It was a day like any other. But that was not a good thing.
Valkrja Beth lamented these thoughts as she idly lazed around her room in a camp she had set up. It was late at night, and she had spent the whole day searching for clues of the stolen Yggdrasil's heart. It was her responsibility as the Yggdrasil's guardian, for the heart to be stolen right under her nose was simply unacceptable. And so she had gathered a horde of warriors to reclaim it.
The problem was unfortunately, she had no idea where its whereabouts were. While the heart was still in place, she had clearly not paid vigilant attention to it at all times. But she liked to think that she was at least capable enough to have at least noticed when a theft was occurring. For someone to have not only stolen it without her notice but also without leaving a trace to be found…clearly this thief must have been someone skilled in the evil doing.
It was a serious blow to her pride. Her only option was to recover the heart. Luckily, it seemed that she had been well liked enough that a hoard of eager warriors volunteered to aide her. But as time went on, even the most loyal of her soldiers begun to realize just how pointless it was to follow a commander with no direction. And the locations that she had thought to search were more often than not dangerous places that yielded no results. Morale plummeting and her own leadership coming into question, she had dismissed the squad entirely to look for clues on her own, promising that she would call once again when she had it figured out.
But it had been days since then, and every day become a little tougher than the last. She had exhausted herself so much that it felt as if it were just going through the motions at this point. She was well versed in combat as a Valkrja, so she had managed to fend off countless creatures, even in her state, but she had made no progress in the slightest. She had to find the heart, and she simply could not do it.
Such were the depressing thoughts that Valkrja Beth had in her mind as she was once again about to end a day without accomplishing anything. Going through the motions in her preparation to sleep, all she could think about was where her next location of search would be. Who would benefit the most from stealing the heart? It was hard to say. The heart was a prized position of Yggdrasil, and could be held as a bargaining chip for many enemy regions. Then who would be evil enough to do such a dastardly deed? Hell was the most obvious choice, but she didn't want to venture there for obvious reasons. Heaven was not filled entirely with the pure angels that one would seem to think so she had explored and interrogated areas there first, but there was nothing to be found. She had looked at other planets too, Metropolis and Nadir and every realm in between, but eventually she came to the conclusion that it had to be in hell.
And it was hell she had spent the past few weeks searching for the heart, confident that it had to be here and that she would have found it in no time. But once again, she had reached a dead end. She had thoroughly searched around every corner of the world and had sneaked past many countless demons and monsters, yet she was no closer to her goal than when she first started. She was at her limit. The mental toll her quest was taking was absolutely devastating. She had lost sleep on quite some nights, racking her brain on what she was supposed to do. It was to the point that it was all she could think about. All her other issues, even while she was preparing for some much needed sleep, were relegated to background noise in the far depths of her mind.
Place to sleep- Make the bed
Hygiene- Quick wash, Clean up.
Clothes- Change into pajamas
Knock on the door- Open door. There's a funny creature on the other side. Well, that's probably normal-
Beth's eyes widened as she suddenly snapped awake. That was definitely not normal! She blinked as she tried to get the creature in focus. A demon? But this was much larger than a normal demon! Red eyes, rough looking black skin, two horns growing off the side of its head…a description she had heard before. This was none other than Vitos, the king of hell. The creature looked down at her and opened its mouth-
Beth cursed as she scrambled away from its attack. Frantically her eyes danced across the room. Her sword! Where had she put her sword? A glint caught her eye on her bed. Ah, that was dangerous. She had probably absentmindedly threw it there upon arriving back, figuring that she would notice and put it away when she was going to lay down. But it wasn't the time to be worrying about her flippant attitude of her own safety right now. Not when her safety was actually at risk!
Nimbly moving low to the ground so as to easily hit the ground should her ears detect an attack, she scurried over to her bed. She must have went quite fast, because she arrived without hitting the floor once. In one steady motion, she sprung up and grabbed hold of her weapon, while whirling around to face her assailant in a defensive position, ready to deflect any attack with her powerful Valkrja sword.
