when his mother, Karan had been diagnosed with a kidney failure. In the past, No.6 had been well known for its advancement in technology and medicine, but after Elyuria's punishment, the city had lost many of those resources. And even though they had managed to recover many of those resources, what his mother needed was a kidney transplant and it hadn't been easy to find one. The waiting list was incredibly long now that there was no one to get rid of the sick, and there weren't many kidney donors. Even though he was the president and he could've gotten her the kidney sooner, his mother had asked him to let her wait like a normal person. I don't want anyone to suffer a little longer for my cause. Let's just be fair and wait a little longer, okay? She had told him with a compassionate expression. Although he had been proud about his mother's kindness, a side of him couldn't help but feel annoyed. How can you let yourself suffer like this to save others? I wonder if this is what Nezumi felt back then.

And the more he saw his mother suffer, the weaker his faith in Nezumi became. He tried not to think about it for the most part- not to think about Nezumi during those times, not to make his own burden become heavier. But sometimes, when the burden in his chest became too heavy, he wished that Nezumi was there to embrace him. If only he was with me, things would be so much bearable. Nezumi, where are you when I so much need you? He would cry himself to sleep with this thought in mind.

Time passed and as things became harder, he started to realize one thing. He was alone and he would always be alone. This became clearer when he found his face in the cover of a magazine. "Eugene, the rising star of No.2".That was the main issue's title, along with an image of Nezumi with flashy costume. He looked beautiful, like usual. He was surprised that he had kept his same hairstyle and that those eyes shone brightly even after the years. So this was what you've been doing? Eugene, huh? And that's when he finally accepted that Nezumi wouldn't come back to save him this time. He had saved him once but, he wasn't planning on doing it again. Perhaps, that had been the reason why he had fled from him in the first place. For all he knew, Nezumi had left because he didn't want to keep carrying the burden that was Shion. That had been his creed, after all. Don't get attached to anyone. Just care about yourself.

Yes- and maybe it was better in this way; better for Nezumi. He knew how much the other had suffered and now that he remembered him, he realized how broken Nezumi had been. He couldn't be selfish and want him to return to the pile of trouble that was himself. He couldn't tie him to the city that had taken everything away from him. And sometimes, he thought it had been better for him as well. The two of them had been so different. Like water and oil. Now that he digs deeper into it, he realizes that most of their shared memories had consisted of them arguing over their differences. Nezumi had been darkness, destruction, and hatred, while he had been the opposite. Maybe they weren't meant to be together, after all. One would be bound to get hurt, and he was sure that it would be him. And with those realizations came new resolutions. Promising himself that he would move on and forget, he continued with his life.

And he had managed to move on, but not to forget. The ghost of those silver eyes continued buried deep in his mind, tormenting him every once and then. He was content though. Now that his mother had gotten the transplant and had fully recovered, he could say that he was content with his life. Not happy, but satisfied. Things were going smoothly and he was proud of his life. He had everything he could ever want and yet...

Ring~

The muffled sound of his phone broke him from his train of thoughts, making him realize that it had been a while since he had entered the bathtub and that now the water had run cold. Shampooing his hair quickly and soaping his body, he started to wash himself to get out of the of the cold water.Ugh. He had filled the bathtub to relax, and now it had all gone to waste. And all because of him. Damn it, he had broken his own promise. He had thought about him.

After drying himself with a towel and dressing up, he entered his bedroom. It was the same bedroom that he had when he was twelve. He had moved back into this house five years ago to live on his own. Although he had disliked the idea when they had first advised him to move to a more "suitable" place, after discussing it with his mother through, they had decided that it was for the better. He was a president, after all. He couldn't continue living with the rest. Not because he was being arrogant, but for his own safety. Even though most citizens supported him and believed in his decisions, there were those who didn't. There was always those who weren't so happy with the new No.6 and that wanted to see him dead. Although nobody had yet dared to cause him harm, they didn't want to risk it.

As he dried his hair with a towel, he moved towards the desk that now laid in the middle of the bottom half of the room. Grabbing his phone carelessly with one hand, he continued drying his hair with the other while taking a glimpse at the book shelves that stood against the furthest wall. They contained some of the books that he had managed to save from their underground room before they started to rebuild West block, along with some other books he had attained. Reading had become one of his favorite hobbies when he had free time. He had also grown to love music. Singing and dancing, they helped him forget things. He had even learned how to play the piano.

In the old No.6, he hadn't been able to enjoy the arts. They had been prohibited to some extent. That was one of the first things he had changed when he had turned into the president. He wanted others to learn about these things, these things that made life all the more enjoyable. Music, acting, painting, writing, and even sports- they had opened the door to them. Students were encouraged to participate in these activities and if you had talent in one of these, you were encouraged to make use of it. At the same time, entertainment from other cities had been allowed inside. Stores had opened and the sales of books, Cds and movies had increased. New actors and singers had debuted in their city, and were slowly working their way to fame, gaining interest from other cities. Their city that used to be so dull and boring was slowly being colored to all colors. If only he could see all these progress, he would... No- it wouldn't change anything...

Shaking his head to get rid of unnecessary thoughts, Shion unlocked his phone and read the text message that he had received. It was from his adviser, Erina. Although she had first been his secretary, he had later given her the title of adviser. She was just very good at advising and guiding him when he needed help, as well as handling his schedule. Actually... she was more than that.

When Erina had confessed her undying love for him a year ago, he hadn't been able to reject her. She was just way too good for him, and he wanted to forget about Nezumi. He wanted to give himself a chance to love and be loved, and the fact that Erina reminded him of Safu didn't help it. He felt that, by dating her, he could give himself some peace of mind and move on. And he actually enjoyed spending time with her. She was smart, sweet and kind. She was funny to top it all. He hoped that, with some time, he would learn to love her as well.

"Don't forget that you have a conference to attend tomorrow, Mr President. As well as a date with your loving girlfriend! He he he!" - Erina/10:34

He couldn't help but smile at the overuse of emojis his "girlfriend" had used. Leaning against the desk, he began to write a brief message. Once he was done, he decided that it was time to go to sleep. He had a conference to attend and a girlfriend to pamper, after all. With that thought in mind, he began to make his way upstairs to where his bed was.