But there was nothing to deflect. Vitos's mouth was open in the exact same position as it was when she had spun away from it, and the king's body stood rigid as a board, as if in shock.
It was a few moments before either party did anything. The king of hell simply stood still with his mouth wide open, while the Valkrja stared him down, sword raised and shaking ever so slightly, keeping her body in motion in case she had to move.
Finally, the king spoke.
"…Hi."
His voice was as rough as his appearance suggested, but Beth was not focusing on the sound. Her mind wallowed in confusion on the devil's actions. It was surprising enough that she had been discovered, even more so by the actual leader of hell. But, with all the cases that she had thought up that could have led to this encounter, she could not think of one explaining why she hadn't been attacked.
…Wait, it could be a trap. This was hell after all.
And so Beth focused her eyes on the demon, taking in every action and any small movement from his body trying to find a reason to keep her guard up.
"…Well, I'll just be going now."
"…Huh?!"
Vitos had noticed the obvious tension the Valkrja felt about him. He sighed. What did he expect? Anyone would freak out upon seeing the king of hell. Just by appearance he was enough to ring some alarms. And here he thought that someone from heaven would have heard him out. He must have been crazy. He blamed all this on the boredom he had been feeling lately. The boredom had driven him out of his mind. In fact, something irreversible had happened just a few days ago as a result of his boredom.
"H-hold it!"
Vitos turned around to see a very flustered Valkrja looking at him, sword still raised. Wincing a little at the sight, he stopped in his tracks and turned to face her. He supposed it was only natural he would have to explain himself.
Beth was absolutely dumbfounded. Why would he suddenly decide to leave? Had he planted a bomb in the area? Impossible. The king had not moved since he had arrived at her door. Still, she tried to find a reason to be suspicious of his movements. She could not simply just let him walk out.
Vitos took a deep breath as he attempted to look slightly less intimidating. A difficult task, considering his natural appearance, but he tried his best.
"I came to talk." He said softly.
Talk? Beth thought. What is there to talk about? She searched her head and with a start she remembered her quest. The Yggdrasil's heart! So it was here after all! She gulped fearfully. This was possibly the last person she had wanted to find it with. A king of hell…surely no ordinary bargain would be enough for him. And taking in her behavior to account, that was likely to add a bit more to the price. Weakly, she lowered her sword and looked at the ground in resignation.
"…How much?"
"…Huh?"
"The Yggdrasil's heart! How much do you want?" She choked out, fearing the worst.
The king answered her with silence. Curious, she raised her eyes to look at him. His eyes were narrowed and his head tilted; the king of hell wasn't particularly known for showing emotions. But even she could see the question marks practically floating over his head.
"…The…what? Yigg…diesel…?"
"Yggdrasil's heart!" Beth raised her voice in annoyance. Did he not even know what he stole? Or-
"Don't you have it?!"
Vitos regarded her oddly before slowly shaking his head.
"I have no idea what you're talking about…"
Beth sighed heavily. There was no real reason to hide the heart, so she was convinced that he really didn't have it. On one hand she was relieved, she could not even begin to imagine what an emperor would ask for in return for such a precious object. But on the other hand, this meant that she was back to nothing. If he had it, at least she would know where it was. Honestly, she didn't know if that was worse.
Vitos stood there awkwardly observing the Valkrja. He had no idea what this object she had just spoke of was, but it must have been why she was in hell. Patient as he was, he waited for her to collect her bearings.
Finally Beth spoke, as if just to be polite.
"So what did you want to talk about?"
"…Well, you see-"
Vitos had been bored lately. The position of king of hell wasn't as all fun and games as it sounded. Piles upon piles of responsibilities had to be taken care of, and the majority of time he spent was on his throne. Sure it was fun for a little while. But giving orders soon wore out its charm. Especially since the majority of them were a result of some troublemaking faction in the corners of hell. And on top of all that, he was blamed for whenever something went wrong, even if weren't his fault. He had recently gotten serious heat over the Metro Flower Incident, an event he had no control over. It was certainly stressful, being king. And boring.
He had been so bored in fact that he even did the unthinkable. He approved an entry to the galaxy league for a group of kids on earth. His subordinates had looked at him like he lost his mind. But he had a reason. Those earthlings…even though they were not kings, even though they came from an undeveloped planet of little significance…they had something that he longed for.
Passion.
Something that they loved.
And he wanted to feel the same way.
The problem though is that those earthlings challenged him to enter the tournament as well, seemingly expecting that he knew how to play as a committee member. But in actuality he didn't know the first thing about soccer. Well, he knew that there was a ball and you were supposed to kick it into a net, but that was about it. He didn't know anything about the technique of how to kick it, or strategy or anything-
"And so, I came to ask you teach me how to play soccer."
"…WHAT?!"
Beth reeled backwards in shock. This guy…this guy had truly lost his mind! What in the world was he thinking? Her, teach him?! Soccer, of all things?!
Vitos knew this was coming. He had expected a reaction like this.
"Of course, I can pay you if you want."
"That's not the issue here!"
"…It's not?"
Beth sighed, trying to calm herself down and talk rationally. Surely, if she could explain just how ridiculous this proposal was, he would understand and leave her alone.
"…Okay, I understand that your pride as the emperor of Hellion is on the line here since you agreed to play those earthlings in soccer. But couldn't you have just asked one of your subordinates to teach you?" Beth smiled. Surely, this would be enough to persuade the king of hell.
"No good."
"…Eh?"
Vitos quickly shook his horned head, a funny sight to see but that wasn't the concern.
"My subordinates already think I've lost it by agreeing to this. If I were to go up and ask them now…"
Beth understood. She was a leader in her own right as well, and she could definitely see things from his perspective. The fact that Vitos agreed to put his pride as a king on the line in a competition was already a big shock to his underlings. Had they known that Vitos did it on a whim, and he actually had no experience in the competition he was playing in, surely it would not end well for the king.
They would have most likely lost their faith in him to make rational decisions, and may even try to replace him.
"Then why not ask someone else in hell?"
Vitos snorted.
"As if I could. Maybe you wouldn't know it, but hell's already an unstable place. I've got a group called the Anothers who are already rebelling against me because of some things that happened that were beyond my control. So who could I ask that wouldn't result in me looking like a fool? Lab Rats? The clowns in Scaradra? Lilith? Oh geez, Lillith…I don't even what to imagine what would happen if I asked her."
Who? Beth thought, but kept that thought to herself. Surely some infamous mercenary in hell. Vitos clearly had issues going on in his realm preventing him from asking anyone in hell, but still, the fact that he thought she was going to do something about it, well, wasn't that asking too much?
"In the first place, why ask me?" She thought aloud.
"Hmm? You're good at soccer."
"How do you know that?"
"Er-"
Vitos thought back to a little while ago when there was a small intergalactic invitational soccer tournament held in a planet between heaven and hell. He had made the trip as a representative, but failed to pay much attention to the teams participating. Some way or another, hell and heaven both made it to the finals. The hell team, consisting of a mixture between the Scout Entries and Executors, had Lucid as their ace and #1 striker. She had been crushing the enemy teams fairly easily, and Vitos expected the final to be the much the same way, so instead of watching the game he had been far more interested in a giant cake being severed in the concessions stand. But much to his surprise, after the game, a sweaty Lucid threw herself at him and complained in a whiny fashion.
"Viiiitos! We loooost! Waah!"
"Huh? Oh."
"…Look, when a crying, distraught girl throws herself at you, don't you think you should say a little more than 'Huh? Oh.'?"
"…I'LL KILL THEM ALL! HOW DARE THEY BEAT US?"
"Um, that's not exactly what I meant, you know…"
Lucid looked reproachfully at the field, where the heaven team was celebrating joyfully. She raised her finger to point out one of their players in particular.
"You see the hag over there? She was their real MVP. Once she had the ball and made a move around poor, sweet Lindsey, their whole team looked like they moved faster and hit harder. It was absolutely ridiculous! Hey, I'm cuter than her, right?"
"Hmm? Sure."
"…You're not listening are you?!
In truth Vitos was listening, but only to the part where she was talking about the player. Lucid, he knew, had excellent technique and excelled at the give and go strategy. Her only weakness was that she tended to get a bit too excited at times and shot the ball for no reason, but all around she was an excellent player. For her to point out someone on the other team, it must have meant that player was amazing in their own right.
Well, either that or it was a guy that she felt she could take advantage of, but seeing as it was a girl she pointed out…
It was later that day when Vitos learned who that person was. Valkrja Beth.
But he couldn't really tell her that he learned who she was because a girl that had thrown herself at him called her a hag. Even hell had standards.
"…Because I'm the king of hell?"
"...Oh. I guess that makes sense."
Huh, she bought it? Vitos thought incredulously. But he had no time to feel relieved because his interrogation was not over.
"How did you know I was here?"
"Er-"
Vitos thought back to a couple days ago, when a so-called emergency brought a rare rise from his throne into a small secluded area of hell. However, the caller was Lucid, so he really wasn't expecting much. Nonetheless, he would take any chance he could to get off his throne and do something other than give orders. Hopefully, Lucid would have an actual emergency this time, and not another ridiculous request such as-
"Viiiitos! There you are! Help me! My pipes are all clogged and I need you to- hey wait!"
Vitos had abruptly turned around and had started to leave. He should've known better then to trust Lucid, but he had really hoped that there was an actual emergency this time. But of course, this was just Lucid, after all. Yet he'd probably still come again the next time she called anyway, since there was always the chance that something might have happened. But, geez this was getting annoying-
"Wait, Vitos, wait! I'm sorry! That wasn't what I called you here for!"
Vitos turned around and shot the temptress with a cold look. Many of the even most powerful demons would have quavered and turned into sand from the ferocity of his gaze, but Lucid, perhaps elated that she had managed to get him to turn around at all, calmly beamed back a dazzling smile her own.
"…Make this quick."
"Oooh, I don't mind if it's- wait!" Lucid shouted at his back, losing her composure.
"Okay, okay. You win. Sheesh. You're just no fun aren't you?"
"What do you want?"
"Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to tell you that hell's been infiltrated. We've got a hag amongst our midst."
"A hag? ….You mean you?"
"No, I- How rude! Sheesh, I've forgiven you for everything else you've done so far, but that might be pushing the limit!"
"You're right. Sorry."
"And now you're apologizing? I-I just can't figure you out can I?" Lucid looked as if she genuinely was conflicted, but suddenly her smile reappeared and she jumped forward to give him a hug. "But that what makes you so fun!"
Vitos took a step back, allowing Lucid to crash the floor ("Oww!"). It may have been a secluded area, but to be hugged while he was on duty may cause a bit of an uproar. He certainly wasn't about to take the chance.
"So this hag?"
"Right. Get this. Remember when we lost to that team in the finals in that invitational?"
Vitos didn't have to think twice about that one. Just like that, he knew who she was talking about.
"Ah."
"Yeah, I saw that MVP hag sneaking around this area yesterday! Can you believe it? Ha, and she thought she was being all sneaky too! As if! No one can out sneak me, you know! So just to prove it, I followed her around all day and traced her back to where she was staying. She didn't suspect a thing! Haha!"
"…She's here in hell?"
"Yeah! What do you think she's up too, hmm? Being the hag she is, I bet she came here to seduce all the men and get them under her control, causing turmoil throughout our ranks and eventually throwing our entire land into chaos!"
"…That sounds like something you would do."
"HEY! Well, you're probably right."
Hmm, Vitos thought to himself. Normally when an intruder comes it meant bad news. But sneaking around hell was very curious indeed. What could there be to gain? According to Lucid at least, the intruder didn't actually accomplish anything. Was there any point to what she was doing?
It was then the thought struck him. If this was the same hag that had managed to beat Lucid in the invitational, then she knew how to play soccer very well. And he had foolishly agreed to participate in the Galaxy League without even knowing the first thing about the sport. The fact that Lucid, a well-know soccer star, stood right in front of him was a painful reminder of just how much of a mess he had gotten into.
And so, as the king of hell, if he were to ask anyone in hell, he would have lost all the little respect he had as a king. But if he managed to get someone outside of hell to teach him, then maybe it wasn't too late for him.
"Where is she residing?"
"Huh? Oooh, are you going to confront her? This is getting exciting! But hmm, should I tell you? I don't like the idea of you two being all alone together."
Vitos grit his teeth. Curse this annoying women! Of course she was going to ask for something in return. Being who she was, he couldn't really offer any amount of money since she would probably swindle enough from other men. There was only one thing that Lucid would ask for and they both knew what it was.
"…If you tell me, I'll clean your pipes."
"What?! Really?!" Lucid exclaimed with a glint in her eye. "That's a promise, right? You swear on your throne?"
"…I swear."
"Hehehe…Okay, I'll tell you then. But you better not break your promise!"
"Right. But if you tell anyone about this, the deal's off."
"Fine by me~. My lips are sealed."
But he couldn't really tell her that he found her location because he promised to clean a girl's pipes. Even hell had standards.
"…Because I'm the king of hell?"
"...Oh. I guess that makes sense."
Hmm, two-for-two. Maybe he should say he's king more often.
Beth had apparently run out of things to say, as she kept opening her mouth and then closing it, as if trying to find something to say.
"So, will you teach me how to play soccer?"
Vitos was the one who spoke first, causing Beth to jump. She stayed silent for a long time, trying desperately to find an excuse. The two of them were on opposite teams in different realms, and just by that fact alone, she had all the reason in the world to refuse. But it was such an innocent request. This coming from the king of hell. It just threw her off.
"…All right." She said in the end. What was the harm? If something were to go wrong, she could escape at any moment. And it couldn't hurt to have the king of hell indebted to her. If anything, this was riskier for Vitos. Were they to get caught, his leadership would come into question. She was confident enough in her abilities to make a getaway in the worst case scenario.
Vitos seemed to brighten up. Even in a face as distorted as his, she could see something resembling a smile on his face. For the first time, the abnormal situation seemed apparent to her. She had just agreed to teach the king of hell how to play soccer, and he was smiling like a little child. It was just so silly. And in that moment she could not help but to smile back at him.
"I look forward to working with you."
Later that day
"Ooh Vitos! Don't shove that in so roughly!"
"Shut up. I'm working here."
Vitos, true to his word, had shown up at Lucid's house to clean her pipes. As in literally. The sink was functioning beautifully and the toilet flushed smoothly. Right now, Vitos was working on an air duct, thrusting a duster in to clean it up. Simply of his own good will.
"…You know, this isn't exactly what I thought you meant when you said you were going to clean my pipes…"
"I said exactly what I meant, didn't I? What, do you have a complaint? Well, this is hell. Get over it."
"Yeah, but-"
"SHUT UP! YOU HAVE THE KING OF HELL HERE GRACIOUSLY CLEANING YOUR PIPES AND YOU WANT TO COMPLAIN?! HOW DARE YOU?! I'M KING!"
"Y-yes, your majesty." Lucid stammered back. She had never heard Vitos yell at her like that before. Normally, if it had been anyone else, she would have gotten defensive, maybe break a few things of theirs. But oddly, when Vitos shouted those words at her with that tone and that glare…she felt oddly compliant.
Vitos, meanwhile, was silently whooping on the inside. The king line had worked once again. Three-for-three. At this rate, maybe he should adopt it as his new catchphrase. He had never had a catchphrase before. The thought struck a good mood within him.
And so Vitos continued cleaning pipes and humming a merry tune while Lucid rediscovered her masochist side.
Thanks to Chupatesta on Reddit for making me this cover! And for those wondering why Lucid is in this, Lucid is Beth's nemesis and has a friendship chain with Vitos, so I played off that.
